Teen Wolf 2.7
...This show.
Also BLOOD. Lots and lots of BLOOD, especially for an MTV show about teenage angst aimed directly at the raging feminine hormones of teenage girls.
This episode turned out to be a very bad trip. I know there was plot, but I must have lost it somewhere between Jackson puppet-writing and Lydia ending up in... a ruined cottage located behind her house, with a vampire burn victim? This is where not seeing season 1 has crippled my plot-twisty mechanism, because I have no idea if that was Peter Hale or a random older undead guy who stalks teen not-wolves, or if they were in the Hale house, or how the hell Not-Peter made her... imagine him as a creepy high school boy in an abandoned house?
I just can't understand why no one goes to Stiles and Scott. THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. Or clearly more than you do. "Hey, I think something supernatural may be happening to me again. What should I do? I know, I'll WALK BLINDLY TO MY DEATH/FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THE BOYS WHO TRIED TO SAVE MY SCALY ASS/GET MY MINIONS TO GET THE INTEL FOR ME BECAUSE I AM A SOURWOLF/SNOOP IN THEIR PERSONAL FILES BECAUSE THE CONCEPTS OF STEALING OR PERSONAL PROPERTY ARE FOR THE NON-CURIOUS, AKA NOT ME."
FFS.
No, wait, I see now. The whole kanima thing has just been a plot because the warlock wants a baby and wasn't cleared as an acceptable adoption parent, damn the system. So now he has his kid and he'll find someone to be the mommy and he'll settle in a cabin in the woods. In fifteen years his child will grow so beautiful that the warlock gets possessive and locks them in a tower - OOPS, NO, THAT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE.
For a person by person look:
Scott. Scott. Why so fail. YAY, you joined the pack, but what, exactly, is 'your way'? You don't have a way! Your way seems to include jumping the kanima whenever, wherever, and just hoping the collateral damage will sort itself out and not fall on Allison!
Ahaha, Erica. I never liked you, really, although this episode conversely made you a more relatible character, and made me want to smack you around just for funsies. But I see what you are doing, Writers! You are trying to provide an alternative to Sterek! IT WON'T WORK.
Jackson. Poor little orphan asshole.
Allison. Why it take you so long to take down Jackson, girl? You thought he had something useful to say? What was that in the library? I'd have been all "Boy, if you DON'T use your super strength to save the wolfychick, I will not feel bad the next time my dad shoots your ass. I will HAND HIM THE RELOADS."
Derek. Baby, you should have seen your face when Scott said he'd join the pack. I can just imagine the scene later when they're gone, and it's all -
Derek: Good job, Erica! You got Scott to join the pack, and all it took was one day. High five!
Erica: *pained gurgle*
- Which should totally be a thing. Your face should be a thing. The puppies are trying so hard, too, it's adorable. Well, Issac still weirds me out a little, but he just needs a cuddle and some people etiquette and he'll be all fixed up.
TL;DR
Not-Peter is a vampire/hallucinogenic mushroom.
Jackson is a mindslave, but might become normally furry if he resolves his daddy issues.
Everything is terribly bad and dangerous.
STILES IS THE GODDAMN BATMAN.
Nothing has been resolved.
Also BLOOD. Lots and lots of BLOOD, especially for an MTV show about teenage angst aimed directly at the raging feminine hormones of teenage girls.
This episode turned out to be a very bad trip. I know there was plot, but I must have lost it somewhere between Jackson puppet-writing and Lydia ending up in... a ruined cottage located behind her house, with a vampire burn victim? This is where not seeing season 1 has crippled my plot-twisty mechanism, because I have no idea if that was Peter Hale or a random older undead guy who stalks teen not-wolves, or if they were in the Hale house, or how the hell Not-Peter made her... imagine him as a creepy high school boy in an abandoned house?
I just can't understand why no one goes to Stiles and Scott. THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. Or clearly more than you do. "Hey, I think something supernatural may be happening to me again. What should I do? I know, I'll WALK BLINDLY TO MY DEATH/FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THE BOYS WHO TRIED TO SAVE MY SCALY ASS/GET MY MINIONS TO GET THE INTEL FOR ME BECAUSE I AM A SOURWOLF/SNOOP IN THEIR PERSONAL FILES BECAUSE THE CONCEPTS OF STEALING OR PERSONAL PROPERTY ARE FOR THE NON-CURIOUS, AKA NOT ME."
FFS.
No, wait, I see now. The whole kanima thing has just been a plot because the warlock wants a baby and wasn't cleared as an acceptable adoption parent, damn the system. So now he has his kid and he'll find someone to be the mommy and he'll settle in a cabin in the woods. In fifteen years his child will grow so beautiful that the warlock gets possessive and locks them in a tower - OOPS, NO, THAT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE.
For a person by person look:
Scott. Scott. Why so fail. YAY, you joined the pack, but what, exactly, is 'your way'? You don't have a way! Your way seems to include jumping the kanima whenever, wherever, and just hoping the collateral damage will sort itself out and not fall on Allison!
Ahaha, Erica. I never liked you, really, although this episode conversely made you a more relatible character, and made me want to smack you around just for funsies. But I see what you are doing, Writers! You are trying to provide an alternative to Sterek! IT WON'T WORK.
Jackson. Poor little orphan asshole.
Allison. Why it take you so long to take down Jackson, girl? You thought he had something useful to say? What was that in the library? I'd have been all "Boy, if you DON'T use your super strength to save the wolfychick, I will not feel bad the next time my dad shoots your ass. I will HAND HIM THE RELOADS."
Derek. Baby, you should have seen your face when Scott said he'd join the pack. I can just imagine the scene later when they're gone, and it's all -
Derek: Good job, Erica! You got Scott to join the pack, and all it took was one day. High five!
Erica: *pained gurgle*
- Which should totally be a thing. Your face should be a thing. The puppies are trying so hard, too, it's adorable. Well, Issac still weirds me out a little, but he just needs a cuddle and some people etiquette and he'll be all fixed up.
TL;DR
Not-Peter is a vampire/hallucinogenic mushroom.
Jackson is a mindslave, but might become normally furry if he resolves his daddy issues.
Everything is terribly bad and dangerous.
STILES IS THE GODDAMN BATMAN.
Nothing has been resolved.