[Advent Children/House M.D.] "Cracked"
Title: Cracked
Pairing: House x Reno
Rating: T (Slash, Crossover, Language, general wtf-ery)
Archived @ Master List
Summary: [For rezzu] "You have green slime eating away at your arm."
Cracked
He wasn't anywhere near the top of the list of House's most infuriating patients, but his rank was rising pretty damn quickly.
"You have green slime eating away at your arm," House said, enunciating as if he were speaking to a mentally challenged individual. "That's the kinda stuff you see in science-fiction movies, and usually, when a person gets green slime, they die. No corporation is worth that."
The patient only shrugged lazily. "You got a solution yet, doc?"
"Um, no, and I won't until you start talking."
"Nope, can't do that. Company policy."
"You're an idiot."
The patient looked amused. "Y'know why we came to you, Doctor House? 'Cuz figuring out stuff is your ‘schmo. If someone with a seemingly incurable disease came to you, you'd fix them and take delight in rubbing it in the faces of everyone who thought you couldn't. So fix me."
"Doing your homework doesn't make you any less of an idiot."
The patient--Reno--just smiled that careless smile, and reclined back on the hospital bed as if he was in a suit and not a hospital gown.
---
ShinRa was as closed mouthed as all the other corporations he was ever unfortunate enough to have contact with. The lady he talked to (who sounded really hot) at least made an effort to ask for Reno's condition. When House tried to guilt trip her, however, she hung up on him. Foreman and Chase had better get some dirt.
On cue, the phone rang.
"Greetings, inspectors. What says his closet?"
"House," Chase said slowly, "you sent us to a sex shop."
---
His patient had no visitors, no one to badger regarding his medical history. He did, on the other hand, receive a torrent of phone calls. Some he answered in a playful tone, some he answered seriously. All were undoubtedly business.
Unfortunately, no matter how much House pleaded, Cuddy would not allow him to bug the phone line.
---
"You're going to die."
He had been moved to a clean room in the ICU. Reno could no longer ingest food without vomiting. His weight was dropping dramatically, his breathing was irregular, and the slime on his arm was darkening from a repulsive lime green to a repulsive purple.
But his lip curled weakly, defiant to the end.
"Never wanted to live forever, anyway."
---
The glass windows made knocking rather unnecessary, but Reno did it anyway.
"Yo, doc."
House glowered at him. In the combined light of the solitary lampshade and the glow of the computer screen, he looked more like a patient than he did a physician.
Reno laughed and approached with an admirable lack of fear. "Sorry my unwelcome houseguest left without a word. Your team seems pretty pleased about the ‘miracle’."
"I should've turned you over to the government,” House snapped. “Bet they would’ve gotten a kick out of making ShinRa a scapegoat."
"You wouldn't have," Reno replies confidently--too confidently. "That would've taken your fun away."
"You took my fun away. I want my time back."
Reno glanced at him thoughtfully. Then, edging around the desk separating them, he slid into House's lap, wrapping his arms and legs around the older man, wearing an predatory smirk. "I think I may be able to come up with some kind of…compensation."
House peered at him with feigned confusion. "Are you always such a whore?"
"Only for cranky old bastards who have a stick in their ass large enough for me to do some serious damage with."
House grinned despite himself.
Reno kissed more with his tongue and teeth than he did his lips. There was no hesitation or fear, or even need, for House to reciprocate-a very manly kiss if there ever was one. Either he knew House wanted it, or he didn’t care.
When he finally pulled back, House decided that Reno’s mouth would be more efficient pleasuring the central erogenous zone of the human body.
Reno grinned at him, unabashed. “Should I go on?”
A moment’s pause and House sighed. “You might still be contagious.”
“Whatever you say, doc.” He slid back off House’s lap and straightened, adjusting the lapels of his blue suit and the sunglasses on his fiery red head, though only the moon was out at this hour of the day. He pulled a blinking cell phone out of his jacket pocket and waved it at House. “Duty calls.”
"I hope you get sick again soon," House called after him, sincerely.
Reno winked. "I hope so too, doc."
t h e . e n d
Inspired by this secret from fandomsecrets. Not mine, but it ate away at me. Dedicated to rezzu, for goading encouraging me. ♥
Apologies for any misuse of medical jargon. Apologies for general vagueness.
Yes, the title can be interpreted in many different ways. ;)
And lastly, I have no regrets for writing it. It’s been a long time since I’ve let anything through my filters. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing. ^^
Pairing: House x Reno
Rating: T (Slash, Crossover, Language, general wtf-ery)
Archived @ Master List
Summary: [For rezzu] "You have green slime eating away at your arm."
Cracked
He wasn't anywhere near the top of the list of House's most infuriating patients, but his rank was rising pretty damn quickly.
"You have green slime eating away at your arm," House said, enunciating as if he were speaking to a mentally challenged individual. "That's the kinda stuff you see in science-fiction movies, and usually, when a person gets green slime, they die. No corporation is worth that."
The patient only shrugged lazily. "You got a solution yet, doc?"
"Um, no, and I won't until you start talking."
"Nope, can't do that. Company policy."
"You're an idiot."
The patient looked amused. "Y'know why we came to you, Doctor House? 'Cuz figuring out stuff is your ‘schmo. If someone with a seemingly incurable disease came to you, you'd fix them and take delight in rubbing it in the faces of everyone who thought you couldn't. So fix me."
"Doing your homework doesn't make you any less of an idiot."
The patient--Reno--just smiled that careless smile, and reclined back on the hospital bed as if he was in a suit and not a hospital gown.
---
ShinRa was as closed mouthed as all the other corporations he was ever unfortunate enough to have contact with. The lady he talked to (who sounded really hot) at least made an effort to ask for Reno's condition. When House tried to guilt trip her, however, she hung up on him. Foreman and Chase had better get some dirt.
On cue, the phone rang.
"Greetings, inspectors. What says his closet?"
"House," Chase said slowly, "you sent us to a sex shop."
---
His patient had no visitors, no one to badger regarding his medical history. He did, on the other hand, receive a torrent of phone calls. Some he answered in a playful tone, some he answered seriously. All were undoubtedly business.
Unfortunately, no matter how much House pleaded, Cuddy would not allow him to bug the phone line.
---
"You're going to die."
He had been moved to a clean room in the ICU. Reno could no longer ingest food without vomiting. His weight was dropping dramatically, his breathing was irregular, and the slime on his arm was darkening from a repulsive lime green to a repulsive purple.
But his lip curled weakly, defiant to the end.
"Never wanted to live forever, anyway."
---
The glass windows made knocking rather unnecessary, but Reno did it anyway.
"Yo, doc."
House glowered at him. In the combined light of the solitary lampshade and the glow of the computer screen, he looked more like a patient than he did a physician.
Reno laughed and approached with an admirable lack of fear. "Sorry my unwelcome houseguest left without a word. Your team seems pretty pleased about the ‘miracle’."
"I should've turned you over to the government,” House snapped. “Bet they would’ve gotten a kick out of making ShinRa a scapegoat."
"You wouldn't have," Reno replies confidently--too confidently. "That would've taken your fun away."
"You took my fun away. I want my time back."
Reno glanced at him thoughtfully. Then, edging around the desk separating them, he slid into House's lap, wrapping his arms and legs around the older man, wearing an predatory smirk. "I think I may be able to come up with some kind of…compensation."
House peered at him with feigned confusion. "Are you always such a whore?"
"Only for cranky old bastards who have a stick in their ass large enough for me to do some serious damage with."
House grinned despite himself.
Reno kissed more with his tongue and teeth than he did his lips. There was no hesitation or fear, or even need, for House to reciprocate-a very manly kiss if there ever was one. Either he knew House wanted it, or he didn’t care.
When he finally pulled back, House decided that Reno’s mouth would be more efficient pleasuring the central erogenous zone of the human body.
Reno grinned at him, unabashed. “Should I go on?”
A moment’s pause and House sighed. “You might still be contagious.”
“Whatever you say, doc.” He slid back off House’s lap and straightened, adjusting the lapels of his blue suit and the sunglasses on his fiery red head, though only the moon was out at this hour of the day. He pulled a blinking cell phone out of his jacket pocket and waved it at House. “Duty calls.”
"I hope you get sick again soon," House called after him, sincerely.
Reno winked. "I hope so too, doc."
t h e . e n d
Inspired by this secret from fandomsecrets. Not mine, but it ate away at me. Dedicated to rezzu, for goading encouraging me. ♥
Apologies for any misuse of medical jargon. Apologies for general vagueness.
Yes, the title can be interpreted in many different ways. ;)
And lastly, I have no regrets for writing it. It’s been a long time since I’ve let anything through my filters. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing. ^^