Landru, I am lying.
This meme requires me to answer each question honestly, and then dishonestly. But if course, you would have figured that out on your own.
1. What Is your natural hair color/style?
Honestly: Brownish.
Dishonest: Infrared.
2. Where was your default pic taken?
Honestly: MS Paint.
Dishonest: A professional photography studio. In Paris. You've probably never heard of it.
3. What's your middle name?
Honestly: Joseph.
Dishonest: Ahab.
4. Your current relationship status?
Honestly: Single.
Dishonest: I am house-husband at Castle Anthrax.
5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
Honestly: I don't have a crush.
Dishonest: Which one? And yes for all of them.
6. What is your current mood?
Honestly: Lazy.
Dishonest: I am channeling the madness of Tholaghru.
7. What color underwear are you wearing?
Honestly: White.
Dishonest: Infrared.
8. What makes you happy?
Honestly: Sleep.
Dishonest: Hard work and responsibility.
9. Where do you enjoy going?
Honestly: To Psi Phi meetings. Well, when I was a member.
Dishonestly: To my weekly colonoscopy.
10. If you could go back in time and change something, what you would change?
Honestly: I'd change my major to biology.
Dishonest: The Civil War would have been fought with pies.
11. If you had to be an animal for 24 hours, what would you be?
Honestly: A velociraptor.
Dishonest: A sea sponge.
12. Ever had a near death experience?
Honestly: Nope.
Dishonest: I once sat next to the Reaper on the bus. He was reading "The Secret."
13. Something you do a lot?
Honestly: Internets LOLZ.
Dishonest: Pick lice out of my hair.
14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
Honestly: "People" by Boyd Rice, though it's really more of a spoken word piece.
Dishonest: "The Thong Song" by...uh, sorry, who?
15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Honestly: Dave (psiphiorg)
Dishonest: Dick Cheney (xXPuPpYbLoOdDrInKeRXx)
16. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
Honestly: Carlos Hathcock.
Dishonest: Captain Planet.
17. When was the last time you cried?
Honestly: I dunno.
Dishonestly: I burned out my tear glands with a soldering iron.
18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Honestly: I, along with everybody in my class, sang in front of all our parents and friends in elementary school.
Dishonest: One time Joseph Stalin held me at gunpoint and forced me to sing the Soviet Anthem before he threw the opening pitch at a Sox game.
19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Honestly: Invulnerability.
Dishonest: Super-weaving.
20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Honestly: That they are, in fact, female.
Dishonest: Their lymph node distribution. Yeah, I went there.
21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Honestly: Frappuccinos of various compositions.
Dishonestly: After staring at you and your food vacantly for about seven minutes, I will order a two-percent half-caf tall sugar-free French vanilla cappuccino, extra hot, in a venti mug, with seventeen Splendas and extra foam, with an extra shot and caramel syrup on top. Four other similarly complicated drinks as well, all with different kinds of milk. Also, one slice of each cheesecake for here. And as soon as you put them on plates, I'll ask for them in to-go trays. And don't mind the ten people behind me, I'm sure they're happy to wait. And it's ten minutes to closing. (Do I sound bitter about anything?)
22. What's your biggest secret?
Honestly: If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, would it?
Dishonestly: I'm planning to vote for Hillary. Duff.
23. What's your favorite color?
Honestly: Blue.
Dishonestly: Infrared.
24. When was the last time you lied?
Honestly: Assuming the 23 previous "dishonest" questions don't count? "Are these any good?" "Absolutely."
Dishonest: I am lying right now.
25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Every now and then.
26. If you had to choose, what letter of the alphabet would you abolish from the English language, and why?
Honestly: I'm tempted to say C. We have an S and we have a K. Why do we need C?
Dishonestly: V, because it's dirty.
27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Honestly: Nothing. Last thing I ate was, uh, roast somethin' or other.
Dishonest: ROCKS.
28. Do you speak any other language?
Honestly: Nein.
Dishonestly: R'yleh.
29. What's your favorite smell?
Honestly: Gunpowder, most foods.
Dishonestly: B.O.
30. If you could describe life in one word what would it be?
Honestly: Biochemical.
Dishonest: Irreducible.
31. When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
Honestly: I hugged the dog not too long ago.
Dishonestly: Those bikini models who needed to be comforted after their tour bus broke down outside.
32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
Honestly: No.
Dishonestly: Yes. By bikini models.
33. What are you thinking about right now?
Honestly: Cleaning the bathroom.
Dishonestly: I will avoid the paradox which caused the previous poster to malfunction by assuming "right now" means the moment I began reading this question. If that is the case, I was thinking about drafting a bill to allow Texas oilmen to serve seventeen consecutive terms as president.
34. What should you be doing?
Honestly: Vacuuming.
Dishonestly: Cleaning oil off of penguins and seals.
35. What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
Honestly: Ignorant comments in the newspaper.
Dishonestly: My dress was ruined and now I have nothing to wear to the ball.
36. How often do you pray?
Honestly: Ha ha ha.
Dishonestly: I have cleverly arranged so that everything I think is part of one decades-long prayer. Ergo, I am always praying, and I am the most pious man on Earth.
37. Do you like working in the yard?
Honestly: No.
Dishonestly: It's my greatest joy in life. (Previous poster's answer amused me, so I'm keepin' it.)
38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Honestly: Natick.
Dishonestly: Smallberries.
39. Do you act differently around your crush?
Honestly: I haven't one.
Dishonestly: Which one? And, uh, I become Spanish and grow a moustache.
40. What song that reminds you of an ex?
Honestly: Well, Mozart's Requiem reminds me of the X-Men. Does that count?
Dishonestly: "The Thong Song" by...ah, hell.
1. What Is your natural hair color/style?
Honestly: Brownish.
Dishonest: Infrared.
2. Where was your default pic taken?
Honestly: MS Paint.
Dishonest: A professional photography studio. In Paris. You've probably never heard of it.
3. What's your middle name?
Honestly: Joseph.
Dishonest: Ahab.
4. Your current relationship status?
Honestly: Single.
Dishonest: I am house-husband at Castle Anthrax.
5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
Honestly: I don't have a crush.
Dishonest: Which one? And yes for all of them.
6. What is your current mood?
Honestly: Lazy.
Dishonest: I am channeling the madness of Tholaghru.
7. What color underwear are you wearing?
Honestly: White.
Dishonest: Infrared.
8. What makes you happy?
Honestly: Sleep.
Dishonest: Hard work and responsibility.
9. Where do you enjoy going?
Honestly: To Psi Phi meetings. Well, when I was a member.
Dishonestly: To my weekly colonoscopy.
10. If you could go back in time and change something, what you would change?
Honestly: I'd change my major to biology.
Dishonest: The Civil War would have been fought with pies.
11. If you had to be an animal for 24 hours, what would you be?
Honestly: A velociraptor.
Dishonest: A sea sponge.
12. Ever had a near death experience?
Honestly: Nope.
Dishonest: I once sat next to the Reaper on the bus. He was reading "The Secret."
13. Something you do a lot?
Honestly: Internets LOLZ.
Dishonest: Pick lice out of my hair.
14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
Honestly: "People" by Boyd Rice, though it's really more of a spoken word piece.
Dishonest: "The Thong Song" by...uh, sorry, who?
15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Honestly: Dave (psiphiorg)
Dishonest: Dick Cheney (xXPuPpYbLoOdDrInKeRXx)
16. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
Honestly: Carlos Hathcock.
Dishonest: Captain Planet.
17. When was the last time you cried?
Honestly: I dunno.
Dishonestly: I burned out my tear glands with a soldering iron.
18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Honestly: I, along with everybody in my class, sang in front of all our parents and friends in elementary school.
Dishonest: One time Joseph Stalin held me at gunpoint and forced me to sing the Soviet Anthem before he threw the opening pitch at a Sox game.
19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Honestly: Invulnerability.
Dishonest: Super-weaving.
20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Honestly: That they are, in fact, female.
Dishonest: Their lymph node distribution. Yeah, I went there.
21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Honestly: Frappuccinos of various compositions.
Dishonestly: After staring at you and your food vacantly for about seven minutes, I will order a two-percent half-caf tall sugar-free French vanilla cappuccino, extra hot, in a venti mug, with seventeen Splendas and extra foam, with an extra shot and caramel syrup on top. Four other similarly complicated drinks as well, all with different kinds of milk. Also, one slice of each cheesecake for here. And as soon as you put them on plates, I'll ask for them in to-go trays. And don't mind the ten people behind me, I'm sure they're happy to wait. And it's ten minutes to closing. (Do I sound bitter about anything?)
22. What's your biggest secret?
Honestly: If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, would it?
Dishonestly: I'm planning to vote for Hillary. Duff.
23. What's your favorite color?
Honestly: Blue.
Dishonestly: Infrared.
24. When was the last time you lied?
Honestly: Assuming the 23 previous "dishonest" questions don't count? "Are these any good?" "Absolutely."
Dishonest: I am lying right now.
25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Every now and then.
26. If you had to choose, what letter of the alphabet would you abolish from the English language, and why?
Honestly: I'm tempted to say C. We have an S and we have a K. Why do we need C?
Dishonestly: V, because it's dirty.
27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Honestly: Nothing. Last thing I ate was, uh, roast somethin' or other.
Dishonest: ROCKS.
28. Do you speak any other language?
Honestly: Nein.
Dishonestly: R'yleh.
29. What's your favorite smell?
Honestly: Gunpowder, most foods.
Dishonestly: B.O.
30. If you could describe life in one word what would it be?
Honestly: Biochemical.
Dishonest: Irreducible.
31. When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
Honestly: I hugged the dog not too long ago.
Dishonestly: Those bikini models who needed to be comforted after their tour bus broke down outside.
32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
Honestly: No.
Dishonestly: Yes. By bikini models.
33. What are you thinking about right now?
Honestly: Cleaning the bathroom.
Dishonestly: I will avoid the paradox which caused the previous poster to malfunction by assuming "right now" means the moment I began reading this question. If that is the case, I was thinking about drafting a bill to allow Texas oilmen to serve seventeen consecutive terms as president.
34. What should you be doing?
Honestly: Vacuuming.
Dishonestly: Cleaning oil off of penguins and seals.
35. What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
Honestly: Ignorant comments in the newspaper.
Dishonestly: My dress was ruined and now I have nothing to wear to the ball.
36. How often do you pray?
Honestly: Ha ha ha.
Dishonestly: I have cleverly arranged so that everything I think is part of one decades-long prayer. Ergo, I am always praying, and I am the most pious man on Earth.
37. Do you like working in the yard?
Honestly: No.
Dishonestly: It's my greatest joy in life. (Previous poster's answer amused me, so I'm keepin' it.)
38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Honestly: Natick.
Dishonestly: Smallberries.
39. Do you act differently around your crush?
Honestly: I haven't one.
Dishonestly: Which one? And, uh, I become Spanish and grow a moustache.
40. What song that reminds you of an ex?
Honestly: Well, Mozart's Requiem reminds me of the X-Men. Does that count?
Dishonestly: "The Thong Song" by...ah, hell.