Exactly how "out there" do I need to get?

Jun 04, 2009 00:25

I was talking on the phone with a friend (the one I had the bet with a few days back), and she commented that I just need to "get out there" to finally meet someone ( Read more... )

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Comments 11

theblacklodge June 4 2009, 05:11:37 UTC
I'm not exactly sure what you aren't doing. You definitely are "out there".

Maybe it's this. When I was single, a lot of guys I talked to told me I had an "unapproachable" vibe. I was also told a LOT that I looked mad. Maybe it's just the aura you're putting off.

That doesn't mean you should be Mr. Sunshine Day or anything. Then I'd have to smack you. But maybe think about how you come off to other people. I'm not saying you are coming off as "leave me alone" or whatever, though.

I do know this. Whoever catches and holds your heart forever is one lucky lady. You are an amazing catch. Don't write that you're not because, again, I will smack you.

love
melissa

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tekmagika June 4 2009, 15:05:35 UTC
Yeah it's hard to tell with that. No one has specifically told me that I seem unapproachable (and it's certainly different for women than it is for men).

I don't think I'm unapproachable, but anything is possible.

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jenny June 4 2009, 17:59:08 UTC
This is the closest to my mindset. Except replace "unapproachable" with "serious applicants only need apply". You want the entire enchilada, and while a lot of women claim that is one of those features they really want in a man (commitment), I think until someone is really ready for what that truly means it can be intimidating to come across that in another individual.

I value that you don't want to settle. I'm sure you could find you a fuck buddy, but I know that once the loins were satiated, the heart would still be a cavity of longing.

FWIW, I too have gone years between serious relationships. I tried to value that time where I could work on me, where I didn't have anyone else dictating my time (trust me, that is something that can be sorely lost once it's gone, even if you love the reason for the change).

Hang in there, it'll be worth it in the end.

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tekmagika June 4 2009, 18:13:18 UTC
Good advice.

I'm definitely there as far as being slightly picky. Trying not to be too picky, of course, but you want to maintain standards for yourself. And by that I mean that it wouldn't be fair to myself or anyone else to just accept the first thing that comes along regardless of how right or wrong it may be for me.

Yeah I ended a fuck buddy situation a few months ago for variety of reasons (the one you pointed out being one of them).

In the last three years I've seen four women in a romantic context. Actively dated two of those. But neither worked out into a serious thing.

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hisbeauty June 4 2009, 05:12:25 UTC
We could be twins!

If you find the answer I would love to know :)

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tekmagika June 4 2009, 15:06:15 UTC
If I find an answer that works for everyone, I'm writing a book and getting rich.

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burlapdragon June 4 2009, 07:40:57 UTC
Are you actually approaching women with interest?

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tekmagika June 4 2009, 15:08:56 UTC
I do, in a matter of speaking. I mean, I don't ask out every single woman I come across, but I strike up conversations ... introduce myself ... try to get to know people. But either I'm horrible at determining interest, or there just hasn't been any interest in those I've met.

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burlapdragon June 4 2009, 22:05:48 UTC
Do you ask any of them that you might have a POSSIBLE interest in out to dinner? That could be what she means by getting out there.

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