random
i havent been on myspace since the 26th. i am so happy. i need to get out of that thing. it's too addicting. lol.
i couldnt sleep last night, because i kept thinking about my promise. i said that i would do it, but now i have no urge to. it's not that i dont want to keep my promise, it's just that, if i do what i am supposed to do, i dont think it'll change anything. it's just going to stay the same because that's how it's always been. pride takes over. i see no point. i mean, sure in the long run, it'll help to some extent, but will it help me get what i REALLY want? i dont know. sometimes, i dont know what i want. i have my pride too, but i make sure that i act mature. last night, i said to myself, that i would keep my promise, but now that i am wide awake and the sun is shining. i feel that i shouldnt have to. i shouldnt make this keeping me from doing what i love to do. gahh