Comments | taywen: [magvel challenge o1: royalty] The Making of a King

taywen

[magvel challenge o1: royalty] The Making of a King

May 09, 2011 18:34

Title: The Making of a King
Characters: Caellach, mentions of others
Rating: T
Word Count: 1366
Summary: “Jehanna. I want Jehanna,” he told the Emperor. At Vigarde’s side, Prince Lyon nodded in acceptance of his terms.
( Read more... )

fandom: fe-ss, character: caellach, comm: magvel

Comments 10

raphiael May 10 2011, 00:29:00 UTC

I really liked this! Caellach's always been really interesting to me, and he doesn't get much exploration in fic. Really excellent take on the theme!

Here's a tutorial for doing lj cuts. Don't worry, it took me forever to figure it out myself. :3

taywen May 10 2011, 20:25:35 UTC

Thanks! Caellach has always been my favourite Grado general... which is why I wrote this lol.

Wow, that explains a lot. I was wondering what all those icons were for... guess I should've just tried them lol. Thanks again! :D

raphiael May 10 2011, 23:27:32 UTC

No problem at all!
Also, is it all right if I friend you?

taywen May 11 2011, 00:45:00 UTC

Sure! :D

crimsonmorgan May 10 2011, 09:08:21 UTC

Ay, that was an interesting read. I'm more partial to Riev and Valter, but now you made me want to write/read about Caellach (y so difficult, you name).

Since Caellach and Joshua were friends, it could've been nice if there had been a scene where the "being king" things comes up, but the fic still works well for me as it is. :D Very nice work~

taywen May 10 2011, 20:38:19 UTC

Thanks ~ To be honest Riev creeps me out (though on reflection, I'm not too sure why) but Valter's pretty awesome.

Ah, now I wish I had done that! Sigh... Thanks for the nice comment. ^^

crimsonmorgan May 10 2011, 20:47:10 UTC

Probably because of how Riev talks, looks and does XD But that's why I like him.

taywen May 10 2011, 20:51:49 UTC

... That is a very good point. XD

(The comment has been removed)

taywen May 10 2011, 20:38:35 UTC

Thank you! :D

nagasasu June 8 2011, 19:47:24 UTC

Real nice look into a character not often looked at. his motives were believable, and the short vignette style really worked.

I really like these lines:
"“Do I look like a liar?” the man asks, seemingly amused.
Yes. He doesn’t bother replying."
"and he is positively seething when he sees the flames from his position outside."
"Isn’t that a kick in the teeth, finding out that his old mercenary buddy Joshua was a genuine prince."
"his loyal bitch Marisa"

I'm not too sure if sleazebag fits with the language. Similarly, the "you know" in "you know, he’s bleeding out" breaks me out of the reading experience since I haven't been addressed before. But that's minor stuff.

The last section was my favorite. The writing's really tight, there's great lines there, and everything's brought together with Gerik's mercenary band.

Real nice work. :)