c&p from facebook + a few edits because I am lazy and also tired.
Hey everybody.
So....yesterday I got my appendix taken out. Yeah, I know weird, right? Man. Weird.
Warning: this is really long. Uh. Sorry. And probably kind of boring unless you know me in rl. So.
I've been mostly laying around all day because uh, that's what I'm supposed to do more or less, and I just wanted to write a entry so everybody knows what's going on and no one thinks, like, I don't know--my appendix ruptured and I had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with the LIGHTS BLAZING with the sirens going WHEEeEEEEEeeeeeeeOOOOOOOO and ZOOMING HAPHAZARDLY around OTHER VEHICLES while nice looking young doctors said things like WE'RE LOSING HER!!! or SHE'S TO YOUNG TO DIE!!! or perhaps even, MAN IF SHE WASN'T LIKE, DYING I'D TOTALLY TAP THAT. (note: this is a joke.)
So I'm pretty sure you all know that my stomach is a bitch. For those of you that don't: My stomach's a bitchy bitch bitchface. (see: stomach aliens tag.) I get stomachaches pretty often and my tummy often rejects food that has nothing wrong with it for no apparent reason! Especially yogurt. MAN does my stomach ever hate yogurt, I have no idea what's up with that. This is not fun at all. Particularly when I wake up in the middle of the night and--okay, nevermind that is not relevant. The point is that I'm pretty used to my stomach being dumb for no reason.
On Thursday night around six my stomach started hurting. I dealt with this by thinking "augh what the hell stomach jesus", rolling my eyes, and doing absolutely nothing about it. Around eight it was still hurting so I took some Tums, which are like ~THE MAGICAL MEDICINE~ and usually clear up all of my tummy woes. They did not help. Then at eleven I took some Tylenol, waited for about twenty minutes to see if it was going to help (which it did, a little) and went to bed. Needless to say, I did not sleep very well at all and I woke up at four feeling like I had been crapped out of a giant butt. Then, for some reason I don't understand, past!Krissy decided the best thing to do was to lie (lay? oh fuck) in bed until my dad and sister got up at six. SO I DID.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMB
When my dad got up I went downstairs and said, more or less ":C ow my stomach". My dad was getting concerned because at that point I realized it was really my abdomen that was hurting, not my stomach--but it was on the left side, not my right which is where your appendix is!
Dad: Well, at least it's not your appendix. You might have a kidney stone, though.
Me: WHAT
Dad: If it's on the left side.
Me: WHAT
Me: ....DO NOT WANT :C
Me:....ow
Then my dad had to go to work so he woke up my mom and told her the deal. At that point it was around seven and it hurt so bad. Lord. See, when I'm in pain I curl up and that's also the most comfortable position for me to sleep in, but curling up made it hurt like a fucker. Peeing made it feel like my abdomen was on fire that's right it hurt so bad it gets bold font.
PROBABLY TMI BUT I DON'T CARE
The parentals decided that since it had been hurting for about twelve hours that I needed to go to the doctor, so my mom called the clinic where I usually go, but it wasn't open. She got some nurse hotline or something instead? Anyway, the nurse on the phone talked to me and then told my mom that I definitely needed to go to the ER. Right away. HOWEVER at this point (it was around eight) the pain had basically gone away. I took some more Tylenol, so I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it, but. I had also been sitting on the couch and watching VH1 for a while and as a result, I had, alternately, Pink's "Who Knew" and Kanye West's "Stronger" stuck in my head for the rest of the freakin' day. I told my mom that we didn't have to go to the ER because it didn't hurt anymore and I didn't want to make her drive all the way down there. So we made :/ faces at each other and went hmmm what do you think?? and finally we decided just to go to be safe. GOOD IDEA PAST MOM AND KRISSY.
Then I got to wait a lot. First* they made me give a urine sample WHOO BOY WAS THAT EVER FUN. Note: It's kind of hard to make yourself pee when you don't have to. Then the doctor and nurse (a dude! dude nurse. he was cool.) came in. Doctor H made me lay down and pushed on my abdomen/stomach and to both of our surprise and delight, when he pressed on the lower right side of my abdomen it hurt like a bitch. "a;lksgj", I said approximately. He told me that this indicated that I either had a) a bladder infection or b) appendicitis and that it was normal to have "wandering pain" for both, i.e. to feel pain in an unrelated area. They were going to test my pee for the infection, and if came back negative then I was going to have a CAT scan done. My first thought: AWESOME I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A MACHINE BEFORE THIS IS JUST LIKE HOUSE. My mom laughed at me.
Urine result came back negative, I had to drink this nasty dye mixed in with lemonade, had my blood drawn to test my white cell count, and then got brought down to the CAT scan thing in a wheelchair. Then they gave me more dye. Through an IV and uh...through my butt. TMI AGAIN SORRY GUYS. The stuff through the IV made me have a hot flash, which was super weird. Then we waited some more and Doctor H came back.
Dr.H: Guess what your appendix is swollen to twice it's normal size~
Me:...
Dr.H: Any surgeon in particular you'd like?
Me: fklsa;joeiks
So the surgeon came down and talked to me and explained the whole surgery deal. (And I don't have a huge scar or anything because they did it with...fiber optics? I don't remember what it was called. They made three holes in my stomach and went in through those.** I just have bandaids covering them up.) I wasn't in any danger of my appendix RANDOMLY EXPLODING or anything but they wanted to do surgery as soon as possible. I got wheeled up to Pre-Op where more nurses asked me questions and I got a IV put in my arm again, this time with fluids in it. Then they put these weird things on my legs to prevent blood clots; they looked like leg braces, except they filled with air, kind of like when they take your blood pressure, then vibrated for a bit and deflated. The nurse who was looking after me in Pre-Op was very nice, and I talked to her for quite a bit because she had to take my medical history, which contained such entertaining questions as:
Nurse: And to your knowledge, you have not been around anyone who is HIV positive or has AIDS?
Me: No.
Nurse: And you don't work in an assisted care facility or nursing home?
Me: No.
Nurse: Or somewhere with incarcerated individuals or criminals....I'll just put 'no' for that one.
Me: Sounds good.
Then the anesthesiologist came in and talked to me about what he was going to do. For those of you who have not had a major surgery recently, here's the thing about anesthesia: you can't have anything to eat or drink like, 6 hours before you go in because you will vomit it back up.*** Lucky for me I hadn't eaten anything all day! And I had been up since four. Oh, and at this point it was around 2 o'clock, 2:30. So I was pretty tired and kind of hungry. Then another dude nurse came in, the one who was going to be in the surgery room with me and he explained some things too. He left and I slept for a while, my mom called my workplace("hello, my daughter is going to have surgery and she will not be coming in today or for the rest of the week. deal with it." literally this is what she told them. My mom had totally bitchmom voice on, HILARIOUS. My manager was really nice about it though :/) and I talked with my parents for a while.
Me: So Dad, Mom told me the story about you cutting your finger and fainting.
Dad: WHAT THAT IS A LIE
Me: lol dad ha ha ha ha
Dad: THE FAINTING HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BLOOD >:| (this is EXACTLY the face he made, you have no idea)
Mom: :)
Dad: LIES
Dude Nurse the Second came back and said IT WAS TIME. My parents left. He started me on another IV drip, this one some kind of medicine to make me relax.
Dude Nurse 2 asked me if I knew what it was--I didn't--so he explained that it was like a very weak form of Valium, and that it would cause mild amnesia. And that is the last thing I remember before waking up in the Recovery Room. It took about an hour for the anesthesia to wear off, and the nurses asked me questions, monitored my heart rate, blood pressure, things like that...I only vaguely remember them talking to me. I...think one of them showed my a picture of my appendix? After I woke up a bit more I asked one of them if she had showed me a picture and she said yes, but I was still pretty woozy so I might have imagined that too. Then they wheeled me down to the Short Stay wing so I could wake up a bit more. I was down there for, oh, about an hour too. I finally left the hospital around six with my mom hovering around me. SHE MADE ME PUT ON HOSPITAL BOOTIES, YOU GUYS****. Totally unnecessary.
When I got home my little sister freaked out quietly FOR ONCE and I slept on the couch on and off until about nine. Then I went to bed. THUS ENDS MY EXCITING STORY. The very compressed version of it, anyway.
Now I'm supposed to not move and drink lots of fluid, and I can't shower until tomorrow :/ My mom washed my hair for me in the sink though ♥ I can't lift anything more than 10-15 pounds either, which means my parents will be carrying all of my stuff up three flights of stairs. Poor mom & dad rhyme. Oh, and I can't do any strenuous physical activity for about two weeks. I'm not in a whole lot of pain, but it's kind of hard to sit up i.e. curling my stomach/abdomen area does not lead to happy things. I have to shuffle around the house too, which is annoying. They gave me painkillers which are FANTASTIC and an ice pack which is possibly even more fantastic. The only real problematic things are a) sitting up/standing up and b) my throat. It's scratchy from the breathing tube they put in, but that's not all. My uvula (little ball thing that hangs in the back of your throat) is swollen, making it longer than usual which just feels fucking weird. When I talk it hits my tongue and sometimes it actually rests on top of it auggggggghguhdgkla;jwoe329sksg. This makes talking difficult because it feels like I have something stuck in my throat all the goddamn time. The swelling is supposed to be down by tomorrow, though. Hopefully.
OKAY I'M DONE NOW GUYS
*by "first" I mean "after they asked me a whole bunch of questions that they would ask me again and again the whole day"
**it makes an isosceles triangle on my stomach I CAN NEVER ESCAPE YOU MATH
***they kept on asking me about the eating/drinking thing. this did not help in any way imaginable. also because it made me totally paranoid about throwing up, a process which I despise and loathe.
**** I was wearing flip-flops; it was cold; she was afraid in the three feet from the hospital to the car I would catch cold AND DIE. she's my mom, what can I say.
So....yesterday I got my appendix taken out. Yeah, I know weird, right? Man. Weird.
Warning: this is really long. Uh. Sorry. And probably kind of boring unless you know me in rl. So.
I've been mostly laying around all day because uh, that's what I'm supposed to do more or less, and I just wanted to write a entry so everybody knows what's going on and no one thinks, like, I don't know--my appendix ruptured and I had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with the LIGHTS BLAZING with the sirens going WHEEeEEEEEeeeeeeeOOOOOOOO and ZOOMING HAPHAZARDLY around OTHER VEHICLES while nice looking young doctors said things like WE'RE LOSING HER!!! or SHE'S TO YOUNG TO DIE!!! or perhaps even, MAN IF SHE WASN'T LIKE, DYING I'D TOTALLY TAP THAT. (note: this is a joke.)
So I'm pretty sure you all know that my stomach is a bitch. For those of you that don't: My stomach's a bitchy bitch bitchface. (see: stomach aliens tag.) I get stomachaches pretty often and my tummy often rejects food that has nothing wrong with it for no apparent reason! Especially yogurt. MAN does my stomach ever hate yogurt, I have no idea what's up with that. This is not fun at all. Particularly when I wake up in the middle of the night and--okay, nevermind that is not relevant. The point is that I'm pretty used to my stomach being dumb for no reason.
On Thursday night around six my stomach started hurting. I dealt with this by thinking "augh what the hell stomach jesus", rolling my eyes, and doing absolutely nothing about it. Around eight it was still hurting so I took some Tums, which are like ~THE MAGICAL MEDICINE~ and usually clear up all of my tummy woes. They did not help. Then at eleven I took some Tylenol, waited for about twenty minutes to see if it was going to help (which it did, a little) and went to bed. Needless to say, I did not sleep very well at all and I woke up at four feeling like I had been crapped out of a giant butt. Then, for some reason I don't understand, past!Krissy decided the best thing to do was to lie (lay? oh fuck) in bed until my dad and sister got up at six. SO I DID.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMB
When my dad got up I went downstairs and said, more or less ":C ow my stomach". My dad was getting concerned because at that point I realized it was really my abdomen that was hurting, not my stomach--but it was on the left side, not my right which is where your appendix is!
Dad: Well, at least it's not your appendix. You might have a kidney stone, though.
Me: WHAT
Dad: If it's on the left side.
Me: WHAT
Me: ....DO NOT WANT :C
Me:....ow
Then my dad had to go to work so he woke up my mom and told her the deal. At that point it was around seven and it hurt so bad. Lord. See, when I'm in pain I curl up and that's also the most comfortable position for me to sleep in, but curling up made it hurt like a fucker. Peeing made it feel like my abdomen was on fire that's right it hurt so bad it gets bold font.
PROBABLY TMI BUT I DON'T CARE
The parentals decided that since it had been hurting for about twelve hours that I needed to go to the doctor, so my mom called the clinic where I usually go, but it wasn't open. She got some nurse hotline or something instead? Anyway, the nurse on the phone talked to me and then told my mom that I definitely needed to go to the ER. Right away. HOWEVER at this point (it was around eight) the pain had basically gone away. I took some more Tylenol, so I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it, but. I had also been sitting on the couch and watching VH1 for a while and as a result, I had, alternately, Pink's "Who Knew" and Kanye West's "Stronger" stuck in my head for the rest of the freakin' day. I told my mom that we didn't have to go to the ER because it didn't hurt anymore and I didn't want to make her drive all the way down there. So we made :/ faces at each other and went hmmm what do you think?? and finally we decided just to go to be safe. GOOD IDEA PAST MOM AND KRISSY.
Then I got to wait a lot. First* they made me give a urine sample WHOO BOY WAS THAT EVER FUN. Note: It's kind of hard to make yourself pee when you don't have to. Then the doctor and nurse (a dude! dude nurse. he was cool.) came in. Doctor H made me lay down and pushed on my abdomen/stomach and to both of our surprise and delight, when he pressed on the lower right side of my abdomen it hurt like a bitch. "a;lksgj", I said approximately. He told me that this indicated that I either had a) a bladder infection or b) appendicitis and that it was normal to have "wandering pain" for both, i.e. to feel pain in an unrelated area. They were going to test my pee for the infection, and if came back negative then I was going to have a CAT scan done. My first thought: AWESOME I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN A MACHINE BEFORE THIS IS JUST LIKE HOUSE. My mom laughed at me.
Urine result came back negative, I had to drink this nasty dye mixed in with lemonade, had my blood drawn to test my white cell count, and then got brought down to the CAT scan thing in a wheelchair. Then they gave me more dye. Through an IV and uh...through my butt. TMI AGAIN SORRY GUYS. The stuff through the IV made me have a hot flash, which was super weird. Then we waited some more and Doctor H came back.
Dr.H: Guess what your appendix is swollen to twice it's normal size~
Me:...
Dr.H: Any surgeon in particular you'd like?
Me: fklsa;joeiks
So the surgeon came down and talked to me and explained the whole surgery deal. (And I don't have a huge scar or anything because they did it with...fiber optics? I don't remember what it was called. They made three holes in my stomach and went in through those.** I just have bandaids covering them up.) I wasn't in any danger of my appendix RANDOMLY EXPLODING or anything but they wanted to do surgery as soon as possible. I got wheeled up to Pre-Op where more nurses asked me questions and I got a IV put in my arm again, this time with fluids in it. Then they put these weird things on my legs to prevent blood clots; they looked like leg braces, except they filled with air, kind of like when they take your blood pressure, then vibrated for a bit and deflated. The nurse who was looking after me in Pre-Op was very nice, and I talked to her for quite a bit because she had to take my medical history, which contained such entertaining questions as:
Nurse: And to your knowledge, you have not been around anyone who is HIV positive or has AIDS?
Me: No.
Nurse: And you don't work in an assisted care facility or nursing home?
Me: No.
Nurse: Or somewhere with incarcerated individuals or criminals....I'll just put 'no' for that one.
Me: Sounds good.
Then the anesthesiologist came in and talked to me about what he was going to do. For those of you who have not had a major surgery recently, here's the thing about anesthesia: you can't have anything to eat or drink like, 6 hours before you go in because you will vomit it back up.*** Lucky for me I hadn't eaten anything all day! And I had been up since four. Oh, and at this point it was around 2 o'clock, 2:30. So I was pretty tired and kind of hungry. Then another dude nurse came in, the one who was going to be in the surgery room with me and he explained some things too. He left and I slept for a while, my mom called my workplace("hello, my daughter is going to have surgery and she will not be coming in today or for the rest of the week. deal with it." literally this is what she told them. My mom had totally bitchmom voice on, HILARIOUS. My manager was really nice about it though :/) and I talked with my parents for a while.
Me: So Dad, Mom told me the story about you cutting your finger and fainting.
Dad: WHAT THAT IS A LIE
Me: lol dad ha ha ha ha
Dad: THE FAINTING HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BLOOD >:| (this is EXACTLY the face he made, you have no idea)
Mom: :)
Dad: LIES
Dude Nurse the Second came back and said IT WAS TIME. My parents left. He started me on another IV drip, this one some kind of medicine to make me relax.
Dude Nurse 2 asked me if I knew what it was--I didn't--so he explained that it was like a very weak form of Valium, and that it would cause mild amnesia. And that is the last thing I remember before waking up in the Recovery Room. It took about an hour for the anesthesia to wear off, and the nurses asked me questions, monitored my heart rate, blood pressure, things like that...I only vaguely remember them talking to me. I...think one of them showed my a picture of my appendix? After I woke up a bit more I asked one of them if she had showed me a picture and she said yes, but I was still pretty woozy so I might have imagined that too. Then they wheeled me down to the Short Stay wing so I could wake up a bit more. I was down there for, oh, about an hour too. I finally left the hospital around six with my mom hovering around me. SHE MADE ME PUT ON HOSPITAL BOOTIES, YOU GUYS****. Totally unnecessary.
When I got home my little sister freaked out quietly FOR ONCE and I slept on the couch on and off until about nine. Then I went to bed. THUS ENDS MY EXCITING STORY. The very compressed version of it, anyway.
Now I'm supposed to not move and drink lots of fluid, and I can't shower until tomorrow :/ My mom washed my hair for me in the sink though ♥ I can't lift anything more than 10-15 pounds either, which means my parents will be carrying all of my stuff up three flights of stairs. Poor mom & dad rhyme. Oh, and I can't do any strenuous physical activity for about two weeks. I'm not in a whole lot of pain, but it's kind of hard to sit up i.e. curling my stomach/abdomen area does not lead to happy things. I have to shuffle around the house too, which is annoying. They gave me painkillers which are FANTASTIC and an ice pack which is possibly even more fantastic. The only real problematic things are a) sitting up/standing up and b) my throat. It's scratchy from the breathing tube they put in, but that's not all. My uvula (little ball thing that hangs in the back of your throat) is swollen, making it longer than usual which just feels fucking weird. When I talk it hits my tongue and sometimes it actually rests on top of it auggggggghguhdgkla;jwoe329sksg. This makes talking difficult because it feels like I have something stuck in my throat all the goddamn time. The swelling is supposed to be down by tomorrow, though. Hopefully.
OKAY I'M DONE NOW GUYS
*by "first" I mean "after they asked me a whole bunch of questions that they would ask me again and again the whole day"
**it makes an isosceles triangle on my stomach I CAN NEVER ESCAPE YOU MATH
***they kept on asking me about the eating/drinking thing. this did not help in any way imaginable. also because it made me totally paranoid about throwing up, a process which I despise and loathe.
**** I was wearing flip-flops; it was cold; she was afraid in the three feet from the hospital to the car I would catch cold AND DIE. she's my mom, what can I say.