Ladies and Gentlemen - last weekend was the best weekend in my whole life and the first time in years that i have been completely and utterly delirious with happiness.
*grin*

God my mother shits me off sometimes.
her: "Oh, i wont have lunch - ill just have a cigarette for lunch because i have no money."
me: "argh for fuck sake ill buy you lunch!"
her: "no dont worry about it, i dont need to eat. ill just have a smoke."
me: *ready to scream and pull out her hair in frustration* "COME WITH ME. ILL BUY YOU LUNCH."
and even then ( Read more... )

my two month streak is over.
the non-hurting rule has been broken. now i have to start from scratch again.
*sigh*

it is so lucky that i work in an office that gets drunk every friday afternoon.
alcohol numbs everything.
-grin-

he is so
unbelievably
addictively
deliciously
deliriously
toxic.
So poisonous that i could lay paralysed at his feet while he squishes me with the sole of his shoe.
But still i keep going back for more. Do i enjoy the pain of something that feels so good but hurts so bad?

The fella i want wont even hardly look at me.
All this week so far its been happening. Last week, flirty as mad, this week, not even so much as a glance in my direction. And you wanna know the sad thing? i actually put on weight for this boy.
i heard that he think i "look like [i] need a good feed" so what did i do? started trying to put on weight. a ( Read more... )

I guess a little description of myself wouldnt go astray here, for those of you who i invite to read for the first time.
dont let the title fool you - im not as sad as what i used to be. Dont be scared and run away because people have been running from me for years.
im 19, turning 20 in November. I am anorexic, although shes not the friend that she ( Read more... )

Heres my new journal to celebrate the shedding of past demons.
this is just a test to see if she works :)