♠ APPLICATION FOR entranceway ♠
Character Name: SPADES SLICK
Series: HOMESTUCK
Timeline: After going down the manhole/ladder near the end of the INTERMISSION.
Canon Resource Link: YOU GET TWO. :|
Spades Slick [Actual Character I am applying for] & [Who he used to be].
Character Background: A long time ago SPADES SLICK used to go by the rank/name of ARCHAGENT JACK NOIR. This was kind of a big deal because he was a rather high-class agent of Derse who worked directly under the Queen. Unfortunately, he hated this job because she was a HUGE BITCH BLUH BLUH and over time he gained so much hatred for her that he decided he would go and get her exiled.
It worked.
Unfortunately, she turned right around (centuries later under her new name ((Snowman))) and had him exiled as well so that he couldn't get his grubby fingers on the powerful QUEEN'S RING. IN THE END THOUGH it seemed to work out better for JACK (though now he is the SCURRILOUS STRAGGLER because he got to wander through the desert of the Alternian Wasteland for Gog knows how long. Wait. That's not a good thing? You're lying, right? That's totally awesome.
Oh, wait that's not the awesome part. My bad.
So during his travels he met back up with his old 'friends'/underlings/hate-friends the Brute, DIGNITARY, and the DROLL. They eventually built a town together and it is implied that it became successful. Come on it has casinos and anywhere that has casinos is totally wicked awesome in anyone's book and they should all be jealous. Once they were all there they took on new names (the Straggler obviously taking up SPADES SLICK and together they formed the dastardly MIDNIGHT CREW which deserves the fear and respect of everyone ever. They also became a wicked awesome JAZZ BAND. It was totally wicked awesome. you should be jealous and I should stop repeating myself. This is what I get for writing applications at 4am after work while listening to Backstreet Boys.
Sometime after building the town they began a rivalry with another gang of thugs... The Felt. The Felt are a special lot because they have control over certain properties of time that makes doing pretty much anything to them a pain in the ass. 3/4 members of the MIDNIGHT CREW agree that The Felt are annoying as hell and deserve death by burning. No one is probably sure about CLUBS DEUCE's opinion on things because he is silly and just generally kind of adorable so the thought of him truly hating anyone is hard to believe. The Felt are giant pains in the ass though. They even knocked over one of the Crew's favorite casinos and you know what Slick decided to do then?
That's right. He decided to go to their mansion and kill every single one of the green motherfuckers so dead that they would wish he didn't kill them so dead. He brought his Crew along and they all split up to take the jolly green giants down. Unfortunately, they were unable to kill all of the Felt members because one of them (ironically the one being Slick would really want to kill) has a strange power over the universe. If you kill number 8, Snowman, you destroy the universe. In case you don't remember I will re-inform you that the former Black Queen and Snowman are in fact the same being. Imagine the absolute RAGE AND FRUSTRATION this must cause Slick. It's a lot. Regardless, after much ridiculous time jumping and shenanigans as well as losing an eye (thanks to Snowman's goddamn cigarette holder) the Crew managed to arrive at a giant safe.
Despite warnings from Clover (4) Slick went ahead and pried open the vault with Crowbar's Crowbar which caused a hell of a rift in their time line and jumped our dastardly leader into a rather UNDESIRABLE TIME LINE where everyone of the Felt (except for Snowman) and everyone of the Crew (except for himself) were dead. Normally, this would be a cause for alarm, but Slick just carried on his way into a room with a door on the floor with a giant Spade symbol on it. Just before opening it he had his arm ripped off by Snowman's whip because (she's a huge bitch) he was being an ass and not giving a lady her cigarette holder back (because she's a huge bitch). She then locked him inside the vault to presumably rot in hell.
Slick opened the door anyway and headed down the ladder he found there... and straight into Wonderland.
Abilities/Special Powers: SPADES SLICK doesn't so much have any special abilities more than he just does things incredibly well. So while the abilities are not unique, he still manages to execute them in a way that is unique to him and the MIDNIGHT CREW.
He also has a wicked awesome inventory with him, and without it he is kind of... well, screwed honestly. While he is able to carry five WEAPONS with him at any point in time he is only allowed to carry one item. Without the use of his expandable inventory (which takes the form as a rather normal looking DECK OF CARDS) which protects his OH SO IMPORTANT BACK UP HAT which protects his precious TWO (2) LICORICE SCOTTY DOGS.
Then again this canon is just silly. Also, he kept a body in there once. Probably more than once. Just because he can.
ANYWAY. MORE INFORMATION ON HIS INVENTORY:
The WAR CHEST is his portable inventory which appears at will anytime he has his trusty DECK OF CARDS with him. It is his way of being able to withdraw anything he wants from it at any time. He carries so much crap in here I don't even---. However, there IS a limit to what he withdraws. It's that he has to have originally have put an item into it first before he can take it out again. So basically he can only have what he has. Whoo-hoo! In this case that would be a bunch of random crap. MORE SPECIFICALLY: A bunch of blades, some playing cards, and a variety of other miscellaneous stuff. Also he has a nifty VENDETTA ITINERARY and a HEIST MAP. So basically a hit-list of all the Felt (Which except for number 8 (Snowman) has everyone marked off of it) and a map of Lord English's manor/Felt base. Fun times, that.
He also plays the best goddamn jazz piano ever, man. Like... seriously. It's gorgeous in the 'fake album' that The Midnight Crew was given and just ahhhhhhhh. It is lovely. You are jealous. Point is he's probably had centuries to just be naturally good at that kind of thing so he's fabulous. Sadly, he is lacking an arm now so THIS WILL BE FUN. By fun I mean will probably frustrate him for awhile until he figures out how to play with one hand.
His cards have neat tricks, but otherwise it's just that he's a strong and calculating mobster with EXTREME anger issues who is more than willing to slit your throat or beat your head in with his CAST IRON HORSE HITCHER [IE: the best weapon ever]. He can also pick up someone who is RIDICULOUSLY larger than him (girth-wise), but he doesn't seem to be able to hold him for very long. So despite having super strength of sorts he does seem to get worn out/lose strength after awhile.
Third-Person Sample:
> There were a lot of things you hadn't expected to happen today. In fact, only the brutal massacre of jolly green assholes had gone according to your plans and even that had gotten a little out of hand. Oh. That's right. You lost an arm today, didn't you? That really sucked.
That sucked almost as much as falling down a ladder because you realized climbing with one hand was a hell of a lot harder than you had anticipated it to be. It sucked almost as much as finding yourself trapped in a pile of snow that filled the cracks in your carapace with a freezing cold that made you almost consider wanting death to take you into its embrace. You manage to escape that horrid fate though and run inside before your carapace decides it wants to just fall to pieces or something ridiculous like that. Being in the cold sucks when you have a shell that is simply not compatible with this strange and fluffy white substance.
Oh, well. What will you do? That open door over there looks promising. If someone is inside maybe you can hold them at knife point until you get some goddamn answers. Actually, that sounds like a pretty good idea to you so you decide to go investigate this strange mansion you found yourself in. At least it's not green.
First-Person Sample:
alright listen up ive got to ask a few questions
is anybody here alive
who the fuck puts a ladder leading down to a field of snow
fucking answer me or ill rip your eyes out and stab your brain with the blunt end of my razor
Series: HOMESTUCK
Timeline: After going down the manhole/ladder near the end of the INTERMISSION.
Canon Resource Link: YOU GET TWO. :|
Spades Slick [Actual Character I am applying for] & [Who he used to be].
Character Background: A long time ago SPADES SLICK used to go by the rank/name of ARCHAGENT JACK NOIR. This was kind of a big deal because he was a rather high-class agent of Derse who worked directly under the Queen. Unfortunately, he hated this job because she was a HUGE BITCH BLUH BLUH and over time he gained so much hatred for her that he decided he would go and get her exiled.
It worked.
Unfortunately, she turned right around (centuries later under her new name ((Snowman))) and had him exiled as well so that he couldn't get his grubby fingers on the powerful QUEEN'S RING. IN THE END THOUGH it seemed to work out better for JACK (though now he is the SCURRILOUS STRAGGLER because he got to wander through the desert of the Alternian Wasteland for Gog knows how long. Wait. That's not a good thing? You're lying, right? That's totally awesome.
Oh, wait that's not the awesome part. My bad.
So during his travels he met back up with his old 'friends'/underlings/hate-friends the Brute, DIGNITARY, and the DROLL. They eventually built a town together and it is implied that it became successful. Come on it has casinos and anywhere that has casinos is totally wicked awesome in anyone's book and they should all be jealous. Once they were all there they took on new names (the Straggler obviously taking up SPADES SLICK and together they formed the dastardly MIDNIGHT CREW which deserves the fear and respect of everyone ever. They also became a wicked awesome JAZZ BAND. It was totally wicked awesome. you should be jealous and I should stop repeating myself. This is what I get for writing applications at 4am after work while listening to Backstreet Boys.
Sometime after building the town they began a rivalry with another gang of thugs... The Felt. The Felt are a special lot because they have control over certain properties of time that makes doing pretty much anything to them a pain in the ass. 3/4 members of the MIDNIGHT CREW agree that The Felt are annoying as hell and deserve death by burning. No one is probably sure about CLUBS DEUCE's opinion on things because he is silly and just generally kind of adorable so the thought of him truly hating anyone is hard to believe. The Felt are giant pains in the ass though. They even knocked over one of the Crew's favorite casinos and you know what Slick decided to do then?
That's right. He decided to go to their mansion and kill every single one of the green motherfuckers so dead that they would wish he didn't kill them so dead. He brought his Crew along and they all split up to take the jolly green giants down. Unfortunately, they were unable to kill all of the Felt members because one of them (ironically the one being Slick would really want to kill) has a strange power over the universe. If you kill number 8, Snowman, you destroy the universe. In case you don't remember I will re-inform you that the former Black Queen and Snowman are in fact the same being. Imagine the absolute RAGE AND FRUSTRATION this must cause Slick. It's a lot. Regardless, after much ridiculous time jumping and shenanigans as well as losing an eye (thanks to Snowman's goddamn cigarette holder) the Crew managed to arrive at a giant safe.
Despite warnings from Clover (4) Slick went ahead and pried open the vault with Crowbar's Crowbar which caused a hell of a rift in their time line and jumped our dastardly leader into a rather UNDESIRABLE TIME LINE where everyone of the Felt (except for Snowman) and everyone of the Crew (except for himself) were dead. Normally, this would be a cause for alarm, but Slick just carried on his way into a room with a door on the floor with a giant Spade symbol on it. Just before opening it he had his arm ripped off by Snowman's whip because (she's a huge bitch) he was being an ass and not giving a lady her cigarette holder back (because she's a huge bitch). She then locked him inside the vault to presumably rot in hell.
Slick opened the door anyway and headed down the ladder he found there... and straight into Wonderland.
Abilities/Special Powers: SPADES SLICK doesn't so much have any special abilities more than he just does things incredibly well. So while the abilities are not unique, he still manages to execute them in a way that is unique to him and the MIDNIGHT CREW.
He also has a wicked awesome inventory with him, and without it he is kind of... well, screwed honestly. While he is able to carry five WEAPONS with him at any point in time he is only allowed to carry one item. Without the use of his expandable inventory (which takes the form as a rather normal looking DECK OF CARDS) which protects his OH SO IMPORTANT BACK UP HAT which protects his precious TWO (2) LICORICE SCOTTY DOGS.
Then again this canon is just silly. Also, he kept a body in there once. Probably more than once. Just because he can.
ANYWAY. MORE INFORMATION ON HIS INVENTORY:
The WAR CHEST is his portable inventory which appears at will anytime he has his trusty DECK OF CARDS with him. It is his way of being able to withdraw anything he wants from it at any time. He carries so much crap in here I don't even---. However, there IS a limit to what he withdraws. It's that he has to have originally have put an item into it first before he can take it out again. So basically he can only have what he has. Whoo-hoo! In this case that would be a bunch of random crap. MORE SPECIFICALLY: A bunch of blades, some playing cards, and a variety of other miscellaneous stuff. Also he has a nifty VENDETTA ITINERARY and a HEIST MAP. So basically a hit-list of all the Felt (Which except for number 8 (Snowman) has everyone marked off of it) and a map of Lord English's manor/Felt base. Fun times, that.
He also plays the best goddamn jazz piano ever, man. Like... seriously. It's gorgeous in the 'fake album' that The Midnight Crew was given and just ahhhhhhhh. It is lovely. You are jealous. Point is he's probably had centuries to just be naturally good at that kind of thing so he's fabulous. Sadly, he is lacking an arm now so THIS WILL BE FUN. By fun I mean will probably frustrate him for awhile until he figures out how to play with one hand.
His cards have neat tricks, but otherwise it's just that he's a strong and calculating mobster with EXTREME anger issues who is more than willing to slit your throat or beat your head in with his CAST IRON HORSE HITCHER [IE: the best weapon ever]. He can also pick up someone who is RIDICULOUSLY larger than him (girth-wise), but he doesn't seem to be able to hold him for very long. So despite having super strength of sorts he does seem to get worn out/lose strength after awhile.
Third-Person Sample:
> There were a lot of things you hadn't expected to happen today. In fact, only the brutal massacre of jolly green assholes had gone according to your plans and even that had gotten a little out of hand. Oh. That's right. You lost an arm today, didn't you? That really sucked.
That sucked almost as much as falling down a ladder because you realized climbing with one hand was a hell of a lot harder than you had anticipated it to be. It sucked almost as much as finding yourself trapped in a pile of snow that filled the cracks in your carapace with a freezing cold that made you almost consider wanting death to take you into its embrace. You manage to escape that horrid fate though and run inside before your carapace decides it wants to just fall to pieces or something ridiculous like that. Being in the cold sucks when you have a shell that is simply not compatible with this strange and fluffy white substance.
Oh, well. What will you do? That open door over there looks promising. If someone is inside maybe you can hold them at knife point until you get some goddamn answers. Actually, that sounds like a pretty good idea to you so you decide to go investigate this strange mansion you found yourself in. At least it's not green.
First-Person Sample:
alright listen up ive got to ask a few questions
is anybody here alive
who the fuck puts a ladder leading down to a field of snow
fucking answer me or ill rip your eyes out and stab your brain with the blunt end of my razor