Drabble
OH WHAT I DON'T KNOW. XDXD I felt like writing. ;;; Again. About what was going through Yukina's head when she was looking for Kougaiji. IT'S REALLY SLOPPY? XDXD
Yukina...
Always getting lost... always waiting to be found again...
I know this is probably going to hurt you and make you mad at me, but I don't think I can do it any other way.
Waiting for a family she had lost before she'd ever known them... waiting for release from the torture that haunted her dreams every night, the dead eyes that gazed at her reproachfully, wanting to know why she was so important, more important than their lives...
Waiting for someone to come along with the unwavering faith of an innocent child... and then waiting again, older this time, less innocent-- but still with that silent wish to be found, even as she hid herself (her self) away from the world.
Sanzo and I are going to try and break through the barrier and get off the island. You know why I have to get home. I have to try, and sooner is better than later. If we succeed in breaking through, I'll try to teleport us home right away, so there won't be time to say goodbye. That's why I'm going to give this letter to Ky and ask him to give it to you if I'm not back in a day or two.
Waiting for... what?
I know I'm being a coward by not saying goodbye to you, but it's entirely possible we'll fail, and then I would have put you through that for nothing. I've already hurt you enough.
Both times, he had found her. Both times, she had gazed up into the concerned violet eyes of her savior, the prince come to rescue the damsel in distress ("And he searched the land, every household for that one girl," Mia had told her, and Yukina had wondered if anyone would have gone to those lengths for her).
Who are you? She had thought as a child.
How did you find me? She had thought much later, as he pulled her into his lap and held her tightly.
Why? was their mutual thought. She was no Cinderella.
And I'm not sure I'd be able to leave if I had to tell you goodbye.
She had been angry after the words in his letter had registered. Furious-- at him, yes, but also at herself. It wasn't enough. Waiting wasn't enough this time. Was she just going to stay frozen like this, letting him walk away because this was apparently the most satisfactory way to say goodbye?
Had he really thought this would hurt her any less? If anything, it hurt more.
I will miss you. There are a lot of things about the island it would be easier to forget, but I want to remember them all, because forgetting the island would mean forgetting you.
Forgetting would be easier. Letting him walk away, letting him return to the life and the people that needed him... they both knew that was inevitable.
Forgiving was not as easy. He might forget, and that was fine. But Yukina would stay here and she would remember. She would remember deciding it was better this way and not chasing after him. His letter had told her everything; she ought to have been satisfied with that.
But words on a piece of paper held no sorrow, no heat, no strength or determination... all of the things that meant Kougaiji.
She wasn't satisfied at all. And forgiveness would never come if she did nothing about it. If she never told him...
You mean so much to me, much more than just a friend. I don't know how to tell you how much. Or maybe I do, and I'm just too scared to say it. But since this could be my only chance -
A stranger, an acquaintance, a brother, a friend... possibly a...
Yukina's hands clenched involuntarily.
The letter's next words rang out in her head without needing further prompting.
I love you. I don't know if that means as a friend or as a lover, but maybe in the end it doesn't really matter. I just know I love you.
She understood how Cinderella's prince had felt, desperately wanting to see the face of the one who had captured his heart, wanting to find her, not wanting it just to end with that sudden and silent goodbye and the quick departure from his palace-- and his life, leaving just a slipper in her wake.
Just a slipper.
Just a letter.
Yes, Yukina understood.
Except months were more substantial than a single night. This was no fairy tale. She hadn't been able to come to grips with her feelings in a split second. It had taken this long for her to realize, leaving her hardly any time to act.
But she couldn't wait. Not this time. Not anymore.
This time...
She would be the one to find him.
I'm sorry.
She ran.
Not a prince. Not a damsel in distress. Just Yukina.
But she found him anyway.
*dashes to class 8D*
Yukina...
Always getting lost... always waiting to be found again...
I know this is probably going to hurt you and make you mad at me, but I don't think I can do it any other way.
Waiting for a family she had lost before she'd ever known them... waiting for release from the torture that haunted her dreams every night, the dead eyes that gazed at her reproachfully, wanting to know why she was so important, more important than their lives...
Waiting for someone to come along with the unwavering faith of an innocent child... and then waiting again, older this time, less innocent-- but still with that silent wish to be found, even as she hid herself (her self) away from the world.
Sanzo and I are going to try and break through the barrier and get off the island. You know why I have to get home. I have to try, and sooner is better than later. If we succeed in breaking through, I'll try to teleport us home right away, so there won't be time to say goodbye. That's why I'm going to give this letter to Ky and ask him to give it to you if I'm not back in a day or two.
Waiting for... what?
I know I'm being a coward by not saying goodbye to you, but it's entirely possible we'll fail, and then I would have put you through that for nothing. I've already hurt you enough.
Both times, he had found her. Both times, she had gazed up into the concerned violet eyes of her savior, the prince come to rescue the damsel in distress ("And he searched the land, every household for that one girl," Mia had told her, and Yukina had wondered if anyone would have gone to those lengths for her).
Who are you? She had thought as a child.
How did you find me? She had thought much later, as he pulled her into his lap and held her tightly.
Why? was their mutual thought. She was no Cinderella.
And I'm not sure I'd be able to leave if I had to tell you goodbye.
She had been angry after the words in his letter had registered. Furious-- at him, yes, but also at herself. It wasn't enough. Waiting wasn't enough this time. Was she just going to stay frozen like this, letting him walk away because this was apparently the most satisfactory way to say goodbye?
Had he really thought this would hurt her any less? If anything, it hurt more.
I will miss you. There are a lot of things about the island it would be easier to forget, but I want to remember them all, because forgetting the island would mean forgetting you.
Forgetting would be easier. Letting him walk away, letting him return to the life and the people that needed him... they both knew that was inevitable.
Forgiving was not as easy. He might forget, and that was fine. But Yukina would stay here and she would remember. She would remember deciding it was better this way and not chasing after him. His letter had told her everything; she ought to have been satisfied with that.
But words on a piece of paper held no sorrow, no heat, no strength or determination... all of the things that meant Kougaiji.
She wasn't satisfied at all. And forgiveness would never come if she did nothing about it. If she never told him...
You mean so much to me, much more than just a friend. I don't know how to tell you how much. Or maybe I do, and I'm just too scared to say it. But since this could be my only chance -
A stranger, an acquaintance, a brother, a friend... possibly a...
Yukina's hands clenched involuntarily.
The letter's next words rang out in her head without needing further prompting.
I love you. I don't know if that means as a friend or as a lover, but maybe in the end it doesn't really matter. I just know I love you.
She understood how Cinderella's prince had felt, desperately wanting to see the face of the one who had captured his heart, wanting to find her, not wanting it just to end with that sudden and silent goodbye and the quick departure from his palace-- and his life, leaving just a slipper in her wake.
Just a slipper.
Just a letter.
Yes, Yukina understood.
Except months were more substantial than a single night. This was no fairy tale. She hadn't been able to come to grips with her feelings in a split second. It had taken this long for her to realize, leaving her hardly any time to act.
But she couldn't wait. Not this time. Not anymore.
This time...
She would be the one to find him.
I'm sorry.
She ran.
Not a prince. Not a damsel in distress. Just Yukina.
But she found him anyway.
*dashes to class 8D*