We Made it Through the Rain, Chapter Three
Title: We Made it Through the Rain
Author: tcs1121
Artist: bluefire986
Characters and Pairing: Jensen/Jared, Felicia Day, DJ Qualls, Chad Michael Murry, Misha Collins, Osric Chau, Jim Beaver, OCs
Cameos and mentions: Genevieve Cortese, Rob Benedict, Alona Tal, Aliana Huffman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Bryan Norcross
Rating: NC-17
Genre: J2 AU, hurt/comfort. Timestamp to my 2019 Big Bang Marconi Plays the Mamba. This timestamp is pure, self-indulgent, Jensen hurt/Jared comfort.
Word Count: ~30,120
Beta: kee, who understands me and makes me better. Cheers to us, bb!
Warnings: H/C with an NC-17 rating (and some humor)
Disclaimer: Untrue story. Character names are being used without permission. No money changes hands.
A/N 1. I suggest you read Marconi Plays the Mambafor the full context. It's a fun story. Some of the early dialogue is straight from Marconi, but this story is from Jared's point of view.
A/N 2. This is Jensen's rescue plus the four-month recovery/rehab left out of the original story. It is all Hurt!Jensen/Caring!Jared all the time.
A/N 3. This timestamp begins during the storm, seconds before the defenestration. I can't help it. I love that word and I probably won't ever be able to use it in a story again.
Summary:
"I get congratulated for every little, normal thing, like getting toothpaste on my toothbrush instead of all over my clothes. I get recognized and thanked a dozen times a day, but Jared, you know what? I don't feel strong or brave, and I sure as hell don't feel lucky. I feel damaged, like, everywhere. Every piece of me is moving in a way that hurts. I don't deserve their appreciation, I don't want their platitudes, I just want to be normal and not broken all to bits."
~~*~~*~~
Back to Part Two
Bay Sun Rehabilitation was a bright, modern rehab center. There were long-term care patients and short-term care patients, like Jensen. It was true that the majority of patients were gray-haired, but Jensen's roommate was actually a few years younger than he was.
When Jared arrived, the lights in the room were dimmed and the shades were drawn. Jensen was lying with the head of the bed up, talking to his roommate, who was sitting in a wheelchair by the shaded window. "Oh, man, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say. That sucks big time."
"It does. Sucks about as much as getting blown out of your own bedroom window," the roommate replied with a tight, but sincere, smile.
"Jay," Jensen's eyes softened, and he held out his hand.
Jared wanted to scoop him up and take him home, but instead, sat on the edge of the bed and reached out gently. Jensen grabbed him close and hugged him to his chest, heaving his casted arm over to keep him there.
Jensen's eyes shone. With his recently washed hair combed back, and the smile on his face, Jared couldn't help himself. Soft kisses to Jensen's cheeks and eyelids had Jensen making little pleased noises.
Jared sat back, held Jensen's hands as best he could and said, "Hey."
A small, polite throat-clearing came from the other side of the room.
"Oh," Jensen grinned. "Jared, meet Derrick. Derrick, this is my boyfriend, Jared."
"Pleased to meetcha." Derrick couldn't shake hands as he had double long arm plaster casts. One arm was propped out to the side with some kind of buttressing, and the other was casted up to the shoulder but out straight at the elbow. He also spoke through gritted teeth.
"Derrick was telling me that his are NASCAR injuries."
"Yep," Derrick agreed. "All NASCAR's fault."
"Man, that's awful," Jared said, scooting close and laying his arm gently around Jensen's shoulders. "That must have been quite a wreck."
"It was and I was only a spectator," Derrick said. "We were sitting in the bleachers, watching them burn up the asphalt, when a cobalt blue Camaro ZL1 went out of control and spun into the stands."
"Oh, shit. No way."
"Yes, way."
"Did you get hit?" Jared pulled Jensen closer.
"Nope, but the bleachers and all the people sitting on them came crashing down on top of me. Broke my left shoulder, both arms, and my jaw, that's why it's wired shut. I'd kill for a Big Mac."
Derrick turned his head, showing a surgical dressing at the temple. "Also, got whacked in the head. They had to go in to get rid of some brain bleeding, and that did something to my balance."
"Man, that's rough. When did it happen?"
"I'm not sure, but they tell me it was around three weeks ago. The bump on the head did a job on my memory, too, but that's getting better."
"Neither one of us like bright lights, so it works out well for us as roommates," Jensen said. "So, in this room, we have injury by bleacher, and injury by garage, since my neighbor's garage fell on me."
"That's kinda oversimplifying it on all counts." Jared noticed the telltale pinch at Jensen's forehead. "Do you need some pain meds?"
"I can't have any for another hour, but I'm okay."
"He was a champ in therapy today." Derrick's clenched jaw made him a little difficult to understand, but that came through loud and clear.
"A champ?"
"Yeah," Jensen's cheeks and ears flushed bright pink. "They did some x-rays and said I could put some weight on my legs, so they helped me stand in the parallel bars for a few seconds."
"You stood up?"
"Yeah, twice."
Jared looked at Jensen with both awe and affection. "Twice? That's-that's awesome." Then something wet slid down his cheek. "So awesome. I'm so proud of you."
"Stop it, Jay." There was no heat behind the words.
"So proud."
Derrick, who could propel the wheelchair with his feet, headed for the hallway. "Jared, open the door for me, will ya, man?"
"Sure, no problem. Do you need a hand getting out?"
"No, I'm good. See y'all later."
After Derrick left, Jared closed the door and asked, "Is there anything I can do?"
Jensen's eyes were half closed. "Can you turn off the lights?"
"Sure thing. Anything else?"
"Can you-can you…" Jensen scooted over and lifted the blanket. "Can you?"
Jared clicked off the lights, kicked off his sneakers and slid into bed next to Jensen. Jensen heaved a mighty sigh and snuggled close with his head on Jared's shoulder. "Talked to mom again, today. She likes you."
"I like her." Jared nuzzled the top of Jensen's head.
"I miss you, Jay."
"Miss me? I'm right here."
Jensen shook his head. "No, I miss us. I miss the things we haven’t done yet. I miss us eating steamed shrimp with hot sauce at Crabby Dicks. Or ziti at The Great Impasta. Getting coffee and chocolate croissants at Brewed Awakenings. I miss us checking the weather feeds from West Africa and central Asia, and making up our own Twitter weather hashtags. I miss us walking-I miss walking."
"Jen, this is temporary. Only temporary. It's a story to tell our grand kids."
Jensen buried his head in Jared's shoulder. "I hope so. I hope so."
"You're doing so well. I mean, you're already on your feet again."
Jensen nodded into Jared's chest. "I didn't tell you about the x-rays and maybe getting some weight on my legs in case I couldn't do it."
"But you did do it, and that's a great start. Soon, you'll be on your feet for good, and someday this will be a distant memory. You believe me, don't you?"
Jared felt Jensen smile into his armpit. "Always."
Always. Jared liked the sound of that.
He rocked Jensen slowly in the cradle of his arms. "Don't worry, babe. We'll be going on about Katabatic winds, Noctilucent clouds and Catatumbo lightning in no time."
"I love sun dog halos."
"And sun dogs."
"You promise?" Jensen's eyes were red but dry.
"I promise. In fact, we should take a trip to Venezuela to see the Catatumbo lightning."
Jensen perked up. "Did you know that the lightning occurs over the mouth of the Catatumbo River where it empties into Lake Maracaibo? The lightning originates from a mass of storm clouds at a height of more than one kilometer, and occurs during 140 to 160 nights a year, ten hours a day and up to 280 times per hour." Jensen's voice caught. "God, I miss this."
Jensen sadly laid his head down on Jared's chest.
"Jen?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm so, so, sorry this happened to you, but you did save lives. Please remember that all this, all you're going through, is not for nothing. There are at least three young people still with their families because of what you did."
"Not just what I did, Jay. What we did. It was a team effort. I don't care how long I live, I'll never forget the unquestioning faith, trust, and confidence you had in me." His eyes were shining when he looked up at Jared. "You put everything, your company, your livelihood, and your reputation on the line. All on my say-so, and for that, I'll always be grateful to you. In case I haven't said it, you're the best boyfriend ever."
Jensen, without realizing it, wiped away all of Jared's guilt, leaving a frisson of fear behind. Because if Jared had not helped Jensen, the sacrifice he thought he'd be willing to make would have been too much to bear.
"Hey, Earth to Jared. Where'd you go?" Jensen snuggled close and stroked Jared's arm.
"Nowhere, babe. I'm right here. Always."
As Jensen lightly dozed, Jared said, softly, "Next time I visit, I'll sneak you in something from Lard Have Mercy. Their Foghorn Leghorn bacon wrapped batter fried chicken strips are to die for."
Through half lidded eyes Jensen said, "Best. Boyfriend. Ever."
If getting back up on his feet in week one at Bay Sun was awesome, week two was spectacular.
Jared arrived at his usual mid-afternoon time. Jared did his PMC work at night and through the morning, but the drive up, the four hours he spent with Jensen, and the drive back were sacrosanct.
He pocketed his keys after signing into the facility, and saw Jensen in the lobby sitting in a wheelchair smiling broadly, even though his right leg was out straight.
"Surprise."
"Hey, look who came to greet me." Jared knelt beside Jensen and kissed him soundly. "How did you make it out here?"
"Look at this." Jensen pointed to the left wheelchair wheel that had two wheel-rims. "By using my left hand on both rims, I don't drive in circles anymore. My left ankle still hurts too much to use it to propel, but it can help me make turns. Once I got the hang of using the two rims, I took off, so here I am."
"There you are," Jared beamed. "It's great to see you getting around."
"Not only that, but Rennie, one of the occupational therapists, gave me this so I can hit the elevator buttons and pick stuff up off the floor." Jensen held his reacher out proudly.
Jared laughed good-naturedly. "You keep going like this and it'll be hard for me to track you down." He stepped behind and took Jensen's wheelchair handles and said, "I hope you don't mind, but I still like to drive." He snuck his head around to kiss Jensen's cheek. "You can navigate."
"Deal," Jensen said, happily placing his left foot on the footrest and his hands in his lap. "You know, this is the first time since the storm that I've been able to get anywhere on my own."
"I hadn't thought of that. It must be a little piece of hell to be at the mercy of your bed, or have to wait for somebody to help you get anywhere." He gently rubbed the top of Jensen's head as he pushed him into the elevator.
"It wasn't so bad when just the thought of moving was horrifying, but I realized that I had no way of getting away from somebody who had onions and garlic for breakfast, so I asked for a set of wheels."
"For breakfast? Eww." Jared slowed and took them out of the elevator and into the sunroom. Jensen's favorite place to watch the weather.
Jared sat at the window seat, and Jensen took the double wheel and put himself in the sunshine. He tilted his head back, with his face to the sun, and smiled.
"You look great, Jen. How're your headaches?"
"So much better. It seems that we found the right combination and timing of the pain meds, so I'm not groggy or hurting. I'm really glad that sunlight doesn't hurt anymore."
Jensen was pale and thin. There still was bruising on his face and fingers. Every now and then, he'd grimace and readjust his position, nevertheless, he was still the most gorgeous person Jared had ever seen.
Jared rolled his eyes at himself.
"You're looking kind of tired, Jay, and I worry that you're not getting enough sleep. I know you must be working through the night and straight on 'til morning."
"Don't worry about any of that. Red Bull, remember?"
"You say you thrive on it, but I know it's got to be a chore coming out here every day. I would understand if you came every other day. Really."
Jensen wore his brave Number Nineteen, but Jared was good at reading between the smiles.
"The drive up here gives me a chance to decompress. Being with you gives me peace. Why would I want to give that up?"
"You've got this boyfriend thing down pat, don't you?" Jensen smirked.
"I try." Jared batted his eyes at him. "Did you stand in the parallel bars again today, or do they have you rest in between?"
"We do a little standing every day. I'm what they call weight-bearing as tolerated. Even a little standing is good to stress the bones, it helps them heal. I can't tolerate too much weight-bearing right now, but I'm hoping to try taking steps soon." He winced and shifted his hips. "I wish the pelvis would hurry up and heal, because, now that my head is better, sitting is a bitch."
He looked up, sheepishly. "I don't mean to complain. You don't need to hear about every little ache and pain. I really am feeling much better."
Jared faced Jensen. "First, as far as me coming every day, I want to be here and keep up with how you're doing." He smiled, "Second, I want to hear everything so I'll know when to start counting the days for when you'll be coming home with me."
Jensen put his head back, "I can't wait."
"I wish for it every day."
"Shut up." Jensen took Jared's hand and closed his eyes.
"Not going to shut up because I can't wait for you to see the new steam shower with a rainfall shower head, the heated towel racks, and the chrome grab bars that I have polished to a freaking shine."
"All for me?"
"And for me." Jared waggled his eyebrows. "I also had a Jacuzzi tub with whirlpool jets and a heat lamp installed in case we want to take a bath instead. "
"Oh, man, I can't wait to soak in that."
"You want to know the best part?"
"There's something better than heated towels and a Jacuzzi?"
"A built-in bar for our new bathroom Keurig coffee maker."
Jensen's mouth dropped open and stared in wonder. Jared thought he saw tears form in the corner of his eyes.
Yep. Jared was getting really good at this boyfriend thing.
Misha sat at Jared's kitchen table nursing his cup of breakfast chai tea. "We're currently in a bidding war over a system build for a large internet provider in Chicago, but it looks promising."
Misha sniffed but did not drink his tea. "Our proposal for a total system update for a Milwaukee brewery is polished and ready for Jeff to present. We think it's the tip of the iceberg for growth in the Midwest, so Jeff hired a new sales and marketing manager, targeting Wisconsin, Illinois, and Indiana. Also, two international contracts for redesigns came in this month. Jeff's in negotiations with companies from New Zealand, and the United Arab Emirates."
"Yeah, I spoke with Jeff last night. It looks like PMC is all the buzz, and we're taking off hotter than we anticipated. I hope we're not getting out too far over our skis." Jared sipped his chocolate milkshake. Jared like to alternate his morning coffee with morning milkshakes. "But, since we're going to be taking on more projects, we're going to need to hire more staff, especially for the domestic jobs. I'd like to contract out for the international work, though."
"Agreed. I'll start taking inventory of what skills we have, what skills we need, where the jobs are physically located, and where we can possibly snag the best and the brightest away from our competitors."
Jared shook his head as he took a large swig of the thick shake.
"No. Let's recruit from graduating classes first. You never know when we'll need a friend in the industry." Jared's iPhone rang the generic ring tone. "I wouldn't take too kindly to any company who tried to entice Katie to leave us."
Jared assigned custom ring tones to his friends and special associates. Jensen's ring tone was The Beatles Good Day Sunshine. This generic tone indicated that whomever was calling, was someone he didn't know personally. Although he didn't recognize the number, something about it was familiar."
"This is Jared Padalecki."
"Mr. Padalecki, this is Laura Evers, calling from Florida Atlantic Hospital. You were listed as Jensen Ackles's emergency contact."
Jared dropped his glass, spilling chocolate milkshake all over the tabletop. "Yes, yes, I am. What's happened? Is Jensen alright?"
"He's been readmitted to the hospital. Mr. Ackles's physicians will fill you in when you get here. Please go to the information desk at Emergency Room entrance and they'll direct you."
"Is he…is he alright? Is he going to be okay? What happened?"
"I don't have that information, sir, but the staff will answer your questions when you get here."
Misha took the phone from Jared's hand. "Thank you, we'll be there shortly." He ended the call.
"I'll drive."
Jared lived fifteen minutes from Florida Atlantic Hospital-if that. Why was the drive taking four hours?
"I saw him yesterday, Misha. He was doing great. He was pushing his own wheelchair, and standing in the parallel bars every day. We were talking about when he'd be coming home. What could have happened in that time?"
"Jared, darling, please calm down. We'll find out soon."
"What if he fell and hit his head? What if he developed a lung or spleen infection they didn't know was brewing?" Jared's thoughts went darker. "What if they couldn't wake him up this morning?"
"All good questions. I'll drop you off in front and go park. I'll come find you."
Misha pulled Jared's Jeep over to the ER entrance. "I'll valet park. Go."
Jared ran inside only to be daunted by the long line at the ER information desk.
"No. Please, no." Jared looked side to side to see how he could force his way to the front.
Then, the Physician's Assistant Jared recognized from Dr. Brown's office, came over. "Hey, Jared, I'm Marty, I work with Doc Brown."
"Yes, yes I remember you."
"The doc asked me to find you and let you know what's going on."
Dr. Brown was the surgeon who best how to put Jensen's bones back in place. "Did something happen to Jensen's leg?"
Misha ran over. "Hi, Marty," he panted.
"Hey, Mish."
Jared briefly wondered how Marty and Misha knew one another.
Marty said to Misha, "Why don't you wait here while I talk to Jared."
"Darned HIPPA," Misha mumbled.
"Go, let's go." Jared bit his tongue to keep from yelling. "Now."
Marty steered them down the hallway towards the doctor's offices.
"So, first off, Jensen isn't in any danger, but he is back in surgery."
"Why? What happened? What happened?"
Marty took them into an empty office and closed the door. "Jared, breathe and listen, okay?"
Jared hadn't realized his breathing had become erratic. He sat and tried like crazy to calm down.
"We've been following Jensen's progress at Bay Sun Rehab, as Dr. Brown is still his orthopedist. We took x-rays, and the bones in his ankle, wrist and femur were healing well, as expected, so we allowed for Jensen to bear some weight in standing."
"To stress the bones, he said. So they'd heal faster, he said." Jared tried to keep the worry out of his voice.
"That's right. However, his right knee, the one that sustained a lot of soft tissue damage in the accident, gave out during standing practice and he fell."
"Shit, oh shit." Jared was afraid that his chocolate shake was going to make a sudden and messy appearance. "How could this happen? You said the x-rays looked good."
"X-rays only image bone, not tendons and ligaments." Marty scanned through a folder on the desk. "We reviewed the notes from the therapy session, and it looked like an accident. Jensen's knee brace was on and applied properly. However, the brace didn't totally immobilize his knee as we did allow up to 30 degrees of knee flexion. The therapist used a gait belt, the wheelchair was locked and right behind him, all precautions were in place. The therapist's hands were on him the whole time. But his knee gave out and he went down like a box of rocks."
"Why is he in surgery, and what does this mean for his recovery?"
"The doc knows Jensen's knee better than anyone. He went in to repair the damaged tendons and some newly torn ligaments. Tendons attach muscle to bone; ligaments attach bone to bone." Marty smiled, gently. "I know it sounds like a lot, but it won't set him all the way back to the beginning. Everything else is still healing, and he didn't hit his head."
Jared whooshed out a breath. "Thank God. So, he'll still be able to walk when this is all over?"
Marty hesitated before saying, "I'm not his doctor, and the surgery is in progress right now, so I can't give you a prognosis. I'm not saying this to cover my ass, I honestly don't know what damage was done and what Doc Brown is looking at in there."
And that's when Jared's chocolate milkshake reappeared.
Jared knew Jensen's health wasn't in any danger. He knew the surgery went well, and that Jensen would be waking up soon. But Jared was sick and tired of watching Jensen wake up in pain, because that was the recipe. First, you wake up in agony and then assign a number from one to ten to that agony, and then they medicate you.
Jensen turned his head to the side and moaned. His eyes were roaming under his lids, so Jared knew it wouldn't be long.
Instead of encouraging Jensen to wake up, Jared kept silent giving Jensen a few more moments of relief.
First a groan, then a gasp. Jensen's eyes flew open, and Jared pressed the call button.
"Holy shit, holy shit." Jensen's eyes went wide and his heart monitor screamed.
"Hey, hey, Jen, hold on, they're coming with the good stuff." Jared soothed. "Take it easy, it's okay."
"Not okay. Not okay." Jensen looked down frantically at his right knee. "Shit, Jay, shit."
Jared's thumb was mercilessly stabbing the call button, even though the call light was already on and pressing it more than once was pointless.
A nurse with graying hair appeared in the room and without asking Jensen for a number, administered a dose of something into his IV. She smiled sweetly, "There, hon, that should do you."
Within seconds, Jensen settled.
The nurse looked at Jared. "I know a ten when I see it. Let me know if he needs anything else. I'm right outside."
She slid out the door while Jensen came back to himself.
Jared watched as Jensen calmed. He zeroed his eyes onto Jared.
"What's the bottom line?" Jensen asked.
"Your knee tore on the inside. They had to repair the tendons and ligaments that hold it together." Jared bit his bottom lip. "You've had a setback, and you will probably have some limitations, but everyone seems positive."
"My knee tore?"
"Yeah, the tendons and ligaments that had been repaired from the initial injury were reinjured when you fell in the parallel bars. Tendons attach muscle to bone; ligaments attach bone to bone."
"You don't seem too positive. Did I do something else bad?"
Jared pressed his lips together and stood. "You pushed yourself too hard. Your therapist came and talked to me. She was a mess. She said you pushed and pushed until you finally cracked. Why, Jen? Why did you do that?"
Jensen squeezed his eyes shut. "Everyone says I'm brave. Everyone says I'm strong. Sometimes they even say I'm lucky. Every day someone is complimenting me and telling me how good I'm doing."
He opened his eyes. "And you. You praise me when I push myself a few feet in a wheelchair or stand, fully supported, for five seconds. Like it's some great feat."
"Jensen."
"I get congratulated for every little, normal thing, like getting toothpaste on my toothbrush instead of all over my clothes. I get recognized and thanked a dozen times a day, but Jared, you know what? I don't feel strong or brave, and I sure as hell don't feel lucky. I feel damaged, like, everywhere. Every piece of me is moving in a way that hurts. I don't deserve their appreciation, I don't want their platitudes, I just want to be normal and not broken all to bits. So, I push to get there." Jensen's eyes filled. "I fucked that up, and now you're not too happy with me. I get it."
"I'm not…"
"Go home, Jared."
Jared sighed. "Jen."
"Jared. Go home. I want to be alone." He closed his eyes and turned his head. "I mean it. Go away and give me some space. I don't want you here."
Jared stood and looked at the floor. "Okay, I'll go if you want, but, for the record, I don't think you fucked up. I'm not happy that you pushed yourself, but only because you got hurt. And when you hurt, I hurt, but this isn't about me. It's about you getting back up on the horse."
"The horse left the stall a long time ago, and I don't have it in me. I can't do this anymore, Jared, and I don't want you around to witness my failures. Now, leave."
"I hear you, I do, but you know what? Amazing people, all throughout history, have suffered through devastation and failures and wanted to quit, but in the end, they succeeded. They were ordinary people, like you, forced to face daunting circumstances, like you. But not one of these people were any better than you. They never gave up, and now you can't give up. Never give up, Jensen. Never give up. Never surrender."
Jensen cracked one eye open.
"Not only that, but one of our greatest heroes of all time never gave up. Remember, Jensen, Batman never gave up."
"What?"
"The Batman. He never gave up. Even after his parents were killed, and even after George Clooney, he never gave up." Jared raised both hands. "And Inigo Montoya never gave up looking for his father's six-fingered killer-even scripting the encounter with the killer by saying, "Hello. My name in Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Jensen lifted his head. "That's from The Princess Bride."
"Inconceivable," Jared nodded. "Back when Cary Elwes was so hot it scalded your eyes to look at him."
"I remember." Jensen nodded back. "Even when he was Robin Hood, Men in Tights."
"And the not-so-nice FBI boss in The X-Files."
"And the bad-guy storm-chaser in Twister. Let me tell you, there were some pretty far-fetched tornado "facts" in that movie." Jensen used his left hand to make quotey fingers. "But I did chuckle when the cows were blown around."
"Know who else?" Jared slowly sat. "Luke Skywalker."
"Luke Skywalker?"
"That's right. He didn't quit, even after the stormtroopers killed Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and he found out he was the son of the evilest dark Lord in the universe. Plus, he got his hand cut off."
"He used to bullseye womp rats."
"And they're not much bigger than two meters." Jared added.
Jensen had a tiny grin. "Hey, I think Luke Skywalker voices cartoons now."
"That's right, Jensen." Jared said, looking steadily into Jensen's eyes. "Luke Skywalker voices cartoons now."
There was a full and poignant pause.
"And there's something else you should know," Jared said, scooting closer.
"What's that?"
Jared took Jensen's hand. "I changed my mind. I'm not going away, even though you told me to." He kissed the bruised knuckles of the casted right hand. "You've had a very rough go, and I'm not leaving. Not for a day. Not for a night. Not ever."
Jensen closed his eyes. "Even if I act like a big baby?"
"Uh uh." Jared shook his head. "Nope."
"Even if I tell you to leave, and that I don't want you here?" Jensen's damp green eyes stared into Jared's. His voice caught on the last word.
"Sorry. Staying."
Jensen swallowed twice. "You might want to go home and take a shower, though. It looks like you spilled milkshake all over your shirt. "
"Well, maybe I'll go home and change, you know, to be polite." Jared tipped Jensen's head toward him and kissed him gently.
Jensen pulled himself over, hissed in pain, but moved close enough to bury his head in Jared's stomach. Jared wrapped his arms around him, feeling the tremors and the shaking of someone lost, sad, in pain, and frightened.
And of someone who was loved so very much.
"Jensen, remember something else. The two of us? As David Soul once sang, we won't give up on us, baby."
Jensen blinked, "He did?"
"Well, sort of." Jared grinned. "And he was right. We won't give up on us."
"Are you sure?" Jensen stifled a yawn.
"We can't. It's written in the moonlight and painted on the stars."
Jared hugged Jensen tight as his eyes closed to a drugged half-mast.
"I guess if it's painted on the stars," Jensen slurred. "Kiss me now before I drift all the way off, and, maybe be here when I wake up?"
"I'll be here."
"Groovy."
Jared kissed him and hummed the chorus as Jensen dropped off to sleep.
On to Chapter Four
Author: tcs1121
Artist: bluefire986
Characters and Pairing: Jensen/Jared, Felicia Day, DJ Qualls, Chad Michael Murry, Misha Collins, Osric Chau, Jim Beaver, OCs
Cameos and mentions: Genevieve Cortese, Rob Benedict, Alona Tal, Aliana Huffman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Bryan Norcross
Rating: NC-17
Genre: J2 AU, hurt/comfort. Timestamp to my 2019 Big Bang Marconi Plays the Mamba. This timestamp is pure, self-indulgent, Jensen hurt/Jared comfort.
Word Count: ~30,120
Beta: kee, who understands me and makes me better. Cheers to us, bb!
Warnings: H/C with an NC-17 rating (and some humor)
Disclaimer: Untrue story. Character names are being used without permission. No money changes hands.
A/N 1. I suggest you read Marconi Plays the Mambafor the full context. It's a fun story. Some of the early dialogue is straight from Marconi, but this story is from Jared's point of view.
A/N 2. This is Jensen's rescue plus the four-month recovery/rehab left out of the original story. It is all Hurt!Jensen/Caring!Jared all the time.
A/N 3. This timestamp begins during the storm, seconds before the defenestration. I can't help it. I love that word and I probably won't ever be able to use it in a story again.
Summary:
"I get congratulated for every little, normal thing, like getting toothpaste on my toothbrush instead of all over my clothes. I get recognized and thanked a dozen times a day, but Jared, you know what? I don't feel strong or brave, and I sure as hell don't feel lucky. I feel damaged, like, everywhere. Every piece of me is moving in a way that hurts. I don't deserve their appreciation, I don't want their platitudes, I just want to be normal and not broken all to bits."
~~*~~*~~
Back to Part Two
Bay Sun Rehabilitation was a bright, modern rehab center. There were long-term care patients and short-term care patients, like Jensen. It was true that the majority of patients were gray-haired, but Jensen's roommate was actually a few years younger than he was.
When Jared arrived, the lights in the room were dimmed and the shades were drawn. Jensen was lying with the head of the bed up, talking to his roommate, who was sitting in a wheelchair by the shaded window. "Oh, man, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say. That sucks big time."
"It does. Sucks about as much as getting blown out of your own bedroom window," the roommate replied with a tight, but sincere, smile.
"Jay," Jensen's eyes softened, and he held out his hand.
Jared wanted to scoop him up and take him home, but instead, sat on the edge of the bed and reached out gently. Jensen grabbed him close and hugged him to his chest, heaving his casted arm over to keep him there.
Jensen's eyes shone. With his recently washed hair combed back, and the smile on his face, Jared couldn't help himself. Soft kisses to Jensen's cheeks and eyelids had Jensen making little pleased noises.
Jared sat back, held Jensen's hands as best he could and said, "Hey."
A small, polite throat-clearing came from the other side of the room.
"Oh," Jensen grinned. "Jared, meet Derrick. Derrick, this is my boyfriend, Jared."
"Pleased to meetcha." Derrick couldn't shake hands as he had double long arm plaster casts. One arm was propped out to the side with some kind of buttressing, and the other was casted up to the shoulder but out straight at the elbow. He also spoke through gritted teeth.
"Derrick was telling me that his are NASCAR injuries."
"Yep," Derrick agreed. "All NASCAR's fault."
"Man, that's awful," Jared said, scooting close and laying his arm gently around Jensen's shoulders. "That must have been quite a wreck."
"It was and I was only a spectator," Derrick said. "We were sitting in the bleachers, watching them burn up the asphalt, when a cobalt blue Camaro ZL1 went out of control and spun into the stands."
"Oh, shit. No way."
"Yes, way."
"Did you get hit?" Jared pulled Jensen closer.
"Nope, but the bleachers and all the people sitting on them came crashing down on top of me. Broke my left shoulder, both arms, and my jaw, that's why it's wired shut. I'd kill for a Big Mac."
Derrick turned his head, showing a surgical dressing at the temple. "Also, got whacked in the head. They had to go in to get rid of some brain bleeding, and that did something to my balance."
"Man, that's rough. When did it happen?"
"I'm not sure, but they tell me it was around three weeks ago. The bump on the head did a job on my memory, too, but that's getting better."
"Neither one of us like bright lights, so it works out well for us as roommates," Jensen said. "So, in this room, we have injury by bleacher, and injury by garage, since my neighbor's garage fell on me."
"That's kinda oversimplifying it on all counts." Jared noticed the telltale pinch at Jensen's forehead. "Do you need some pain meds?"
"I can't have any for another hour, but I'm okay."
"He was a champ in therapy today." Derrick's clenched jaw made him a little difficult to understand, but that came through loud and clear.
"A champ?"
"Yeah," Jensen's cheeks and ears flushed bright pink. "They did some x-rays and said I could put some weight on my legs, so they helped me stand in the parallel bars for a few seconds."
"You stood up?"
"Yeah, twice."
Jared looked at Jensen with both awe and affection. "Twice? That's-that's awesome." Then something wet slid down his cheek. "So awesome. I'm so proud of you."
"Stop it, Jay." There was no heat behind the words.
"So proud."
Derrick, who could propel the wheelchair with his feet, headed for the hallway. "Jared, open the door for me, will ya, man?"
"Sure, no problem. Do you need a hand getting out?"
"No, I'm good. See y'all later."
After Derrick left, Jared closed the door and asked, "Is there anything I can do?"
Jensen's eyes were half closed. "Can you turn off the lights?"
"Sure thing. Anything else?"
"Can you-can you…" Jensen scooted over and lifted the blanket. "Can you?"
Jared clicked off the lights, kicked off his sneakers and slid into bed next to Jensen. Jensen heaved a mighty sigh and snuggled close with his head on Jared's shoulder. "Talked to mom again, today. She likes you."
"I like her." Jared nuzzled the top of Jensen's head.
"I miss you, Jay."
"Miss me? I'm right here."
Jensen shook his head. "No, I miss us. I miss the things we haven’t done yet. I miss us eating steamed shrimp with hot sauce at Crabby Dicks. Or ziti at The Great Impasta. Getting coffee and chocolate croissants at Brewed Awakenings. I miss us checking the weather feeds from West Africa and central Asia, and making up our own Twitter weather hashtags. I miss us walking-I miss walking."
"Jen, this is temporary. Only temporary. It's a story to tell our grand kids."
Jensen buried his head in Jared's shoulder. "I hope so. I hope so."
"You're doing so well. I mean, you're already on your feet again."
Jensen nodded into Jared's chest. "I didn't tell you about the x-rays and maybe getting some weight on my legs in case I couldn't do it."
"But you did do it, and that's a great start. Soon, you'll be on your feet for good, and someday this will be a distant memory. You believe me, don't you?"
Jared felt Jensen smile into his armpit. "Always."
Always. Jared liked the sound of that.
He rocked Jensen slowly in the cradle of his arms. "Don't worry, babe. We'll be going on about Katabatic winds, Noctilucent clouds and Catatumbo lightning in no time."
"I love sun dog halos."
"And sun dogs."
"You promise?" Jensen's eyes were red but dry.
"I promise. In fact, we should take a trip to Venezuela to see the Catatumbo lightning."
Jensen perked up. "Did you know that the lightning occurs over the mouth of the Catatumbo River where it empties into Lake Maracaibo? The lightning originates from a mass of storm clouds at a height of more than one kilometer, and occurs during 140 to 160 nights a year, ten hours a day and up to 280 times per hour." Jensen's voice caught. "God, I miss this."
Jensen sadly laid his head down on Jared's chest.
"Jen?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm so, so, sorry this happened to you, but you did save lives. Please remember that all this, all you're going through, is not for nothing. There are at least three young people still with their families because of what you did."
"Not just what I did, Jay. What we did. It was a team effort. I don't care how long I live, I'll never forget the unquestioning faith, trust, and confidence you had in me." His eyes were shining when he looked up at Jared. "You put everything, your company, your livelihood, and your reputation on the line. All on my say-so, and for that, I'll always be grateful to you. In case I haven't said it, you're the best boyfriend ever."
Jensen, without realizing it, wiped away all of Jared's guilt, leaving a frisson of fear behind. Because if Jared had not helped Jensen, the sacrifice he thought he'd be willing to make would have been too much to bear.
"Hey, Earth to Jared. Where'd you go?" Jensen snuggled close and stroked Jared's arm.
"Nowhere, babe. I'm right here. Always."
As Jensen lightly dozed, Jared said, softly, "Next time I visit, I'll sneak you in something from Lard Have Mercy. Their Foghorn Leghorn bacon wrapped batter fried chicken strips are to die for."
Through half lidded eyes Jensen said, "Best. Boyfriend. Ever."
If getting back up on his feet in week one at Bay Sun was awesome, week two was spectacular.
Jared arrived at his usual mid-afternoon time. Jared did his PMC work at night and through the morning, but the drive up, the four hours he spent with Jensen, and the drive back were sacrosanct.
He pocketed his keys after signing into the facility, and saw Jensen in the lobby sitting in a wheelchair smiling broadly, even though his right leg was out straight.
"Surprise."
"Hey, look who came to greet me." Jared knelt beside Jensen and kissed him soundly. "How did you make it out here?"
"Look at this." Jensen pointed to the left wheelchair wheel that had two wheel-rims. "By using my left hand on both rims, I don't drive in circles anymore. My left ankle still hurts too much to use it to propel, but it can help me make turns. Once I got the hang of using the two rims, I took off, so here I am."
"There you are," Jared beamed. "It's great to see you getting around."
"Not only that, but Rennie, one of the occupational therapists, gave me this so I can hit the elevator buttons and pick stuff up off the floor." Jensen held his reacher out proudly.
Jared laughed good-naturedly. "You keep going like this and it'll be hard for me to track you down." He stepped behind and took Jensen's wheelchair handles and said, "I hope you don't mind, but I still like to drive." He snuck his head around to kiss Jensen's cheek. "You can navigate."
"Deal," Jensen said, happily placing his left foot on the footrest and his hands in his lap. "You know, this is the first time since the storm that I've been able to get anywhere on my own."
"I hadn't thought of that. It must be a little piece of hell to be at the mercy of your bed, or have to wait for somebody to help you get anywhere." He gently rubbed the top of Jensen's head as he pushed him into the elevator.
"It wasn't so bad when just the thought of moving was horrifying, but I realized that I had no way of getting away from somebody who had onions and garlic for breakfast, so I asked for a set of wheels."
"For breakfast? Eww." Jared slowed and took them out of the elevator and into the sunroom. Jensen's favorite place to watch the weather.
Jared sat at the window seat, and Jensen took the double wheel and put himself in the sunshine. He tilted his head back, with his face to the sun, and smiled.
"You look great, Jen. How're your headaches?"
"So much better. It seems that we found the right combination and timing of the pain meds, so I'm not groggy or hurting. I'm really glad that sunlight doesn't hurt anymore."
Jensen was pale and thin. There still was bruising on his face and fingers. Every now and then, he'd grimace and readjust his position, nevertheless, he was still the most gorgeous person Jared had ever seen.
Jared rolled his eyes at himself.
"You're looking kind of tired, Jay, and I worry that you're not getting enough sleep. I know you must be working through the night and straight on 'til morning."
"Don't worry about any of that. Red Bull, remember?"
"You say you thrive on it, but I know it's got to be a chore coming out here every day. I would understand if you came every other day. Really."
Jensen wore his brave Number Nineteen, but Jared was good at reading between the smiles.
"The drive up here gives me a chance to decompress. Being with you gives me peace. Why would I want to give that up?"
"You've got this boyfriend thing down pat, don't you?" Jensen smirked.
"I try." Jared batted his eyes at him. "Did you stand in the parallel bars again today, or do they have you rest in between?"
"We do a little standing every day. I'm what they call weight-bearing as tolerated. Even a little standing is good to stress the bones, it helps them heal. I can't tolerate too much weight-bearing right now, but I'm hoping to try taking steps soon." He winced and shifted his hips. "I wish the pelvis would hurry up and heal, because, now that my head is better, sitting is a bitch."
He looked up, sheepishly. "I don't mean to complain. You don't need to hear about every little ache and pain. I really am feeling much better."
Jared faced Jensen. "First, as far as me coming every day, I want to be here and keep up with how you're doing." He smiled, "Second, I want to hear everything so I'll know when to start counting the days for when you'll be coming home with me."
Jensen put his head back, "I can't wait."
"I wish for it every day."
"Shut up." Jensen took Jared's hand and closed his eyes.
"Not going to shut up because I can't wait for you to see the new steam shower with a rainfall shower head, the heated towel racks, and the chrome grab bars that I have polished to a freaking shine."
"All for me?"
"And for me." Jared waggled his eyebrows. "I also had a Jacuzzi tub with whirlpool jets and a heat lamp installed in case we want to take a bath instead. "
"Oh, man, I can't wait to soak in that."
"You want to know the best part?"
"There's something better than heated towels and a Jacuzzi?"
"A built-in bar for our new bathroom Keurig coffee maker."
Jensen's mouth dropped open and stared in wonder. Jared thought he saw tears form in the corner of his eyes.
Yep. Jared was getting really good at this boyfriend thing.
Misha sat at Jared's kitchen table nursing his cup of breakfast chai tea. "We're currently in a bidding war over a system build for a large internet provider in Chicago, but it looks promising."
Misha sniffed but did not drink his tea. "Our proposal for a total system update for a Milwaukee brewery is polished and ready for Jeff to present. We think it's the tip of the iceberg for growth in the Midwest, so Jeff hired a new sales and marketing manager, targeting Wisconsin, Illinois, and Indiana. Also, two international contracts for redesigns came in this month. Jeff's in negotiations with companies from New Zealand, and the United Arab Emirates."
"Yeah, I spoke with Jeff last night. It looks like PMC is all the buzz, and we're taking off hotter than we anticipated. I hope we're not getting out too far over our skis." Jared sipped his chocolate milkshake. Jared like to alternate his morning coffee with morning milkshakes. "But, since we're going to be taking on more projects, we're going to need to hire more staff, especially for the domestic jobs. I'd like to contract out for the international work, though."
"Agreed. I'll start taking inventory of what skills we have, what skills we need, where the jobs are physically located, and where we can possibly snag the best and the brightest away from our competitors."
Jared shook his head as he took a large swig of the thick shake.
"No. Let's recruit from graduating classes first. You never know when we'll need a friend in the industry." Jared's iPhone rang the generic ring tone. "I wouldn't take too kindly to any company who tried to entice Katie to leave us."
Jared assigned custom ring tones to his friends and special associates. Jensen's ring tone was The Beatles Good Day Sunshine. This generic tone indicated that whomever was calling, was someone he didn't know personally. Although he didn't recognize the number, something about it was familiar."
"This is Jared Padalecki."
"Mr. Padalecki, this is Laura Evers, calling from Florida Atlantic Hospital. You were listed as Jensen Ackles's emergency contact."
Jared dropped his glass, spilling chocolate milkshake all over the tabletop. "Yes, yes, I am. What's happened? Is Jensen alright?"
"He's been readmitted to the hospital. Mr. Ackles's physicians will fill you in when you get here. Please go to the information desk at Emergency Room entrance and they'll direct you."
"Is he…is he alright? Is he going to be okay? What happened?"
"I don't have that information, sir, but the staff will answer your questions when you get here."
Misha took the phone from Jared's hand. "Thank you, we'll be there shortly." He ended the call.
"I'll drive."
Jared lived fifteen minutes from Florida Atlantic Hospital-if that. Why was the drive taking four hours?
"I saw him yesterday, Misha. He was doing great. He was pushing his own wheelchair, and standing in the parallel bars every day. We were talking about when he'd be coming home. What could have happened in that time?"
"Jared, darling, please calm down. We'll find out soon."
"What if he fell and hit his head? What if he developed a lung or spleen infection they didn't know was brewing?" Jared's thoughts went darker. "What if they couldn't wake him up this morning?"
"All good questions. I'll drop you off in front and go park. I'll come find you."
Misha pulled Jared's Jeep over to the ER entrance. "I'll valet park. Go."
Jared ran inside only to be daunted by the long line at the ER information desk.
"No. Please, no." Jared looked side to side to see how he could force his way to the front.
Then, the Physician's Assistant Jared recognized from Dr. Brown's office, came over. "Hey, Jared, I'm Marty, I work with Doc Brown."
"Yes, yes I remember you."
"The doc asked me to find you and let you know what's going on."
Dr. Brown was the surgeon who best how to put Jensen's bones back in place. "Did something happen to Jensen's leg?"
Misha ran over. "Hi, Marty," he panted.
"Hey, Mish."
Jared briefly wondered how Marty and Misha knew one another.
Marty said to Misha, "Why don't you wait here while I talk to Jared."
"Darned HIPPA," Misha mumbled.
"Go, let's go." Jared bit his tongue to keep from yelling. "Now."
Marty steered them down the hallway towards the doctor's offices.
"So, first off, Jensen isn't in any danger, but he is back in surgery."
"Why? What happened? What happened?"
Marty took them into an empty office and closed the door. "Jared, breathe and listen, okay?"
Jared hadn't realized his breathing had become erratic. He sat and tried like crazy to calm down.
"We've been following Jensen's progress at Bay Sun Rehab, as Dr. Brown is still his orthopedist. We took x-rays, and the bones in his ankle, wrist and femur were healing well, as expected, so we allowed for Jensen to bear some weight in standing."
"To stress the bones, he said. So they'd heal faster, he said." Jared tried to keep the worry out of his voice.
"That's right. However, his right knee, the one that sustained a lot of soft tissue damage in the accident, gave out during standing practice and he fell."
"Shit, oh shit." Jared was afraid that his chocolate shake was going to make a sudden and messy appearance. "How could this happen? You said the x-rays looked good."
"X-rays only image bone, not tendons and ligaments." Marty scanned through a folder on the desk. "We reviewed the notes from the therapy session, and it looked like an accident. Jensen's knee brace was on and applied properly. However, the brace didn't totally immobilize his knee as we did allow up to 30 degrees of knee flexion. The therapist used a gait belt, the wheelchair was locked and right behind him, all precautions were in place. The therapist's hands were on him the whole time. But his knee gave out and he went down like a box of rocks."
"Why is he in surgery, and what does this mean for his recovery?"
"The doc knows Jensen's knee better than anyone. He went in to repair the damaged tendons and some newly torn ligaments. Tendons attach muscle to bone; ligaments attach bone to bone." Marty smiled, gently. "I know it sounds like a lot, but it won't set him all the way back to the beginning. Everything else is still healing, and he didn't hit his head."
Jared whooshed out a breath. "Thank God. So, he'll still be able to walk when this is all over?"
Marty hesitated before saying, "I'm not his doctor, and the surgery is in progress right now, so I can't give you a prognosis. I'm not saying this to cover my ass, I honestly don't know what damage was done and what Doc Brown is looking at in there."
And that's when Jared's chocolate milkshake reappeared.
Jared knew Jensen's health wasn't in any danger. He knew the surgery went well, and that Jensen would be waking up soon. But Jared was sick and tired of watching Jensen wake up in pain, because that was the recipe. First, you wake up in agony and then assign a number from one to ten to that agony, and then they medicate you.
Jensen turned his head to the side and moaned. His eyes were roaming under his lids, so Jared knew it wouldn't be long.
Instead of encouraging Jensen to wake up, Jared kept silent giving Jensen a few more moments of relief.
First a groan, then a gasp. Jensen's eyes flew open, and Jared pressed the call button.
"Holy shit, holy shit." Jensen's eyes went wide and his heart monitor screamed.
"Hey, hey, Jen, hold on, they're coming with the good stuff." Jared soothed. "Take it easy, it's okay."
"Not okay. Not okay." Jensen looked down frantically at his right knee. "Shit, Jay, shit."
Jared's thumb was mercilessly stabbing the call button, even though the call light was already on and pressing it more than once was pointless.
A nurse with graying hair appeared in the room and without asking Jensen for a number, administered a dose of something into his IV. She smiled sweetly, "There, hon, that should do you."
Within seconds, Jensen settled.
The nurse looked at Jared. "I know a ten when I see it. Let me know if he needs anything else. I'm right outside."
She slid out the door while Jensen came back to himself.
Jared watched as Jensen calmed. He zeroed his eyes onto Jared.
"What's the bottom line?" Jensen asked.
"Your knee tore on the inside. They had to repair the tendons and ligaments that hold it together." Jared bit his bottom lip. "You've had a setback, and you will probably have some limitations, but everyone seems positive."
"My knee tore?"
"Yeah, the tendons and ligaments that had been repaired from the initial injury were reinjured when you fell in the parallel bars. Tendons attach muscle to bone; ligaments attach bone to bone."
"You don't seem too positive. Did I do something else bad?"
Jared pressed his lips together and stood. "You pushed yourself too hard. Your therapist came and talked to me. She was a mess. She said you pushed and pushed until you finally cracked. Why, Jen? Why did you do that?"
Jensen squeezed his eyes shut. "Everyone says I'm brave. Everyone says I'm strong. Sometimes they even say I'm lucky. Every day someone is complimenting me and telling me how good I'm doing."
He opened his eyes. "And you. You praise me when I push myself a few feet in a wheelchair or stand, fully supported, for five seconds. Like it's some great feat."
"Jensen."
"I get congratulated for every little, normal thing, like getting toothpaste on my toothbrush instead of all over my clothes. I get recognized and thanked a dozen times a day, but Jared, you know what? I don't feel strong or brave, and I sure as hell don't feel lucky. I feel damaged, like, everywhere. Every piece of me is moving in a way that hurts. I don't deserve their appreciation, I don't want their platitudes, I just want to be normal and not broken all to bits. So, I push to get there." Jensen's eyes filled. "I fucked that up, and now you're not too happy with me. I get it."
"I'm not…"
"Go home, Jared."
Jared sighed. "Jen."
"Jared. Go home. I want to be alone." He closed his eyes and turned his head. "I mean it. Go away and give me some space. I don't want you here."
Jared stood and looked at the floor. "Okay, I'll go if you want, but, for the record, I don't think you fucked up. I'm not happy that you pushed yourself, but only because you got hurt. And when you hurt, I hurt, but this isn't about me. It's about you getting back up on the horse."
"The horse left the stall a long time ago, and I don't have it in me. I can't do this anymore, Jared, and I don't want you around to witness my failures. Now, leave."
"I hear you, I do, but you know what? Amazing people, all throughout history, have suffered through devastation and failures and wanted to quit, but in the end, they succeeded. They were ordinary people, like you, forced to face daunting circumstances, like you. But not one of these people were any better than you. They never gave up, and now you can't give up. Never give up, Jensen. Never give up. Never surrender."
Jensen cracked one eye open.
"Not only that, but one of our greatest heroes of all time never gave up. Remember, Jensen, Batman never gave up."
"What?"
"The Batman. He never gave up. Even after his parents were killed, and even after George Clooney, he never gave up." Jared raised both hands. "And Inigo Montoya never gave up looking for his father's six-fingered killer-even scripting the encounter with the killer by saying, "Hello. My name in Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Jensen lifted his head. "That's from The Princess Bride."
"Inconceivable," Jared nodded. "Back when Cary Elwes was so hot it scalded your eyes to look at him."
"I remember." Jensen nodded back. "Even when he was Robin Hood, Men in Tights."
"And the not-so-nice FBI boss in The X-Files."
"And the bad-guy storm-chaser in Twister. Let me tell you, there were some pretty far-fetched tornado "facts" in that movie." Jensen used his left hand to make quotey fingers. "But I did chuckle when the cows were blown around."
"Know who else?" Jared slowly sat. "Luke Skywalker."
"Luke Skywalker?"
"That's right. He didn't quit, even after the stormtroopers killed Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and he found out he was the son of the evilest dark Lord in the universe. Plus, he got his hand cut off."
"He used to bullseye womp rats."
"And they're not much bigger than two meters." Jared added.
Jensen had a tiny grin. "Hey, I think Luke Skywalker voices cartoons now."
"That's right, Jensen." Jared said, looking steadily into Jensen's eyes. "Luke Skywalker voices cartoons now."
There was a full and poignant pause.
"And there's something else you should know," Jared said, scooting closer.
"What's that?"
Jared took Jensen's hand. "I changed my mind. I'm not going away, even though you told me to." He kissed the bruised knuckles of the casted right hand. "You've had a very rough go, and I'm not leaving. Not for a day. Not for a night. Not ever."
Jensen closed his eyes. "Even if I act like a big baby?"
"Uh uh." Jared shook his head. "Nope."
"Even if I tell you to leave, and that I don't want you here?" Jensen's damp green eyes stared into Jared's. His voice caught on the last word.
"Sorry. Staying."
Jensen swallowed twice. "You might want to go home and take a shower, though. It looks like you spilled milkshake all over your shirt. "
"Well, maybe I'll go home and change, you know, to be polite." Jared tipped Jensen's head toward him and kissed him gently.
Jensen pulled himself over, hissed in pain, but moved close enough to bury his head in Jared's stomach. Jared wrapped his arms around him, feeling the tremors and the shaking of someone lost, sad, in pain, and frightened.
And of someone who was loved so very much.
"Jensen, remember something else. The two of us? As David Soul once sang, we won't give up on us, baby."
Jensen blinked, "He did?"
"Well, sort of." Jared grinned. "And he was right. We won't give up on us."
"Are you sure?" Jensen stifled a yawn.
"We can't. It's written in the moonlight and painted on the stars."
Jared hugged Jensen tight as his eyes closed to a drugged half-mast.
"I guess if it's painted on the stars," Jensen slurred. "Kiss me now before I drift all the way off, and, maybe be here when I wake up?"
"I'll be here."
"Groovy."
Jared kissed him and hummed the chorus as Jensen dropped off to sleep.
On to Chapter Four