Not Anymore - 2/? - Smallville: Chloe Sullivan/Lex Luthor - PG13/R
Not Anymore
Disclaimer posted in Chapter 1
updated - march 4 2005
Chapter 2: Bring Back the Banter
Lex POV
"I use the hyphenated surname now, Mr. Luthor.”.
Hyphenated. Sullivan-Kent.
‘That could change. That has GOT to change. I could do that.’
"You should know that already since you were at the wedding as our best man."
‘Damn right I was the best man. How could I refuse my best friends?’, he thought resignedly.
“You know you could refuse. They would’ve understood, especially Clark. That boy was so giddy; all that energy can power the plant for years. Besides, Pete was willing to fill in. You were too caught off guard to decline the martyrdom of bestman-ship.”
Lex groaned. Now wasn’t exactly the right time to let his conscience take center stage.
‘Wait. I have a conscience?!’
“Of course, numb-nuts! Chloe Sullivan deserves more than just to be charmed, she’s to be respected, too. How could you expect to be friends with her without me?”
‘She sees me for me,’ he thought defensively. ‘She calls me on my bullshit and was never afraid to be upfront.’
“Well, there you go! You’ll thank me in the end.”
‘And you’re starting to sound like Dad…which is really unnerving.’
“Oh, the insults I must endure! Why did I ever get assigned to a Luthor??”
‘Take me as I am, or get the hell out,’ he scathed.
“Temper, temper, Luthor. We don’t want another psychotic break now, do we?”
Lex decided to ignore the reference and focus on that particular time instead. ‘She tried to help back then and…no. No, she only did it because of Clark. It was always Clark. Never me.’
“Sure, Lex. Keep telling yourself that crap.”
‘I manufacture enough crap to not think about it more than I should. If you haven’t been hibernating all this time, you’d have noticed the way she looks at Clark. First love, remember?’
“First love, yes,” his conscience conceded, “but that doesn’t mean she can’t love anybody else anymore. And FYI, it was your first meeting with Chloe in the Torch office that woke me up. You just never listened to me long enough.”
‘Alright, alright, I’m listening. Now what’s your GPOA*?’
“Finally he surrenders! He sees the light!”
‘Don’t push it, or I’ll put your lights out. If not for this,’ Lex squeezed his right fist, the wound was still smarting, ‘I’d be more patient and receptive.’
No matter how fine the table napkin’s material claims itself to be, it can’t compare to the softness of the back of Chloe’s hand.
‘Her damned wedding ring. The one I helped Clark find,’ he grumbled. ‘The one I would’ve personally chosen for her,’ he added bitterly.
He sighed as he recalled that day in the jeweler’s private office; the owner looked at him questioningly while he scowled as Clark stroked the rings and solemnly closed the black box. He mentally kicked himself for reaching for her left hand.
“Ow! You do realize that I absorb all the pain you feel, self-inflicted or otherwise, right?”
Lex removed the napkin from his hand and traced the wound, noting that it cut across his life AND love lines. ‘I’ll have this forever,’ he reflected wryly and shook his head. ‘You’re surprisingly quiet.’ He’s suddenly uneasy with the voice’s silence.
“Just thinking along the same lines as you.” He could almost feel his conscience smiling nastily.
‘Right. Back to business. First of all, how do I address you? Calling you Lex would make this conversation weirder, along with the fact that you already sound like my father.’
His conscience paused, and then blurted out, “What does Chloe call you back in the safe house?”
Lex was confused. ‘Well, Lex, of course.’
“When it’s just the two of you, numb-nuts! And I don’t mean those times when all you talked about was evidence and testimonies.”
Lex can’t believe how demanding this inner voice was, but he couldn’t help but smile. ‘Xan. Chloe used to call me Xan. She wanted a personal nick, and in return, allowed me to call her Chlo. But only when we’re alone. I don’t think she’ll let Clark call her that.’
“Perfect! Xan it is. Now here’s the plan…”
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After nearly an hour later, Lex sauntered out of the café. He wanted to whoop and cheer, but knew that the gleam in his eye was enough.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Chloe POV
Chloe angrily wiped away the tears she allowed to flow after passing through the café’s double doors. Good thing it was already dark and that she decided to forgo the mascara and eyeliner, or else she’d look worse than the mess she’s in at the moment.
She skipped the waiting cabs on the curb and resolved to endure the seven blocks to the restaurant and meet up with her husband. She needed to walk off the building frustration resulting from her conversation with Lex. She’d rather not face Clark when Lex’s revelation was taking up all her attention.
“What happened to us, Chloe?”
‘Nothing happened, Lex. That’s the problem. That’s the glitch in this reality.’
“I love you, Chloe. I still do.”
‘How dare he bring that up?! And on my anniversary, that bastard!’
“Chlo…,” a faint voice in her head trying to hold back a full-blown rant. But Chloe ignores it.
‘So he still loves me, huh? Did that ever cross his mind after the trial? Apparently not. Does he even bother to talk or acknowledge me at the Talon? Nope, he’s too busy discussing with Mrs. Kent. All he had to do was look up from the books, see me trying to catch his eye, and nod in my direction. Did he even congratulate me at the Smallville graduation? Oh, he approached me, alright, but only because I was standing next to Clark and he wanted to talk to him. A hug would’ve sufficed when Clark wasn’t looking; I was less than a foot away!’
Her eyes were dry now, but she still felt the tracks the tears made on her face.
‘He has absolutely no fucking right to love me anymore.’
“But you and Clark agreed to make Lex best man. Doesn’t that count for anything?...And aren't being too selective with those memories?” the voice asked wryly.
‘Don’t you get me started on THAT. We’ve been through it before. I’m OVER him. It’s OVER between us. It’s Sullivan-Kent now. Sullivan-Luthor didn’t even make it to the drawing board, so there’s nothing to come back to.’
“Bitch, please,” her conscience was now irritated at its owner’s stubbornness. “Didn’t he promise to look after you? Didn’t he regularly visit MetU? Didn’t he risk Helen’s jealousy when he stayed the whole summer? Didn’t he promise you’re in this together?’
Chloe mumbled a curse. ‘When would you stop?!’
“C’mon Chlo,” goaded the voice, dishing out Lex’s personal nick, ‘denial ain’t just a damned river!’
‘Alright, alright! Yes to all that whining! Sure, he looked after me. But how could I be properly thankful if he won’t even look at me? Yeah, he visited MetU. But the most I got from him was “Keep it up, Miss Sullivan.” Helen may have been jealous, but that couldn’t count because she doesn’t love him...And, yeah, maaayyybeee a lil guilty with selective memory. But who cares about it now?! That also couldn't count.’
Chloe took a deep breath and continued, ‘He promised we’d go through this together, but to whom does he go home to at the end of the day? Who does he keep by his side? Not me…and stop calling me Chlo!’ The restaurant doors were only a few steps away.
“Xan still loves you, Chlo” said the voice timidly.
Chloe inwardly cringed for the second time that day as she passed through another set of double doors.
TBC
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* GPOA - general plan of action. Ü