(no subject)
Theo,
I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to figure out what to say. I don’t even know if you’ll read it or crumple it up and throw it away in disgust.
When we got engaged my family thought I was nuts for getting married to a man twice my age, but I thought it didn’t matter as long as we were devoted to each other. That case was always on your mind but you could come home and switch off. After they finally found that poor little girl I thought it would be finished, that you’d get some peace, but it only got worse. You became more obsessed with that case than you were with me.
I’m not sorry I left. If I’d stayed I’d probably have gone as insane as you did. But I can’t help feeling partially responsible for what happened to you. Callie and Damien passed on a little news but I just didn't want to hear about you at all. I just couldn’t bear to see you again after what you put me through. When they caught him I was ecstatic. I thought finally, finally you’d give it up and go back to normal. I came back to Los Angeles and went to the precinct to surprise you. What a horrible mistake that was. I should have stayed in San Diego.
They said you’d just…snapped. You were unhinged before but when they arrested him you went completely psychotic. You were pointing your gun at the other officers and raving madly, it’s a miracle you didn’t kill anyone. And...Jack said you’d mentioned a dark haired, merciless woman, with earrings like the scales of justice, you'd said that she was the real murderer.
Those were the earrings you gave me for our anniversary, back when I still meant anything to you. Somewhere in the twisted mess of your mind you remember me but you remember me as a monster.
He’s a murderer, Theo. He kidnapped a little girl and murdered god knows how many people. I’m your wife and he’s a cold blooded killer who’s never met you and cares nothing for you. But in the end all you wanted to do was protect him and you think I’m the one who took him away from you.
I don’t know if you’ll read this, or if you’ll understand any of it. The doctors said you've completely lost your memory by this point and they have no idea if you'll even be able to recover. I want to say that I love you but until you’re finally back to normal I just can’t. It hurts too much. I know that sounds cruel but that’s how it is.
At least I can say I miss you. Come home soon, Theo.
- Ellen
[Also in the envelope is a wedding photo. Badd looks about 50, maybe a little younger, though with his grizzled face it’s hard to tell. He's wearing a tuxedo and smiling, an empty wine glass in one hand. The woman beside him in the blue dress is probably in her twenties and looks on the verge of laughing in joy. To Badd, she would be recognizable as Calisto Yew.]