My Summer
The Good
Wedding date is set! Location selected and deposit made. Now comes everything else.
The house is clean! No, that is not a metaphor. Our house is actually clean. Now, if we could just get everything unpacked.
I haven't changed jobs again. I don't know if this a good thing or not but at least I am over-qualified and over-paid at the one I have now.
The Bad
An ant infestation nearly drove us out of our bedroom and kitchen. The little black buggers just would not leave. I'm still trying to figure out why they selected my clean clothes as their primary target.
My wisdom teeth need to come out. I found a really nice surgeon to do the cutting. Now I have to find the $800 my insurance doesn't cover.
I had to learn the hard way that not eating for 36 hours is a bad thing. Not so much for me since I don't remember a lot of what I said but the people around will never forget.
The Detrimental
Here’s the story you have all been waiting for:
When Cheating Dogs Lie (AKA “Step-father” Gone Stupid)
The set-up:
Mom took 2 weeks vacation in August like she’s done since the first time I moved to UGA. But since she didn’t have to move my stuff or me and my grandmother’s surgery was postponed (after the stubborn old bat “bent” a rib-no crack, no break, but a bend), Mom had the time to herself. So she decided to split the time between bringing my grandparents up to Jefferson and being in Panama City with JT. Anyway, plans finally settled and she left Friday after work to be down there with him for the week of his birthday.
The obvious clues:
1. Sunday night: Mom is on his computer, in his e-mail account, sending me an e-mail and adding my info to his address book when she notices an entry for someone with his last name but a first name we haven't heard before. Since the man has more nieces than we can possibly keep track of, Mom thought nothing of it.
2. Either Monday or Tuesday morning: He is at work. Mom is getting dressed at his place and runs out of hairspray. So she goes in search of the extra can she knows he has stashed in the same place he has kept spare hairspray for years. She discovers a box of decidedly feminine products that she knows aren't hers. She confronts him about her find and he denies knowing anything about it.
The Undeniable:
Wednesday Morning (his birthday/the anniversary of Elvis' death):
Mom heads to the job site that morning to formulate plans for lunch. When she drives up, she sees him and a woman she doesn't recognize standing with a group of people she does know. By the time she parks and gets to the group, JT and this woman have taken off. Mom asked where they went and someone in the group says into the office. Mom heads into the office just as the woman blows past her and out the door. Mom starts asking questions but he doesn't answer. Finally, probably to get Mom to shut up, he says the 4 words that will bring the end of the longest era of my life: "That was my wife"
The Explanation:
10 years ago: he decided he wasn't happy anymore--he was teaching me to drive.
8 years ago: he met this woman on a job site--I was graduating high school.
6 years ago: he and she became an item--I was applying to UGA.
2 years ago: he married her--I was graduating UGA and getting my first grown-up job.
Mrs. JT thought him and my mom were long since over. But he couldn't figure out a way to tell my mother that it was over for good. He didn't want me to get hurt. Because every time he wanted to end it, she wouldn't let him. She would drag him back to her by using the one thing he didn't want to lose most: me.
The Irony:
1. This is the part that kills me: She lives in Marietta. For those of you unfamiliar with Northeast Metro Atlanta: that's about 30 miles from where I got my first grown-up job. He was married to her when he helped move my stuff there.
2. And he would have been okay except Mrs. JT was supposed to be at a conference in Colorado but instead went to Florida to surprise him for his birthday. He always said birthdays suck.
The Worst Part:
In 1999-2000, I was dating the scum of the earth. He was a liar, a cheat, and a thief. He did things to me that forever changed my views on almost every aspect of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. JT was a big part of what pulled me through. He wanted vengeance almost as much as I did and had I asked he would have gotten it for me. He was so angry that I had been hurt so much by someone so worthless. After the ordeal was over with, I came to realize just how much he really did think of me as his own daughter. The only father I have ever known helped stand me back after the scum of the earth knocked me down. Only he was a bigger liar and a bigger cheat than I could have ever seen coming.
The Aftermath:
This part would be way too drawn out if I went into all of the details. Suffice it to say it has been bad. My mother and I haven't spoken in a month (that includes my birthday). She has taken to calling other people to threaten me to them. I'm sure at one point she and I will speak again but right now, she really doesn't want to hear my words and she would just end up twisting them to fit her own purpose (which at this point has become to get me disowned by the whole family). Do I feel guilty because I haven't been there for her? Probably not as much as I should. Do I care? Not since she has now told at least 2 people that I'm not speaking to her because I took JT's side. The truth is that I haven't taken sides. They both lied to me. They both hurt me. They both used me as a crutch for their crippled relationship. He came clean when confronted and has tried to apologize even if the words will never be enough. She won't admit that she lied or hurt me or used me. She seems far more content to threaten me for holding my tongue and yell at those closest to me.
Somewhere in the middle of the aftermath, I was supposed to go to Albany for my birthday. When faced with the prospect of dealing with my mother, going back into that house, and facing the crowd of people that I was supposed to have dinner with all of them asking questions I didn't want to hear, I caved. I couldn't do it. So instead I spent my birthday at home. Eventually, I will have to find a way to make sure everyone knows before there is someone at the wedding asking, "How is that you got married before your mom did?"
Wedding date is set! Location selected and deposit made. Now comes everything else.
The house is clean! No, that is not a metaphor. Our house is actually clean. Now, if we could just get everything unpacked.
I haven't changed jobs again. I don't know if this a good thing or not but at least I am over-qualified and over-paid at the one I have now.
The Bad
An ant infestation nearly drove us out of our bedroom and kitchen. The little black buggers just would not leave. I'm still trying to figure out why they selected my clean clothes as their primary target.
My wisdom teeth need to come out. I found a really nice surgeon to do the cutting. Now I have to find the $800 my insurance doesn't cover.
I had to learn the hard way that not eating for 36 hours is a bad thing. Not so much for me since I don't remember a lot of what I said but the people around will never forget.
The Detrimental
Here’s the story you have all been waiting for:
When Cheating Dogs Lie (AKA “Step-father” Gone Stupid)
The set-up:
Mom took 2 weeks vacation in August like she’s done since the first time I moved to UGA. But since she didn’t have to move my stuff or me and my grandmother’s surgery was postponed (after the stubborn old bat “bent” a rib-no crack, no break, but a bend), Mom had the time to herself. So she decided to split the time between bringing my grandparents up to Jefferson and being in Panama City with JT. Anyway, plans finally settled and she left Friday after work to be down there with him for the week of his birthday.
The obvious clues:
1. Sunday night: Mom is on his computer, in his e-mail account, sending me an e-mail and adding my info to his address book when she notices an entry for someone with his last name but a first name we haven't heard before. Since the man has more nieces than we can possibly keep track of, Mom thought nothing of it.
2. Either Monday or Tuesday morning: He is at work. Mom is getting dressed at his place and runs out of hairspray. So she goes in search of the extra can she knows he has stashed in the same place he has kept spare hairspray for years. She discovers a box of decidedly feminine products that she knows aren't hers. She confronts him about her find and he denies knowing anything about it.
The Undeniable:
Wednesday Morning (his birthday/the anniversary of Elvis' death):
Mom heads to the job site that morning to formulate plans for lunch. When she drives up, she sees him and a woman she doesn't recognize standing with a group of people she does know. By the time she parks and gets to the group, JT and this woman have taken off. Mom asked where they went and someone in the group says into the office. Mom heads into the office just as the woman blows past her and out the door. Mom starts asking questions but he doesn't answer. Finally, probably to get Mom to shut up, he says the 4 words that will bring the end of the longest era of my life: "That was my wife"
The Explanation:
10 years ago: he decided he wasn't happy anymore--he was teaching me to drive.
8 years ago: he met this woman on a job site--I was graduating high school.
6 years ago: he and she became an item--I was applying to UGA.
2 years ago: he married her--I was graduating UGA and getting my first grown-up job.
Mrs. JT thought him and my mom were long since over. But he couldn't figure out a way to tell my mother that it was over for good. He didn't want me to get hurt. Because every time he wanted to end it, she wouldn't let him. She would drag him back to her by using the one thing he didn't want to lose most: me.
The Irony:
1. This is the part that kills me: She lives in Marietta. For those of you unfamiliar with Northeast Metro Atlanta: that's about 30 miles from where I got my first grown-up job. He was married to her when he helped move my stuff there.
2. And he would have been okay except Mrs. JT was supposed to be at a conference in Colorado but instead went to Florida to surprise him for his birthday. He always said birthdays suck.
The Worst Part:
In 1999-2000, I was dating the scum of the earth. He was a liar, a cheat, and a thief. He did things to me that forever changed my views on almost every aspect of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. JT was a big part of what pulled me through. He wanted vengeance almost as much as I did and had I asked he would have gotten it for me. He was so angry that I had been hurt so much by someone so worthless. After the ordeal was over with, I came to realize just how much he really did think of me as his own daughter. The only father I have ever known helped stand me back after the scum of the earth knocked me down. Only he was a bigger liar and a bigger cheat than I could have ever seen coming.
The Aftermath:
This part would be way too drawn out if I went into all of the details. Suffice it to say it has been bad. My mother and I haven't spoken in a month (that includes my birthday). She has taken to calling other people to threaten me to them. I'm sure at one point she and I will speak again but right now, she really doesn't want to hear my words and she would just end up twisting them to fit her own purpose (which at this point has become to get me disowned by the whole family). Do I feel guilty because I haven't been there for her? Probably not as much as I should. Do I care? Not since she has now told at least 2 people that I'm not speaking to her because I took JT's side. The truth is that I haven't taken sides. They both lied to me. They both hurt me. They both used me as a crutch for their crippled relationship. He came clean when confronted and has tried to apologize even if the words will never be enough. She won't admit that she lied or hurt me or used me. She seems far more content to threaten me for holding my tongue and yell at those closest to me.
Somewhere in the middle of the aftermath, I was supposed to go to Albany for my birthday. When faced with the prospect of dealing with my mother, going back into that house, and facing the crowd of people that I was supposed to have dinner with all of them asking questions I didn't want to hear, I caved. I couldn't do it. So instead I spent my birthday at home. Eventually, I will have to find a way to make sure everyone knows before there is someone at the wedding asking, "How is that you got married before your mom did?"