Continuation: Five Decades Re-Cap
3 Months to go for my big 5-0 Birthday Celebration and I thought of finishing the entry I started back when I turned 49 about describing my life a decade at a time. I had left the last 2 decades with "to be continued". Let me repost what I wrote back then:
I'm going to sum up my nearly 5 decades on this earth with colorful yet meaningful phrases:
Years 1 - 10 (1958-1968)
Culture Shock: A Little Dominican Immigrant Girl Arrives in Idlewild Airport (renamed JFK Airport in December 1963 but I arrived in July '63)
Lived briefly in Park Slope, Brooklyn with my mother and later grandmother then moved to the Sugar Hill section of Manhattan during the tumultuous 1960s, summered in a posh camp in New Hampshire one year and traveled to Dominican Republic every 4 years, attended the same Roman Catholic grammar school (St. Catherine of Genoa's Grammar School which was recently closed) as the late, great Black Lesbian Poet and Writer Audre Lorde
http://www.albany.edu/writers-inst/lorde.html
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years 11-20 (1969-1978)
The Jersey Years: Jersey Girl Turns into Budding Baby Dyke during Lesbian-Feminist Heydays
My family moved to Union City, NJ to escape the deteriorating conditions of urban City Life, i.e. they moved from the Manhattan "ghetto" to the Union City "ghetto", only difference was Manhattan was interesting and Union City was boring but I use these terms loosely and subversively as I hate the words "inner city". In other words, we moved from a working class neighborhood full of Latinos who had arrived in NYC in the 50s (mostly Puerto Ricans) to a working class neighborhood full of Latinos who had arrived in the 60s (the Cubans) but wanted a more insular community (where nearly everyone speaks Spanish). I attended an all-girl Catholic high school and spend one year at a public high school.
More than anything during this period, I felt TRAPPED in pseudo-suburbia and began to venture out on my own in the big City (NYC was called "THE CITY" by us Union Cityites) when I became 19. I remember visiting the legendary and great Womanbooks bookstore on the Upper West Side and hungrily reading my first lesbian novel: "The Price of Salt" by Claire Morgan, aka Patricia Highsmith.
In my one year at Rutgers college (the '76-77 school year) I voraciously devoured every possible lesbian, homosexual, inverted, perverted piece of literature I could get my hands on while experiencing a great deal of pent-up sexual frustration. I even summoned up the courage to go to the "Women's Center" on the Livingston College campus where all the lesbians were rumored to hand out. I came across my first edition of "LC" or The Lesbian Connection newsletter, the longest-running lesbian newsletter (been around for something like 30 years and still exists!).
In 1978, I had the wonderful opportunity to visit the legendary "Firehouse" in the Village where lesbian-feminists congregated. Slowly but surely I began my descent or ascent into the Lesbian and Gay Community (that's what it was called in those days folks)!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years 21-30 (1979-1988)
My Political Awakening: Race Plus Class Plus Sex Plus Identity Politics Plus Feminism Plus the legacy of the Civil Rights Movement Plus the Budding AIDS Activist Movement = Don't You Get It?
In 1979, I was dealing with my weight/image issues: I thought I was too fat and ugly at 179 lbs. and 5'4" tall. Today, I consider that ludicrous. However, in my twenties there didn't seem to exist a fat movement so throughout my 20s I began to lose weight, gain it, lose it by over-exercising, dieting (the Atkins, the Grapefruit, vegetarian, raw foods, the Dick Gregory, low-fat, etc.) until I became a self-hating beginner bodybuilder weighing 135 lbs and wearing a size 6 as I approached the big 3-0 birthday.
My political awakening began when I became sexually involved with an equally self-hating big, fat, brilliant, Black lesbian whose deceased mother had been a Black Panther and was currently the editor of a NYC feminist newspaper and later became one of the first paid staff members of the infamous OutWeek magazine, the short-lived AIDS activist bible at the time.
I volunteered for the feminist monthly for 3 years until I broke up with the Black lesbian and heard a great deal of what really went on behind the scenes at Outweek. These were interesting and exciting times: I honed my writing skills, wrote a movie review column, reported on historic events, interviewed and met famous people, both in person and on the phone.
I finally "GOT IT" but not the body image part...that came in a later decade.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years 31-40 (1989-1998)
Loving Myself Better: Enjoying Healthier Relationships, Realizing 3 Dreams, Growing Up, Trying to Finish My Previously Aborted College Education and Finding the Love of My Life
In 1992, I worked to make a dream (dream #1) of a project come true - ColorLife Magazine (for People of Color who are in the Life) and learned volumes about myself, success and failure, and who your real friends are. It was a turning point in my life and I decided to return to college in 1994 and earn my bachelor's degree (dream #2, which ended up taking 7 years to complete while I worked full-time).
During my 30s, I couldn't seem to get past the 3 year mark with romantic relationships until I placed a personal ad in the Village Voice one eventful day in the early fall of 1995. Sadly, I lost my dear, sweet and great grandmother suddenly at the end of October of that same year. I began to grow up in earnest after that as I had never experienced the death of an immediate family member who meant so much to me.
Shortly after returning from my grandmother's burial in Dominican Republic in November of 1995, I met the love of my life (dream # 3) at the old LGBT Center in the West Village where we walked to the Cafe Des Artiste to get acqainted - she had responded to my personal ad and, as they say, the rest is history. I moved in with my dear Stillwell in August 1998 and it's been one of the best decisions of my entire life. Because of her, my life is that much richer, saner, more joyous and fulfilling.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years 41-Present (1999-2008)
The Brooklyn Years: Living in the Great and Wondrous City (Yes City) of Brooklyn, Forging a Fulfilling Marriage and Partnership, Earning My Bachelors Degree, Ridiculous and I Mean "Ridiculous Corporate America", Helping My Sweetheart Realize Her Dream
I moved to the edge of Park Slope, Brooklyn in 1998 (4th Avenue and 10th Street) and after living in the Prospect Park/Lefferts Gardens section of Brooklyn I've returned to Park Slope where I currently live (right near Prospect Park) and expect to live for as long as I can. Brooklyn is, IMHO, the most colorful, character-rich, fun-filled town I have ever lived in! Brooklyn has come into it's own as more and more interesting characters, culture and great cuisine makes it's home here.
The cataclysmic events of Sept. 11, 2001 seemed to change everything for everyone I knew who lived in NYC and lived to talk about it. Several months later in January of 2002, I graduated from NYU's Stern School of Business with my hard-earned bachelor's degree and began preparing to work in the insurance sales field because there was a terrible recession in NYC due to the horrific events of September 11, 2001.
At New York Life, I worked as an insurance agent and then was introduced to the "circus world" of Corporate America middle-management when I became promoted to run the training department of one of NY Life's Field Offices in Brooklyn. What a total Joke that was and not very funny once I learned of the 12-16 hour workdays (including occasional weekends & business trips). My future seemed full of misery, tons of work, potential heart disease and early death so I did the smartest thing and quit before completing even 2 years. Money was never as important as the quality of my life or my very life for that matter!
I decided to compromise and haven't left Corporate America entirely but left the insurance industry for good after doing stints in other insurance companies for a year. The compromise was switching to the banking industry and working for a novel and unique Bank - the Un-Bank as I call it because it doesn't look or act like a conventional bank -Commerce Bank that is. I'm starting from scratch and earning 50% less pay but the quality of my life is so much better!
Now, I'm able to support (barely) myself and my honey as she realizes her dream of becoming an Acupuncturist. In the 12 years we've been together, we've forged a successful and rewarding partnership where we mutually grow and support each other in different ways. During the entire year of 2001, she worked full-time while I went to school full-time to finish my college education. Today, the tables have switched - she's studying full-time while I work full-time.
As I approach my fiftieth birthday, I feel like I'm living the wonderful life I've dreamed of living even if I don't have the material trappings and money I had expected to have. The most important things I do have: the love of my Stillwell, my family & friends, my good health, a good job, food in the cupboards and a roof over my head.
I'm going to sum up my nearly 5 decades on this earth with colorful yet meaningful phrases:
Years 1 - 10 (1958-1968)
Culture Shock: A Little Dominican Immigrant Girl Arrives in Idlewild Airport (renamed JFK Airport in December 1963 but I arrived in July '63)
Lived briefly in Park Slope, Brooklyn with my mother and later grandmother then moved to the Sugar Hill section of Manhattan during the tumultuous 1960s, summered in a posh camp in New Hampshire one year and traveled to Dominican Republic every 4 years, attended the same Roman Catholic grammar school (St. Catherine of Genoa's Grammar School which was recently closed) as the late, great Black Lesbian Poet and Writer Audre Lorde
http://www.albany.edu/writers-inst/lorde.html
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years 11-20 (1969-1978)
The Jersey Years: Jersey Girl Turns into Budding Baby Dyke during Lesbian-Feminist Heydays
My family moved to Union City, NJ to escape the deteriorating conditions of urban City Life, i.e. they moved from the Manhattan "ghetto" to the Union City "ghetto", only difference was Manhattan was interesting and Union City was boring but I use these terms loosely and subversively as I hate the words "inner city". In other words, we moved from a working class neighborhood full of Latinos who had arrived in NYC in the 50s (mostly Puerto Ricans) to a working class neighborhood full of Latinos who had arrived in the 60s (the Cubans) but wanted a more insular community (where nearly everyone speaks Spanish). I attended an all-girl Catholic high school and spend one year at a public high school.
More than anything during this period, I felt TRAPPED in pseudo-suburbia and began to venture out on my own in the big City (NYC was called "THE CITY" by us Union Cityites) when I became 19. I remember visiting the legendary and great Womanbooks bookstore on the Upper West Side and hungrily reading my first lesbian novel: "The Price of Salt" by Claire Morgan, aka Patricia Highsmith.
In my one year at Rutgers college (the '76-77 school year) I voraciously devoured every possible lesbian, homosexual, inverted, perverted piece of literature I could get my hands on while experiencing a great deal of pent-up sexual frustration. I even summoned up the courage to go to the "Women's Center" on the Livingston College campus where all the lesbians were rumored to hand out. I came across my first edition of "LC" or The Lesbian Connection newsletter, the longest-running lesbian newsletter (been around for something like 30 years and still exists!).
In 1978, I had the wonderful opportunity to visit the legendary "Firehouse" in the Village where lesbian-feminists congregated. Slowly but surely I began my descent or ascent into the Lesbian and Gay Community (that's what it was called in those days folks)!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years 21-30 (1979-1988)
My Political Awakening: Race Plus Class Plus Sex Plus Identity Politics Plus Feminism Plus the legacy of the Civil Rights Movement Plus the Budding AIDS Activist Movement = Don't You Get It?
In 1979, I was dealing with my weight/image issues: I thought I was too fat and ugly at 179 lbs. and 5'4" tall. Today, I consider that ludicrous. However, in my twenties there didn't seem to exist a fat movement so throughout my 20s I began to lose weight, gain it, lose it by over-exercising, dieting (the Atkins, the Grapefruit, vegetarian, raw foods, the Dick Gregory, low-fat, etc.) until I became a self-hating beginner bodybuilder weighing 135 lbs and wearing a size 6 as I approached the big 3-0 birthday.
My political awakening began when I became sexually involved with an equally self-hating big, fat, brilliant, Black lesbian whose deceased mother had been a Black Panther and was currently the editor of a NYC feminist newspaper and later became one of the first paid staff members of the infamous OutWeek magazine, the short-lived AIDS activist bible at the time.
I volunteered for the feminist monthly for 3 years until I broke up with the Black lesbian and heard a great deal of what really went on behind the scenes at Outweek. These were interesting and exciting times: I honed my writing skills, wrote a movie review column, reported on historic events, interviewed and met famous people, both in person and on the phone.
I finally "GOT IT" but not the body image part...that came in a later decade.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years 31-40 (1989-1998)
Loving Myself Better: Enjoying Healthier Relationships, Realizing 3 Dreams, Growing Up, Trying to Finish My Previously Aborted College Education and Finding the Love of My Life
In 1992, I worked to make a dream (dream #1) of a project come true - ColorLife Magazine (for People of Color who are in the Life) and learned volumes about myself, success and failure, and who your real friends are. It was a turning point in my life and I decided to return to college in 1994 and earn my bachelor's degree (dream #2, which ended up taking 7 years to complete while I worked full-time).
During my 30s, I couldn't seem to get past the 3 year mark with romantic relationships until I placed a personal ad in the Village Voice one eventful day in the early fall of 1995. Sadly, I lost my dear, sweet and great grandmother suddenly at the end of October of that same year. I began to grow up in earnest after that as I had never experienced the death of an immediate family member who meant so much to me.
Shortly after returning from my grandmother's burial in Dominican Republic in November of 1995, I met the love of my life (dream # 3) at the old LGBT Center in the West Village where we walked to the Cafe Des Artiste to get acqainted - she had responded to my personal ad and, as they say, the rest is history. I moved in with my dear Stillwell in August 1998 and it's been one of the best decisions of my entire life. Because of her, my life is that much richer, saner, more joyous and fulfilling.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years 41-Present (1999-2008)
The Brooklyn Years: Living in the Great and Wondrous City (Yes City) of Brooklyn, Forging a Fulfilling Marriage and Partnership, Earning My Bachelors Degree, Ridiculous and I Mean "Ridiculous Corporate America", Helping My Sweetheart Realize Her Dream
I moved to the edge of Park Slope, Brooklyn in 1998 (4th Avenue and 10th Street) and after living in the Prospect Park/Lefferts Gardens section of Brooklyn I've returned to Park Slope where I currently live (right near Prospect Park) and expect to live for as long as I can. Brooklyn is, IMHO, the most colorful, character-rich, fun-filled town I have ever lived in! Brooklyn has come into it's own as more and more interesting characters, culture and great cuisine makes it's home here.
The cataclysmic events of Sept. 11, 2001 seemed to change everything for everyone I knew who lived in NYC and lived to talk about it. Several months later in January of 2002, I graduated from NYU's Stern School of Business with my hard-earned bachelor's degree and began preparing to work in the insurance sales field because there was a terrible recession in NYC due to the horrific events of September 11, 2001.
At New York Life, I worked as an insurance agent and then was introduced to the "circus world" of Corporate America middle-management when I became promoted to run the training department of one of NY Life's Field Offices in Brooklyn. What a total Joke that was and not very funny once I learned of the 12-16 hour workdays (including occasional weekends & business trips). My future seemed full of misery, tons of work, potential heart disease and early death so I did the smartest thing and quit before completing even 2 years. Money was never as important as the quality of my life or my very life for that matter!
I decided to compromise and haven't left Corporate America entirely but left the insurance industry for good after doing stints in other insurance companies for a year. The compromise was switching to the banking industry and working for a novel and unique Bank - the Un-Bank as I call it because it doesn't look or act like a conventional bank -Commerce Bank that is. I'm starting from scratch and earning 50% less pay but the quality of my life is so much better!
Now, I'm able to support (barely) myself and my honey as she realizes her dream of becoming an Acupuncturist. In the 12 years we've been together, we've forged a successful and rewarding partnership where we mutually grow and support each other in different ways. During the entire year of 2001, she worked full-time while I went to school full-time to finish my college education. Today, the tables have switched - she's studying full-time while I work full-time.
As I approach my fiftieth birthday, I feel like I'm living the wonderful life I've dreamed of living even if I don't have the material trappings and money I had expected to have. The most important things I do have: the love of my Stillwell, my family & friends, my good health, a good job, food in the cupboards and a roof over my head.