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[teddybearracing]

Well I feel a little better today. OKay I may sound weird expaining how I do feel today, but oh well. If you dont all know that I am a little weird already than :) now you do. I feel kinda distant within myself. Like I am walking around and and not really here. I know that sounds weird, but I dont really know the words to describe it. I had someone

Comments

[macaholic]

Hey. You don't need to feel bad about talking about how you feel. Besides the fact that this is your journal and you are free to say what you want about what you want, most of us do the exact same thing. So, if nothing else, you are in like company.

Hug

[teddybearracing]

I know I tell people the same thing(about that it is there journal........write whatever), I didnt really know how to describe how I have been feeling today. This really sucks because more and more now, I am starting to have like an empty feeling. Last night after I gave my daughter a bath.......I just had a feeling come over me that I didnt like. I just felt really sad and empty. I mean I have two wonderful children and that I thank GOD every day for, but geez they say he doesnt give you more than you can handle. I am telling you I cant handle much more. I will never commit suicide, but I may end up going nuts. Or at least it feels like it sometimes.

Thank you for your comment and the hug........I needed that:)

[macaholic]

Are you getting enough sleep? And, is it a good sleep? I know you are stressed right now. Is there someone that you can talk to in order to talk some of that stress out?

If not, just write everything out in your journal. You can make it a private entry if you want, or shut off comments, or what ever. But, talking and/or writing it all out can sometimes help...even if it pulls you deeper for a short while, it is like a release.

Hugs.

[teddybearracing]

Dear I nver get enough sleep. I am usually in bed by the latest at 1-2am and back up by 6-6:15am. Someday I will be able to get more but right now I just cant. Thank you for the suggestion...actually I do let it out by writing it down. I have wrote quite a few private journals. I am just getting really tired of talking about the same thing. I just need things to get better and fast. I think I am really getting even more scared about school starting in a little more than a month and me quiting my job. I do know deep inside that everything will be okay, but it still is stressful and scary.

Hugs back to you.........have a better night......

[acfernandez]

you know, there are going to be those days when it takes too much energy to put on a happy face. sometimes i just don't have it to give, and i hope the people around me can understand.

i will keep my fingers crossed this guy helps you out. i understand money struggles. they are a nightmare.

i still haven't checked my lotto ticket from saturday. who know?

yeah right!

take care, traci!

hugs,

angeli

[teddybearracing]

You know days when I dont feel like smiling and being all that chipper, people around here make a big deal about it. For the last 4 years before I got transfered in where I am now.........I was out in the lobby where everyone was and well I always had a smile on my face. Dont get me wrong I can smile today.........I just dont feel it. I know you know what I mean:) I think this guy will help me out. I have made every single payment on time since I bought this car and well its not like I am skipping a payment. I just want to pay it 10 days later. I think I will actually call him tomorrow. Boy that will be hard.

Yes they are a nightmare. Wish me luck on selling my wedding dress, jacket and bed. Those will pay my loans off hopefully and then I can get caught back up before school starts and I have no job. I will keep my fingers crossed that maybe you have a lucky ticket. You never know. Thank you also for the hugs Angeli

Traci

[teddybearracing]

I just wanted to thank both of you for your comments. You have made my day a little brighter:)

[pixiefyre]

It's okay to express how you feel :)

Even if it's just confusion.

Hang in there, things will get better. I've been searching online to see if there are any grant type things available that might help you out in this.

Good luck with the car *fingers crossed for you*

[teddybearracing]

Thank you so much Kat. I continue to do the same...searching for more grants and scholarships......legiate one's. I am trying to hang in there and I know I will....like I said in a previous response....I am just scared.