only two and a half hours left...
I have NEVER had someone treat me with so much disrespect as my acting teacher. Every time she says anything to me, whether she realizes it or not I don't care, she says in such an attacking way. Today when I told her I thought adam and I should go again she looked surprised and told me that "from what i hear, there hasn't been any rehearsing going on." You know what that means? That means adam told her we haven't rehearsed. And you know what THAT means? That means that she is assuming it is my fault that we haven't rehearsed.
I have attempted rehearsing with adam as much as I can stand. While I am fed up with the class, I wanted to do the scene again because I didn't want to hrut adam's grade. But seeing as she thinks that I don't want to rehearse, I now don't care. I do not want to go to class thursday. I am going to do my monologue, do my scene with adam, get my stuff and leave. I never want to see this woman again. I don't care what she thinks about me, but I hate the woman with all that I have within me. I have been doing as much work for that damned class as I can muster, and I have been getting shit from her. I am trying my damndest to be a good student and excell in acting, but because of her attacks I just feel my selfrespect dwindling, and having realized that I know this is a VERY bad situation for me to be in. I never want to set foot in that room again.
She has treated me like crap, doesn't care that I have other responsibilities, doesn't care that I AM trying, and doesn't care that I want to do the work.
When she asked who wanted to do their monologues thursday, I told her "Craig wants to", raised my hand, was sitting right next to three other people who wanted to, and she looked at me, and then she didn't write my name on the board and blamed me for not telling her I wanted to after she started writing the list and remembered I had said I wanted to. I am done with that class. I have two and a half hours left with that woman, and I am going to be sitting there doing my best not to scream at the bitch.
That woman has ruined my love of acting. In my life I have been critisized by my own parents trying to keep me from getting into theatre, trying to keep me from dancing, and yet I have pulled through and succeeded. Why? Because they fucking gave me a chance to prove my worth. Mary, on the other hand, has not attempted to let me succeed at all. She has done nothing but critisize my work and not let me participate in class.
I hate the woman with all of my being. Everybody else seems to like her, and for them I am happy. This woman is a fucking bitch to me. I wanted to talk to her after class, but after she attacked me with the lack of rehearsals adam and I have had, and after she made it my fault that she didn't remember I wanted to perform my monologue I just had to get out of that fucking room because I knew if I said one more word to her, it would have been "bitch" and then I would have just have bitched that woman out beyond any neccesity. Few people in my life have ever made me mad, but somehow, she has managed, and the fact that I am that mad, I know I need to never see her again, for her sake. Ask my ex jeff, when I get to that point, I am one scary mother fucker, and I will not stop my attack until I am damn well ready to. I am almost at the point of being blinded by rage because that woman has ripped me down and I have never put up with this type of disrespect before in my life, from anyone. I am a calm person, not easily provoked to violence, and yet somehow this woman just pushes the right buttons.
I have been trying to prove myself to her for an entire semester, and it's gotten to the point where I can not take any more of her crap. She can go on in her career and succeed all she wants, but I never want to see the bitch again.
only two and a half hours left...