"But I want to see it! I want to see it all!"

[tenketsu]

I'm not infrequently cold and distant even with those I'm closest to. There's a disconnect that's just sometimes present... I don't even know how to attempt to explain it, really. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, I just sometimes... am that way

Comments

[frent]

Regarding the middle paragraph, you're not the only one who's that way.

[tenketsu]

Well, thanks. Still feels shitty, though.

[mouthoftheocean]

mabee anything your feeling is in you. like i realize i am normally dealing with another body like an extension of myself .one that aches or tickles like a part of me.and really I'm just feeling more of me.i think if your hungry for long enough youll eat your own shoes.or your feet.

[mouthoftheocean]

and it might taste like chicken.

[tenketsu]

I'm not really sure what you're saying there. It's funny, most people make more sense to me in text, but...

[ada]

From my experience the attraction/avoidance feels like an emotional game of tag. There is the desire to make an effort but then second thoughts when the possibility of negative consequences arises. If initial attempts do not succeed then I will withdraw from further contact. Then after the fact I will hear positive comments on my character and it completely befuddles me.

For no apparent reason I have phases where I somehow end up mutually tethered to a person who I have already known for some time. I am still not sure if this is an aspect of catching up or routine relationship maintenance.

Concerning what you have written about, I consider it as being infatuated with the idea or potential of a person rather than the actual person.