dear old dad
Well tonight was a bummer. all i wanted to do was chill out with dad and watch a cool movie. They were playing "return of the living dead" at the plaza. me and him used to watch zombie movies together because everyone else would get grossed out. now that i think about it, those times are the only ones me and him would hang out alone. Funny isnt it that when your dad is fun that he is fun the least with his son. As far as i can remember i would wait to go to his place (mom and dad have be split as far as i can remember) and half the time he was too busy for us. then he got married and he had some more time i guess. well enough to spend time on the computer djing on the internet and staying up all night. we saw him more but ya know i guess it was better then nothing. then he got sick and got holy. holy dad was nice because atleast he wasnt doing things on the net that are bad? but theres always a catch. so his wife and us would go to church and now he went. figure that the whole family there right. ya well it ends up us and him with the brotherhood or decons. while i sit and try to talk to him the other youth would get his attention. big surprise. so now i dont see him cause he was busy with church and no time for me or the bro. by this time i decided to split what i wanted from him. i grew up without a knowing my dad. he always kept himself from me. so then he got to parting and photography. like 180 because it was all fetish and nude stuff. now im not uptight but im not into it. he would drag me to it and then i would sit there with a newspaper because i wanted to hang with him but he was out talking with people more important than me. he acts like he is 19 when hes 40, dressing up with a mohawk and kilt parting in atlanta till 4 in the morning.
i called yesterday to say i would bring some hotdogs and we could eat there and chill. but he was to tired from working, working for a party company. but instead he would take me to a zombie movie. awsome because thats what was our thing. then i find out more people are coming. eh well thats alright. we eat a resturant with this chick (least thats what they told me) and come to find out its my brothers ex (awkward because joe didnt want anybody to know) and sit eating next to her. then we go to the movies and he sits next to me. cool now we can talk about the movie while its on*there were zombies in the audioence so i think it was ok to wisper*. He gets up and says he wanted to switch with joes ex. so i sat at the end of the row with joes ex sitting there both awakward because of what happened with her and joe. then after the movie he was to busy to hand out with me cause there were tons of people again who were more inportant then me and his wife*who was feeling horrible had to sit in the car after the movie because of the pain* still to busy to leave 10 mins after me and her sat in the car. i spent the ride to their house mostly quiet and would speak when i would have to. then he said thanks for hanging out with me at the movies and all i wanted to say was thanks for hanging out with people at the movies. but i figured ill just keep doing what i do and speak to him once every few months just to make sure hes alive and moving. i love him but he has his priorites mixed up so bad that i cant let us near him. i doubt ill go with him anywhere but here or his house cause im tired of being the shadow or not even worth being around. so thats pretty much how i feel and thats probably permanent. never that important to see, never important to be around, and now never need to worry about.
i called yesterday to say i would bring some hotdogs and we could eat there and chill. but he was to tired from working, working for a party company. but instead he would take me to a zombie movie. awsome because thats what was our thing. then i find out more people are coming. eh well thats alright. we eat a resturant with this chick (least thats what they told me) and come to find out its my brothers ex (awkward because joe didnt want anybody to know) and sit eating next to her. then we go to the movies and he sits next to me. cool now we can talk about the movie while its on*there were zombies in the audioence so i think it was ok to wisper*. He gets up and says he wanted to switch with joes ex. so i sat at the end of the row with joes ex sitting there both awakward because of what happened with her and joe. then after the movie he was to busy to hand out with me cause there were tons of people again who were more inportant then me and his wife*who was feeling horrible had to sit in the car after the movie because of the pain* still to busy to leave 10 mins after me and her sat in the car. i spent the ride to their house mostly quiet and would speak when i would have to. then he said thanks for hanging out with me at the movies and all i wanted to say was thanks for hanging out with people at the movies. but i figured ill just keep doing what i do and speak to him once every few months just to make sure hes alive and moving. i love him but he has his priorites mixed up so bad that i cant let us near him. i doubt ill go with him anywhere but here or his house cause im tired of being the shadow or not even worth being around. so thats pretty much how i feel and thats probably permanent. never that important to see, never important to be around, and now never need to worry about.