(no subject)
today wasnt bad until i came home.
when schools out i dont know what i'm going to do. i honestly dont think i'll do anything. i probably wont even be able to spend the night at friends houses and stuff. i dont know why, i just have this feeling it wont happen. i'd have people come here, but it's so unconfortable. it's just.. ugh. and oh nevermind i dont know. i just feel really stupid lately.
and as the summer's ending..
my mom came home and acted like she hadnt been gone for two days. i just shrugged and said hi or whatever, but i should have been nice because i need someone to take me to the mall to get jordaan's birthday present. fuck me. see why i feel stupid? yeah you do.
the cold air will brush your hard heart away..
i guess i'll still ask her. i know she'll make a huge deal about it, though. god. i can't stand it. i hate feeling like i'm going to cry every time i think about her. i never used to care, but now it's affecting me and i don't know why. i just want it to stop.
you were so condescending..
oh.. shit. i just got an email from devin. "janel i know you've been trying to avoid me. every time i try to talk to you, or be with you, you take off. i care a lot about you janel, but i need to know if you care about me. well what ever you do. take care." shit. well.. ugh. i feel so awful. i feel so bad for avoiding him. he's right.. god. i guess, i should tell him the truth. but i do care about him. so.. shit. i am so stupid when it comes to relationships. i need to learn to quit starting them. put ads around, "DONT DATE JANEL!"
so pack a change of clothes because it's time to move on..
funny how lyrics talk your thoughts before you even know what you're thinking. sometimes that makes me mad. i'd like to figure things out without it being pushed into my face. i don't know if you (whoever is reading this) has ever felt this way, it's like.. you want to be someone else, or maybe something else, like a dog, or something. or just to start over and be a baby. i don't know, i'm sure other people feel that way too. i'm just.. rambling. forgive me.
cup your mouth to compress the sound, skinny dippin with kids from a nearby town..
when schools out i dont know what i'm going to do. i honestly dont think i'll do anything. i probably wont even be able to spend the night at friends houses and stuff. i dont know why, i just have this feeling it wont happen. i'd have people come here, but it's so unconfortable. it's just.. ugh. and oh nevermind i dont know. i just feel really stupid lately.
and as the summer's ending..
my mom came home and acted like she hadnt been gone for two days. i just shrugged and said hi or whatever, but i should have been nice because i need someone to take me to the mall to get jordaan's birthday present. fuck me. see why i feel stupid? yeah you do.
the cold air will brush your hard heart away..
i guess i'll still ask her. i know she'll make a huge deal about it, though. god. i can't stand it. i hate feeling like i'm going to cry every time i think about her. i never used to care, but now it's affecting me and i don't know why. i just want it to stop.
you were so condescending..
oh.. shit. i just got an email from devin. "janel i know you've been trying to avoid me. every time i try to talk to you, or be with you, you take off. i care a lot about you janel, but i need to know if you care about me. well what ever you do. take care." shit. well.. ugh. i feel so awful. i feel so bad for avoiding him. he's right.. god. i guess, i should tell him the truth. but i do care about him. so.. shit. i am so stupid when it comes to relationships. i need to learn to quit starting them. put ads around, "DONT DATE JANEL!"
so pack a change of clothes because it's time to move on..
funny how lyrics talk your thoughts before you even know what you're thinking. sometimes that makes me mad. i'd like to figure things out without it being pushed into my face. i don't know if you (whoever is reading this) has ever felt this way, it's like.. you want to be someone else, or maybe something else, like a dog, or something. or just to start over and be a baby. i don't know, i'm sure other people feel that way too. i'm just.. rambling. forgive me.
cup your mouth to compress the sound, skinny dippin with kids from a nearby town..