Comments | teh_nerbert: (без темы)

teh_nerbert

(Untitled)

Oct 07, 2005 00:48

GODDAMMIT! fucking shit, always attacks, when i least expect it. and to think i had a damn fine day.... which turned into a shitty night. maybe its the darkness. maybe its the fact that im all alone. in a house full of people. maybe its the fact that the girl of my dreams... thats it. she exists. thats why i feel like this. the fact that i know ( Read more... )

Comments 5

midnightbeloved October 7 2005, 15:40:51 UTC

I'm sorry to cause so much pain. I really do love being around you Chris, and seeing you, and beign friends. I promise, you'll meet someone else and love someone else

teh_nerbert October 7 2005, 19:25:40 UTC

yeah, yeah, yeah. supposedly.
but i dont want to love someone else. and i cant.
dont you think that i would stop all these fucking feelings, if i could. but whatever i do i cant. it never goes away. it only moves to the back of my mind. and very rarely at that.

and it doesnt help that i have never experienced anything remotley like this. i dont know how to deal with this shyte.

why couldnt i have had a chance? if what you think would have happened then at least i probably wouldnt feel like this. it could have been over long ago. but no..

i hope that someday you find someone who loves you as i do. that you can love as much. that will make you as happy as i wish i could.
that, believe it or not, would make me happy.

midnightbeloved October 8 2005, 04:49:44 UTC

You really have a way of making me feel more terrible than anyone else does ( ... )

teh_nerbert October 8 2005, 06:51:14 UTC

i have never gotten angry with you. ever. even if it seems like it. i am mad, at myself, for not being able to do anything about this. but never you. and im sorry that i make you feel so bad. nothing else will ever be said to you, about this. im sorry i ever said anything to you about it in the first place. if i would have known what it would have done, then i wouldnt have.

i am an idiot. for forgetting to think, in one of the few times that i chose to speak. im sorry.

midnightbeloved October 8 2005, 16:25:16 UTC

Chris, you're not an idiot.

You don't have to quit talking about it, that's not what hurts....it just hurts when you seem a bit more angry with it. That's all I mean.