I need some advice.
So my sister and her husband had a proposal for me tonight. This isn't a thing I can ask my emotionally-unstable mother about, and frankly I'm at a loss:
Apparently they've been discussing all week the possibility that living with Mom has been hurting my mental health (which I wholeheartedly agree with) and that I'd make a good nanny for the girls on days when Angi and Scott both work (This is partly what I'm on the fence about).
It'd be 3-4 days a week, and in Angi's words, "when you're off the clock, you're off the clock." That much I could deal with, although given that I'm family I highly doubt the girls would go "welp, Aunt Nina's not working so no playtime now".
On one hand, this is an awesome opportunity--to get away from Mom, to spend more time with my sister, and when I very haltingly explained that I wasn't turning her down but I have these goals, her answer was "what do you need to meet those goals?" and she actually LISTENED, and said she thought we could help each other--me to help her and Scott ensure the girls have decent care, her and Scott to help me save for Los Angeles. It'd also enable me to get out of Arizona--and yes, I'd be moving to batshit cray Texas, but at least Texas had the good sense to kick out Joe Arpaio.
On the other . . . I've just met someone, and I'm not sure long-distance would work. I don't think at all that a romantic relationship, especially a brand-new one, is more important than my family, but finding someone I fit with is hard because hi, my name is Ninalyn and I'm autistic, and I really think we have potential. Ellie isn't interested in long-distance, and while we might remain friends, this would 100%, no chance otherwise, destroy any relationship we could have as girlfriends.
This would also mean big lifestyle changes for me--my sister is Jewish and keeps kosher, and I'm Indeterminate Spiritualist. My sister isn't a hypocrite like my mom, so I could probably tell her that I'm seriously considering paganism as a viable option and not have her get pissy, but I'd almost certainly still end up attending temple and keeping kosher (which I'm not averse to, it'd just . . . be a big difference for me).
I wish I could go through and list both the pros and cons, but honestly, my thoughts are kind of a jumble. I don't dare ask my mom about this--today she'd be all for it, tomorrow she'd insist I'm too mentally broken, and the day after she'd be shoving me out the door yelling about how I've never appreciated anything she did for me.
I just, I need someone to talk to and advice and a place to sort out my thoughts. I definitely want to leave my mom's, but I don't know if this is the solution--or if, maybe, it's exactly the escape hatch I've been looking for.
Help, y'all.
Apparently they've been discussing all week the possibility that living with Mom has been hurting my mental health (which I wholeheartedly agree with) and that I'd make a good nanny for the girls on days when Angi and Scott both work (This is partly what I'm on the fence about).
It'd be 3-4 days a week, and in Angi's words, "when you're off the clock, you're off the clock." That much I could deal with, although given that I'm family I highly doubt the girls would go "welp, Aunt Nina's not working so no playtime now".
On one hand, this is an awesome opportunity--to get away from Mom, to spend more time with my sister, and when I very haltingly explained that I wasn't turning her down but I have these goals, her answer was "what do you need to meet those goals?" and she actually LISTENED, and said she thought we could help each other--me to help her and Scott ensure the girls have decent care, her and Scott to help me save for Los Angeles. It'd also enable me to get out of Arizona--and yes, I'd be moving to batshit cray Texas, but at least Texas had the good sense to kick out Joe Arpaio.
On the other . . . I've just met someone, and I'm not sure long-distance would work. I don't think at all that a romantic relationship, especially a brand-new one, is more important than my family, but finding someone I fit with is hard because hi, my name is Ninalyn and I'm autistic, and I really think we have potential. Ellie isn't interested in long-distance, and while we might remain friends, this would 100%, no chance otherwise, destroy any relationship we could have as girlfriends.
This would also mean big lifestyle changes for me--my sister is Jewish and keeps kosher, and I'm Indeterminate Spiritualist. My sister isn't a hypocrite like my mom, so I could probably tell her that I'm seriously considering paganism as a viable option and not have her get pissy, but I'd almost certainly still end up attending temple and keeping kosher (which I'm not averse to, it'd just . . . be a big difference for me).
I wish I could go through and list both the pros and cons, but honestly, my thoughts are kind of a jumble. I don't dare ask my mom about this--today she'd be all for it, tomorrow she'd insist I'm too mentally broken, and the day after she'd be shoving me out the door yelling about how I've never appreciated anything she did for me.
I just, I need someone to talk to and advice and a place to sort out my thoughts. I definitely want to leave my mom's, but I don't know if this is the solution--or if, maybe, it's exactly the escape hatch I've been looking for.
Help, y'all.