(Untitled)

[tati]

oh god. i've been brutal. not fair in some cases, probably, which could be argued, if you feel like it. but i'm trying hard to squish the guilty feeling, because it really needed to be done - for me to feel comfortable within my tiny corner of fandom and to let me have a deep breath while RL is hectic and stressing

Comments

[empress_jae]

yeah...i'm gonna be honest. my feelings are hurt. especially since i asked you before why you defriended me and we sort of laughed it off. now you defriend me again. i don't know...maybe i'm being overly-sensitive because i've been having health issues (totally not the point of this comment) but you're one of my first LJ friends, and i like keeping up with the ones i care about. not commenting on every post a person makes doesn't mean that the other person doesn't care about them any more.

i thought we were doing ok. i know i'm not around LJ that much, but i thought you and i were fine.

oh well.

:(

[tati]

i'm sorry. but neither of us barely, if ever commented to each other even after that one time, and i honestly don't think you cared for my life. i don't say i don't care for yours, i wish you all the best, but it's not that level of 'relationship' i'm ready to have at this particular moment of time. yes, i'm sorry i hurt your feelings, but i'm not sorry for wanting to lessen my LJ circle to people i actually interact with, or for freeing a lot of my time for other things instead of being addicted to flist, only half of which really interested me. if you're honest with yourself, you'd agree you have quite an amount of people like that (like me) on your flist.
i bet i'm not the most popular person around at the moment, but i did what i felt was good for me, and i have no regrets apart from hurting some nice people (you among them). but for my current frame of mind it was the best course of action.
i'm not worthy being hurt about, so spit on me and move on, kay? *hugs*

[empress_jae]

first of all, insinuating for someone to spit on you is not funny. joking or not, please don't be that harsh on yourself. trying to understand why someone doesn't want to be friends with them anymore is worth being hurt over, and that includes you. so just stop all that 'not worthy' nonsense. *hugs

[tati]

it took me whole day to get to replying this, because i was floored, by you being so nice and gracious after i've hurt you twice. i really am not worth it. i have severe self-esteem issues, that's why i didn't feel comfy posting much when i knew half of the people on my old flist didn't care or most likely even filtered me out. i need interaction, not necessarily response to my every damn stupid post, but odd comments here and there at least. i need a smaller space to feel fine (hell, i prefer closing the door behind me while living alone in the apartment), it makes me feel safer. and even if i'm not the most tidy person, i have very little unneccesary things to clutter my space. know what i mean? i made the cut twice in my time on LJ, and i can say both times it was preceded by months of feeling nervous and uncomfortable when the friends list grew over 100. i'm afraid it'll happen again, but i can't help it

Friend Me

[cat267]

Please friend me so I may read your stories.

Thank you

Carol

Re: Friend Me

[tati]

you're in the wrong place for it. and you're already mutually friended with my fic LJ :)