Kankei
Like fall foliage,
The body becomes tired
To renew the soul.
Finall back from Dallas and the annual embukai. It was a really good one this year--small, which meant more intimate time to get to know my other family up there. Ironically enough the theme for this year was kankei, meaning relationships between people in a social sense. My teacher, John Ray sensei, wrote in the program about how often observers of Japanese culture take this to mean the hierarchical relationships from top to bottom or vice versa. Instead, he wanted us to take a look at the way in which relationships form between peers and others of varying status among all the groups. It's a particularly potent theme because like any organization, we have our fractious members full of ego and agendas that do far more to distract than they do to help.
This year, I was able to reinforce old relationships and begin new ones. Most particularly I finally got to know Wout Verschuren sensei, who comes all the way from Belgium to attend our embukai most year. Last year, I had a lot of trouble getting along with him, because he kept insisting that I smile and that is a trigger point for me, because my stepmother would say that even when I didn't feel like smiling, which was most of the time around me. So I developed a negative opinion about him, but wisely, I kept it to myself. This year, I interacted with him and he totally opened up--he was relaxed and happy. I bought he and his wife drinks and repaid me with a package of Belgian chocolates he brought over, which are every bit as flavorful and delicious as you might imagine them to be. All in all we got along great and it made me really think about the theme and how it applies to my own day to day interactions. I am really trying more to cut people slack... it isn't that I have a problem intellectually understanding another's difficulties, it's that when I am emotionally involved in a situation, it's difficult for me to see the rational end of things because I'm too busy slaving in to finding a way to have an emotional release. When someone's difficulties cause offense, I don't see the root causes of it, I see red. And that's what I hope to work through--making sure that when someone does piss me off, it's because I genuinely need to be pissed off, or they need the sharp end of my ire.
This fits neatly in with the guiding philosophy of iaido called saya-no-uchi, or "inside the sheath," The idea being that one way or the other, conflict should be resolved while the sword is still in the sheath. I recently read a Taoist story about a butcher who was renowned for his skill. When asked to explain it, he saw the skeletal structure of each cow first before cutting. In this way, he was able to kill the animal painlessly, excise the finest cuts of meat and keep his knives sharp use after use. While I've certainly understood this principle for a long time, I think I'm finally at a point where I'm ready to apply it more broadly.
Ray sensei performed remarkably well this weekend, coming off a long illness that has kept him out of the game for a year and a half. I think the time off did help him--he seemed much more relaxed and powerful in his techniques. He seemed taller when he stood there before each waza. It constantly amazes me how much he has to teach me. My perfomance this year during the demo on Sunday was really good. I was put next to Will Schutt, a longtime peer who has been my senior even though we're of the same rank. He's my height with the same dark coloration, although he has a darker complexion. I"m sure the similarity invited comparison, something I would have not preferred a few years ago, due to his superior skill. This year, I just felt good being out there, and one of the junior students approached us and said he couldn't decide who to look at because we were both "so sharp." That felt good, but not because I wanted to look better than Will--far from it. He has earned every bit of skill and puissance he possess through diligent training and discipline, something I greatly admire in him I want him to continue that skill and training--it has inspired me and thus we're all better for it. For me, it isn't so much about who is better, but whether or not the time I've put into it shows. Last year, because of the upheaval from Sherry's grandfather dying, we were both under stress and that showed, which is likely why Wout-sensei kept telling me to smile. This year, I just put aside all my worries and did the best I could. Apparently it showed, which is as far as my hopes go.
I also got to have lunch with colebern on the way out of town, who took me to an Argentinian restaurant. I had the Galinha Assada a Brassileria, which was the most interesting form of salad I"ve ever eaten. It came in a long, thin, shallow dish covered in hash brown-like potatoes. The dressing underneath was kind of like lime ranch, with string beans and a couple other vegetables thrown in.
hecksheri and I had a wonderful reunion last night--I'll spare you the mushy details to say that it was very difficult to be away from her for four days. And for those of you who read about Inky's travails in her journal, he is currently wrapped around my butt in the chair, taking up most of the space, naturally.
The body becomes tired
To renew the soul.
Finall back from Dallas and the annual embukai. It was a really good one this year--small, which meant more intimate time to get to know my other family up there. Ironically enough the theme for this year was kankei, meaning relationships between people in a social sense. My teacher, John Ray sensei, wrote in the program about how often observers of Japanese culture take this to mean the hierarchical relationships from top to bottom or vice versa. Instead, he wanted us to take a look at the way in which relationships form between peers and others of varying status among all the groups. It's a particularly potent theme because like any organization, we have our fractious members full of ego and agendas that do far more to distract than they do to help.
This year, I was able to reinforce old relationships and begin new ones. Most particularly I finally got to know Wout Verschuren sensei, who comes all the way from Belgium to attend our embukai most year. Last year, I had a lot of trouble getting along with him, because he kept insisting that I smile and that is a trigger point for me, because my stepmother would say that even when I didn't feel like smiling, which was most of the time around me. So I developed a negative opinion about him, but wisely, I kept it to myself. This year, I interacted with him and he totally opened up--he was relaxed and happy. I bought he and his wife drinks and repaid me with a package of Belgian chocolates he brought over, which are every bit as flavorful and delicious as you might imagine them to be. All in all we got along great and it made me really think about the theme and how it applies to my own day to day interactions. I am really trying more to cut people slack... it isn't that I have a problem intellectually understanding another's difficulties, it's that when I am emotionally involved in a situation, it's difficult for me to see the rational end of things because I'm too busy slaving in to finding a way to have an emotional release. When someone's difficulties cause offense, I don't see the root causes of it, I see red. And that's what I hope to work through--making sure that when someone does piss me off, it's because I genuinely need to be pissed off, or they need the sharp end of my ire.
This fits neatly in with the guiding philosophy of iaido called saya-no-uchi, or "inside the sheath," The idea being that one way or the other, conflict should be resolved while the sword is still in the sheath. I recently read a Taoist story about a butcher who was renowned for his skill. When asked to explain it, he saw the skeletal structure of each cow first before cutting. In this way, he was able to kill the animal painlessly, excise the finest cuts of meat and keep his knives sharp use after use. While I've certainly understood this principle for a long time, I think I'm finally at a point where I'm ready to apply it more broadly.
Ray sensei performed remarkably well this weekend, coming off a long illness that has kept him out of the game for a year and a half. I think the time off did help him--he seemed much more relaxed and powerful in his techniques. He seemed taller when he stood there before each waza. It constantly amazes me how much he has to teach me. My perfomance this year during the demo on Sunday was really good. I was put next to Will Schutt, a longtime peer who has been my senior even though we're of the same rank. He's my height with the same dark coloration, although he has a darker complexion. I"m sure the similarity invited comparison, something I would have not preferred a few years ago, due to his superior skill. This year, I just felt good being out there, and one of the junior students approached us and said he couldn't decide who to look at because we were both "so sharp." That felt good, but not because I wanted to look better than Will--far from it. He has earned every bit of skill and puissance he possess through diligent training and discipline, something I greatly admire in him I want him to continue that skill and training--it has inspired me and thus we're all better for it. For me, it isn't so much about who is better, but whether or not the time I've put into it shows. Last year, because of the upheaval from Sherry's grandfather dying, we were both under stress and that showed, which is likely why Wout-sensei kept telling me to smile. This year, I just put aside all my worries and did the best I could. Apparently it showed, which is as far as my hopes go.
I also got to have lunch with colebern on the way out of town, who took me to an Argentinian restaurant. I had the Galinha Assada a Brassileria, which was the most interesting form of salad I"ve ever eaten. It came in a long, thin, shallow dish covered in hash brown-like potatoes. The dressing underneath was kind of like lime ranch, with string beans and a couple other vegetables thrown in.
hecksheri and I had a wonderful reunion last night--I'll spare you the mushy details to say that it was very difficult to be away from her for four days. And for those of you who read about Inky's travails in her journal, he is currently wrapped around my butt in the chair, taking up most of the space, naturally.