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I made the absolutely worst sexual pun of my career today while talking with an ex-coworker about the new sexual development in the relationship between a pair of mutual friends of ours.

Me : She was like Carthage and he was like Rome, but more in a positive sense.

Friend : Genocidally?

Me : More like she was never so happy to have the land of her

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Don't encourage me, I'll only do worse! The court says I'm a repeat offender you know.