(Untitled)

[terrypurple73]

I'm crabby and sad this morning. Not overwhelmingly so, but enough that I can't get my butt off the couch to go to the pool. I can go tomorrow, I know, but I've been awake since about 6:00, and while it seems a waste to not go today, I just can't get motivated to do it. So I'm telling myself that I'll spend my morning cleaning up the house and

Comments

[peachnettie]

That totally sucks. I'm sorry.
Have you talked to Laura about helping coach Tom on his emails the way you're coaching Joe? Maybe you ladies could mediate things without the boys ever knowing you're doing it.

[terrypurple73]

I think she was doing some of it, but not as much as I was. As you'll see when I update in a minute, she actually made them sit down together tonight when Joe went over to pick up half of the beer-making supplies from Tom. Four million points for Laura! Sounds like things are better, which is surprising, but great. Not 100% better, but better on several levels I guess. Yea!

[demonbaby19]

I'm always a bit suspicious of people who have a history of refusing to speak to friends or close family members. I mean, there's always the chance that he got very unlucky and there were perfectly valid reasons each time he decided to cut someone out of his life. But you also can't help wondering if there are some shortcomings on his side too.

I hope it works out soon. Nerd friends are important.

[terrypurple73]

I've been explaining a lot of Tom's behavior by looking at his past relationships (family and friends- I don't know his romantic history). I know he left home at about 16, and I've often wondered if his tendency to cut off friends is his 16-year-old self (not to get too psychological/therapy-ish about it) still trying to work out how to handle conflict. I mean, when you make a big decision like that at 16, it's probably not that appealing to look back and wonder if you did the right thing, or if there are other ways to handle awful times. I don't know enough about his home life- he doesn't get into it much, and really, he should see a therapist for that, not just me- but I wonder how that history and the current stuff plays into each other. It's so much easier in the short-term to end relationships in anger than to do the work required to move forward.
Luckily, they worked things out tonight in a bunch of ways, thank goodness. Nerd friends are really important, and I'm glad this isn't wrecked.