Chapter 47 - The Hard Day
~Isaac~
Well today is the day I have been dreading for 3 mths now, the day that I have to leave my little family and go away for 4 mths. I look around and think about how much I am going to miss out on, Jordan and Joshua are going to be without me, they are going to learn new things while I am gone, and it really makes me sad to think of my life without them. I Know that my brothers are going threw the same thing this morning too...Zac and Kiley just had Matthew and already he has to up and leave, and Taylor, he is newly married and leaving her behind.
As I am standing in the kitchen with my cup of coffee in one hand and leaning against the counter, I hear a sigh, I look up to see Jade standing there watching me.
"Having a hard time with this sweetie?" She asked me, walking towards me holding out her arms. I set my coffee down and all about flew into her arms, she held me tight.
"Yes I am, I don't want to leave you and the boys, it is the hardest thing I have had to do Jade." I said as I felt a tear drift down my cheek.
"I know sweetie, it is not going to be easy for any of us, this is an adjustment that we all knew would sooner or later happen hun." She said kissing my face.
"I know, but for some reason it dont make it any easier, I am leaving you and the boys here, I am going to miss out on so much..they are going to be learning things, gettng teeth, everything that I am going to miss out on is going to be firsts for them." I said as the tears started to fall faster now.
"Oh Isaac, I love you baby, and I don't want you to miss out on any of this either, but you know baby, We can fly over and see you once and awhile..I am sure that Kiley and Trish and your mom are not going to just sit back and not go see their guys...I know I refuse too..." She said wipping away my tears from my face.
"I Love you Jade, more then my own life, you and the boys are everything to me, you have made my life complete and when I leave..I feel so empty inside." I told her, bending down to taste her lips.
"Baby, you and the boys are the air I breathe, and yes this is breaking my heart too..but you know, with the love that we have, we are going to make it through this..you are my husband and I will be right here when you get off the road, I will be here with open arms." She said returning my kiss.
I never thought I could feel so much love as I do right now, she really does complete my life, my world, my soul. I know she is right that we will be just fine, and I can send for her when I want too, she would be there in a heartbeat, my heart was actually feeling better thanks to her.
~Taylor~
I got up out of bed and stretched, this is the day that my life comes to a stand still...the day that I leave Trish and Ezra for 4 mths, how can it be that just one thing can make you feel like your whole life is ending? I can't understand it.
I grabbed some clean boxers from my drawer, some jeans and a sweatshirt from the closet, looked down in my bed to see my wife sleeping so peacefully..realizing tomorrow morning when I wake up, I won't see that beautiful face on that side of the bed, a tear dropped on my cheek, my heart was shattering into a million peices, and felt like it was never going to stop! I walked my naked body into the bathroom and started the shower, as hot as I could stand it, I stepped in and just let the water take me over, I leaned up against the wall and just let my tears fall...I hate leaving them here, I want to just be with my little family and be able to protect them and love them and how can I do that from 1000's of miles away? Deep in my thought I felt a hand touch my cheek, I looked up to see Trish standing in front of me in the shower, I didn't even hear her get in I was so lost in my thoughts.
"You are in your own little universe Taylor, I am going to miss you too sweetie, but Ezra and I will be ok, We love you baby and we will get through this together." She said pressing her naked body to mine, I am so going to miss that feeling.
"Trish, I feel like my heart has shattered into millions of little peices, like it won't heal cause I am leaving the 2 things that make my life complete,I love you both too, and this is absolutly killing me to know I am going to be away for 4 mths." I said holding her tightly in my arms.
"I know Taylor but you know, We can fly out and see you whenever you want..you call and Ezra and I will be on the next flight to you." She said kissing my lips.
"That is a deal, and I am sure that I will have you flying alot, but thank you for making this easier on me sweetie." I said to her kissing her back.
We washed each other up, and just held one another and then got out to hear Ezra hollering for us. Ezra, my son, another reason I hate doing this, he is at the age that he knows when I am not around, and it just makes me feel like he is going to feel like I am leaving his life!
The 3 of us sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast together, enjoying each others company ...I took a deep breath and watched my little family eat, trying not to spill anymore tears.
~Zac~
After I showered and dressed I went and dressed Brianna and Matthew, looking at them both and knowing while I am gone both of them are going to change, and Matthew is going to be learning his first things without me, and Brianna, gosh she has turned into the most beautiful little girl, she took my breath away, she is talking now, and doing things that I am going to miss so much.
She came over and grabbed onto my leg hugging it, like she knew I was getting ready to leave, how do I not feel guilty, how do I not cry, my little angel is holding onto my leg not wanting me to move. I bent down and scooped her up into my arms.
"Daddy loves you so much little angel, I am going to miss you so much, but I need you to help mommy with Matty, do you think you can do that for daddy? Do you think you can be the second mommy of the house and make sure that mommy don't miss daddy to much? Cause daddy sure is going to miss you all so much." I said to her kissing her face, she leaned up and kissed my lips and held my face in her little hands. "I wuv you daddy, miss you." She said to me, and I just lost it with her in my arms.
"Daddy is going to miss you too angel, more then you will ever know, but you remember that daddy loves you very much and this is really hard for him to have to do. But maybe daddy can fly you and mommy and Matty out to see me really soon, would you like that?" I asked her, she shook her head at me, and flew her arms around my neck, I stood their forever just holding my little girl, I looked up to see Kiley standing there with tears in her eyes, knowing she heard my conversation with Brianna. I set her down on the floor and she ran into her play room.
"I am sorry Kiley, I am just really having a hard time with this, I love you all so much and to walk out that door today..is going to tear me in two! I can't even bring myself to come to terms with what I am going to be feeling when that plane leaves the ground and I leave you all here, you guys are my life and I am leaving my life here in Tulsa while I fly 1000's of miles away.." I said brushing her tears away.
"Oh Zac, this isn't easy for any of us, I am so going to miss you baby, waking up next to you, going to sleep in your arms at night, but most of all...just having you next to me telling me you love me." She said throwing herself into my arms, I don't want to let her go, I want to keep her there forever.
"I am going to be flying you guys out to me...I hope you know that, cause I will not survive 4 mths without you guys,and I don't want too!!" I told her.
"I Know Zac, you just call and tell us when and we will be there in a drop of a dime, baby we don't have to be apart for all that time, there is planes." She said smiling at me, making me feel alot better about things.
We got the kids ready and headed out to meet Taylor and Isaac at mom and dads house.
We arrived to see everyone looking so down, I know that my brothers are having the same hard time I am, none of us wanting to leave our families but yet we had fans we had to make happy too.
"Hey guys, it looks like I am not the only one having problems leaving today huh?" I said to them all, Tay looked up at me and I could tell her had been crying and so has Ike.
"I Know guys, this is just as hard on me, I am going to miss my family, I am leaving my heart here in Tulsa, but you know I am going to fly Kiley and the kids out alot! I refuse to be without them for 4 mths." I told them.
They looked up at me and smiled, knowing they all had been talking about the same thing. We kissed the kids and our wives goodbye, we all took a deep breath..Including my dad, who always had a hard time leaving mom, and loaded into the van and waved good bye. And the long journey begins, As I bored the plane, I look back and realize that today, my heart stays here.