Things that squick/annoy me...
... in m/m stories.
Okay, so everyone reading this likely knows what I read (and write), so it should come as no shock to anyone that I have certain things that just irk me or make me go "ewwwwwwww" when reading them.
I'm putting this under a cut because I feel like it. *grins*
***
The constant use of the word penis. Yes, I know it's technically accurate, but when I'm reading a sex scene, I find the word jarring if it's used more than once. COCK, people. Or prick, please. Even shaft. Please?
Anal lips. I mean, seriously, anyone who's ever seen an asshole knows it doesn't have lips. It's not a pussy, for fuck's sake, no matter what's being done with or to it. It's a HOLE. With a sphincter. No "lips" involved. Do some fucking research if you're going to write about it. "Anal lips" does nothing but pull me out of the story and decrease my enjoyment of it. ALL of it, not just the sex.
Felching. I'm sorry (well, not really but I know some people get off on this, so I'm sort of sorry to disagree with your preferences, but not sorry in general). Ewwwwww... and a major squick for me. Okay, I can deal with it if it's just mentioned, but I recently read a story in which one of the heroes performed this act (a short moment within what was otherwise a very enjoyable story) and when the other hero expressed shocked surprise about it, hero #1 actually started a conversation about it by saying something to the effect of "Nobody's ever sucked their come out of your ass before?" Sorry, but WAY too much info, thanks.
Man-clit. Yes, it was in a story about a transvestite, but even so, it was completely disturbing for me that the main character kept referring to her cock as her "man-clit" and frankly, the term makes me shudder. BLEH!!!
Male characters who are described and referred to as looking like young girls. I don't think I even need to explain the why of it other than to say it male-MALE romance I like. NOT romance with tinges of pedophilic attraction. Men should be men. Even when they're rather flamboyant, they should be grown-ups or at least LOOK like it.
Comparisons between the flavor of come and food. I'm SO sick of hearing that someone's come tastes like chocolate or vanilla or sweet wine or whatever. Come tastes like COME. And yes, it varies from guy to guy, but for fuck's sake! If anyone really runs across someone whose come tastes like strawberries, send me a sample because I don't believe it. At all.
***
This one will likely have some of you going "huh?" even more than the previous things I've mentioned, but it annoys me no end because it seems like a cheat, sort of. It's also my BIGGEST pet peeve in m/m AND het stories.
"And then so-and-so did such-and-such and it pushed him over the edge." And he came like a big box of rocks or whatever.
I know this is commonly used and maybe at some point it was unique but it's so fucking common these days that to me it feels lazy. Also, on some level I don't find being "pushed over the edge" at all sexy. I mean, consider all the things one can be pushed over the edge of.
A building. A cliff. Politeness. One's temper. All of those end in a horrible fall, involving crashing to the ground and dying either physically or socially. I don't see how it's a good thing and to use it as a simile of sorts for orgasm just bothers me. Especially in m/m stories, for me it implies that there can never be a happy ending, considering the conotation of being pushed over the edge or even going over the edge.
This may well be just me, but yeah. It bugs me.
***
Finally-- and this may just be my logical mind over-reacting-- when a section of the story is from the POV of the guy getting done to and it says something like "he shuddered as *insert name here* filled his aching hole with shot after shot of thick white cream"...? Um, HE can't see it. And unless HE has some sort of camera up his ass, he can't know it's thick. Or white. And it's definitely not CREAM. Chances are, it's the usual consistency of COME, which isn't exactly cream and really not white, as such.
***
Okay, yes. I'm sort of particular. I know this about me. But these are some of the things that bug me and drag me from being sunk within a story.
How about you, my trusty flisters? What irks/squicks you, and why? *grins*
Oh, and Happy New Year, all! I hope it's joyous for each and every one of you!
~Tis
Okay, so everyone reading this likely knows what I read (and write), so it should come as no shock to anyone that I have certain things that just irk me or make me go "ewwwwwwww" when reading them.
I'm putting this under a cut because I feel like it. *grins*
***
The constant use of the word penis. Yes, I know it's technically accurate, but when I'm reading a sex scene, I find the word jarring if it's used more than once. COCK, people. Or prick, please. Even shaft. Please?
Anal lips. I mean, seriously, anyone who's ever seen an asshole knows it doesn't have lips. It's not a pussy, for fuck's sake, no matter what's being done with or to it. It's a HOLE. With a sphincter. No "lips" involved. Do some fucking research if you're going to write about it. "Anal lips" does nothing but pull me out of the story and decrease my enjoyment of it. ALL of it, not just the sex.
Felching. I'm sorry (well, not really but I know some people get off on this, so I'm sort of sorry to disagree with your preferences, but not sorry in general). Ewwwwww... and a major squick for me. Okay, I can deal with it if it's just mentioned, but I recently read a story in which one of the heroes performed this act (a short moment within what was otherwise a very enjoyable story) and when the other hero expressed shocked surprise about it, hero #1 actually started a conversation about it by saying something to the effect of "Nobody's ever sucked their come out of your ass before?" Sorry, but WAY too much info, thanks.
Man-clit. Yes, it was in a story about a transvestite, but even so, it was completely disturbing for me that the main character kept referring to her cock as her "man-clit" and frankly, the term makes me shudder. BLEH!!!
Male characters who are described and referred to as looking like young girls. I don't think I even need to explain the why of it other than to say it male-MALE romance I like. NOT romance with tinges of pedophilic attraction. Men should be men. Even when they're rather flamboyant, they should be grown-ups or at least LOOK like it.
Comparisons between the flavor of come and food. I'm SO sick of hearing that someone's come tastes like chocolate or vanilla or sweet wine or whatever. Come tastes like COME. And yes, it varies from guy to guy, but for fuck's sake! If anyone really runs across someone whose come tastes like strawberries, send me a sample because I don't believe it. At all.
***
This one will likely have some of you going "huh?" even more than the previous things I've mentioned, but it annoys me no end because it seems like a cheat, sort of. It's also my BIGGEST pet peeve in m/m AND het stories.
"And then so-and-so did such-and-such and it pushed him over the edge." And he came like a big box of rocks or whatever.
I know this is commonly used and maybe at some point it was unique but it's so fucking common these days that to me it feels lazy. Also, on some level I don't find being "pushed over the edge" at all sexy. I mean, consider all the things one can be pushed over the edge of.
A building. A cliff. Politeness. One's temper. All of those end in a horrible fall, involving crashing to the ground and dying either physically or socially. I don't see how it's a good thing and to use it as a simile of sorts for orgasm just bothers me. Especially in m/m stories, for me it implies that there can never be a happy ending, considering the conotation of being pushed over the edge or even going over the edge.
This may well be just me, but yeah. It bugs me.
***
Finally-- and this may just be my logical mind over-reacting-- when a section of the story is from the POV of the guy getting done to and it says something like "he shuddered as *insert name here* filled his aching hole with shot after shot of thick white cream"...? Um, HE can't see it. And unless HE has some sort of camera up his ass, he can't know it's thick. Or white. And it's definitely not CREAM. Chances are, it's the usual consistency of COME, which isn't exactly cream and really not white, as such.
***
Okay, yes. I'm sort of particular. I know this about me. But these are some of the things that bug me and drag me from being sunk within a story.
How about you, my trusty flisters? What irks/squicks you, and why? *grins*
Oh, and Happy New Year, all! I hope it's joyous for each and every one of you!
~Tis