Sugar Rush
Title: Sugar Rush
Rating: Gen, Crack
Word Count: 1,893
Synopsis: Edgeworth goes to the German market every Christmas, but this is more than a nostalgia trip...
"Why would I want to go to a German market in Los Angeles, little brother?" Franziska said scornfully. "I can get all the Glühwein and stollen I want in Hanover. A German market in America would be pathetic, disappointing and a waste of time by comparison."
Miles shrugged.
"Suit yourself," he said. "I'll be going, then." He grabbed his coat, pulling it on, and retrieved his car keys from the hook behind the door.
"Miles Edgeworth!" Franziska said commandingly from the comfy armchair by the fire. "Did I say you were to leave without me?"
Miles didn't even bother to respond to that - he just lifted Franziska's coat from the stand, holding it out towards her on one finger.
Franziska took her time - she slowly stood up, stretched, straightened her skirt and picked up her whip. Then she strolled towards him and relieved him of her coat with a flourish, putting it on and doing up the belt. Miles switched on the security system with a few taps of the keypad by the door, then they left.
***
The market was crowded and the smell of grilling sausages was in the air. Miles hadn't had any lunch and he was fairly hungry. The square was dotted with little wooden huts, that almost resembled gingerbread houses with fake snow on the tops. Franziska wrinkled her nose up with disgust at the sight of it.
"If this were Hanover, little brother, there would be real snow everywhere. And that," she pointed at the big Christmas tree in the centre of the market, "you call that a Christmas tree? That's a mere shrub!"
"You just can't get evergreens like you used to, hm?" Miles said absently - he was scanning the stalls, searching... searching...
There. Between a gingerbread stall and another selling chocolate-covered fruit, there was a bright blue board. Only the first few letters were visible: "HARI-" but that was all he needed to know.
"Little brother," there was a hand gripping his arm. "The pancake stall is that way," she pointed insistently.
"Perchance, dear sister," Miles said nonchalantly, "you wish to sample un citron sucré crépe, s'il vous plait? Very un-Germanic, non?"
Franziska glowered at him, then pointed out in rude German that he knew damn well that German pancakes were better than any rubbish the French could produce, and if he didn't buy her one she'd make sure he would never have Nana Schuber's kaiserschmarrn again when coming to visit.
Miles bought her two. He loved kaiserschmarrn - a rich, caramelised pancake baked in butter and drizzled with plum compote. The thought of losing out on Nana Schuber's, based on a secret recipe handed down through generations of Von Karma nurserymaids, did not even bear contemplating.
Once she was tucking in, Miles said,
"I'm just... going to the toilet. Wait here, I'll be back in a moment."
"Mm," Franziska was busy eating.
Miles vanished into the crowd - in the direction of the toilets, but backtracking on himself until at last, he was by his Mecca.
The HARIBO stall was divided into sections - individual tables that each had three massive, plastic cartons of gummy candy. Miles paused for a moment to breathe in the heady smell of sugar and artificial colours. Then he grabbed the scoop and paper bag, and went straight for his favourites. He had his yearly plundering of this stall down to a fine art - the cola bottles covered in sugar, the little cherries, a careful minute scooping the right combination of gummy bears (he liked the red ones best), and a generous helping of the peaches on top. Unlike others buying from the stall, he didn't bat an eyelid at the weigh-in at the till, and handed over his twenty-five dollars without comment. They were expensive, buying them like this, because of the weight - but it was his one vice at Christmas and he gave into it freely.
He hurried through the crowds back towards the toilets - unsurprisingly, there was a queue, so he couldn't enjoy his stash there. Franziska would be wondering where he was, he knew, but there was no way he could carry them around in his bag for the rest of the day without having sampled at least a few of them. They were best on the day they were bought - there were a lot there, but he had no intention of them lasting out the week. After all, they started going hard by then and just didn't taste the same. He hid himself near the mulled wine stand and opened the bag with eager, grabby fingers. The peaches were on top, and he snagged a few with his fingers, shovelling them into his mouth while looking all around him for any sign of Franziska. Oh, the taste was phenomenal! They tasted and smelled just like real peaches, and the juice ran over his tongue. Looking in the bag he could see a single red gummy bear poking out from beneath a peach, and he showed no mercy - it was despatched within moments. And was that a lemonade one there? They were his second favourite - that was gone too. He spotted another red one. Well, he couldn't leave that there, and though he couldn't have too many cola bottles at once because his tongue would split, there was no harm in having a couple...
Miles blinked, looking in the packet. There were no more red gummy bears? It seemed that he had eaten them all. The paper bag was considerably lighter than it was before, and he felt that heavy feeling in his stomach that meant he'd eaten one too many, but the sugar rush was starting to set in and he honestly didn't give a damn. Though he ought to go and find Franziska, really...
"Edgeworth!"
Miles stiffened, turning slowly. Phoenix Wright was waving at him. He had a massive bratwurst hot dog in one hand, and he was accompanied by Maya and Pearl. Maya was eating an enormous burger that was shedding fried onions onto the ground, and Pearl was licking the chocolate off her kebab stick of grapes and banana pieces. She had a gingerbread heart hanging from a ribbon around her neck, still in its shrinkwrap.
"W-Wright," Miles hurriedly pocketed his little paper bag and stepped out from behind the mulled wine stall, trying to act like he hadn't been skulking behind there at all, no, not in the slightest. "I didn't expect to see you here! Haha, what a funny coincidence."
"What were you doing behind that stall, Mr. Edgeworth?" Pearl asked innocently, chewing on a grape.
"Ah-! Nothing, nothing, haha," Miles folded his arms, trying to hide the shake of his hands. "I'm just, er, having fun! It's a jolly good laugh, all of this, isn't it? Hoho!"
The other three stared at him as if he had grown two heads. Phoenix wasn't sure if it was just the bright sunlight blazing down on them, but Edgeworth's pupils looked rather dilated.
"I haven't seen you around for a few weeks," Phoenix commented. "I heard Franziska was visiting - is she here too or are you just here by yourself?"
"Oh, she's here somewhere," Miles said airily, waving a hand vaguely in the direction of the crowd. "But no matter, she was happily guzzling crepes so I'm sure she's not missing me in the slightest!"
"You're full of the joys of the season, Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya smiled at him.
"Yes," Phoenix agreed. "It's... unusual." He was looking at the prosecutor dubiously.
"Oh, I'm fine! Absolutely fine! Tip top!" Miles knew he sounded a little deranged, but he couldn't seem to help himself. The shock of nearly being caught in the middle of shooting up his sugar fix seemed to have triggered some sort of hyperactive adrenaline rush. He was buzzing!
"You... don't seem quite your-" Phoenix broke off, eyes widening. "Look out!"
"Huh?" Miles turned-
"WOOF!"
Something cannoned into him, knocking him flat.
"Oomph!" he landed on the floor at Phoenix's feet, completely taken by surprise.
"Missile, pal, COME HERE! Leave Mr. Edgeworth!"
Miles felt tugging at his jacket pocket.
"No!" he grabbed for it, but it was too late - wet dog jaws brushed against his hand as they closed around the paper bag, drawing it out of his pocket. "Noooo!"
"Mr. Edgeworth!" he heard Detective Gumshoe's voice above him. "I'm so sorry, boss! Can you get up?"
"Missile? Here, boy!" Maya was calling.
"Mr. Scruffy Detective!" Pearl said delightedly. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, they're a bit short on uniformed cover for the market, so I said me and Missile would do some patrolling! And hoo boy, the market guys sure do look after you while you're on duty!" Gumshoe held up a bratwurst hot dog that was twice the size of Phoenix's, an enormous beam on his face. Then he remembered he was supposed to be helping his boss, so he clamped one end of the hotdog between his jaws and turned to provide assistance.
But Miles was already getting to his feet, looking for the dog - there, a flash of fur by Maya.
"C'mere, mongrel," he yelled, making a dive for Missile. "Give it back!"
Missile darted behind Gumshoe, whimpering.
"Don't you go hiding behind me, pal," Gumshoe looked down at him. "You're a bad dog, knocking down Mr. Edgeworth - no more hot dog for you! Huh? What's that you've got there?" Missile dropped the little paper bag into his hand.
"Unhand that candy, you cad!" Miles declared, pointing dramatically at Gumshoe. "Why, I'll duel you for it! Put 'em up!" He put up his fists, beckoning to the detective.
Gumshoe blinked, looking at the paper bag, then at his superior, who had a slightly lop-sided smile on his face and a slightly unfocused, crazed look in his eyes. He looked across at Phoenix, who shrugged, shaking his head - he clearly had no idea what was going on with the man either. So the detective slowly held the paper bag out, at arms length, towards Miles, who was shifting from foot to foot in an antsy fashion with his jukes still up. Miles looked at the bag suspiciously, then his hand shot out and he whipped it from Gumshoe's hand.
"Hahahaha!" Miles pocketed the Haribo triumphantly. "I win!"
"No, Miles Edgeworth, you LOSE!" A whip cracked out from nowhere, and Franziska stepped forward, fury on her face and chocolate sauce around her mouth. "How dare you abandon me in the middle of this excuse for a German market! You've been looting the Haribo stall again, haven't you?"
She went straight for his pocket, producing the paper bag.
"Just as I suspected. You've eaten half the packet already!"
"I certainly have, dear sis," Miles said cheerily. "Well, you know how it goes! Haribo macht Kinder froh und Erwachsene ebenso," he winked at her.
"Erwachsen, my foot - you're nothing more than a child with a sweet tooth, little brother. Are you aware you reek of sugar?" Franziska said sourly. "My teeth are rotting just smelling it!"
"Haha! I need a little sugar to survive Christmas in your company, my dear."
"What did you just say?" Franziska said dangerously.
"Lala," Miles sang, skirting away from her. "Nothing at all~!"
"Don't you sing at me, you sugar-sodden sorry excuse for a fool! Come back here!"
She began chasing him across the square, her whip dancing at his heels. Gumshoe, Phoenix and the two Fey girls watched them go, mystified looks on their faces.
"I don't know what's gotten into him, pals," Gumshoe scratched his head, and Missile barked his agreement.
"Maya," Phoenix murmured, "I don't think we should let Pearl near that candy stall - who knows what they're putting in those things?"
"I dunno," Maya grinned. "But maybe we should buy Mr. Edgeworth some more?"
[End.]
NB: Haribo macht Kinder froh und Erwachsene ebenso is the German Haribo slogan. The English equivalent is: Kids and Grownups love it so, the happy world of Haribo. Erwachsen means adult, hence Franziska's sarky comment XD
Rating: Gen, Crack
Word Count: 1,893
Synopsis: Edgeworth goes to the German market every Christmas, but this is more than a nostalgia trip...
"Why would I want to go to a German market in Los Angeles, little brother?" Franziska said scornfully. "I can get all the Glühwein and stollen I want in Hanover. A German market in America would be pathetic, disappointing and a waste of time by comparison."
Miles shrugged.
"Suit yourself," he said. "I'll be going, then." He grabbed his coat, pulling it on, and retrieved his car keys from the hook behind the door.
"Miles Edgeworth!" Franziska said commandingly from the comfy armchair by the fire. "Did I say you were to leave without me?"
Miles didn't even bother to respond to that - he just lifted Franziska's coat from the stand, holding it out towards her on one finger.
Franziska took her time - she slowly stood up, stretched, straightened her skirt and picked up her whip. Then she strolled towards him and relieved him of her coat with a flourish, putting it on and doing up the belt. Miles switched on the security system with a few taps of the keypad by the door, then they left.
***
The market was crowded and the smell of grilling sausages was in the air. Miles hadn't had any lunch and he was fairly hungry. The square was dotted with little wooden huts, that almost resembled gingerbread houses with fake snow on the tops. Franziska wrinkled her nose up with disgust at the sight of it.
"If this were Hanover, little brother, there would be real snow everywhere. And that," she pointed at the big Christmas tree in the centre of the market, "you call that a Christmas tree? That's a mere shrub!"
"You just can't get evergreens like you used to, hm?" Miles said absently - he was scanning the stalls, searching... searching...
There. Between a gingerbread stall and another selling chocolate-covered fruit, there was a bright blue board. Only the first few letters were visible: "HARI-" but that was all he needed to know.
"Little brother," there was a hand gripping his arm. "The pancake stall is that way," she pointed insistently.
"Perchance, dear sister," Miles said nonchalantly, "you wish to sample un citron sucré crépe, s'il vous plait? Very un-Germanic, non?"
Franziska glowered at him, then pointed out in rude German that he knew damn well that German pancakes were better than any rubbish the French could produce, and if he didn't buy her one she'd make sure he would never have Nana Schuber's kaiserschmarrn again when coming to visit.
Miles bought her two. He loved kaiserschmarrn - a rich, caramelised pancake baked in butter and drizzled with plum compote. The thought of losing out on Nana Schuber's, based on a secret recipe handed down through generations of Von Karma nurserymaids, did not even bear contemplating.
Once she was tucking in, Miles said,
"I'm just... going to the toilet. Wait here, I'll be back in a moment."
"Mm," Franziska was busy eating.
Miles vanished into the crowd - in the direction of the toilets, but backtracking on himself until at last, he was by his Mecca.
The HARIBO stall was divided into sections - individual tables that each had three massive, plastic cartons of gummy candy. Miles paused for a moment to breathe in the heady smell of sugar and artificial colours. Then he grabbed the scoop and paper bag, and went straight for his favourites. He had his yearly plundering of this stall down to a fine art - the cola bottles covered in sugar, the little cherries, a careful minute scooping the right combination of gummy bears (he liked the red ones best), and a generous helping of the peaches on top. Unlike others buying from the stall, he didn't bat an eyelid at the weigh-in at the till, and handed over his twenty-five dollars without comment. They were expensive, buying them like this, because of the weight - but it was his one vice at Christmas and he gave into it freely.
He hurried through the crowds back towards the toilets - unsurprisingly, there was a queue, so he couldn't enjoy his stash there. Franziska would be wondering where he was, he knew, but there was no way he could carry them around in his bag for the rest of the day without having sampled at least a few of them. They were best on the day they were bought - there were a lot there, but he had no intention of them lasting out the week. After all, they started going hard by then and just didn't taste the same. He hid himself near the mulled wine stand and opened the bag with eager, grabby fingers. The peaches were on top, and he snagged a few with his fingers, shovelling them into his mouth while looking all around him for any sign of Franziska. Oh, the taste was phenomenal! They tasted and smelled just like real peaches, and the juice ran over his tongue. Looking in the bag he could see a single red gummy bear poking out from beneath a peach, and he showed no mercy - it was despatched within moments. And was that a lemonade one there? They were his second favourite - that was gone too. He spotted another red one. Well, he couldn't leave that there, and though he couldn't have too many cola bottles at once because his tongue would split, there was no harm in having a couple...
Miles blinked, looking in the packet. There were no more red gummy bears? It seemed that he had eaten them all. The paper bag was considerably lighter than it was before, and he felt that heavy feeling in his stomach that meant he'd eaten one too many, but the sugar rush was starting to set in and he honestly didn't give a damn. Though he ought to go and find Franziska, really...
"Edgeworth!"
Miles stiffened, turning slowly. Phoenix Wright was waving at him. He had a massive bratwurst hot dog in one hand, and he was accompanied by Maya and Pearl. Maya was eating an enormous burger that was shedding fried onions onto the ground, and Pearl was licking the chocolate off her kebab stick of grapes and banana pieces. She had a gingerbread heart hanging from a ribbon around her neck, still in its shrinkwrap.
"W-Wright," Miles hurriedly pocketed his little paper bag and stepped out from behind the mulled wine stall, trying to act like he hadn't been skulking behind there at all, no, not in the slightest. "I didn't expect to see you here! Haha, what a funny coincidence."
"What were you doing behind that stall, Mr. Edgeworth?" Pearl asked innocently, chewing on a grape.
"Ah-! Nothing, nothing, haha," Miles folded his arms, trying to hide the shake of his hands. "I'm just, er, having fun! It's a jolly good laugh, all of this, isn't it? Hoho!"
The other three stared at him as if he had grown two heads. Phoenix wasn't sure if it was just the bright sunlight blazing down on them, but Edgeworth's pupils looked rather dilated.
"I haven't seen you around for a few weeks," Phoenix commented. "I heard Franziska was visiting - is she here too or are you just here by yourself?"
"Oh, she's here somewhere," Miles said airily, waving a hand vaguely in the direction of the crowd. "But no matter, she was happily guzzling crepes so I'm sure she's not missing me in the slightest!"
"You're full of the joys of the season, Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya smiled at him.
"Yes," Phoenix agreed. "It's... unusual." He was looking at the prosecutor dubiously.
"Oh, I'm fine! Absolutely fine! Tip top!" Miles knew he sounded a little deranged, but he couldn't seem to help himself. The shock of nearly being caught in the middle of shooting up his sugar fix seemed to have triggered some sort of hyperactive adrenaline rush. He was buzzing!
"You... don't seem quite your-" Phoenix broke off, eyes widening. "Look out!"
"Huh?" Miles turned-
"WOOF!"
Something cannoned into him, knocking him flat.
"Oomph!" he landed on the floor at Phoenix's feet, completely taken by surprise.
"Missile, pal, COME HERE! Leave Mr. Edgeworth!"
Miles felt tugging at his jacket pocket.
"No!" he grabbed for it, but it was too late - wet dog jaws brushed against his hand as they closed around the paper bag, drawing it out of his pocket. "Noooo!"
"Mr. Edgeworth!" he heard Detective Gumshoe's voice above him. "I'm so sorry, boss! Can you get up?"
"Missile? Here, boy!" Maya was calling.
"Mr. Scruffy Detective!" Pearl said delightedly. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, they're a bit short on uniformed cover for the market, so I said me and Missile would do some patrolling! And hoo boy, the market guys sure do look after you while you're on duty!" Gumshoe held up a bratwurst hot dog that was twice the size of Phoenix's, an enormous beam on his face. Then he remembered he was supposed to be helping his boss, so he clamped one end of the hotdog between his jaws and turned to provide assistance.
But Miles was already getting to his feet, looking for the dog - there, a flash of fur by Maya.
"C'mere, mongrel," he yelled, making a dive for Missile. "Give it back!"
Missile darted behind Gumshoe, whimpering.
"Don't you go hiding behind me, pal," Gumshoe looked down at him. "You're a bad dog, knocking down Mr. Edgeworth - no more hot dog for you! Huh? What's that you've got there?" Missile dropped the little paper bag into his hand.
"Unhand that candy, you cad!" Miles declared, pointing dramatically at Gumshoe. "Why, I'll duel you for it! Put 'em up!" He put up his fists, beckoning to the detective.
Gumshoe blinked, looking at the paper bag, then at his superior, who had a slightly lop-sided smile on his face and a slightly unfocused, crazed look in his eyes. He looked across at Phoenix, who shrugged, shaking his head - he clearly had no idea what was going on with the man either. So the detective slowly held the paper bag out, at arms length, towards Miles, who was shifting from foot to foot in an antsy fashion with his jukes still up. Miles looked at the bag suspiciously, then his hand shot out and he whipped it from Gumshoe's hand.
"Hahahaha!" Miles pocketed the Haribo triumphantly. "I win!"
"No, Miles Edgeworth, you LOSE!" A whip cracked out from nowhere, and Franziska stepped forward, fury on her face and chocolate sauce around her mouth. "How dare you abandon me in the middle of this excuse for a German market! You've been looting the Haribo stall again, haven't you?"
She went straight for his pocket, producing the paper bag.
"Just as I suspected. You've eaten half the packet already!"
"I certainly have, dear sis," Miles said cheerily. "Well, you know how it goes! Haribo macht Kinder froh und Erwachsene ebenso," he winked at her.
"Erwachsen, my foot - you're nothing more than a child with a sweet tooth, little brother. Are you aware you reek of sugar?" Franziska said sourly. "My teeth are rotting just smelling it!"
"Haha! I need a little sugar to survive Christmas in your company, my dear."
"What did you just say?" Franziska said dangerously.
"Lala," Miles sang, skirting away from her. "Nothing at all~!"
"Don't you sing at me, you sugar-sodden sorry excuse for a fool! Come back here!"
She began chasing him across the square, her whip dancing at his heels. Gumshoe, Phoenix and the two Fey girls watched them go, mystified looks on their faces.
"I don't know what's gotten into him, pals," Gumshoe scratched his head, and Missile barked his agreement.
"Maya," Phoenix murmured, "I don't think we should let Pearl near that candy stall - who knows what they're putting in those things?"
"I dunno," Maya grinned. "But maybe we should buy Mr. Edgeworth some more?"
[End.]
NB: Haribo macht Kinder froh und Erwachsene ebenso is the German Haribo slogan. The English equivalent is: Kids and Grownups love it so, the happy world of Haribo. Erwachsen means adult, hence Franziska's sarky comment XD