Guard Raised
Title: Guard Raised
Pairing: Phoenix/Edgeworth
Rating: Teen - just some kissing, nothing serious.
Word Count: 3,087
Synopsis: [Sequel to Defences Down] Following his in-jacuzzi activities with Edgeworth the night before, Phoenix has to come to terms with his actions, but things always seem a little different the morning after...
Phoenix drifted up into the realms of awakeness gradually. The bed was warm and soft, so it was a bit of a slow process.
What’s the time… he turned over onto one side, opening one bleary eye to squint at the alarm clock on the bedside table.
10.30AM
“I’M LATE FOR COURT!” he threw the covers off, scrambling out of bed, but he got one foot caught up in the sheet which sent him onto the floor with a loud thud. “Ow, shit, I’m late! I’m late-”
“For heaven’s sake, Wright, it’s a Saturday!”
Phoenix had just disentangled himself and was about to jump up and tear out the door when the words hit home.
“It is? Wait- E-Edgeworth?!”
He looked down and realized he was completely stark naked; he whirled around to catch sight of the sleepy prosecutor sitting up in the double bed in a pair of pink silk pyjamas, and his eyes went saucer-wide.
“Oh for the love of God,” Edgeworth began on seeing his face, “don’t start screa-“
“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Edgeworth groaned, clapping his hands over his ears and wriggling back under the covers again, turning over onto his front and pulling the pillow over his head. He stayed like that for a minute or two - Phoenix seemed to have an incredible lung capacity - then the noise abruptly ceased. Waiting a few cautious seconds, he removed the pillow from over his ears, turning to look. Phoenix was nowhere to be seen. Really and truly, he ought to get up and look for the man, but… well, there wasn’t a lot he could do for Phoenix right now, not after last night.
He’d tipped the balance and it was what Phoenix had wanted at the time, but as Edgeworth had expected, things looked different for Phoenix in the rational light of the morning after. He probably needed time to think it over. The bed seemed a little colder without Phoenix sleeping there next to him. It had been the most refreshing night’s sleep he’d had in a long time, despite having to shove Phoenix over to make room in the bed - not that the defense attorney had woken up at all. He looked at the empty space next to him, sheets still rumpled from Phoenix’s hurried exit out of the bed. He straightened the sheets and replaced the blanket, then turned over and put his head back down on the pillow. He knew it wasn’t good to try and guess what Phoenix would do next, given how unpredictable the man was in court, but he had a feeling that this would be the first and last time he’d ever share any kind of erotic encounter with him. Edgeworth went back to sleep with a sigh.
Phoenix’s first instinct had been to flee, memories of the sordid evening he’d spent in the Jacuzzi with Edgeworth now irreversibly burned into his mind. In those first few minutes of blind panic he probably would have done, had he been able to find his clothes. The Jacuzzi room was clean and tidy, and the pile of clothing he’d unceremoniously dumped in the corner before getting into the Jacuzzi, before all that happened, had disappeared. He’d turned around in a circle, looking all around the room at its pretty tiles, the elegant shower, the sink with its fragrant smelling bar of soap sitting in the dish. Nothing in there that was his. He was trapped - how could he leave this house when he had nothing to wear?
Now he was sitting in the dining room on one of the cushioned mahogany dining chairs, dressed in a crimson bathrobe which was all he’d been able to find to cover up his disgraceful nudity in another man’s house. He had his head resting on his arms on the table, at eye level with the wooden fruit bowl in the middle of the tabletop. The bowl had grapes and bananas carved into the side, and a bunch of real grapes were spilling over the rim. He reached out a hand and picked one, popping it into his mouth. It was seedless. As if Edgeworth would do anything as unsophisticated as spitting out grape seeds.
Edgeworth. His mind seemed to go blank every time he tried to think. All that was left were the memories of the Jacuzzi and a sense of shame. He stared at the fruit bowl some more, tracing the wooden carvings with his finger. He didn’t even have a fruit bowl at home - he just left bananas out on the kitchen bench, apples in the fridge because they kept longer that way… not that he was much of a fruit eater.
Why am I thinking about fruit at a time like this?
It’s because you’re a fruitcake, Nick!, Maya would’ve said. Maya was a pretty one, but after everything they’d been through together, she was more of a younger sister than any kind of love interest. Mia… well, no point really considering her in that sort of context now - she was a real stunner for looks but thinking about it, he’d never felt anything for her in that way. She was the wise mentor and good friend. College days…
Dahlia, God, I was a fool back then.
He’d been besotted with her simply because she’d noticed him and she was gorgeous. He owed Mia a lot for getting him out of that one, not that he’d made it easy for her in his rose-tinted view of the world. There’d been a few other girls back then, but none of them he’d stayed with for very long - it was just a bit of fun, a bit of fooling around before he lost interest and moved on.
Not one serious girlfriend, now I think about it. I always thought I was just waiting for the right girl to come along-
His mind suddenly went blank again, as if he’d hit some kind of internal wall preventing him taking that line of thought any further. He sagged dejectedly. He just wasn’t able to handle thinking about it right now. He looked up at the clock, it was just after 11AM. Had that much time passed already? No sign of Edgeworth - why hadn’t he been pursued after screaming in Edgeworth’s face like that? Phoenix was secretly relieved, he didn’t want to see Edgeworth right now. He felt very fragile, not up to putting on a front and acting like nothing had changed.
I should get out of here…but where could my clothes be?
Avoiding the bedroom upstairs, he searched the house. He found a study filled with books and files, many of the files were old but some of the books were even older. He found a second bathroom, much smaller but still ornately tiled with fluffy towels on the rails. He found the spare room, which was empty aside from a futon rolled out on the floor. Then he found the laundry, and through the window he could see his blue suit hanging on the washing line next to a crimson one, flapping in the wind. The garden was large and there was a high wooden fence surrounding it. The beds were neatly planted and there was a small fish pond with netting over it in one corner. He could easily go and retrieve his suit, were it not for one obstacle…
Edgeworth has a dog?!
In a brightly painted kennel under a tree, a collie dog lay sleeping peacefully. It didn’t take much of a noise to wake up a dog, did it?
What do I do now?
“Your suit should be dry now.”
Phoenix jumped, spinning round to see Edgeworth standing in the doorway of the laundry, fully dressed in casual yet smart clothes and holding a set of keys in his hand.
“Shall I fetch it? It’s cold today so you shouldn’t go out there in bare feet.”
Edgeworth’s expression was neutral, Phoenix couldn’t tell what thoughts were going through the prosecutor’s head at the sight of him wearing a bathrobe and clearly nothing else. He went bright red and nodded wordlessly. Edgeworth walked past him and was about to unlock the back door when Phoenix blurted out,
“Why did you wash my clothes? I could’ve-“
“Washed them yourself? Yes, naturally, but think of it as a saving on your water bill as well as a way of preventing you running off before I had the chance to say anything to you.”
Phoenix opened his mouth to object, but Edgeworth had already unlocked the back door and disappeared out into the garden. Frustrated, he looked out the window. Edgeworth was by the washing line and the dog was bouncing around him excitedly. It ran off towards the kennel and returned with a tennis ball which it placed next to Edgeworth’s foot. Edgeworth appeared to ignore it, unpegging the washing and throwing it over one arm. The dog crouched a metre away, waiting expectantly. Edgeworth’s foot suddenly moved and the dog shot forward, but his foot stopped without hitting the ball, and the dog shuffled back into crouching position, waiting again. This happened a few more times until Edgeworth had unpegged the last bit of washing, his cravat, then with a skilled flick of his foot he kicked the ball high up in the air and the dog launched itself skywards to catch it. Ball in mouth it landed again and trotted up to Edgeworth as he walked back towards the house with the washing. Edgeworth stopped to pat it on the head, then pointed towards the kennel. Obediently, still carrying the ball, it bounded back towards the kennel and lay back down again inside it.
Edgeworth entered the laundry and gave Phoenix his suit.
“Did you have anything you wanted to say to me?” he asked. “Or ask me?”
“Anything to say…? I can barely deal with my own thoughts right now, never mind looking at you, never mind SAYING anything to you,” Phoenix’s voice wobbled a little and he was staring at the floor. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I don’t know what possessed me-“
“You don’t think in those kinds of situations, Phoenix - you do what feels right.”
“Well, it doesn’t feel right now!” Phoenix tried to push past Edgeworth into the corridor, hugging his suit to his chest, but Edgeworth caught him by the arm.
“Before you run off, at least let me say this-“
“Let me go!” Phoenix struggled against him but the years of swimming and Wu Shu had given Edgeworth a strong grip.
“Listen to me, Phoenix, if it doesn’t feel right the day after that’s absolutely fine. If you want to write it off and have it never happen again that’s fine too, but remember that at the time you enjoyed it as much as I did and you were the one who begged me not to stop. So don’t hold it against me, alright? I’m not going to treat you any different in the courtroom, and you shouldn’t let what’s happened affect your behaviour towards me either. Got it?”
“Stop calling me bloody Phoenix then!” In a sudden flurry of movement, gaining extra strength from his frustration, Phoenix wrenched his arm away and slammed the prosecutor up against the wall, his suit dropping to the floor. “It’s all wrong! Don’t you see? My brain can’t deal with it, you calling me by my first name, being in your house, seeing you in casual clothes, waking up in your frickin’ bed-“
“Fine, Wright,” Edgeworth said deliberately. “If you can’t deal with it, if you can’t deal with me, then get changed and leave.”
“That’s easy enough for you to say! I could leave, I could just go now but it’s not going to make it any better is it? You’ve gotten into my head now, Edgeworth, you’ve gotten in there and you’ve messed it up. I can run away from you but I can’t get away from my own thoughts. Even if you’re as insulting to me in court as you were before, I’m not going to forget what it was like to...”
A variety of emotions flitted across Phoenix’s face at that point. Edgeworth read them all like words on a printed page - shock, shame, worry, frustration, yet also an element of resignation. He felt Phoenix’s grip on his shoulders weaken.
“Everything’s changed.” Phoenix stopped pushing Edgeworth against the wall, his hands dropping to hang loosely by his sides, head drooping as he leant against the washing machine. “The worst thing is that I brought it on myself. I can’t blame you because you would’ve stopped if I’d asked… but all the same I wish you hadn’t started it at all.”
Edgeworth squatted down and retrieved Phoenix’s suit, offering it to him again. His face was softened by an apologetic expression.
“It’s not the easiest situation to resolve,” he said slowly, “and perhaps if I’d known your reaction to this ahead of time I might have thought more carefully before initiating anything. All the same, as I said before, in those situations you do what feels right instead of thinking too much about it. It felt right for me - I’m only sorry that you’re regretting it.”
Phoenix took the suit, draping it over his shoulder. There was an awkward pause.
“I… didn’t mean it like that,” Phoenix mumbled; he couldn’t look Edgeworth in the eye. “I don’t know what I mean, my brain’s not functioning very well right now.”
“Does it ever?” Edgeworth said with a laconic smirk.
“Funny haha. No, I… shit, what am I trying to say here?” his hands bundled into fists and began drumming the sides of the washing machine. “Um…”
“Stop doing that, you’ll dent it.”
“Ah, sorry!” Phoenix clasped his hands together in front of him, going a little red. “I… it’s not - oh, Goddammit, can I even bloody say it - it’s not. It’s not, it’s not regret. There, I said it. Embarrassing, hell yes; shameful, more than a little; odd, definitely, but regret, no. When I said ‘I wish you hadn’t started it’, I really meant… um, more like ‘I wish I didn’t have to worry about it’. Does that even make sense?” he asked helplessly.
“Er…” Edgeworth blinked. “About ten percent of it.”
“Okay,” Phoenix breathed in, paused for a moment, thinking of how to reword it. “What if - what if I said that my mind is having a hard time of getting around the fact that the best kiss I’ve ever had came from a guy instead of a girl? Does that describe how screwed up my head is?”
“Well, thankyou for the compliment,” Edgeworth did a half-bow. “When you put it like that, I think I’m beginning to understand how you’re feeling. If I may dare to summarise: you’d do it again if you could carry on being straight afterwards. You wish you didn’t have to worry about the consequences, namely coming to terms with the fact that you’re bisexual at the very least, if not gay altogether.”
Phoenix gave him the rabbit-caught-in-the-car-headlights look, edging sideways away from the prosecutor. His thoughts sounded so much more mortifying when voiced, and it was even worse coming from Edgeworth himself.
“It’s awful, isn’t it?” he said almost inaudibly, staring at his bare feet on the tiled floor. “Like having your cake and eating it too. I’m really sorry.”
Warm hands were laid on his shoulders.
“Look at me, Wright.”
“I can’t.”
“Look. At. Me.”
“No, Edgeworth, I know what you’re going to do next - the minute I lift my head you’re going to kiss me to try and make me feel better and show me it’s not so bad to want more of it.”
“You… er… caught me out, there,” Edgeworth admitted.
“I’m a bit scared…” Phoenix’s shoulders quivered a little under Edgeworth’s hands. “I want you to kiss me but I don’t want to be gay. I-I don’t want to be done from behind!” This last sentence was a wail. “I’ll bleed everywhere and it’ll hurt and-“
Edgeworth stared at him, momentarily lost for words, then stammered,
“You… oh, for goodness… just, shush.”
Phoenix found himself enveloped in a hug. It was warm, and confusing, but it made him feel a bit better, so he put his arms around Edgeworth in return.
“You’re silly,” Edgeworth murmured, resting his head on Phoenix’s shoulder. “It’s not all about buttsex, you know?”
“Sorry,” Phoenix sniffled, burying his nose in Edgeworth’s jacket.
“I won’t do anything like that to your arse if you don’t want me to, I promise.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
A pause.
“Wait, how did we end up like this?” Phoenix asked suddenly, lifting his head up to see the blank laundry wall in front of him.
Edgeworth stopped resting his head on Phoenix’s broad shoulder, straightening up to face him with an amiable expression.
“Well, you looked like you needed a hug,” he said easily. “I can make it a manly hug if you want,” he added, slapping Phoenix on the back briskly.
“No need to break my spine!”
“Well, do you feel better now?” Edgeworth asked.
“Well, kind of-“
“Kind of, but not completely, hmm?”
Phoenix knew it was coming but this time he let it happen. Edgeworth’s lips brushed against his, nibbling on his bottom lip for a minute before sealing him into a passionate kiss that no girl could hope to imitate with the same electrifying effect.
“That’s definitely better,” he said around Edgeworth’s lips.
“Don’t believe you,” Edgeworth’s tongue slipped into Phoenix’s mouth. “I think you want to feel even better than that,” his words were indistinct but his kissing said it all. They weren’t going to stop any time soon - after all, it was a Saturday…
End.
Pairing: Phoenix/Edgeworth
Rating: Teen - just some kissing, nothing serious.
Word Count: 3,087
Synopsis: [Sequel to Defences Down] Following his in-jacuzzi activities with Edgeworth the night before, Phoenix has to come to terms with his actions, but things always seem a little different the morning after...
Phoenix drifted up into the realms of awakeness gradually. The bed was warm and soft, so it was a bit of a slow process.
What’s the time… he turned over onto one side, opening one bleary eye to squint at the alarm clock on the bedside table.
10.30AM
“I’M LATE FOR COURT!” he threw the covers off, scrambling out of bed, but he got one foot caught up in the sheet which sent him onto the floor with a loud thud. “Ow, shit, I’m late! I’m late-”
“For heaven’s sake, Wright, it’s a Saturday!”
Phoenix had just disentangled himself and was about to jump up and tear out the door when the words hit home.
“It is? Wait- E-Edgeworth?!”
He looked down and realized he was completely stark naked; he whirled around to catch sight of the sleepy prosecutor sitting up in the double bed in a pair of pink silk pyjamas, and his eyes went saucer-wide.
“Oh for the love of God,” Edgeworth began on seeing his face, “don’t start screa-“
“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Edgeworth groaned, clapping his hands over his ears and wriggling back under the covers again, turning over onto his front and pulling the pillow over his head. He stayed like that for a minute or two - Phoenix seemed to have an incredible lung capacity - then the noise abruptly ceased. Waiting a few cautious seconds, he removed the pillow from over his ears, turning to look. Phoenix was nowhere to be seen. Really and truly, he ought to get up and look for the man, but… well, there wasn’t a lot he could do for Phoenix right now, not after last night.
He’d tipped the balance and it was what Phoenix had wanted at the time, but as Edgeworth had expected, things looked different for Phoenix in the rational light of the morning after. He probably needed time to think it over. The bed seemed a little colder without Phoenix sleeping there next to him. It had been the most refreshing night’s sleep he’d had in a long time, despite having to shove Phoenix over to make room in the bed - not that the defense attorney had woken up at all. He looked at the empty space next to him, sheets still rumpled from Phoenix’s hurried exit out of the bed. He straightened the sheets and replaced the blanket, then turned over and put his head back down on the pillow. He knew it wasn’t good to try and guess what Phoenix would do next, given how unpredictable the man was in court, but he had a feeling that this would be the first and last time he’d ever share any kind of erotic encounter with him. Edgeworth went back to sleep with a sigh.
Phoenix’s first instinct had been to flee, memories of the sordid evening he’d spent in the Jacuzzi with Edgeworth now irreversibly burned into his mind. In those first few minutes of blind panic he probably would have done, had he been able to find his clothes. The Jacuzzi room was clean and tidy, and the pile of clothing he’d unceremoniously dumped in the corner before getting into the Jacuzzi, before all that happened, had disappeared. He’d turned around in a circle, looking all around the room at its pretty tiles, the elegant shower, the sink with its fragrant smelling bar of soap sitting in the dish. Nothing in there that was his. He was trapped - how could he leave this house when he had nothing to wear?
Now he was sitting in the dining room on one of the cushioned mahogany dining chairs, dressed in a crimson bathrobe which was all he’d been able to find to cover up his disgraceful nudity in another man’s house. He had his head resting on his arms on the table, at eye level with the wooden fruit bowl in the middle of the tabletop. The bowl had grapes and bananas carved into the side, and a bunch of real grapes were spilling over the rim. He reached out a hand and picked one, popping it into his mouth. It was seedless. As if Edgeworth would do anything as unsophisticated as spitting out grape seeds.
Edgeworth. His mind seemed to go blank every time he tried to think. All that was left were the memories of the Jacuzzi and a sense of shame. He stared at the fruit bowl some more, tracing the wooden carvings with his finger. He didn’t even have a fruit bowl at home - he just left bananas out on the kitchen bench, apples in the fridge because they kept longer that way… not that he was much of a fruit eater.
Why am I thinking about fruit at a time like this?
It’s because you’re a fruitcake, Nick!, Maya would’ve said. Maya was a pretty one, but after everything they’d been through together, she was more of a younger sister than any kind of love interest. Mia… well, no point really considering her in that sort of context now - she was a real stunner for looks but thinking about it, he’d never felt anything for her in that way. She was the wise mentor and good friend. College days…
Dahlia, God, I was a fool back then.
He’d been besotted with her simply because she’d noticed him and she was gorgeous. He owed Mia a lot for getting him out of that one, not that he’d made it easy for her in his rose-tinted view of the world. There’d been a few other girls back then, but none of them he’d stayed with for very long - it was just a bit of fun, a bit of fooling around before he lost interest and moved on.
Not one serious girlfriend, now I think about it. I always thought I was just waiting for the right girl to come along-
His mind suddenly went blank again, as if he’d hit some kind of internal wall preventing him taking that line of thought any further. He sagged dejectedly. He just wasn’t able to handle thinking about it right now. He looked up at the clock, it was just after 11AM. Had that much time passed already? No sign of Edgeworth - why hadn’t he been pursued after screaming in Edgeworth’s face like that? Phoenix was secretly relieved, he didn’t want to see Edgeworth right now. He felt very fragile, not up to putting on a front and acting like nothing had changed.
I should get out of here…but where could my clothes be?
Avoiding the bedroom upstairs, he searched the house. He found a study filled with books and files, many of the files were old but some of the books were even older. He found a second bathroom, much smaller but still ornately tiled with fluffy towels on the rails. He found the spare room, which was empty aside from a futon rolled out on the floor. Then he found the laundry, and through the window he could see his blue suit hanging on the washing line next to a crimson one, flapping in the wind. The garden was large and there was a high wooden fence surrounding it. The beds were neatly planted and there was a small fish pond with netting over it in one corner. He could easily go and retrieve his suit, were it not for one obstacle…
Edgeworth has a dog?!
In a brightly painted kennel under a tree, a collie dog lay sleeping peacefully. It didn’t take much of a noise to wake up a dog, did it?
What do I do now?
“Your suit should be dry now.”
Phoenix jumped, spinning round to see Edgeworth standing in the doorway of the laundry, fully dressed in casual yet smart clothes and holding a set of keys in his hand.
“Shall I fetch it? It’s cold today so you shouldn’t go out there in bare feet.”
Edgeworth’s expression was neutral, Phoenix couldn’t tell what thoughts were going through the prosecutor’s head at the sight of him wearing a bathrobe and clearly nothing else. He went bright red and nodded wordlessly. Edgeworth walked past him and was about to unlock the back door when Phoenix blurted out,
“Why did you wash my clothes? I could’ve-“
“Washed them yourself? Yes, naturally, but think of it as a saving on your water bill as well as a way of preventing you running off before I had the chance to say anything to you.”
Phoenix opened his mouth to object, but Edgeworth had already unlocked the back door and disappeared out into the garden. Frustrated, he looked out the window. Edgeworth was by the washing line and the dog was bouncing around him excitedly. It ran off towards the kennel and returned with a tennis ball which it placed next to Edgeworth’s foot. Edgeworth appeared to ignore it, unpegging the washing and throwing it over one arm. The dog crouched a metre away, waiting expectantly. Edgeworth’s foot suddenly moved and the dog shot forward, but his foot stopped without hitting the ball, and the dog shuffled back into crouching position, waiting again. This happened a few more times until Edgeworth had unpegged the last bit of washing, his cravat, then with a skilled flick of his foot he kicked the ball high up in the air and the dog launched itself skywards to catch it. Ball in mouth it landed again and trotted up to Edgeworth as he walked back towards the house with the washing. Edgeworth stopped to pat it on the head, then pointed towards the kennel. Obediently, still carrying the ball, it bounded back towards the kennel and lay back down again inside it.
Edgeworth entered the laundry and gave Phoenix his suit.
“Did you have anything you wanted to say to me?” he asked. “Or ask me?”
“Anything to say…? I can barely deal with my own thoughts right now, never mind looking at you, never mind SAYING anything to you,” Phoenix’s voice wobbled a little and he was staring at the floor. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I don’t know what possessed me-“
“You don’t think in those kinds of situations, Phoenix - you do what feels right.”
“Well, it doesn’t feel right now!” Phoenix tried to push past Edgeworth into the corridor, hugging his suit to his chest, but Edgeworth caught him by the arm.
“Before you run off, at least let me say this-“
“Let me go!” Phoenix struggled against him but the years of swimming and Wu Shu had given Edgeworth a strong grip.
“Listen to me, Phoenix, if it doesn’t feel right the day after that’s absolutely fine. If you want to write it off and have it never happen again that’s fine too, but remember that at the time you enjoyed it as much as I did and you were the one who begged me not to stop. So don’t hold it against me, alright? I’m not going to treat you any different in the courtroom, and you shouldn’t let what’s happened affect your behaviour towards me either. Got it?”
“Stop calling me bloody Phoenix then!” In a sudden flurry of movement, gaining extra strength from his frustration, Phoenix wrenched his arm away and slammed the prosecutor up against the wall, his suit dropping to the floor. “It’s all wrong! Don’t you see? My brain can’t deal with it, you calling me by my first name, being in your house, seeing you in casual clothes, waking up in your frickin’ bed-“
“Fine, Wright,” Edgeworth said deliberately. “If you can’t deal with it, if you can’t deal with me, then get changed and leave.”
“That’s easy enough for you to say! I could leave, I could just go now but it’s not going to make it any better is it? You’ve gotten into my head now, Edgeworth, you’ve gotten in there and you’ve messed it up. I can run away from you but I can’t get away from my own thoughts. Even if you’re as insulting to me in court as you were before, I’m not going to forget what it was like to...”
A variety of emotions flitted across Phoenix’s face at that point. Edgeworth read them all like words on a printed page - shock, shame, worry, frustration, yet also an element of resignation. He felt Phoenix’s grip on his shoulders weaken.
“Everything’s changed.” Phoenix stopped pushing Edgeworth against the wall, his hands dropping to hang loosely by his sides, head drooping as he leant against the washing machine. “The worst thing is that I brought it on myself. I can’t blame you because you would’ve stopped if I’d asked… but all the same I wish you hadn’t started it at all.”
Edgeworth squatted down and retrieved Phoenix’s suit, offering it to him again. His face was softened by an apologetic expression.
“It’s not the easiest situation to resolve,” he said slowly, “and perhaps if I’d known your reaction to this ahead of time I might have thought more carefully before initiating anything. All the same, as I said before, in those situations you do what feels right instead of thinking too much about it. It felt right for me - I’m only sorry that you’re regretting it.”
Phoenix took the suit, draping it over his shoulder. There was an awkward pause.
“I… didn’t mean it like that,” Phoenix mumbled; he couldn’t look Edgeworth in the eye. “I don’t know what I mean, my brain’s not functioning very well right now.”
“Does it ever?” Edgeworth said with a laconic smirk.
“Funny haha. No, I… shit, what am I trying to say here?” his hands bundled into fists and began drumming the sides of the washing machine. “Um…”
“Stop doing that, you’ll dent it.”
“Ah, sorry!” Phoenix clasped his hands together in front of him, going a little red. “I… it’s not - oh, Goddammit, can I even bloody say it - it’s not. It’s not, it’s not regret. There, I said it. Embarrassing, hell yes; shameful, more than a little; odd, definitely, but regret, no. When I said ‘I wish you hadn’t started it’, I really meant… um, more like ‘I wish I didn’t have to worry about it’. Does that even make sense?” he asked helplessly.
“Er…” Edgeworth blinked. “About ten percent of it.”
“Okay,” Phoenix breathed in, paused for a moment, thinking of how to reword it. “What if - what if I said that my mind is having a hard time of getting around the fact that the best kiss I’ve ever had came from a guy instead of a girl? Does that describe how screwed up my head is?”
“Well, thankyou for the compliment,” Edgeworth did a half-bow. “When you put it like that, I think I’m beginning to understand how you’re feeling. If I may dare to summarise: you’d do it again if you could carry on being straight afterwards. You wish you didn’t have to worry about the consequences, namely coming to terms with the fact that you’re bisexual at the very least, if not gay altogether.”
Phoenix gave him the rabbit-caught-in-the-car-headlights look, edging sideways away from the prosecutor. His thoughts sounded so much more mortifying when voiced, and it was even worse coming from Edgeworth himself.
“It’s awful, isn’t it?” he said almost inaudibly, staring at his bare feet on the tiled floor. “Like having your cake and eating it too. I’m really sorry.”
Warm hands were laid on his shoulders.
“Look at me, Wright.”
“I can’t.”
“Look. At. Me.”
“No, Edgeworth, I know what you’re going to do next - the minute I lift my head you’re going to kiss me to try and make me feel better and show me it’s not so bad to want more of it.”
“You… er… caught me out, there,” Edgeworth admitted.
“I’m a bit scared…” Phoenix’s shoulders quivered a little under Edgeworth’s hands. “I want you to kiss me but I don’t want to be gay. I-I don’t want to be done from behind!” This last sentence was a wail. “I’ll bleed everywhere and it’ll hurt and-“
Edgeworth stared at him, momentarily lost for words, then stammered,
“You… oh, for goodness… just, shush.”
Phoenix found himself enveloped in a hug. It was warm, and confusing, but it made him feel a bit better, so he put his arms around Edgeworth in return.
“You’re silly,” Edgeworth murmured, resting his head on Phoenix’s shoulder. “It’s not all about buttsex, you know?”
“Sorry,” Phoenix sniffled, burying his nose in Edgeworth’s jacket.
“I won’t do anything like that to your arse if you don’t want me to, I promise.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
A pause.
“Wait, how did we end up like this?” Phoenix asked suddenly, lifting his head up to see the blank laundry wall in front of him.
Edgeworth stopped resting his head on Phoenix’s broad shoulder, straightening up to face him with an amiable expression.
“Well, you looked like you needed a hug,” he said easily. “I can make it a manly hug if you want,” he added, slapping Phoenix on the back briskly.
“No need to break my spine!”
“Well, do you feel better now?” Edgeworth asked.
“Well, kind of-“
“Kind of, but not completely, hmm?”
Phoenix knew it was coming but this time he let it happen. Edgeworth’s lips brushed against his, nibbling on his bottom lip for a minute before sealing him into a passionate kiss that no girl could hope to imitate with the same electrifying effect.
“That’s definitely better,” he said around Edgeworth’s lips.
“Don’t believe you,” Edgeworth’s tongue slipped into Phoenix’s mouth. “I think you want to feel even better than that,” his words were indistinct but his kissing said it all. They weren’t going to stop any time soon - after all, it was a Saturday…
End.