(no subject)
Okay. So, now that I have your attention, I'll show you something REALLY COOL.
This is a tutorial type thing on how to tell between the REAL and the BOOTLEG of Advent children! *GASP*
YES
Now make sure you pay attention, and pay good attention too, and get out your little copies of what you call 'legit' versions of AC. We wouldnt want the other little kiddos to think that you're a retard, now would we?
Okay, so maybe we would, but thats not the point.
FIRST. One of the easiest way to tell if a copy is legit or not. LOOK AT IT =O
THAT, my dearest little pooptards, is the front of a legal, official, REAL copy of the FFVII: Advent Children DVD. Yes, it was bought IN japan, with japanese money, by a japanese person, in a japanese store. No online crap, no ebay fakes, bought when it came out, legally and legitly, money-to-hand, etc etc. Who was that person that bought it? My mother. And I KNOW I can trust her.
Anyway.
First, you might notice that the case is, in fact, rather... well... clear. Its an EXTREMELY fragile type of plastic, and you NEVER see these types of cases used for american DVDs, because they are much more expensive, and much less durable, but, as you can see, they look SO much better. They're alot like glass, but not. They're plastic, kinda like CD cases, but better, and shaped like a DVD case.
So, you little tarts, take out whats inside your case and hold it up. Can you see through it? If you cant, its a bootleg, a fake, and an illegally obtained copy. There will be bloodhounds coming to eat you alive, sent by the Turks of Square Enix, at approximately four o'clock evening tomorrow.
Now, for those of you who made it this far, I'm rather surprised, considering that I'm rather sure that none of the bootlegs would have the appropriate case. However, your bootleg-sending person must be rather smart, so heres the next test. Yes, we're still on the front cover. Look, see the pretty image? Can you see what it is? Yes, its Cloud, on a bike, with a sword, and a pretty little Sephiroth in the background, and an FFVII logo thingy on the upper right hand corner.
WHAT
You mean, its NOT that overused poster picture of Cloud and Sephiroth being all digitalized?!
ZOMG. No. That picture, like the picture of Reno and Rude, with reno sticking his tounge out, was created SPECIFICALLY for advertisement, posters, and magazines. They are NOT in the movie, and they are NOT anywhere on the moviecase. (Unless you have the limited edition box set version, or the psp version, but it doesnt count if you do. If you do have the limited edition box set, stop reading, now. NOW. And mail me your limited edition box set. Give it to me now. Anyway.)
WUT.
Okay, so you people with the digitalized Cloud/Sephiroth picture, since the bloodhounds are occupied with the non-transparent case people, you'll be attacked by angry children with forks.
Beware.
But wait, theres more!
Now, its hard to show with my scanner, but the front cover is actually made out of a photo-paper like... well... paper. It isnt really a front cover, but part of the inside booklet. Like I said, its made like a CD case. That booklet/cover thingy's front image is a holographic image, which means its all shiny and rainbowy and stuff if you tilt it so the light hits it differently, and it has a REALLY kickbutt effect.
Oh yeah, thats right. So all you tards with regular, non-shiny non-rainbowy paper are going to get thrown through the Square Enix's official meat shredder.
What an HONOR.
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WOOHOO. So, we're done with the front cover now. Hm. That took a while, didnt it?
Well, I highly doubt that ANY of those so called, "imports" remain, since they're all bootlegs, but hey, if they did, then kudos to you.
Now, lets go onto the BACK cover.
Oh-ho-ho-ho~
Now isnt that just so beautiful?
Okay, first part I'd like to point out is that little strip to the right, with reno, cid, red XIII, kadaj, and yuffie all in a vertical line. On the bootlegs, that row is simply NOT THERE. Why? Because, as I said earlier, this case is like a CD case, and if they were to try to fit it onto a regular DVD case, it wouldnt fit.
Woah.
But then again, you might argue, "Well, thats blahblahblah" And thats where I'd tune your idiotic rambling out.
So lets move on, shall we?
Now, some of you smarter ones might have noticed that theres something thats here on the original, but not on the bootleg.
Cant see it yet? Move a little closer. Closer. Closer. Clos- STOP. Back up a bit. Okay, can you see it now?
No?
Well here. Its a little white box with black stripe thingies on it, and numbers. Commonly called a BARCODE.
WUT.
Yes, for some of you more informed people, you know that it is ILLEGAL, and/or STUPID, for companies to make merchandise without a barcode. OOOHHHHH. Right, those of you without barcodes, you'll die of having frozen pinapples shoved in painful places.
Moving on now.
OH. But before we go to the inside, I'd like to point out a very, very interesting little thing on the back. Dont worry, I'll zoom in so you can read it good.
Oops.
Moving along.
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Now that we've finished the back cover, lets move on to the lovely INSIDE.
Now, isnt that just... lovely?
Although my scanner DID destroy a lot of the spiffyness, it's awesomeness still shone through.
OKAY.
Now, alot of you are probably like, "WTF. This is NOTHING like what *I* have on MY dvd!"
All of you are more than welcome, and are even encouraged, to go throw yourself off a cliff in disgrace.
Now, lets start with the DVD itself.
WUT. WHAT IS THAT BLACK LION THINGY ON MY DVD?! WHERE IS MY OVERUSED DIGITALIZED CLOUD AND SEPHIROTH?!
Oh wait, now I remember, that was all bullcrap.
Yes. This is the official dvd, and its also LIEKWOA shiny. Its got the uberly, UBERLY spifftastic lion-thingy thats Cloud's symbol on it. Unfortunately, I cannot currently remember the name. I'll put it up later. So, yeah, those of you with anything other than this on your dvd? You're going to get pompomed to death by rabid moogles.
Oooch, what a way to go.
You know what else is really, REALLY cool about the AC dvd? Well, its got another little lion symbol thingy, along with the words Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, Square Enix, etc etc, literally ENGRAVED into the surface. Gods, its just beautiful. You can put your fingertip on it lightly and FEEL it.
"Wait, I dont feel anything. I dont even see that engravings!"
Says the oh so stupid bootlegger, who's eyeballs, and then brains, will be pecked out by mutant chocobos.
Moving on.
OH. WHAT. ITS BLACK. Yes, the inside part of the packet thingy, which isnt really a packet, IS black. Its also shiny, so my scanner kinda killed it, but now you can see the lion symbol thingy alot better, so I guess it served its purpose.
WUT.
BUT WHERES MY INSIDE PACKET?! ITS NOT SHINY! ITS NOT EVEN THERE.
Mmmmm, the lovely protests of bootleggers. Guess what? Jenova is going to pummel you to death with her meteor. Then she's going to step on you. Then some weird shoopuf, which wandered over from FFX, will sit on you, then eat you.
Go away, shoopuf. Wrong number, this is VII, not X. *shoos it away*
Anyway.
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Now that we've almost completely scrutinized the DVD, lets go into the LEGAL issues.
First of all, for those of you who say you got "imports". No, you didnt. Why do I know? Well, I'm not a big expert on politics and foreign trading, but I'm pretty sure that legal imports are only available to big companies who are affiliated with the actual company that made the merchandise thats being imported.
Whats that mean, you ask?
Means you cant get an import directly from japan, you have to get it from a company that got it from japan.
Another thing. You people are like, "BUT THE DVDS DO HAVE ENGLISH SUBTITLES. WHY WOULDNT THEY?!"
Well, gee. I dont know. Why dont american dvd's have japanese subtitles?
OH I KNOW. Because we're all lazy asses. Duh.
The japanese dvd has japanese subtitles, and JAPANESE SUBTITLES ONLY. Why do japanese dvd's have japanese subtitles?
If you're retarded enough to ask that question, then you're not worth my time. Stop reading, get a gun, and do us all a favor by blowing your brains out.
The release date for the Japanese DVD was September 14th, 2005. Apparently the american release date is sometime in april, 2006. Guess what? You wont be getting legal copies until April, unless you can speak or read japanese. Bummer.
Hmmmm... What else is there to talk about?
OH YEAH. Another reason why what you have is NOT a legal import, is because that would be STUPID for square enix to do, and SE isnt stupid. Yeah, thats right. Do you have ANY idea how much profit they would lose by allowing legal imports? A whole lot, thats for sure. Since I'm too lazy to go into WHY it would be stupid, and go into merchandising and whatnot, you'll have to figure this one out for yourself. Its 12:30, and I'm tired =_= Even evil ranting people like me need a break.
Guh, I'd go on more, but I'm pretty sure that you're all as tired of reading this as I am of writing it, so I'll end pretty soon.
As a final note, for those who will STILL attempt to argue their point. Stop. Seriously, you're only going to make yourself look idiotic, and you're going to waste mine and your time. Just shut up, sit down, and pay attention to what I'm saying, goddammit. You're an idiot. Admit that what you have is not legal.
Stop trying to be a goddamn hardcore fan.
And for those who will justify themselves with the overused, "BUT I'M GOING TO BUY IT WHEN IT COMES OUT D:" No. You, and quite a large number of other morons like yourself, have already cost Square Enix millions of dollars.
No, I might not know everything about anything, but I do know more than most, and I do know that I AM right on this. Dont try to argue with me, you WILL lose, and end up making yourself look like a complete retard while everyone else laughs at you.
The final punishment is for Sephiroth to shove his sword down your throat, turning you into a human shishkabob, and then Cloud will chop you up into tiny pieces and feed you to Don Cornelius.
Yum.
Hurr hurr.
