The Joys of Idiocy
The Joys of Idiocy
By Tealgeezus
Characters/Pairings - Conner Kent/Tim Drake
Rating - G
Continuity - somewhere after Teen Titans 92.
Summery - Sometimes, Kon loved being an idiot…
Notes - After reading Tim’s extreme reaction in Robin 29, this was just something I felt I had to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You've GOT to be kidding me...." For anybody else, Tim might just have seemed exasperated. But there was the faintest tick in his left eyebrow hidden beneath his cowl and a slight downturn of lips. To anybody else, it would seem subtle. But Kon knew better. Tim was PISSED.
"What? It doesn't look that bad, does it?" Kon tried to laugh it off, but he could feel the glare; it permeated him, settling uncomfortably between his shoulder blades. He was eternally grateful Tim didn't have something like heat vision at times like this.
Tim pulled back, visibly bristling. It wasn't in Tim's nature to be overtly mean or tactless for the sake of being mean and tactless. But it was obvious that he didn't approve. "It looks...."
"Awesome?" Kon finished for him, running a hand through his hair. "Come on, dude. You know what they say."
"A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned?"
"Huh? What's that mean?"
"It means you’re an idiot." Tim crossed his arms in front of his chest, his veiled eyes narrowing.
Kon waved off the statement and fixed Tim with what he knew was a winning smile. "No. They say 'blonds have more fun'."
Tim eyed Kon’s newly bleached hair like it was a festering alien on his head, about to crawl off and start the apocalypse. "Then they're idiots, too." With that, he hopped off the edge of the roof they were posted at, swinging to a small ledge on the adjacent building.
Kon sighed. Tim was apparently done with this conversation, and the fact that the ledge was barely big enough to hold just Tim, meant that he was seething, bat-brooding. Which usually wasn't good for Kon. He was glad when he finally heard Cassie's voice over the communicator, warning them that the target was approaching. Some small fry trying to hijack an armored car, it was explained. Should be easy work. This guy seemed like a complete-
"Idiot," he heard Tim mumble under his breath. Kon sighed again, knowing they were thinking of very different things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jesus Christ, Tim. It's just hair." Kon sighed as Tim tucked his costume into a duffle bag, pulling the zipper over the red and black outfit. Even though Robin- no RED Robin - was tucked safely away from the world, Kon could see him very clearly in Tim's unobscured eyes. Which meant his guard was still up. Which meant he was still mad.
"Is it?" In a single motion, Tim swung the bag over his shoulder, palmed the keys to the T-Jet and swept away. Kon allowed himself a moment to appreciate the grace at which Tim moved, even when his shoulders were stiff with anger.
"Yes. It is. Come on, I thought you'd be happy." As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew they were the wrong ones. Good job, old boy. Open mouth, insert...forget foot. He looks like he's about to start reaching for the kryptonite.
"Happy? Why would-" Tim stopped, placing a hand to his head, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Why does everybody seem to think I prefer blonds? Is it some kind of pheromone I give off?"
"Because-"
"DON'T," Tim said, turning to jam a finger in Kon's face, "say it. It wasn't funny the first time."
"Now, that's a matter of opinion," Kon joked, wrapping his fingers around Tim's wrist. He tugged it gently, trying to get his best-friend's attention. "Seriously, man, do you really hate it that much?"
Tim sighed, shoulders slumping a bit in defeat, though his frown was still evident. "I don't-" he paused, trying to gather his words carefully, "-understand. Why would you do something like this?"
Kon shrugged, releasing his hold on Tim. "I just...you know...thought we could go out...maybe...."
This time there was no mask to conceal the raised brow and the clear look of disbelief. "Mm hmm."
"Seriously!" Kon palmed the back of his neck, averting his eyes. "I just...you know...with Batman in town this weekend, the mean one, I mean, I just thought..."
Tim's expression softened and his bit at his lower lip. To anybody else, he would have seemed placid. But Kon knew that Tim was trying to hide a smile. Never let it be said that “the Kid” didn't seize opportunity, and Kon swept in quickly, helping Tim nibble the smile from his lips.
Tim sighed after a moment, giving into the kiss, allowing Kon this one small victory. Kon nudged at Tim with the tips of his tongue, gently sliding along his lower lip, across the smooth plain of ivory teeth. The next sigh granted him access and he tipped Tim's chin up with his hands, kissing him in apology, in friendship, in lust and love and every way he knew how; kissed him until he felt Tim fidget with a need to breathe.
He pulled back, relishing the sound it made as their mouths parted, adoring the gasping breaths Tim made through wet lips. Super-hearing was definitely awesome. He dropped his forehead against Tim’s, smiling down at him while pressing small, distracted kisses to his lips. He felt a hand on the back of his hair, pulling lightly before running fingers through it. If Kon was a cat, he would have purred.
“So,” Tim said, cocking his head to the side thoughtfully. “You did this for me?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“So we could go out?”
“That was the idea,” Kon said, groaning a bit at the sensation of Tim’s fingers against his scalp, tickling down the back of his neck.
“And you honestly thought this would fool Bruce?”
“Uh….” Kon stopped at the laugh he heard rumble in Tim’s chest.
“You really are an idiot,” Tim said, but there was no malice in his voice, no scolding, just a pure smile in his eyes. He laced his hands through Kon’s and gave a nudging pull. “Come on.”
“Where to?”
“My room. We’re going to dye your hair back to normal and then I’ll show you exactly why blonds DON’T have more fun.”
There was definitely a perk in having a boyfriend who was a know-it-all with a pension for proving his superior intellect, Kon mused. He ran a hand through his hair, hiding the smirk that threatened his lips as he was pulled along. God, he loved being an idiot.
By Tealgeezus
Characters/Pairings - Conner Kent/Tim Drake
Rating - G
Continuity - somewhere after Teen Titans 92.
Summery - Sometimes, Kon loved being an idiot…
Notes - After reading Tim’s extreme reaction in Robin 29, this was just something I felt I had to do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You've GOT to be kidding me...." For anybody else, Tim might just have seemed exasperated. But there was the faintest tick in his left eyebrow hidden beneath his cowl and a slight downturn of lips. To anybody else, it would seem subtle. But Kon knew better. Tim was PISSED.
"What? It doesn't look that bad, does it?" Kon tried to laugh it off, but he could feel the glare; it permeated him, settling uncomfortably between his shoulder blades. He was eternally grateful Tim didn't have something like heat vision at times like this.
Tim pulled back, visibly bristling. It wasn't in Tim's nature to be overtly mean or tactless for the sake of being mean and tactless. But it was obvious that he didn't approve. "It looks...."
"Awesome?" Kon finished for him, running a hand through his hair. "Come on, dude. You know what they say."
"A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned?"
"Huh? What's that mean?"
"It means you’re an idiot." Tim crossed his arms in front of his chest, his veiled eyes narrowing.
Kon waved off the statement and fixed Tim with what he knew was a winning smile. "No. They say 'blonds have more fun'."
Tim eyed Kon’s newly bleached hair like it was a festering alien on his head, about to crawl off and start the apocalypse. "Then they're idiots, too." With that, he hopped off the edge of the roof they were posted at, swinging to a small ledge on the adjacent building.
Kon sighed. Tim was apparently done with this conversation, and the fact that the ledge was barely big enough to hold just Tim, meant that he was seething, bat-brooding. Which usually wasn't good for Kon. He was glad when he finally heard Cassie's voice over the communicator, warning them that the target was approaching. Some small fry trying to hijack an armored car, it was explained. Should be easy work. This guy seemed like a complete-
"Idiot," he heard Tim mumble under his breath. Kon sighed again, knowing they were thinking of very different things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jesus Christ, Tim. It's just hair." Kon sighed as Tim tucked his costume into a duffle bag, pulling the zipper over the red and black outfit. Even though Robin- no RED Robin - was tucked safely away from the world, Kon could see him very clearly in Tim's unobscured eyes. Which meant his guard was still up. Which meant he was still mad.
"Is it?" In a single motion, Tim swung the bag over his shoulder, palmed the keys to the T-Jet and swept away. Kon allowed himself a moment to appreciate the grace at which Tim moved, even when his shoulders were stiff with anger.
"Yes. It is. Come on, I thought you'd be happy." As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew they were the wrong ones. Good job, old boy. Open mouth, insert...forget foot. He looks like he's about to start reaching for the kryptonite.
"Happy? Why would-" Tim stopped, placing a hand to his head, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Why does everybody seem to think I prefer blonds? Is it some kind of pheromone I give off?"
"Because-"
"DON'T," Tim said, turning to jam a finger in Kon's face, "say it. It wasn't funny the first time."
"Now, that's a matter of opinion," Kon joked, wrapping his fingers around Tim's wrist. He tugged it gently, trying to get his best-friend's attention. "Seriously, man, do you really hate it that much?"
Tim sighed, shoulders slumping a bit in defeat, though his frown was still evident. "I don't-" he paused, trying to gather his words carefully, "-understand. Why would you do something like this?"
Kon shrugged, releasing his hold on Tim. "I just...you know...thought we could go out...maybe...."
This time there was no mask to conceal the raised brow and the clear look of disbelief. "Mm hmm."
"Seriously!" Kon palmed the back of his neck, averting his eyes. "I just...you know...with Batman in town this weekend, the mean one, I mean, I just thought..."
Tim's expression softened and his bit at his lower lip. To anybody else, he would have seemed placid. But Kon knew that Tim was trying to hide a smile. Never let it be said that “the Kid” didn't seize opportunity, and Kon swept in quickly, helping Tim nibble the smile from his lips.
Tim sighed after a moment, giving into the kiss, allowing Kon this one small victory. Kon nudged at Tim with the tips of his tongue, gently sliding along his lower lip, across the smooth plain of ivory teeth. The next sigh granted him access and he tipped Tim's chin up with his hands, kissing him in apology, in friendship, in lust and love and every way he knew how; kissed him until he felt Tim fidget with a need to breathe.
He pulled back, relishing the sound it made as their mouths parted, adoring the gasping breaths Tim made through wet lips. Super-hearing was definitely awesome. He dropped his forehead against Tim’s, smiling down at him while pressing small, distracted kisses to his lips. He felt a hand on the back of his hair, pulling lightly before running fingers through it. If Kon was a cat, he would have purred.
“So,” Tim said, cocking his head to the side thoughtfully. “You did this for me?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“So we could go out?”
“That was the idea,” Kon said, groaning a bit at the sensation of Tim’s fingers against his scalp, tickling down the back of his neck.
“And you honestly thought this would fool Bruce?”
“Uh….” Kon stopped at the laugh he heard rumble in Tim’s chest.
“You really are an idiot,” Tim said, but there was no malice in his voice, no scolding, just a pure smile in his eyes. He laced his hands through Kon’s and gave a nudging pull. “Come on.”
“Where to?”
“My room. We’re going to dye your hair back to normal and then I’ll show you exactly why blonds DON’T have more fun.”
There was definitely a perk in having a boyfriend who was a know-it-all with a pension for proving his superior intellect, Kon mused. He ran a hand through his hair, hiding the smirk that threatened his lips as he was pulled along. God, he loved being an idiot.