[fe_exchange] the deep breath before the plunge & afterward
Title: the deep breath before the plunge & afterward
For: hooves
Fandom: FE9
Characters/Pairing: Elincia, Tibarn, mentions of others. Tibarn/Elincia if you really squint
Notes: Happy Holidays, hooves!
(the deep breath before the plunge)
Elincia has seen those of the bird tribes - chiefly, hawks - fight many times over the course of her campaign to repatriate Crimea. The contrast between their graceful savagery (a contradiction, yet she can think of no other way to describe it) and the comparatively clumsy and contrived manoeuvres of the pegasus knights is painfully obvious to her, having had many occasions to observe them.
Elincia wonders how the beorc ever managed to subjugate the laguz, all questions of morality aside. When faced with such effortless strength... Well, she wonders. The beorc are children of wisdom, certainly, but the differences in their behaviour stems from their respective concepts of manner and 'propriety' - Lethe has no patience for trite conversation; Janaff is guileless when someone earns his trust - from what the princess has seen of the laguz, they are no less intelligent than the beorc.
Then again, it could all be her upbringing speaking. Her parents raised her to view the laguz as equals in all respects to beorc - an opinion not shared by even her fellow Crimeans, much less the rest of the beorc population. Everyone, child or elderly, soldier or scholar, had their own merit. Noble blood meant little - were it not for a quirk of birth, Elincia could have been a mother already, toiling away in her husband's home.
They taught her humility, she supposes.
Perhaps that is what sets the beorc apart from the laguz - hubris. Beorc see themselves as superior, and act accordingly. They create divisions within themselves, the powerful setting themselves up in positions of power and abusing that power indiscriminately.
The feral ones were evidence enough of that - foolish mages playing at gods, using the laguz as their toys. Elincia avoids them when she has the opportunity, in battle. A weakness, she knows - the mad laguz would not hesitate to rip her throat out, but she can't help thinking of gentle Mordecai or quiet Ulki whenever she sees them.
What does it say about her that she has more mercy for the laguz than for her fellow beorc? But Elincia thinks that at least the Daein soldiers have a choice to stand before her, instead of beorc-induced madness driving them.
Understandably, the battle at Gritnea Tower is one of the hardest for her yet. Soren has her working as a support unit, healing those on the front lines, a fact for which she is endlessly grateful. She should be used to the sounds of battle by now, but the screams, laguz and beorc alike, have her on edge.
King Tibarn takes part in the battle as well, seemingly everywhere at once, driving back overly ambitious hawks or ravens or aiding the front lines.
Elincia feels awkward and slow on her pegasus in comparison, more so than she usually does next to Ulki or Janaff. Tibarn's power is effortless, and she wonders if she will ever be that strong - certainly not as a fighter, but as a leader? Perhaps one day. She can hope.
"Elincia!" Ike's shout cuts through her thoughts - how often had Uncle Renning drilled it into her head when he was teaching her to fight? Don't let yourself get distracted on the battlefield.
Her gaze darts around and she urges her pegasus into flight, noticing too late the raven bearing down on her. Elincia spies Geoffrey below her, attempting to get a clear shot at the feral raven - but she's in the way, it's impossible. She fumbles for Amiti in an attempt to defend herself, but the raven has the advantage of height and speed-
A hawk's shriek reaches her ears and King Tibarn slams into the raven before its outstretched claws can so much as touch her. The ease with which he dispatches the raven is breathtaking, but Elincia's focussed now and spots another hawk trying to take advantage of King Tibarn's distraction.
Elincia meets it halfway, Amiti meeting its talons with a disturbing crunch. It's nothing like fighting another soldier, no familiar sound of metal hitting metal or the softer sound of blade rending flesh, but Elincia forces her unease down and soon the hawk's body joins its brethren on the ground.
"Nice save, princess," Tibarn says, just a hint of dryness in his tone. Elincia can hear the silent reprimand there - yes, she protected his back, but he wouldn't have been vulnerable if she had been paying attention in the first place.
"Thank you, King Tibarn," she replies breathlessly, sheathing Amiti to pull out her Heal staff. "Shall I heal your wounds?"
It's impossible to tell, without the usual facial features, but Elincia gets the distinct impression that the Hawk King is amused. "Very well," he agrees, obligingly flying nearer. Up close, it becomes obvious that his wounds are superficial, but surely he could use the short break from combat..?
"Shall I escort you to the tower?" Tibarn asks, which doesn't really sound like him at all. It's far too formal.
"Are you teasing me?" Elincia asks disbelievingly, addressing him as she would Lucia or Bastian.
"Only a little," Tibarn allows, confirming her suspicions that he is amused. "It looks like they've reached the walls now. Don't want to miss that, now, do we?"
"Yes," she agrees, painfully aware that he is pacing himself to her slower speed as they approach the tower. Soren has the leader, a sage, pinned down while Ike goes in for the kill. "I hope you don't feel obliged to protect me, King Tibarn," she adds, hating the uncertainty in her voice when she says this. "I had a momentary lapse of concentration during the battle- it won't happen again, I assure you-"
"I don't feel obliged," Tibarn answers, seriously. "But it would be a heck of a waste if the last scion of Crimea was killed right before we retook her capital."
Elincia feels her cheeks flush in embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she begins to apologize, but the hawk cuts her off.
"Don't be- everyone makes mistakes."
"Future rulers can't afford to do so," she counters, her frustration and doubts causing her to blurt the words out.
Tibarn glances over his shoulder at her, one sharp eye staring her down for a moment before he faces forward again. Elincia doesn't doubt that he sees right through her, and it only serves to make her more embarrassed. She will be his equal, soon, but at the same time she feels she'll never be on the same footing as him, so to speak.
"They can't," he replies. "But they do anyway. The best you - or anyone else - can do is admit what you did wrong and not let it happen again."
"... Yes," she agrees.
"Besides, it's not like you'll be expected to direct the battle from the frontlines," Tibarn remarks.
"Laguz rulers are expected to... are they not?" Elincia asks, not sure whether she should resent this attempt to cheer her or not.
"Laguz rulers are chosen based on strength, not bloodline," the hawk points out. "But I don't really need to get into the differences between beorc and laguz rulers, do I?" he adds drily.
"No, you don't. I'm sorry for bringing it up, King Tibarn."
"Don't apologize," he sighs. "It's not a big deal. If you feel like you have to make it up to me, promise me you'll rule Crimea fairly and treat the laguz as equals."
"Of course," she agrees without hesitation. "I would never do otherwise."
"I'll hold you to that," Tibarn assures her, but somehow it feels like he's patronizing her. He tucks his wings in to join the rest of their army on the ground, which Elincia takes as the end of their conversation, following him in silence.
...
Ike and Geoffrey tries to dissuade her from entering the dungeon, but if she is to be Queen, she can't be coddled by her generals, can she? And with Tibarn at her side, it's not like the two men can stop them. Elincia just follows in the hawk's wake.
The stench that reaches her almost causes her to turn back, but Elincia clamps down on the impulse to turn tail and flee. What could be down here, that such a vile smell permeates the entire basement? Despite her previous conviction, Elincia isn't at all sure that she wants to know. But it is her duty, surely.
Tibarn has entered the room ahead of her, but has stopped just within the doorway, blocking it with his large frame. Elincia is gathering the nerve to ask him what's wrong - because does she really want to know? - but the hawk speaks before she has the chance.
"What-?" Tibarn's voice is strangled, his entire body radiating tension - no, fury. Elincia stumbles back as he abruptly spins around and storms out of the dungeon.
"Princess, please," Geoffrey says earnestly, having followed her (as he always does and presumably always will). "You don't need to see this."
Elincia steps beyond his reach - not that she really thinks he would physically attempt to stop her - and into the room. At first she thinks the corpses littering the ground are bundles of some sort - those misshapen forms surely aren't-
"Elincia, wait-!" Geoffrey calls, but even when they were children running around the villa she could outdistance him. Ike doesn't try to stop her, an unreadable expression on his face from the brief glance she spares him before she runs out of the tower.
Gritnea Tower was one of the few places Elincia had visited outside the villa. Climbing to the very top had been a novelty, as the tower stood higher than anywhere on the estate where she spent most of her life. It was one of her fonder memories, staring out at the seemingly endless countryside, so different than the landscape around the villa.
She knows without a doubt she will never be able to look at it the same way again.
Elincia crouches at the base of a tree, retching until there is nothing but bile left in her stomach. How could anyone- Those poor laguz-! She slumps against the tree, squeezing her eyes shut as she tries to stop the rise of images in her mind. Just a brief glance, but it was more than enough to sear the tableau in her mind.
Dimly, Elincia can hear Geoffrey calling her name. She'll go meet him in a moment. She just needs to-
How could anyone do something like that to a person?
She presses her hand to her mouth, not even trying to stop the trembling. She's seen her fair share of injuries and corpses on the battlefield but they pale in comparison to what she saw in the dungeon of Gritnea Tower.
Elincia flinches as something drops out of the tree to land beside her, but after a moment she realizes it's just King Tibarn. She looks away as he transforms from a hawk.
"Your knight's looking for you, princess," he remarks, voice devoid of emotion. If anything, he sounds mocking.
She remembers his fury before the battle, at the prospect of facing more of his feral brethren, and then right after he saw the dungeon. Even knowing that that rage had not been directed at her, Elincia had found it frightening. And yet, somehow this unfeeling void is worse.
"I know," she says quietly, studying her hands in the failing light. She should get up and assure Geoffrey that she hasn't been killed by some marauding Daein soldier but... She feels Tibarn's gaze on her, but she's afraid to meet his eyes.
"... Tch." The grass rustles as Tibarn shifts, and Elincia flinches in surprise (again) when he grabs her arm and hauls her to her feet. Even Ike was aware of some boundaries, keeping her at a safe distance.
"King Tibarn-?" she stammers, staggering slightly when he releases her.
"Did it make you sick?" he asks, his voice sharp. When she risks a glance, he's staring off into the distance - she'd mistake him for calm, but for the tense line of his jaw.
"Yes-"
"I guess it would be upsetting, seeing sub-humans like that. Disgusting, really."
Elincia is struck speechless at the abrupt assault. "No-" she protests, but Tibarn talks over her, his voice low and furious.
"No, King Tibarn," she says more loudly, raising her hands in a placating gesture. "No, you're wrong."
"Am I?" he demands, his gaze fierce and proud and expectant. Elincia isn't sure if he wants her to prove him wrong or not. From the threatening way he leans over her- No, she trusts him.
"It sickened me, but not for... those reasons. The sight of those laguz," she stresses, forcing herself to meet his gaze, "was upsetting, yes, but more than that... I couldn't imagine how anyone could do something like to another person. I- I wanted to kill Ashnard before but after seeing those poor laguz..." She trails off, faltering under his harsh stare.
"It seems like everyone has a stake in his death," she finishes lamely, unable to bear the silence any longer.
"... I don't understand you," Tibarn confesses at last, sounding more resigned than angry, now. She supposes that is an improvement.
"What-"
"Ike, I can understand, as much as anyone can. His motivations are straightforward and he doesn't waste time beating around the bush. I lent you the aid of my men because of him - if he trusted you, then you must have been trustworthy. But at the same time, I thought you would be the same as every beorc 'noble' I've ever dealt with."
Elincia opens her mouth to ask what he means, but Tibarn continues talking.
"The Begnion senators are patronizing, lying weasels. The Apostle and Prime Minister Sephiran are deadlocked by them. Whenever I meet either of them, regardless of how 'sympathetic to my plight'-" the hawk's voice darkens, full of sarcasm and disgust, "-they are, I can't shake the feeling that they don't really care about anything I'm trying to say."
"Apostle Sanaki does her best," Elincia feels pressured to say, for she has gotten the same impression, but it doesn't change the fact that Begnion is backing her claim to the Crimean throne. Without them- she doesn't even want to consider it.
Tibarn barks out a bitter laugh. "And the senators fight her every step of the way. But I don't particularly want or need their 'help', either. That's not the point I was trying to make. I don't know what it is about you, but you're just- different. From them."
Elincia blinks, unsure of how to react to this compliment. Was it even a compliment? "I. Thank you?" she manages after a moment.
"You're welcome." The hawk's tone is unreadable once more.
"I meant what I said, you know," the princess adds. "About seeing laguz as equals. I already do, and after the coronation, that won't change."
"And I'll hold you to that," Tibarn repeats, but this time the hawk sounds like he actually means it.
Despite the events of the past few hours, Elincia gives him a hesitant smile - though it's so dark by now, she wonders if he'll see it. "I think we should get back," she murmurs, changing the subject. "General Ike and Geoffrey are worried, I'm sure..."
"Yeah," Tibarn agrees. "Wouldn't want any rumours to start about us, now would we?"
"I- I suppose not," Elincia stammers, feeling a blush rising. Thank the Goddess for the darkness. Still, she's glad that Tibarn is back to teasing. "I wouldn't want to harm your reputation," she dares to add.
Tibarn laughs all the way back to their camp.
...
(afterward)
"I hope you'll attend my coronation, King Tibarn," Elincia says.
Tibarn stares at her in bemusement. "No laguz ruler has ever been invited to a beorc's coronation."
The princess, distressingly, feels her cheeks heat. "King Caineghis will be invited, of course. And Prince Reyson and Princess Leanne, naturally. King Naesala as well, I suppose, though I don't expect he'll accept. I simply- wanted to extend the invitation to you before you depart for Phoenicis," she explains, though to her own ears it sounds more like nervous babbling. Vexing and embarrassing. She presses her lips together, staring resolutely at a random spot on the wall behind the hawk.
"... Ah," Tibarn says, like that explains everything to him.
In an attempt to gather what remains of her dignity, Elincia presses onward. "If you don't want to, I won't be offended." Well, that's a lie, but it's not like she has any right to expect him to accept, either.
"I'll be there, barring any emergencies," Tibarn assures her, grinning.
"Oh. Well- I'm glad. I'll look forward to seeing you, then," Elincia replies, unable to suppress her own pleased smile.
"Likewise," the hawk agrees. It seems like he's about to say something more, but Janaff sticks his head around the door, breaking the moment.
Not, of course, that it was a moment. That would just be silly, on Elincia's part.
"We're ready to leave when you are, King Tibarn," the smaller hawk says, giving Elincia a nod, which she returns.
"I'll be there in a minute," Tibarn replies, and Janaff disappears again. "Well, I'd better be going. I'll see you in a few months?"
"... Yes, I'm sure it will take a while for things to settle down before I can be formally crowned," Elincia answers. "Not that I would have it any other way. I would do anything to see Crimea restored to her former glory," she adds, not wanting to sound resentful or uncharitable.
Tibarn nods. "I think that's what's different about you."
"Different-?" Elincia blinks, momentarily thrown before she remembers their conversation of two days ago. It seems far longer than that, now.
"Yeah. It's your sincerity. You don't say anything unless you really mean it," Tibarn explains. He shrugs, feathers rustling. "Good luck restoring Crimea. I think you can do it, Elincia."
"Thanks... Tibarn."
The hawk nods. "And stay out of trouble," he adds, grinning.