Comments | tearswill_fall: Depressed

tearswill_fall

Depressed

Nov 29, 2003 20:50

Wow. I feel like crap. And what better place to vent than here. I don't understand how I could look like this. Why? I can barely stand to look at myself. I'm too fat, too short, my hair is too frizzy, my skin is too fucked up, my eyes are dull, and my wrists now have scars. Great. Why couldn't I look like Gisele or Tyra Banks, or Kate Moss. :: ( Read more... )

Comments 9

U need a holiday anonymous November 30 2003, 13:38:00 UTC

Dude, you're beautiful and skinny and NOT too short. U needa love urself. Actually, that's kinda hypocritcal of me to say, b/c i dont like myself too much either. But cutting urself isnt too good 4 u. Mayb u should get a dog or consider an exchange program. U know, just to get out of that rut.

-Maya

Re: U need a holiday tearswill_fall November 30 2003, 15:59:20 UTC

Thanx Maya. And I like the foreign exchange idea, my friend is spending her sophmore year an hour outside of Paris. But the problem is next year is the most important and then senior year is going to be so easy anyway, I sorta missed my chance. Plus, since I don't speak french [yet] I would have to go to London which I'm not quite as fond of. Ever been? It's all right, the people are really great though. You have xanga right? Which do you like more? Just wondering. See you soon!

Re: U need a holiday anonymous December 1 2003, 18:13:29 UTC

Cool. I'd go to France to learn the language just b/c itll be easier to pick it up that way. My cousin Josh is going on this REALLY cool exchange program next year. He's going in a group w/ friends, but they are all gonna stay w/ different families. What happens is they stay in France, go to a French school, and do work with the English teacher after classes. Then they go into english class and know EVERYTHING (sooo coool, right? I wanna do that). So you're on your own, yet in a group. It sounds like SO much fun. I wish I could go with him, but I think it costs a lot. I've never been to France myself, but I want to go to Spain one day. My Spanish teacher has been to Europe a lot and she says that European boys think that American girls are easy and sexually liberaly, do if you go act like a prude...lol. Look into it.
-Maya

All ThE SamE... tearswill_fall December 1 2003, 20:37:50 UTC

The exchange program does sound cool. I might do something similar to that over the summer in Paris. Not a lot of European guys think American girls are easy, at least in my experience, but a lot of australian guys thought that and when my friend was in Egypt with a group, she said they needed body guards because all these really young boys, some as young as 11, were treating them like prostitutes. I mean, European guys are just like American guys- some are creeps, others are great (Mitch!), the only real difference is they tend to be better dressed.

Thread 5

Hey, it's Alex anonymous November 30 2003, 16:48:52 UTC

Amanda Amanda, how it hurts me to hear you say such things about yourself! Not because it is bad to be either fat, (I was once) or short (I always will be VERY short) or to have bad skin (what can I say?). The problem is that you feel negatively about yourself, and these are the visible manifestations that are condemned in society, so regardless of how false they may be, you project those negative ideas onto yourself, because the problem is that, like Maya said, you have to learn to love who YOU are, and that is not what you see in the mirror. Models like those that you mentioned, and all sorts of other celebrities, from actors/actresses to singers, etc., many of them are such terrible people to know. Who cares how beautiful they may look physically if they're vile and rotten inside? When you can see beyond the exterior facade, and realize how beautiful you truly are as a person, only then will you be able to see and appreciate your physical beauty. And no matter how many people tell you how gorgeous you are, you will never be able to ( ... )

Re: Hey, it's Alex tearswill_fall November 30 2003, 21:06:23 UTC

I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't even say what I said for attention, though I know some of the things I've done to hurt myself in the past have been cries for help. Pitiful I know. I just keep thinking that if I say what I'm feeling outloud, maybe some of the weight will be lifted. Still hasn't happened yet I keep trying. I try to feel good about myself, but I see nothing to like. I'm still shocked every time the phone rings because I honestly don't know why anyone would want to talk to me. Even the days I feel "happy", I don't, just somewhat less depressed. For christmas, I told my parents not to buy me anything but to give all the money they were going to spend on me to the Heifer Organization- an org. that gives animals to v. poor people in other countries which really turns their life around. It sounds nice, but I was being sort of selfish when I did it. I did it because not only did I want to help others, but I also wanted to feel better about myself. It didn't work. I felt no different. No better about me at all. Seems to me ( ... )

Re: Hey, it's Alex anonymous November 30 2003, 21:42:50 UTC

Hey, it's Mitch. People like you because of who you are as a person not because of what you look like. I hardly ever see you but i talk to you all the time which has made me fall totally in love with you. I don't just love you but am in love with you. Looks aren't going to take you anywhere in life. Theres a better way to get help then harming yourself, just ask for it. I love you sweetie. Night.

hey hun, its liv hello_oblivian December 1 2003, 15:00:52 UTC

sweetie, ur beautiful, and you have so many friends not because of your looks, but your personality. your such a gr8 friend to me and i still feel bad that you have negative images of your self. well i have to work on a stupid project on Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria, so all im gonna say is feel better! MWWWWWA!
<33 Liv