Not Of This Earth
Title: Not Of This Earth
Fandom: Fringe
Characters: Peter. Mentions of Walter, Walternate, Olivia, Altlivia, Lincoln.
Pairings: Peter/Olivia
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up to 4x06
Summary: Three universes, one man. Peter evaluates his place in blue, red and amber universes and wonders where, if anywhere, he has ever belonged.
Part 1: Blue Verse
Peter can’t understand now why he never had any suspicions earlier. Now he knows the truth, there are several things that he’d thought nothing of before, but which now make a dreadful kind of sense. That day when he’d been showing that feral kid his old G I Joe toy, for example. “Huh, it’s funny. I always remember the scar being on the other side.” Was that where a scar had been on a G I Joe toy he’d had before? Or what about that time when Walter had kept insisting that Peter had loved custard as a kid, when Peter knew full well he couldn’t stand it. Had...the other Peter been the one to love custard? Or even further back than that, when Peter’s third grade teacher had constantly corrected him over the spelling of Manhattan while Peter insisted it was Manhatan?
He’d just dismissed these at the time. He hadn’t seen the G I Joe toy in years, there was nothing in the fact that he’d forgotten where its scar was. Walter had had problems with his memory for a long time, everyone knew that. And how many third graders didn’t make spelling mistakes? None of those things on their own would have meant anything to Peter.
But now that he knows that he isn’t from here, he understands what all these things meant.
Was that why he always struggled with the word “dad”, preferring to call Walter by his given name? He’d actually called that man “Dad” for the first time since he’d been in St Claire’s on the very day he’d found out, Peter remembers with a snort. How ironic was that? If anyone had asked him before, he’d probably have said that ever since Walter had been in St Claire’s, he hadn’t felt like a father to Peter until recently. That was why he always called him Walter. But now he’s reading more into it, wondering if he always somehow knew deep down.
And was that why he’d spent so many years travelling, never settling anywhere for any length of time? Had he been trying to find somewhere he belonged, never once knowing that it was never going to be possible because he wasn’t even in the right universe? But in these last few weeks, he’d been starting to feel like he had somewhere he belonged at last - with the Fringe team, with Walter...and with Olivia.
Now he realises all of that was a lie, and he wonders whether he belongs anywhere at all.
Part 2: Red Verse
Peter isn’t sure what he was expecting from being back here. Had he really thought he’d just instantly feel at home here, that everything would be okay as soon as he was back there? And sure, some things were starting to make a little more sense now, like how he could remember having had bacon when he was a kid when the woman who’d brought him up never cooked it. (That’s another thing he needs to get used to, thinking of this Elizabeth Bishop as his mother again. Olivia had said something to him once about how she’d give anything to have the chance to see her own mother again, and now Peter has this chance, but he just feels confused. On the one hand, she’s made him see he has to let go of the guilt he felt about Elizabeth’s suicide which he hadn’t consciously realised until now that he felt. But on the other, he’s still so used to the other Elizabeth being his mother, and being dead, that he’s having trouble adjusting to this.)
And he hadn’t felt any kind of bond with the Secretary, either. (He still calls him that, not any variation on the father theme, or even Walter, because it’s all he feels comfortable with.) He knows he was being an idiot, expecting to feel instantly at home here, with them.
But this man isn’t what Peter had been hoping for, had hoped for even as long ago as the time when Walter was first admitted to the mental institution and Peter had wished for a better father. He isn’t it. Because the man Peter had believed for years was his father had crossed universe twice to save him. For that version of Walter Bishop, it had been about saving his life. But with this Walter, it’s all about destruction.
As soon as Peter touches the machine and realises that he is the only person it will respond to, he wonders whether this was Walternate’s plan after all. How can it be set to respond to him when Walternate hasn’t been anywhere near Peter since 1985? Had he been working on this machine before Peter was ever kidnapped, had he used Peter in an experiment with it during the period of his childhood that he still can’t remember? Had he always been working on this machine with destruction in mind? That’s not who Peter is. Wherever he belongs, it’s not with this man. But he’s not sure it’s with the other Walter, either.
To tell the truth, he’d been thinking about it even before he saw Olivia and she told him that he belonged with her. As he’d described Olivia to her counterpart, he realised that she was the one thing he’d missed since he left. Maybe she’d known the truth before he did, maybe she hadn’t. But either way, what did it really matter? She was the first person he’d felt like he belonged with in a long time, and as long as he can have that chance to be with her again, even if it means going back from one universe where he doesn’t fit to another, he’ll take it. Being with her is where he belings now.
Part 3: Amber Verse
He’d thought that he was finally getting back to where he belonged. But it’s becoming clearer and clearer to him that there’s no place for him in this universe. The Walter Bishop he’d known would have done anything to get Peter back. Well, he had - he’d crossed over into another universe twice to save him. Yet this man has done nothing but push him away since he’s been here. The man who won’t even attempt to fight to rebuild some kind of relationship can’t be the same man he was rebuilding his relationship with before he entered the machine.
This universe looks like the one he left behind. But these aren’t the people he’s worked with for the last three years. When he hadn’t known which universe he belonged in, he’d chosen to return to his adopted universe because he belonged with Olivia. But this Olivia, the one who looks at him like she doesn’t even recognise him, this isn’t the woman he belongs with. The only person who even treats Peter like a regular guy is Lincoln Lee, the one he’d known least well in his original timeline.
It’s crazy. The first time in a long while that Peter’s finally known where he belongs, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to get back there? Once he’d been desperate to get the hell out of the universe he’d called home for the last 25 years. It almost makes him laugh now to think how desperate he now is to get back there, back where Walter actually wants to know him, and where he and Olivia were together. Don’t get me wrong, he thinks, Lincoln seems like a decent guy. He was in Peter’s universe as well, from what little he knows of him, and maybe in this timeline he’ll make Olivia happy. But somewhere out there is a universe where he and Olivia belong together, and that’s where Peter needs to go back to. And one day, he’s sure he will.
Fandom: Fringe
Characters: Peter. Mentions of Walter, Walternate, Olivia, Altlivia, Lincoln.
Pairings: Peter/Olivia
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up to 4x06
Summary: Three universes, one man. Peter evaluates his place in blue, red and amber universes and wonders where, if anywhere, he has ever belonged.
Part 1: Blue Verse
Peter can’t understand now why he never had any suspicions earlier. Now he knows the truth, there are several things that he’d thought nothing of before, but which now make a dreadful kind of sense. That day when he’d been showing that feral kid his old G I Joe toy, for example. “Huh, it’s funny. I always remember the scar being on the other side.” Was that where a scar had been on a G I Joe toy he’d had before? Or what about that time when Walter had kept insisting that Peter had loved custard as a kid, when Peter knew full well he couldn’t stand it. Had...the other Peter been the one to love custard? Or even further back than that, when Peter’s third grade teacher had constantly corrected him over the spelling of Manhattan while Peter insisted it was Manhatan?
He’d just dismissed these at the time. He hadn’t seen the G I Joe toy in years, there was nothing in the fact that he’d forgotten where its scar was. Walter had had problems with his memory for a long time, everyone knew that. And how many third graders didn’t make spelling mistakes? None of those things on their own would have meant anything to Peter.
But now that he knows that he isn’t from here, he understands what all these things meant.
Was that why he always struggled with the word “dad”, preferring to call Walter by his given name? He’d actually called that man “Dad” for the first time since he’d been in St Claire’s on the very day he’d found out, Peter remembers with a snort. How ironic was that? If anyone had asked him before, he’d probably have said that ever since Walter had been in St Claire’s, he hadn’t felt like a father to Peter until recently. That was why he always called him Walter. But now he’s reading more into it, wondering if he always somehow knew deep down.
And was that why he’d spent so many years travelling, never settling anywhere for any length of time? Had he been trying to find somewhere he belonged, never once knowing that it was never going to be possible because he wasn’t even in the right universe? But in these last few weeks, he’d been starting to feel like he had somewhere he belonged at last - with the Fringe team, with Walter...and with Olivia.
Now he realises all of that was a lie, and he wonders whether he belongs anywhere at all.
Part 2: Red Verse
Peter isn’t sure what he was expecting from being back here. Had he really thought he’d just instantly feel at home here, that everything would be okay as soon as he was back there? And sure, some things were starting to make a little more sense now, like how he could remember having had bacon when he was a kid when the woman who’d brought him up never cooked it. (That’s another thing he needs to get used to, thinking of this Elizabeth Bishop as his mother again. Olivia had said something to him once about how she’d give anything to have the chance to see her own mother again, and now Peter has this chance, but he just feels confused. On the one hand, she’s made him see he has to let go of the guilt he felt about Elizabeth’s suicide which he hadn’t consciously realised until now that he felt. But on the other, he’s still so used to the other Elizabeth being his mother, and being dead, that he’s having trouble adjusting to this.)
And he hadn’t felt any kind of bond with the Secretary, either. (He still calls him that, not any variation on the father theme, or even Walter, because it’s all he feels comfortable with.) He knows he was being an idiot, expecting to feel instantly at home here, with them.
But this man isn’t what Peter had been hoping for, had hoped for even as long ago as the time when Walter was first admitted to the mental institution and Peter had wished for a better father. He isn’t it. Because the man Peter had believed for years was his father had crossed universe twice to save him. For that version of Walter Bishop, it had been about saving his life. But with this Walter, it’s all about destruction.
As soon as Peter touches the machine and realises that he is the only person it will respond to, he wonders whether this was Walternate’s plan after all. How can it be set to respond to him when Walternate hasn’t been anywhere near Peter since 1985? Had he been working on this machine before Peter was ever kidnapped, had he used Peter in an experiment with it during the period of his childhood that he still can’t remember? Had he always been working on this machine with destruction in mind? That’s not who Peter is. Wherever he belongs, it’s not with this man. But he’s not sure it’s with the other Walter, either.
To tell the truth, he’d been thinking about it even before he saw Olivia and she told him that he belonged with her. As he’d described Olivia to her counterpart, he realised that she was the one thing he’d missed since he left. Maybe she’d known the truth before he did, maybe she hadn’t. But either way, what did it really matter? She was the first person he’d felt like he belonged with in a long time, and as long as he can have that chance to be with her again, even if it means going back from one universe where he doesn’t fit to another, he’ll take it. Being with her is where he belings now.
Part 3: Amber Verse
He’d thought that he was finally getting back to where he belonged. But it’s becoming clearer and clearer to him that there’s no place for him in this universe. The Walter Bishop he’d known would have done anything to get Peter back. Well, he had - he’d crossed over into another universe twice to save him. Yet this man has done nothing but push him away since he’s been here. The man who won’t even attempt to fight to rebuild some kind of relationship can’t be the same man he was rebuilding his relationship with before he entered the machine.
This universe looks like the one he left behind. But these aren’t the people he’s worked with for the last three years. When he hadn’t known which universe he belonged in, he’d chosen to return to his adopted universe because he belonged with Olivia. But this Olivia, the one who looks at him like she doesn’t even recognise him, this isn’t the woman he belongs with. The only person who even treats Peter like a regular guy is Lincoln Lee, the one he’d known least well in his original timeline.
It’s crazy. The first time in a long while that Peter’s finally known where he belongs, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to get back there? Once he’d been desperate to get the hell out of the universe he’d called home for the last 25 years. It almost makes him laugh now to think how desperate he now is to get back there, back where Walter actually wants to know him, and where he and Olivia were together. Don’t get me wrong, he thinks, Lincoln seems like a decent guy. He was in Peter’s universe as well, from what little he knows of him, and maybe in this timeline he’ll make Olivia happy. But somewhere out there is a universe where he and Olivia belong together, and that’s where Peter needs to go back to. And one day, he’s sure he will.