Chapter 45- The Reality"--(And again Reet thanks for the icon)
~Taylor~
Well it is the day after our wedding, and here we are laying in our bed with Ezra between us, he had a nightmare in the middle of the night so Trish put him in bed with us, she is so good to him.
Today we leave for our honeymoon, I have decided to take her Tahiti, to a privite Island for the two of us, I am sure going to miss Ezra, but I know he will be well taken care of by my mom and dad, it is just going to be hard to leave him, but he is going to Natalie's for a couple day's while we're gone.
"Good morning sunshine." She said to me, looking over at me and smiling.
"Good morning my love." I said kissing her hand. I could see Ezra stiring around, and then with his blue eyes look up at me, making my heart miss him already and I have not even left yet.
"Your going to miss him, I can tell...maybe we should have just taken him with us." Trish said giggling.
"No, this is our time together before I have to leave for the tour, I just hate being away from him for along time, and I know soon I am going to have to do it for 4 mths, it is pulling at my heart." I said to her, reaching over and taking him into my arms and hugging him.
"I Love you daddy." He said looking up at me.
"I love you too my little man." I told him kissing his forehead, this really is going to be hard..I hate being away from him so long.
I got up and headed for the kitchen, wondering why it is so hard sometimes to be a parent, feeling like if you leave them they will forget you and hate you for leaving, I never want my son to feel that way towards me any more then I ever want him to feel that way towards Nat. My heart is actually hurting. I reached up for the coffee, and started to scoop it into the coffee maker, when I felt a tug on my leg, I looked down to see Ezra standing there holding on my leg, I could feel a lump in my throat, I swollowed and bent down to pick him up and just hold him to my chest.
"Daddy and Trish are going to leave for a few days and you are going to stay with grammy and mommy for a few days my sweet little man, but remember daddy loves you and this is hard for him to do." I said to him as I felt a tear fall down my cheek and I felt Ezra's little hand brush the tear away.
"I love you daddy, no cry." He said to me, making me realize my little guy was growing up and understood what was going on around him, making it even harder for me to leave, he understands when I am on tour that I am gone so much of his life, I hate how I am feeling. I looked up to see Trish leaning against the door frame, with tears in her eyes, realizing she knows what I am feeling, we are connected...and she was feeling my pain..I walked over to her, and the 3 of us hugged.
"You know Taylor, maybe we should just take our honeymoon when you get back off tour, that way we can spend time with Ezra before you guys leave, I mean I can be here alone with you just as well as I can any place we go..he will be going to stay with Nat a couple days and that will be some alone time. I really don't mind honey, I love you and I am happy just being here with you and Ezra." She said touching my face, making me love her even more, she knew how I was feeling.
"Are you sure you don't mind? I mean I feel so bad for feeling this way, but soon I have to leave you both for 4 mths and this is killing at my heart, he is growing up so fast Trish and I hate missing anything with him." I said.
"I am very sure Taylor, I can feel your hurt baby, and as long as we are together I couldn't ask for anything more then that." She said leaning over and kissing me.
I walked Ezra into the livingroom and turned on his cartoons and then headed back to the kitchen, and took my wife into my arms, and just held her to me and never wanted to let go."I Love you so much Trish, you are heaven sent I swear. I am so sorry for doing this, but it is so hard to even think about being apart from him and you at all...but soon I know I have too, I Know it is going to be hard on all of us, Zac will have a new baby and Brianna that he is leaving behind and Ike has to leave his son's..this is going to tug at all our hearts." I said leaning down to take her lips into mine.
"I love you too baby, and I know what you are feeling, and I want you to spend as much time with us as you can, so we can do the honeymoon after you get off tour." She said kissing me back.
We grabbed a cup of coffee and sat at the table, talking then I got up to make Ezra a bowl of cereal, and took it to him, I looked at him watching cartoons, reminding me so much of Zac and I sitting together watching them. I placed the bowl on the coffee table and put his food catcher on him, he looked up at me and smiled, "Thank you daddy." He said to me.
"Your welcome little man, you eat and we will do something later ok?" I said to him bending down to kiss his cheek.
I love being a father, and a husband, my family is now comeplete and I just have to brace myself for the day I have to leave them, I mean I can fly them out anytime, so I might just do that.
~Zac~
I was just opening my eyes when I felt little cold hands touch my bare chest, I looked up to see my little princess smiling at me, I took her into my arms and planted little butterfly kisses all over her face, making her giggle which just cracked me up. "Daddy, top." She said kicking and laughing. She sure was learning to talk more and more, she is the light of my life! I am getting sad knowing soon I am going to have to leave my little family behind to go overseas. I am just not knowing how to handle this, soon my son will be here and he will be so small when I leave, I will miss so much!
"What are you thinking about Zac?" Kiley asked me walking over to my side of the bed and sitting down, rubbing her hand over my face.
"How sad I am that I have to leave you guys for 4 months, I am not really sure if I can handle it, you will be here with Brianna and Seth, and I will be hundreds of thousands of miles away from you 3, It is pulling at my heart." I told her, and yes we decided to name our son Seth...but we can't agree on a middle name.
"Baby, we are going to miss you too, it is hard on all of us, I will be fine hun, I have your mom and dad right up the lawn and I Know the other girls will want to hang out, we are all going to be without our husbands, but you know I am sure that maybe we can all fly over and see you sometimes hun." She said leaning down and kissing my chest.
"Oh god Kiley, have I told her how much I love you?" I told her, feeling so much love in my heart for her.
"Hmmm let me think about that Mr. Hanson...hmm I don't think you have today, but you can tell me all the time, I never get sick of hearing that, and I love you too so much Zac." She told me. In one swift move I pulled her down and I climbed ontop of her, kissing her neck, when all the sudden I hear a little voice.."Daddy...up pwease." Brianna said to me looking up to me with her big brown eyes, making me giggle. "You just wanna make sure mommy and daddy don't forget your here huh? I love you precious." I told her, she kissed my cheek and wrapped her little arms around my neck making me smile. And then she floored me, I almost fell off the bed with her in my arms."I wuv you daddy." She said to me, making me choke back tears. I looked over at Kiley who didn't keep the tears hidden, and then she managed to make her cry more. "Wuv you mommy." She said making Kiley and I gasp, my god my little angel is growing up fast.
She reached over and rubbed Kileys tummy, we have been teaching her that there is a baby in there. "Baby." She said as she kept rubbing, and then he kicked her hand, we started laughing as she started to cry cause it scared her.
"Oh princess..he was just kicking to let you know he is in there baby." I said still laughing, the biggest tears were falling out of her brown eyes, and her long eye lashes we all wet. I kissed her little eyes, feeling bad for laughing but it was just to funny.
"God now I feel bad for laughing, but the look on her face was priceless." I said to Kiley who was still laughing.
"I Know, her eyes were as big as saucers." She said as tears were falling down her face from laughter.
Kiley took Brianna out of the room to go get her dressed, I laid here for a bit realizing how much I am going to miss this, but knowing that our fans needed us too, it is just so hard to think of life without my family for 4 mths. I decided to call Taylor and talk to him a bit, to see what time he is leaving for his Honeymoon.
"Hello" He answered.
"Hey Tay, do you have a minute to talk?" I said to him.
"Of course I do Zac, what is wrong?" He said.
"I am having a real hard time with this whole leaving my family behind for 4 mths, It is breaking my heart here." I told him.
"You know Zac, I am feeling the same way today, We decided to do our honeymoon after the tour so that I can spend more time with Ezra and her before we have to go and do this, so I know how your feeling and so does Isaac, he just called and said the same thing, I can't believe how hard this is." He said to me, I could tell he had been crying.
"Tay, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and soon Seth is going to be here, and I am going to miss out on so much of his life, the little things that I taught Brianna..I want to share those with Seth too." I told him, starting to cry, I love my family so much.
"I Know bro, I really do, I have missed out on so much of Ezra's growing up..this morning I looked at him and realized he is growing up and I can't stop that, and now I have to miss out on 4 mths of his little life. But our fans love us and we owe them this time." He said.
Soon we hung up and we all decided today we are going to take all the kids to the Tulsa Zoo, and just have a big family day with our children, something that is going to be tresured by us guys.