Torchwood fic: Hope House 2/2
She wasn't exactly surprised to see Captain Harkness in the gardens again and again over the next couple of weeks. The arrival of spring seemed to have heralded an increased effort by him to be part of their community. She was now almost used to seeing that dark hair and bright smile next to Brother Jones, or talking to the students, bowed over a desk helping Sister Sato work out a planting schedule or even in the infirmary, baiting Brother Harper. It wasn't a development she'd welcomed, but she thought that they had reach a delicate equilibrium.
It was only when she realised that, on that particular morning, it was very early and that Harkness was heading out of the Order House that she began to worry. She headed for Brother Jones’s room, telling herself that she was being unfair. If she was wrong she would abandon, completely, this unworthy suspicion of Ianto. He was just coming out of his rooms as she rounded the corner and made the mistake of freezing when she called his name, keeping the door open. She strode over to him and peered into the room behind him. The bedding had been stripped and she could smell the heavy, musky air from inside the room. Brother Jones finally realised his mistake and closed the door behind him, but it was too late. She barely trusted herself to speak. She wanted to shake him, strike him, make him see everything that he was throwing away for a few moments pleasure with an untrustworthy, unprincipled, selfish man.
"Is this the first time?" Her voice sounded strange to her ears, almost like the Mother Superior on the few occasions Gwen had seen her truly angry. Was this what it meant to lead? All the anger of having to watch people you cared for make mistakes with no way to stop it.
"The first time for what, Sister Superior?" He looked shaken, but he met her eyes. He wasn't going to make it easy for her. She should ask, straight out; force him into either a confession or a lie, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, she found herself lifting one hand to cup his cheek.
"Oh, Ianto. Why couldn't you have talked to me about this? There was no need for you to struggle with this choice alone." He looked shocked, as well he might. She was shocked herself. Slowly, he raised his own hand to cover hers. The contact sent a jolt through her, bringing her back to her senses. She let her arm drop and moved away. "I never want to see or hear of anything like this happening again. Is that clear, Brother Jones?" She bit the words out then turned. She walked away, followed by the echo of the feeling of a larger hand covering her own and the sound of that cursed wind.
* * *
The sound of Faith's laughter drifted up to the window where Gwen was working. She ignored it for as long as she could, but when it was joined by the sound of the young General's voice she had no choice but to go to the window. Faith was perched on the edge of a fountain, flicking water at Luke as he studied in the gardens. Gwen watched as he walked over and retaliated, splashing Faith's hair and face. He laughed and sat next to her, pulling out a handkerchief to mop her face dry. Gwen sighed, she really would have to do something about them. The General was hardly likely to welcome news that his heir was involved with a girl like Faith.
Her eyes slid across to another unwelcome pair. Harkness was lounging against a wall as Brother Jones checked the harvesting bots. Since that morning a while ago she hadn't seen Harkness leaving the younger man's rooms, even though she had altered her morning route to pass by his room on the way to breakfast. Still, it was obvious that Brother Jones didn't intend to keep Harkness at arm’s length. She turned from the window and leant against the wall. She hadn't believed the Reverend Mother when she'd said that Gwen would be lonely here. Loneliness was something she thought she had left behind with the other sorrows of her past. But now, here in her office, burdened by the need to do her best for all those under her care she could admit that she was lonely. She could even, although only ever to herself, admit she was jealous, although whether over Ianto or Captain Harkness she couldn't have said. Smoothing her robes down she took a moment to compose herself. The Foundation Festival was only a matter of weeks away and there was plenty of work to be doing. Far too much for her to indulge foolishness like this.
* * *
Gwen stood at the front of her fellow initiates and for the first time in as long as she could remember she felt happy. She'd always loved Foundation Festival. The Working Orders, unlike many, did not celebrate landfall on the first human colony. Instead they celebrated the laying of the first foundation stone of what went on to become the finest off-world teaching hospital in existence. As they began to sing the First Song of Thanks Captain Harkness came in. She told herself that he was as entitled as anyone else to celebrate this day, and as he began to sing she had to admit that he had a good voice, strong and deep.
As the ceremony went on however, she realised that he was drunk. By the time the ceremony had finished she was fuming. She marched over to where he was standing, one arm slung around Brother Jones' shoulders.
"Ayeh," she called. "Captain Harkness will be leaving now. Please prepare a transport for him and see that he reaches the village in one piece." Harkness chose that moment to reach out to her, trying to pull her closer to him.
"What's wrong, Sister? You don't look particularly thankful." Grabbing the arm that was still stretched towards her she marched him outside.
"You are drunk. At a solemn ceremony. The most important that this Order has. Have you no shame?"
He leaned in close, "Not a bit, Sister." If he winked at her now she really was going to slap him.
“You are disgusting.” He smiled at her, not a nice smile. It was something sharp and painful, like broken glass.
“So easy for you, Sister, now you’ve run away from everything. No choices, no consequences. It must be nice being such a ‘superior’ being.”
Fortunately, Ayeh appeared at that moment and managed to strap Harkness into the transport. As Ayeh started to drive the vehicle down to the village, Gwen called after him.
"If you have any decency, any at all, you'll stay away from us. From all of us."
* * *
Brother Jones stared at her from across the desk. Gwen tried not to sigh. Their chat was not going well. She'd hoped that Harkness’ absence from Hope House since the festival would have eased the tension between her and Brother Jones, but if anything it seemed to have increased it.
"Are you well, Brother?"
"Well, Sister Superior? Of course." She was going to have to be blunt.
"Brother, I think lately you have been thinking too much of Captain Harkness. You must see what danger you are in, what you're throwing away for his sake." Brother Jones snorted.
" I think too much of him, Sister?" She didn't let herself rise to the bait.
"I wish you would talk to me about this." She walked round the desk to crouch next to him. "You must see. He is not a good man." She reached out to take his hand. "He is not a good man and you must take him for what he is, not think that he is something -- someone -- that he is not. I want you to write to the Reverend Mother. I won't read what you write, but you need her guidance."
Brother Jones pulled his hand away and sprang up from his seat. "Just like a naughty child, Sister Superior? How many pages should I write? Before or after dinner?" She forced herself to stay calm.
"You may go, Brother."
* * * “
Ayeh, do you have something you want to say.” Gwen has spent the past hour watching the woman pretend to clean her office and had finally reached the end of her patience.
“The girl, Sister, she’s trouble.” Gwen didn’t need to ask which girl Ayeh meant. She’d seen the other woman watch Faith with the young General.
“She’s no more trouble than Luke is, Ayeh. I know you’re loyal to the General and worried about what he’ll say but I am keeping an eye on things.”
“The General, pah!” Ayeh said. “I’m not worried about the General, why should he care about the stupid girl and that boy? I’m worried about myself.”
“Why wouldn’t the General care about his nephew, Ayeh?” Gwen asked, feeling a chill work it’s way up from the pit of her stomach.
“There have been nephews before, Sister. There was one before this boy and there will be one after. They never last long. They’re too weak for the General by themselves, but this one has the girl. As long as they’re both here, they’re trouble.”
“What do you mean?” Gwen asked. The other woman just looked at her, as though she were a particularly stupid child. “I thought you wanted me to help you, Ayeh?”
“Pah!” the old woman exclaimed.“What could you do? You don’t understand anything. I’ll help myself.” With that, Ayeh stomped out of the room, muttering as she went.
***
It took her a moment to work out what had woken her. She'd been napping in her office, something she'd started doing more and more. It seemed, lately, that she couldn't sleep for any length of time. She hated to blame the wind, but she did have to admit to herself that the eerie whistling it made was disturbing. It seemed that it was stronger now than it had been when they'd arrived. She would have asked one of the others if they'd noticed it too, but she knew that Sister Sato and Brother Harper both thought it was unnatural. Brother Jones was the only one who didn't seem disturbed by it, but she certainly couldn't confide in him. She realised, with the second wave of noise, that the sound was a baby wailing.
Pulling her robes straight she headed for the infirmary. She got there just in time to hear Brother Harper's final words before he stormed past her. His cry of "There's nothing we can do!" echoed in her mind as she took in the scene. One of the young women from the village was standing, nervously, next to a baby which was lying on the examining table. Sister Sato was standing on the other side of the table, tears in her eyes. Gwen drew her to a corner of the room.
"What's the matter?"
"It's the baby, it's really ill, but Brother Harper said there was nothing we could do; that she was dying and we just had to send her back home." She looked at Gwen as though expecting her to overrule the doctor. Gwen couldn't bring herself to look at the mother and child as she spoke.
"He was right, Sister Sato. If the child is dying there is nothing we can do to help and we can't risk being blamed for her death. I'm sorry, Sister, truly I am." And she really was, but she could not risk everything they had accomplished here for the sake of one child, no matter how much it tore at her heart.
* * *
Gwen checked her watch. It was well past the time lessons should have started and there were still no students. She rolled her eyes as Ayeh wandered into the room and looked around it with glee.
"Ayeh, what's happened to the students?" The old woman cackled.
"They're gone, Sister. They're gone, the young General's gone, Faith's gone. Everyone's gone except your Order. They're never coming back." "What do you mean?" Gwen said, stating to feel alarmed rather than annoyed. She walked down to the infirmary with Ayeh trailing behind her laughing. It was empty apart from Brothers Jones and Harper. She looked round, trying to think of an explanation. She was still trying when Sister Sato burst in.
"What's happening? None of the field workers have turned up."
"The baby died, that's what. Everyone thinks it was your fault." Ayeh seemed to enjoy giving them the news.
"Nonsense," Gwen said.
"The child was dying anyway, we did nothing." She heard Sister Sato's choked gasp from behind her and felt her heat sink.
"Sister Sato?"
"It's my fault," the other woman said, starting to cry. "I'm sorry, but it seemed to be in so much pain. I gave the mother some pain killers for it, not a dangerous dose just a little to take the edge off." Ayeh gave a triumphant laugh.
"Ayeh, stop that at once. Go down to the village and see what's happening."
"Oh no, I'm not going," the woman said. Gwen marched for the door.
"Sister, you can't go. It's too dangerous." They may have been the first words Brother Jones had spoken to her in a week and even in the midst of disaster she felt them warm her.
"I'm not going to the village," she said. He followed her outside, to the bell. She began to ring and he moved forward, helping her. She felt the wind, whipping at the exposed skin on her face. It really was the worst she'd know it since they arrived. Brother Jones had gone back inside to comfort Sister Sato when Harkness finally showed up.
"I'll see what I can find out. If there's going to be trouble I should get enough warning to get you out, but you need to be ready to run. It's not safe for you outside these grounds in any case."
"Run?" Gwen sank to a bench. After everything she'd done to try and keep Hope House going, the thought that they might have to abandon the mission after all was almost too much to bear.
* * *
She felt like a school mistress when she sent the others to bed straight after super, but with no word from Captain Harkness she had nothing to tell them; no way to reassure them, and she couldn't take much more of this. She tossed and turned for a while before giving up on sleep. Pulling a shawl around her shoulders she picked up a lantern and left her room. She crept, slowly, down the corridor, pausing outside each room. From Sister Sato's room she heard muffled sobbing, from Brother Harper's soft snores.
She paused outside Brother Jones’ room, thinking of the letter she'd received from the Reverend Mother just that morning. Brother Jones’ was not renewing his vows and despite her own misgivings about his suitability for a life in the Order she wished he wasn't leaving just yet. She could hear movement from inside the room so she knocked, softly. There was no reply and some instinct guided her to try the door; it was wedged shut. She knocked again, a little louder this time.
"Brother, open this door or I will wake the others." The door swung open and she stepped in. She almost gasped. Brother Jones was wearing, not the white robes of the order, but a suit. Some small, irreverent part of her mind noticed that it looked much better on him than the robes.
"Brother, what's going on?" "I'm leaving, tonight." She looked at him, he seemed almost feverish."Please, Brother -- Ianto, stop." He shook his head and made to walk past her, but she grabbed at his arm.
"Think of everything you're giving up. Please, stay for tonight. I'll wait with you."
"This isn’t about me at all, it's about him." She shook her head and squeezed his hand.
"You're wrong, Ianto." He looked at her for a long moment then sat on one side of the small table. Sighing with relief she sat on the other.
* * *
She jerked awake and looked around the room. Ianto was gone. Cursing she woke Brother Harper and Sister Sato and set them to searching the house. Quickly she dressed and ran outside. She knew where Ianto was going. She slowed slightly as she reached the path down to the village, it wouldn't help anyone if she broke her neck and the wind was blowing dust and leaves and stones into her face making it difficult to see. Once the ground began to level off she picked up her pace.
She'd only been to the village on a handful of occasions, but the Captain’s house was easy to find as it was set apart from the others. She slowed once more. Ianto seemed out of his mind and she didn't want to startle him in case he did something foolish. She crept up to the house, following the sound of voices. It was easy enough to work out which room they were in and luckily the window was surrounded by plants, allowing her to conceal herself.
"But I love you," she heard Ianto say and her heart broke a little for him.
"I'm sorry, really sorry, but whatever you think what happened between us meant, it wasn't that." Harkness was facing away from Ianto, she could see his face although the other man could not. There did seem to be real sorrow there, something she wouldn't have expected from the man.
"Go back to Hope House, back to Sister Cooper. She's your friend, she can help you."
"Never," Ianto said. Gwen had never seen that expression on his face before. It was almost as if something else was speaking through him. "Never!" he shouted before he l collapsed. Captain Harkness managed to catch him before he hit the floor and laid him in a chair. He turned to the window.
"Ianto's out cold, Sister. You can stop hiding." She stood and walked round to the front door, hoping it would give her enough time for her blush to subside. Captain Harkness let her in and she followed him back to the sitting room.
"Brother Jones may be leaving the order, but I still have a duty towards him." She didn't know why she was explaining herself to this man.
"I know. Got to keep him away from the monsters, right?" There was something bitter in his tone and a look on his face as he smoothed Ianto's hair that in another man she would have called tenderness. She had a sudden uncomfortable sense that Harkness may not have been telling the truth earlier when he'd told the younger man he meant nothing.
"Captain Har -- Jack." He looked up at her use of his first name. "Ianto needs more time before he is ready to face the world again. He is not made for your sort of life."
Jack snorted. "No one is made for my sort of life, Sister. But you're wrong about him. He's a lot stronger than you think he is." She looked down at drawn, waxy features. Who was she to say if Jack was wrong or right. "Maybe so; I have been mistaken about things in the past."
Jack was looking at her quizzically and suddenly she felt words bubbling up, like a newly discovered spring. "Before I joined the order, I loved a man. I loved him very much, but in the end I hurt him terribly." "What happened?" "I loved him, but I loved the stars as well. The universe seemed so big and I couldn't bear the thought of staying in one place forever. He wanted to marry me and I wanted to marry him too, but I couldn't agree to stay forever and he would never have left. Then, once it was over I found I couldn't stay at all. It was a small town and once everyone knew there was no room for me in it." She was horrified to feel tears scalding her cheeks. "All that pain. I thought I'd left it so far behind me, but it was waiting here all the time." She felt the weight of his arm across her shoulders, drawing her closer to him, but she kept her eyes focused on Ianto. "So you see, I might be wrong about him, but I know how easy it can be to hurt someone, even someone you love very much." Jack twisted her head so she was facing him.
"Go home, Sister. I swear I'll send him back to you." She was still looking into his eyes when he leant in and pressed a kiss to her lips. She rose, unsteady on her feet, and headed back to the door.
"Do you promise to send him back?" She paused on the threshold, needing to check one more time.
"I promise."
* * *
By sunrise she was cursing herself, Captain Harkness, the Reverend Mother, Ianto and anyone else who crossed her mind. She should never have listened to Harkness' promises; there was still no sign of Ianto. As though summoned by her thoughts, Harkness himself appeared, alone, running up to the house. She marched out to meet him. If anything had happened to Ianto--
"Where is he?" Harkness asked, before she could speak. He looked worried and she was sure she looked the same. The wind picked up suddenly and the rest of what he had to say was lost amid the howling. Even the sound of the bell starting to chime was nearly lost. Nearly, but not quite. She pointed with horror to the bell. She didn't bother speaking, the words would have been lost on the wind. Jack turned to follow the line of her arm. Ianto was standing at the edge of the cliff, struggling to stay upright against the wind. Jack leaned close, close enough that she could feel the warm breath from his mouth on her ear, even amid the storm.
"Stay here," he shouted. "I'm going up." He turned and ran towards the tower.
Not a chance she thought, lifting the hem of her robes to allow her to run more easily. Even so, she could not keep pace with him. By the time she reached him he had managed to fix some sort of clamps onto the bell's frame. She felt the wind knock her forward and he caught her just in time. He had her and Ianto encircled in his arms he was clinging on to the clamps for dear life.
"Hold on," he yelled, as another gust of wind threatened to send them all over the edge. She gripped hold of the clamp nearest to her. Ianto looked dazed, but even as she watched, he seemed to come back to himself.
"Jack, what's happening?" She could see Jack's laughter as he bent to kiss the other man. Once he raised his head, Gwen also pressed a kiss to Ianto's mouth. All three of them looked at each other, smiling, and Gwen almost forgot how precarious their situation was until she the wind slammed her against the stone pillar holding the bell.
"What is going on?" she shouted.
"I realised after Ianto left last night. He insisted on coming back by himself. It seemed odd and then I thought of all the other odd things that had happened since the General decided to open this house again. It took me a while to confirm my suspicions though; that's why I wasn't here sooner."
"But what did you suspect?" Gwen asked.
"The bell, it's not a bell at all. It's a seal. While there are people here, the seal will imprint on one person and use them to channel vast amounts of energy. If they die the seal is broken and all hell breaks loose. The General found a way to amplify all your emotions, all your memories, to weaken the seal and cause that death."
"The person is me?" Ianto asked.
“It wasn’t meant to be. It was supposed to the boy, Luke. Him and Faith, but the General misjudged it. He thought throwing them together would speed up the process but he didn’t count on their feelings being strong enough that they’d run away together. Once they were gone the someone else had to take Luke’s place and there wasn’t time for the General to find a new ‘heir’ who would generate enough emotional energy.”
"What do we do?" Gwen wasn't going to let that happen, no matter what.
"Hold on."
"For what?" Gwen hoped there was more to this plan that hold on.
"For that," Jack said as the bell tore free from its support and tumbled down the cliff. In the sudden calm the sound seemed to echo through Gwen's very bones.
"If the General was trying to break the seal, isn't that a bad thing? It looks pretty broken to me," Ianto said.
"The bell is just the physical manifestation of the seal. When the seal was made there had to be something, but now the seal itself has destroyed its physical reality, it's safer than ever." Gwen looked at Ianto to see if he understood the explanation any better than she did. She saw his lips twitch a moment before she burst out laughing herself.
* * *
Sister Sato and Brother Harper were loading crates onto the transport ready for their journey back to the spaceport. She sighed and took one last look around at Hope House. The old General hadn't been seen since the bell broke and the new General and Faith had offered her the continued use of the house, but she couldn't stay.
"I suppose this is goodbye," a voice said behind her. She turned to see Ianto, suited again, rather than robed.
"I suppose so." She knew his mind was made up, but she couldn't help making one last attempt to keep him with her.
"Where will you go?" He smiled over her shoulder as Jack Harkness walked past her to sling one arm around Ianto's shoulder.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Ianto?" she asked. Jack had been a better friend to them than she had first thought, but she wasn't foolish enough to believe that a short burst of heroics cancelled out the less appealing parts of his personality. But maybe Ianto understood that better than she had thought, because he smiled at her, a little ruefully.
"Do any of us ever really know, Gwen?" She stepped towards them and they enfolded her in a hug. Everything she felt, for both of them, crystallised into one bright, sharp moment of love and longing and then she stepped back.
"Take care," she said, managing to get the words out without crying, before Ianto pulled her against him, into a searing kiss. Her hands came up to clutch at his shoulders and she leant in, parting her lips and deepening the kiss. This was madness and it was only going to make the separation more painful in the end, but that didn't stop her from wanting it.
Jack cleared his throat. "Our transport leaves in half an hour." Reluctantly, she let go of Ianto and stepped back. The two men exchanged a look and then Jack held out his hand.
"There's room for one more." This really was madness. She gave them a week, at most, before they were at each other's throats. All the warnings she'd given Ianto, everything she'd told him he would be giving up went double for her. Still, as she clasped Jack's hand in hers, Ianto's resting on top of them both, she felt oddly like she was coming home.
It was only when she realised that, on that particular morning, it was very early and that Harkness was heading out of the Order House that she began to worry. She headed for Brother Jones’s room, telling herself that she was being unfair. If she was wrong she would abandon, completely, this unworthy suspicion of Ianto. He was just coming out of his rooms as she rounded the corner and made the mistake of freezing when she called his name, keeping the door open. She strode over to him and peered into the room behind him. The bedding had been stripped and she could smell the heavy, musky air from inside the room. Brother Jones finally realised his mistake and closed the door behind him, but it was too late. She barely trusted herself to speak. She wanted to shake him, strike him, make him see everything that he was throwing away for a few moments pleasure with an untrustworthy, unprincipled, selfish man.
"Is this the first time?" Her voice sounded strange to her ears, almost like the Mother Superior on the few occasions Gwen had seen her truly angry. Was this what it meant to lead? All the anger of having to watch people you cared for make mistakes with no way to stop it.
"The first time for what, Sister Superior?" He looked shaken, but he met her eyes. He wasn't going to make it easy for her. She should ask, straight out; force him into either a confession or a lie, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, she found herself lifting one hand to cup his cheek.
"Oh, Ianto. Why couldn't you have talked to me about this? There was no need for you to struggle with this choice alone." He looked shocked, as well he might. She was shocked herself. Slowly, he raised his own hand to cover hers. The contact sent a jolt through her, bringing her back to her senses. She let her arm drop and moved away. "I never want to see or hear of anything like this happening again. Is that clear, Brother Jones?" She bit the words out then turned. She walked away, followed by the echo of the feeling of a larger hand covering her own and the sound of that cursed wind.
* * *
The sound of Faith's laughter drifted up to the window where Gwen was working. She ignored it for as long as she could, but when it was joined by the sound of the young General's voice she had no choice but to go to the window. Faith was perched on the edge of a fountain, flicking water at Luke as he studied in the gardens. Gwen watched as he walked over and retaliated, splashing Faith's hair and face. He laughed and sat next to her, pulling out a handkerchief to mop her face dry. Gwen sighed, she really would have to do something about them. The General was hardly likely to welcome news that his heir was involved with a girl like Faith.
Her eyes slid across to another unwelcome pair. Harkness was lounging against a wall as Brother Jones checked the harvesting bots. Since that morning a while ago she hadn't seen Harkness leaving the younger man's rooms, even though she had altered her morning route to pass by his room on the way to breakfast. Still, it was obvious that Brother Jones didn't intend to keep Harkness at arm’s length. She turned from the window and leant against the wall. She hadn't believed the Reverend Mother when she'd said that Gwen would be lonely here. Loneliness was something she thought she had left behind with the other sorrows of her past. But now, here in her office, burdened by the need to do her best for all those under her care she could admit that she was lonely. She could even, although only ever to herself, admit she was jealous, although whether over Ianto or Captain Harkness she couldn't have said. Smoothing her robes down she took a moment to compose herself. The Foundation Festival was only a matter of weeks away and there was plenty of work to be doing. Far too much for her to indulge foolishness like this.
* * *
Gwen stood at the front of her fellow initiates and for the first time in as long as she could remember she felt happy. She'd always loved Foundation Festival. The Working Orders, unlike many, did not celebrate landfall on the first human colony. Instead they celebrated the laying of the first foundation stone of what went on to become the finest off-world teaching hospital in existence. As they began to sing the First Song of Thanks Captain Harkness came in. She told herself that he was as entitled as anyone else to celebrate this day, and as he began to sing she had to admit that he had a good voice, strong and deep.
As the ceremony went on however, she realised that he was drunk. By the time the ceremony had finished she was fuming. She marched over to where he was standing, one arm slung around Brother Jones' shoulders.
"Ayeh," she called. "Captain Harkness will be leaving now. Please prepare a transport for him and see that he reaches the village in one piece." Harkness chose that moment to reach out to her, trying to pull her closer to him.
"What's wrong, Sister? You don't look particularly thankful." Grabbing the arm that was still stretched towards her she marched him outside.
"You are drunk. At a solemn ceremony. The most important that this Order has. Have you no shame?"
He leaned in close, "Not a bit, Sister." If he winked at her now she really was going to slap him.
“You are disgusting.” He smiled at her, not a nice smile. It was something sharp and painful, like broken glass.
“So easy for you, Sister, now you’ve run away from everything. No choices, no consequences. It must be nice being such a ‘superior’ being.”
Fortunately, Ayeh appeared at that moment and managed to strap Harkness into the transport. As Ayeh started to drive the vehicle down to the village, Gwen called after him.
"If you have any decency, any at all, you'll stay away from us. From all of us."
* * *
Brother Jones stared at her from across the desk. Gwen tried not to sigh. Their chat was not going well. She'd hoped that Harkness’ absence from Hope House since the festival would have eased the tension between her and Brother Jones, but if anything it seemed to have increased it.
"Are you well, Brother?"
"Well, Sister Superior? Of course." She was going to have to be blunt.
"Brother, I think lately you have been thinking too much of Captain Harkness. You must see what danger you are in, what you're throwing away for his sake." Brother Jones snorted.
" I think too much of him, Sister?" She didn't let herself rise to the bait.
"I wish you would talk to me about this." She walked round the desk to crouch next to him. "You must see. He is not a good man." She reached out to take his hand. "He is not a good man and you must take him for what he is, not think that he is something -- someone -- that he is not. I want you to write to the Reverend Mother. I won't read what you write, but you need her guidance."
Brother Jones pulled his hand away and sprang up from his seat. "Just like a naughty child, Sister Superior? How many pages should I write? Before or after dinner?" She forced herself to stay calm.
"You may go, Brother."
* * * “
Ayeh, do you have something you want to say.” Gwen has spent the past hour watching the woman pretend to clean her office and had finally reached the end of her patience.
“The girl, Sister, she’s trouble.” Gwen didn’t need to ask which girl Ayeh meant. She’d seen the other woman watch Faith with the young General.
“She’s no more trouble than Luke is, Ayeh. I know you’re loyal to the General and worried about what he’ll say but I am keeping an eye on things.”
“The General, pah!” Ayeh said. “I’m not worried about the General, why should he care about the stupid girl and that boy? I’m worried about myself.”
“Why wouldn’t the General care about his nephew, Ayeh?” Gwen asked, feeling a chill work it’s way up from the pit of her stomach.
“There have been nephews before, Sister. There was one before this boy and there will be one after. They never last long. They’re too weak for the General by themselves, but this one has the girl. As long as they’re both here, they’re trouble.”
“What do you mean?” Gwen asked. The other woman just looked at her, as though she were a particularly stupid child. “I thought you wanted me to help you, Ayeh?”
“Pah!” the old woman exclaimed.“What could you do? You don’t understand anything. I’ll help myself.” With that, Ayeh stomped out of the room, muttering as she went.
***
It took her a moment to work out what had woken her. She'd been napping in her office, something she'd started doing more and more. It seemed, lately, that she couldn't sleep for any length of time. She hated to blame the wind, but she did have to admit to herself that the eerie whistling it made was disturbing. It seemed that it was stronger now than it had been when they'd arrived. She would have asked one of the others if they'd noticed it too, but she knew that Sister Sato and Brother Harper both thought it was unnatural. Brother Jones was the only one who didn't seem disturbed by it, but she certainly couldn't confide in him. She realised, with the second wave of noise, that the sound was a baby wailing.
Pulling her robes straight she headed for the infirmary. She got there just in time to hear Brother Harper's final words before he stormed past her. His cry of "There's nothing we can do!" echoed in her mind as she took in the scene. One of the young women from the village was standing, nervously, next to a baby which was lying on the examining table. Sister Sato was standing on the other side of the table, tears in her eyes. Gwen drew her to a corner of the room.
"What's the matter?"
"It's the baby, it's really ill, but Brother Harper said there was nothing we could do; that she was dying and we just had to send her back home." She looked at Gwen as though expecting her to overrule the doctor. Gwen couldn't bring herself to look at the mother and child as she spoke.
"He was right, Sister Sato. If the child is dying there is nothing we can do to help and we can't risk being blamed for her death. I'm sorry, Sister, truly I am." And she really was, but she could not risk everything they had accomplished here for the sake of one child, no matter how much it tore at her heart.
* * *
Gwen checked her watch. It was well past the time lessons should have started and there were still no students. She rolled her eyes as Ayeh wandered into the room and looked around it with glee.
"Ayeh, what's happened to the students?" The old woman cackled.
"They're gone, Sister. They're gone, the young General's gone, Faith's gone. Everyone's gone except your Order. They're never coming back." "What do you mean?" Gwen said, stating to feel alarmed rather than annoyed. She walked down to the infirmary with Ayeh trailing behind her laughing. It was empty apart from Brothers Jones and Harper. She looked round, trying to think of an explanation. She was still trying when Sister Sato burst in.
"What's happening? None of the field workers have turned up."
"The baby died, that's what. Everyone thinks it was your fault." Ayeh seemed to enjoy giving them the news.
"Nonsense," Gwen said.
"The child was dying anyway, we did nothing." She heard Sister Sato's choked gasp from behind her and felt her heat sink.
"Sister Sato?"
"It's my fault," the other woman said, starting to cry. "I'm sorry, but it seemed to be in so much pain. I gave the mother some pain killers for it, not a dangerous dose just a little to take the edge off." Ayeh gave a triumphant laugh.
"Ayeh, stop that at once. Go down to the village and see what's happening."
"Oh no, I'm not going," the woman said. Gwen marched for the door.
"Sister, you can't go. It's too dangerous." They may have been the first words Brother Jones had spoken to her in a week and even in the midst of disaster she felt them warm her.
"I'm not going to the village," she said. He followed her outside, to the bell. She began to ring and he moved forward, helping her. She felt the wind, whipping at the exposed skin on her face. It really was the worst she'd know it since they arrived. Brother Jones had gone back inside to comfort Sister Sato when Harkness finally showed up.
"I'll see what I can find out. If there's going to be trouble I should get enough warning to get you out, but you need to be ready to run. It's not safe for you outside these grounds in any case."
"Run?" Gwen sank to a bench. After everything she'd done to try and keep Hope House going, the thought that they might have to abandon the mission after all was almost too much to bear.
* * *
She felt like a school mistress when she sent the others to bed straight after super, but with no word from Captain Harkness she had nothing to tell them; no way to reassure them, and she couldn't take much more of this. She tossed and turned for a while before giving up on sleep. Pulling a shawl around her shoulders she picked up a lantern and left her room. She crept, slowly, down the corridor, pausing outside each room. From Sister Sato's room she heard muffled sobbing, from Brother Harper's soft snores.
She paused outside Brother Jones’ room, thinking of the letter she'd received from the Reverend Mother just that morning. Brother Jones’ was not renewing his vows and despite her own misgivings about his suitability for a life in the Order she wished he wasn't leaving just yet. She could hear movement from inside the room so she knocked, softly. There was no reply and some instinct guided her to try the door; it was wedged shut. She knocked again, a little louder this time.
"Brother, open this door or I will wake the others." The door swung open and she stepped in. She almost gasped. Brother Jones was wearing, not the white robes of the order, but a suit. Some small, irreverent part of her mind noticed that it looked much better on him than the robes.
"Brother, what's going on?" "I'm leaving, tonight." She looked at him, he seemed almost feverish."Please, Brother -- Ianto, stop." He shook his head and made to walk past her, but she grabbed at his arm.
"Think of everything you're giving up. Please, stay for tonight. I'll wait with you."
"This isn’t about me at all, it's about him." She shook her head and squeezed his hand.
"You're wrong, Ianto." He looked at her for a long moment then sat on one side of the small table. Sighing with relief she sat on the other.
* * *
She jerked awake and looked around the room. Ianto was gone. Cursing she woke Brother Harper and Sister Sato and set them to searching the house. Quickly she dressed and ran outside. She knew where Ianto was going. She slowed slightly as she reached the path down to the village, it wouldn't help anyone if she broke her neck and the wind was blowing dust and leaves and stones into her face making it difficult to see. Once the ground began to level off she picked up her pace.
She'd only been to the village on a handful of occasions, but the Captain’s house was easy to find as it was set apart from the others. She slowed once more. Ianto seemed out of his mind and she didn't want to startle him in case he did something foolish. She crept up to the house, following the sound of voices. It was easy enough to work out which room they were in and luckily the window was surrounded by plants, allowing her to conceal herself.
"But I love you," she heard Ianto say and her heart broke a little for him.
"I'm sorry, really sorry, but whatever you think what happened between us meant, it wasn't that." Harkness was facing away from Ianto, she could see his face although the other man could not. There did seem to be real sorrow there, something she wouldn't have expected from the man.
"Go back to Hope House, back to Sister Cooper. She's your friend, she can help you."
"Never," Ianto said. Gwen had never seen that expression on his face before. It was almost as if something else was speaking through him. "Never!" he shouted before he l collapsed. Captain Harkness managed to catch him before he hit the floor and laid him in a chair. He turned to the window.
"Ianto's out cold, Sister. You can stop hiding." She stood and walked round to the front door, hoping it would give her enough time for her blush to subside. Captain Harkness let her in and she followed him back to the sitting room.
"Brother Jones may be leaving the order, but I still have a duty towards him." She didn't know why she was explaining herself to this man.
"I know. Got to keep him away from the monsters, right?" There was something bitter in his tone and a look on his face as he smoothed Ianto's hair that in another man she would have called tenderness. She had a sudden uncomfortable sense that Harkness may not have been telling the truth earlier when he'd told the younger man he meant nothing.
"Captain Har -- Jack." He looked up at her use of his first name. "Ianto needs more time before he is ready to face the world again. He is not made for your sort of life."
Jack snorted. "No one is made for my sort of life, Sister. But you're wrong about him. He's a lot stronger than you think he is." She looked down at drawn, waxy features. Who was she to say if Jack was wrong or right. "Maybe so; I have been mistaken about things in the past."
Jack was looking at her quizzically and suddenly she felt words bubbling up, like a newly discovered spring. "Before I joined the order, I loved a man. I loved him very much, but in the end I hurt him terribly." "What happened?" "I loved him, but I loved the stars as well. The universe seemed so big and I couldn't bear the thought of staying in one place forever. He wanted to marry me and I wanted to marry him too, but I couldn't agree to stay forever and he would never have left. Then, once it was over I found I couldn't stay at all. It was a small town and once everyone knew there was no room for me in it." She was horrified to feel tears scalding her cheeks. "All that pain. I thought I'd left it so far behind me, but it was waiting here all the time." She felt the weight of his arm across her shoulders, drawing her closer to him, but she kept her eyes focused on Ianto. "So you see, I might be wrong about him, but I know how easy it can be to hurt someone, even someone you love very much." Jack twisted her head so she was facing him.
"Go home, Sister. I swear I'll send him back to you." She was still looking into his eyes when he leant in and pressed a kiss to her lips. She rose, unsteady on her feet, and headed back to the door.
"Do you promise to send him back?" She paused on the threshold, needing to check one more time.
"I promise."
* * *
By sunrise she was cursing herself, Captain Harkness, the Reverend Mother, Ianto and anyone else who crossed her mind. She should never have listened to Harkness' promises; there was still no sign of Ianto. As though summoned by her thoughts, Harkness himself appeared, alone, running up to the house. She marched out to meet him. If anything had happened to Ianto--
"Where is he?" Harkness asked, before she could speak. He looked worried and she was sure she looked the same. The wind picked up suddenly and the rest of what he had to say was lost amid the howling. Even the sound of the bell starting to chime was nearly lost. Nearly, but not quite. She pointed with horror to the bell. She didn't bother speaking, the words would have been lost on the wind. Jack turned to follow the line of her arm. Ianto was standing at the edge of the cliff, struggling to stay upright against the wind. Jack leaned close, close enough that she could feel the warm breath from his mouth on her ear, even amid the storm.
"Stay here," he shouted. "I'm going up." He turned and ran towards the tower.
Not a chance she thought, lifting the hem of her robes to allow her to run more easily. Even so, she could not keep pace with him. By the time she reached him he had managed to fix some sort of clamps onto the bell's frame. She felt the wind knock her forward and he caught her just in time. He had her and Ianto encircled in his arms he was clinging on to the clamps for dear life.
"Hold on," he yelled, as another gust of wind threatened to send them all over the edge. She gripped hold of the clamp nearest to her. Ianto looked dazed, but even as she watched, he seemed to come back to himself.
"Jack, what's happening?" She could see Jack's laughter as he bent to kiss the other man. Once he raised his head, Gwen also pressed a kiss to Ianto's mouth. All three of them looked at each other, smiling, and Gwen almost forgot how precarious their situation was until she the wind slammed her against the stone pillar holding the bell.
"What is going on?" she shouted.
"I realised after Ianto left last night. He insisted on coming back by himself. It seemed odd and then I thought of all the other odd things that had happened since the General decided to open this house again. It took me a while to confirm my suspicions though; that's why I wasn't here sooner."
"But what did you suspect?" Gwen asked.
"The bell, it's not a bell at all. It's a seal. While there are people here, the seal will imprint on one person and use them to channel vast amounts of energy. If they die the seal is broken and all hell breaks loose. The General found a way to amplify all your emotions, all your memories, to weaken the seal and cause that death."
"The person is me?" Ianto asked.
“It wasn’t meant to be. It was supposed to the boy, Luke. Him and Faith, but the General misjudged it. He thought throwing them together would speed up the process but he didn’t count on their feelings being strong enough that they’d run away together. Once they were gone the someone else had to take Luke’s place and there wasn’t time for the General to find a new ‘heir’ who would generate enough emotional energy.”
"What do we do?" Gwen wasn't going to let that happen, no matter what.
"Hold on."
"For what?" Gwen hoped there was more to this plan that hold on.
"For that," Jack said as the bell tore free from its support and tumbled down the cliff. In the sudden calm the sound seemed to echo through Gwen's very bones.
"If the General was trying to break the seal, isn't that a bad thing? It looks pretty broken to me," Ianto said.
"The bell is just the physical manifestation of the seal. When the seal was made there had to be something, but now the seal itself has destroyed its physical reality, it's safer than ever." Gwen looked at Ianto to see if he understood the explanation any better than she did. She saw his lips twitch a moment before she burst out laughing herself.
* * *
Sister Sato and Brother Harper were loading crates onto the transport ready for their journey back to the spaceport. She sighed and took one last look around at Hope House. The old General hadn't been seen since the bell broke and the new General and Faith had offered her the continued use of the house, but she couldn't stay.
"I suppose this is goodbye," a voice said behind her. She turned to see Ianto, suited again, rather than robed.
"I suppose so." She knew his mind was made up, but she couldn't help making one last attempt to keep him with her.
"Where will you go?" He smiled over her shoulder as Jack Harkness walked past her to sling one arm around Ianto's shoulder.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Ianto?" she asked. Jack had been a better friend to them than she had first thought, but she wasn't foolish enough to believe that a short burst of heroics cancelled out the less appealing parts of his personality. But maybe Ianto understood that better than she had thought, because he smiled at her, a little ruefully.
"Do any of us ever really know, Gwen?" She stepped towards them and they enfolded her in a hug. Everything she felt, for both of them, crystallised into one bright, sharp moment of love and longing and then she stepped back.
"Take care," she said, managing to get the words out without crying, before Ianto pulled her against him, into a searing kiss. Her hands came up to clutch at his shoulders and she leant in, parting her lips and deepening the kiss. This was madness and it was only going to make the separation more painful in the end, but that didn't stop her from wanting it.
Jack cleared his throat. "Our transport leaves in half an hour." Reluctantly, she let go of Ianto and stepped back. The two men exchanged a look and then Jack held out his hand.
"There's room for one more." This really was madness. She gave them a week, at most, before they were at each other's throats. All the warnings she'd given Ianto, everything she'd told him he would be giving up went double for her. Still, as she clasped Jack's hand in hers, Ianto's resting on top of them both, she felt oddly like she was coming home.