first disappointment of the week ( Read more... )

tonight i felt like a japanese school girl ( Read more... )

sometimes it just seems a little too hard,
watching at everyone coast through life,
but no one ever claimed this would be easy
...or that it really is easy for anyone

i walked around town for about a hour today ( Read more... )

"Don’t talk about anything else," she said. Don’t mention another book, song or film. For I’ll forever think of you when I think of them. And that would be too much. To contaminate the sustenance of my life, all that drives me. The more contact I have with the creators, the more I can’t live with their creative outcomes and their inspirations. ( Read more... )

you wouldn't believe me if i told you
so i just won't...

yesterday's chain of events of up, down and all around.
i have this amazing handful of guys that are floating in and out of my life.
i don't know what that means for me, but it's been pretty fucking reassuring and downright fun.
who knows where this all leads to but i'll go with it...

i gave it all up
but a few pills now
don't have enough energy to move toward bed
my best friend is under the weather right now
vodka and beer
i love her to death but worry....
i wish i made more sense now

i'm tired. i'm tired of exerting effort.
not in the psychological sense, of toil and struggle.
i'm simply physically tired.
i just want to lay on my carpet forever, eating fruit.
i don't want to shower.
i don't want to think about school.
i basically want to act like a five year-old.
and what's so horrible of that?

it was cold outside, but i could still discern that cold, empty feeling in my chest, hollow. i thought about him, but only in an abstract sense. the looming meaning distracting from all the individual moments. i tried to think what i'd say to his dad, if i saw him. i could feel a lack of purpose in my muscles, hanging limp. no one should have to ( Read more... )

i have a year lease ( Read more... )