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Wishing you were somehow here again - Phantom of the Opera
It was 7 years ago today that Ruth was hit by the truck that killed her, although it took another week for her body to die. I have listened to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack countless times over the years and the words to this song just leapt out at me today. It so fits how I feel right now. It’s also bittersweet because it was Ruth who first ( Read more... ) -
Grief
I dream of you,
And wake up smiling.
Then reality hits
With a sudden searing pain
I remember that you are gone,
Gone except for memories,
And dreams.
In vain I try to sleep again,
“Please” I plead silently
“Just one more dream”.
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feeling normal again
I am finally feeling good again. I woke up this morning actually looking forward to the day, of course it does help that it's friday and payday. :) I actually want to go do something this weekend instead of laying on the couch with the curtains closed. *sigh of relief* -
more poetry
Grey shadows,
Swirling, tumbling.
Confusion.
Red streaks,
Endless, overwhelming,
Pain.
Black streaks,
Powerful, frightening,
Anger.
Brown shadows,
Growing, incomprehensible,
Fear.
Soft blues,
Elusive, fragile,
Hope.
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middle of the night poetry
Oh Lord,
Can you hear me?
Can you hear the words I cannot speak,
All the things that should be said.
Can you hear the silent screams?
The anguish of my doubts,
The piercing fear.
Can you hear the tears in the night?
The soul tearing sobs,
Breath stealing pain.
Can you hear my heart breaking?
Can you hear the muffled moans of despair,
Heart crushing ( Read more... ) -
Relief
*Doing the happy dance!* I think the new antipsychotics are starting to work. I can still hear voices but they pretty much all sound as if they are in the next room which is much more ignorable. The voices that were telling me I need to die are mostly quiet. I can actually concentrate for more than 10 minutes at a time and I even accomplished a ( Read more... ) -
More poetry
Hmmm....I just figured out how to change themes - this could be fun!
OK - just to make it clear before anyone reads this next poem. I have no intentions of jumping off bridges or anything else equally stupid. The poem more comes from the frustration of having no silence for the last several weeks.
The constant hum of insanity in my ears ( Read more... ) -
living la vida bipolar
I decided to start writing this because people keep asking me what it's like to be bipolar. I guess this is going to be a combination of prose & poetry mostly because I can frequently express myself better with poetry. I don't know if anyone will ever read this but if it helps one person to understand bipolar & mental illness will be worth it (boy ( Read more... ) -
first entry
Hmmmm.....I have never blogged before.
I was reading a friend's blog on this site and the more I've looked around the more I thought it looked like fun! Of course now that I have it all set up I can't think of anything to write about. *shrug*.
The worst thing that happened to me today was that I had to get up when the alarm went off. The best ( Read more... )