Post Request MeMe: The Bad, The Good...the Ugly

[tatyannamw]

Ok. Here is one of the topics requested by ya'll. I am starting with the bad(as in my subject line).

This was requested by my long time friend chimeramagazine

How about stuff that bothers you that you keep inside your "crab" shell? :As many of you know, my sun sign is Cancer. My rising sign is Aries, so my ability to feel my anger is heightened as well as

Comments

[kateri_kachina]

*warm smile* I'm often the same way with regards to giving people a pass when I know they've lied to me. I don't forget the incident, however. Little lies are often used to cover up big ones, so I start digging normally. :)

*huggles*

[tatyannamw]

I don't dig. I either give a total pass and brood on my own or confront it head on with, "I feel like you lied about..."

*hugs*

[nightsinge]

Seriously. I feel you--especially the last paragraph.

However, (and I'm fierce about honesty) I do not believe that honesty is an excuse for a lack of tact. To be completely honest about my level of honesty, I will answer the question "does this dress make me look fat?" honestly when my friend is trying it on in the shop. I will not answer it honestly if we're in the middle of the event.

So I'm curious to know if there is an honesty/tact intersection for you as well? In the latter example, I would be more likely to say, "honey you're gorgeous" (everyone is gorgeous, honestly) than give an outright lie. But if pressed...I can't give an answer that leaves a person hurting while unable to resolve the situation.

Woops; this is more of a post itself than a response to you. I meant to say that the essence of your post struck my heart and rang true. ;>

[tatyannamw]

I love thoughtful responses

[nightsinge]

I love thoughtful responses too! Well, thoughtfulness in general, actually. ;>

From our brief exchange I believe that we are in essence equally ethical. Even though our responses might differ in any given situation, I would trust you and your heart implicitly.

Some of this is situational for me. If had friends that I have let go because they couldn't hear what I needed to tell them (addiction problems for instance). I think too there are instances where I keep silent (in the case of a dear friend with atrocious grammar, for instance. I only correct grammar upon agreement with like-minded friends).

I agree about being up front and am all-too-often labeled as the friend who says what one needs to hear. I have grown to check myself though; what I think people need to hear is not always what they actually need to hear. I try to evaluate carefully in advance.

[tatyannamw]

Grammar and spelling is touchy for many folks. No one wants to be corrected. I have to be careful of that with my BF 'cuz he pronounces words wrong on purpose all the time so I will correct him. *mumble* He's a trouble maker.

I am flattered that you would trust my heart. I feel that I could trust you as well. Isn't it incredible that virtual strangers can have kindred spirits and know it right away?

I have also had to confront folks who have addiction problems. That denial is the worst.

honesty

[fairwells]

I don't mind dishonesty. I think people lie all the time, because they're lying to themselves. I just pick and choose what to believe. If they want to leave, that's their choice, but I'm not going to push them on it. But I might choose to ignore them and they'll see it in the expression on my face that I don't believe them. Despite what I say.