Okay.. so im back from qld... yay!
It was soo much fun! met all of Joshies old mates i went to his grave sight, i hanged out on the beach with the totally hot schoolies! i partied hard and tanned even harder! lol!
Anyway.. yeah.. i didnt tell anybody from Melb i was going, so i left Tuesday night... well it was an odd morning time actually but ohwell!
The hostest let us into first class bcuz there was like no-one on the plane so yeah.. well there were people obvioudly but not alot of people!
So yeha, i got back about an hour ago.. well i got home an hour ago...
I didnt go to any of the theam parks tho :( but when i go again net year i will....
The only reason i went i think is bcuz i really needed to say goobuy to Josh properly, how can you say goodbuy to someone when you dont go to their funeral and cant even place flowers on the grave? It was so hard for me, i finally realised that he is gone, nothing will ever bring hime back, him or the things we did, his touch his smell his smile... it's all gone... i sat there for hours and just cried, Joy was with me at one point but she got up and went back to the road and jsut left me to cry, to mourn for the best friend i always loved, he's being gone for over 6 months now, and i miss him even more each day. i placed a flower on his grave, a single white rose, with my final letter to him, i started one... but never finished it when he was alive so i wrote one, with evrything in it, how i felt what had happened, just everything, i suppose what i would tell him ifhe was still here. I thought it would be really eary been at the cemetary, and at first it was.. but when i sat down at Joshies grave the feeling changed, everything just lifted, there was no more eariness just a feeling of warmth, for about ten mins i just sat there i didnt move, i dont even really remember breathing ( i know i did obviously but i dont remember it) i dont remember blinking or anything, i just sat there... then a single tear rolled down my cheek and i just lost it... Ashley (josh's mate) was standing behind me when i started crying.. he was there the night of the accident, he was the only one who wasnt drunk, he kept telling everyone he needed help to get Josh out, but no-one listened to him, he tried to get him out but couldnt by himself.. i feel sorry for Ash now, he must feel so guilty after seeing me crying like that... it was so hard, i remember the last time i saw him, beofre he left for the airport, that one last kiss, one last touch one last hug, i will never ever forget those moments. If theres one thing i never forget thats it. he was so gawjuz, such a sweetie, a real good kid, bit rough around the edges but a softie inside, he made a difference in so many peoples lives, not just mine... I know im not the only person that misses him, and so many more people do.. but the ones that miss him just like me where at the funeral, where with him for the last 3months of his life, i wasnt, i was stuck in melb with no possible way to get up to qld, so they got the chance to say a proper goodbuy, whereas i've been hanging onto him for nearly 8months now.
He was going to be visiting me that weekend, the accident happened the friday night, and he was due to fly down on the saturday night and spend a week with me over the holidays, Debbie was gunna meet him, everyone was gunna meet him, to see who i was raving on about all the time...
I really miss him, and nothing will ever bring him back, but i love him with all my heart and i hope that he knew that when he passed on....
Love you mate!
So yeah.. anyway.. Queensland was totally awesoum! i had a great time, hot guys, hot beaches, hot weather.. it was perfect, i have great tannage even more now! Hot schoolies boys might i add! lol.. the schoolies are crazy.. so many of them there like everywhere, i saw some pretty funny shit up there... i tried to get on channel V but it didnt work! But i spoke to danny from Channel V that was pretty coolsoum! lol, i am SOOOO going to plan a huge schoolies bash! Even if it isnt in Queensland.. whos up for it????
But im glad to be back in Meblourne.... i dont think i'de like to live up there.. altho.. give me half a chance and ide jmp at the offer!
so yeah... back to the normal routiene, work and home shit and just blah...
ohh getting my hair done on monday yipppie!!
Cant wait, surfer/rocker mullet ehre i come!
And nose peircingness will take place next weekage sometime aswell!
Anyway... enough said...
comment me yehuh?
And check out my myspace bcuz it rocks and so do i!!
http://myspace.com/_rhino_ Love Tegz XxoO mwah!
[s2]