Songfic - 『 オトシモノ 』
Title: オトシモノ (Otoshimono - Lost Things)
Pairings: Akame
Summary: Lost dreams, compromised principles, change in directions, extreme differences... at the end of the day, was it my fault that we lost something so precious?
Notes: オトシモノis a song written and sung by MIWA so you can fairly guess that I do not own the song. The translation below is a combination of the translations done by Heiwa Fansubs and verduistering; I just made it flow easier. (^_~)v
大事な君のオトシモノ
気付かずに風吹いて
吹かれて飛んでいく 手の届かない
遠くへどこまでも
早くここに戻らなきゃと That precious thing you lost,
You didn’t even realize that the wind had blown it away
Out of your reach, it flew away
Rushing off to somewhere,
Never to return here again March 2005
“No.” Jin glared at Johnny-san. “I already told you, I won’t be taking any acting jobs until you agree for KAT-TUN to debut.”
The old man massaged his head, migraine slowly building up. “Jin-kun, do you understand your position? You do not have the right to boycott offers.” The president paused, trying to find a better way to phrase his next words. “Your popularity rose because you acted in Gokusen 2. Now, if we ride on that height, then 2006 will be the year for KAT-TUN to debut. This year is just too early for you guys.”
“I don’t get it! It’s 2005 right now, so what difference does it make if we debut a year earlier than you had planned?”
“Do you really want me to answer you honestly?” The old man’s voice was soft, yet threatening.
Jin wasn’t scared. He wanted to know the truth. They’ve been working their asses off, ever since that 2002 concert, a concert KAT-TUN fans demanded to have, what more does Johnny want from them?
“Tell me then! Be honest with us! If you don’t want us to debut, just say so and I’ll be more than happy to submit my resignation letter.” This time, Jin felt it was his turn to intimidate the old man.
“Jin...” A fleeting touch on his arm from Kazuya made Jin remember that his best friend and younger band mate was with him.
Jin turned to Kazuya and demanded. “Help me out here. Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Chill, okay?” Kazuya gave Jin a smile and a patronizing pat on the head.
The taller of the two scowled. “Don’t treat me like a kid.”
“Well, you’re acting like one right now.” Kazuya reasoned out. “Johnny-san is the Jimusho’s president. Give him the respect that he deserves.” He lectured and smirked in triumph when Jin gave him a small nod.
“The group is not mature enough to debut.” Johnny honestly admitted. “And until I see the band change its group dynamics, you will never debut.”
“I understand.” Kame, the unofficial leader of KAT-TUN, replied. “We will work on it.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Johnny nodded in approval at Kame’s statement. “Now that we have that out in the open, will you accept the job for this spring drama?” He turned to Jin.
“The hell I will!” Jin irritably said, and left the office in a rush.
Kazuya bowed. “I’m really sorry for the way he is acting.”
“It’s not your fault, kid.” Johnny continued rubbing his forehead’s temple. “Follow him for me, will you? If he doesn’t accept this offer, I don’t think there will ever be a time for your band to debut. We need to establish your names in the industry, and acting is a good way to do it.”
“I know what you mean.” Kame shook his head. “Please, allow me to talk to him. He’s just overwhelmed. We all thought that there was a chance for debut after filming Gokusen 2.”
“I know, and I am sorry for giving you a false hope.”
“If you would excuse me, I need to drag that idiot back here by his ears.”
Johnny laughed. “You’re a good match for him, Kazuya-kun. Run along now, and do as you had said. I am expecting a show of defiance when you show up here with him later.”
Kame amusedly shook his head. “You always loved brawls between us, don’t you?”
“Of course! It’s the most amusing thing in the world.” Johnny winked.
“If you say so...” Kame left and ran after Jin, whom he knew would be in the cafeteria. The older boy always desired to eat cake after he had a disagreement with somebody, so that’s most likely where he’ll find his best friend.
僕は必死に追いかけた
「いまさら間に合わない」と
君は言うけれど
それでも
あきらめない Distraught, I ran after it
You told me,
“You wouldn’t make it in time”
Nevertheless,
I didn’t want to give up “But he... Kame!” Jin whined. “I don’t want to do this! Why are you pushing this matter anyways? I don’t get it...” He said, and with such passion, he forked his way through finishing the last bite of his cake.
“We need to build up our names in this industry, Jin.”
Kame seemed older when he said that, and Jin didn’t like seeing the younger boy looked older than his age. He was younger than him, damn it, but he allowed the boy continue.
“I want KAT-TUN to debut, do you understand that? I thought that was what you wanted?”
“I do... but I want to debut now. I still don’t understand why we can’t debut NOW!”
“Johnny-san needs to look for a chance first before we can do that. Don’t you believe in him? I do. I don’t think he will lead us astray. If he says that there’s still something lacking in our group, then let’s find out what it is then fix it. We need to change for the better so that we will be allowed to debut.”
“Then why do I need to act?”
“Am I speaking to a large boulder here?!” Kame lost his cool and gave Jin a light punch on the head. “Do I really need to elaborate more on we need to build up our names in this industry, or is that understandable as it is?” He then proceeded to give light punches on Jin’s chest.
“Geez. Stop it!” Jin tried to get away from those blows, but to no avail, Kame delivered them efficiently. “Fine, I get it. I just have to act, right?”
“Yep.”
“But... Johnny-san must have been upset with me. Maybe he changed his mind and gave the role to... say, MatsuJun.”
“I doubt it.” Kame smiled encouragingly at his band mate. “He wants you to do it, so you’ll do it, okay? If you can’t do it for him, then do it for me... for us.”
“Okay...” Jin grabbed the younger man and embraced him tightly. “I’ll do it for both of us.”
They heard clearing of throats, and both turned to the direction where it came from.
“What about, I’ll do it for the band?” It was clear that Ueda didn’t find it amusing to hear Jin saying both of us, and it was noticeable that the other three remaining members of KAT-TUN wasn’t pleased with that as well.
“Er, I didn’t know you were there!” Jin released Kame from his hold and scratched his head sheepishly. “Had I known, I would have made us all do a group hug and say I’ll do it for the band.”
“Yeah right.” Koki dismissed the matter. He knew Jin didn’t really mean just him and Kame because he knows what Jin wants, and it’s not a selfish want because he has included all KAT-TUN members in his dreams.
“Go, and tell Johnny-san you had a change of heart.” Maru advised. “I just overheard Nishikido saying he was going to negotiate the role.”
“The hell he would be negotiating it out of me!” Jin grabbed Kame’s hands. “Come on, let’s beat the shortie to Johnny’s office.”
Kame smiled, and then subjected himself to Jin.
失くしたものの大切さを
もう一度光にあてて輝かせたい
想いが欠けて消えそうなら
あの星屑集めて君に届けてみせるから
待ってて The important thing you lost
I want to hold it to the light for it to shine again
And if your resolve is about to disappear
I’ll collect countless of stardust and send them over to you
So please wait September 2005
“Shut up! We’ll get the role, you’ll see!” Jin glared, and even gave Yamashita Tomohisa the finger for testing him.
“Jin, behave.” It was clear that Kame wasn’t amused with the way Jin was acting.
“Yeah, listen to your master Jinnie-boy.” Yamapi spitefully said master towards Kamenashi. He didn’t like the boy, not now, not ever. How Jin was able to stomach Kamenashi’s attitude, was beyond his comprehension.
Jin glared at Yamapi before excusing himself, and Yamapi in extension, from Kame. The younger boy simply nodded and re-read his lines once again. Jin dragged Yamapi in a corner to confront him. “Yamapi, shut up. You know he’s my best friend.”
“And what am I, your other woman? I’m also your best friend, you idiot!”
“Are you jealous?” Jin was amused to hear Pi’s retort.
“I am not. I just don’t like the guy, okay? He’s a sissy. Can you believe he actually cried when I ate his pudding?”
Jin snickered. “I think you’re forgetting the fact that after he cried, he gave you a punch that knocked your lights off for the next 30 minutes.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t like mentioning that part.” Yamapi frowned. “He’s going to destroy you someday, you know? I just know it...”
“No, you don’t know anything. Now please, just be civil towards him, okay? Your anger towards him is unfounded. His mother made that pudding. Even I would kill for it!” Jin clamped his hands on Yamapi’s shoulders.
“Next up, Akanishi Jin.”A drama staff called out.
“Hai!” Jin answered the call, and gestured to Yamapi to head back to their seats. “Play nice now.” Jin warns Yamapi, and the latter just shrugged nonchalantly.
“I will if he doesn’t open that mouth of his.”
Jin sighed, and headed for the room where the station is holding the auditions, while Yamapi headed towards Kame.
I don’t like hanging out with Yamapi... but because he’s Jin’s other best friend... then I will do everything to tolerate his presence. Kame thought without knowing that Yamapi shared the same sentiment. To keep himself busy, again, he re-read the script he had for the nth time.
“Kamenashi-senpai!”
Both Yamapi and Kame turned to the direction of the voice’s owner.
“Oh, and Yamashita-senpai.” Yuuto bowed apologetically to Yamapi, an even distinguished senpai than Kamenashi.
Kame rolled his eyes. If Yamashita will say so much a word with Yuuto’s failure to greet a much prominent senpai that he was more than Kamenashi, he will surely blow a fuse. Grateful that Yamashita didn’t, he gave Yuuto an encouraging smile.
“So how was your audition?” Kame gestured for Yuuto to take the seat that Jin vacated.
It was clear that Yamashita was also interested, so Yuuto smiled excitedly at them both and answered Kame’s question. “It went great! I did everything I can there... so I really hope I’ll get the part.”
Kame, always the good senpai that he was, ruffled Yuuto’s hair. “Good job, kiddo. I’m sure you’ll get it.”
Yamapi snorted. “Don’t give him false hopes, baka.” He couldn’t help but comment.
The tense and antagonistic atmosphere between the two started back up. Yuuto wondered if he should get out of the warzone before it hits him.
Contrary to Yuuto’s expectation, Kame didn’t blow lose his temper. Instead, Kame just smiled at Yamashita. “It doesn’t help to be optimistic at times, you know, Yamashita-senpai.”
“Next up, Kamenashi Kazuya!” A staff announced. Kame gracefully stood up, and at that very moment, Yuuto was thanking the heavenly gods for watching over him.
“Kamenashi-senpai, do your best there!” Yuuto cheered.
“Thanks.” Kame winked at the younger boy.
Yamapi couldn’t help but butt in. “Yeah, break your leg out there, Turtle-chan.” He taunted.
“Break a leg, you mean? I will, don’t you worry.” Kame replied sardonically before leaving.
-----
“Sorry I wasn’t chosen.” Jin muttered, maneuvering the car out of NTV’s premises.
“It’s not your fault...” That was all Kame could say. “I don’t know, Jin. I think I will refuse the part.”
Jin accidentally stepped on the breaks when he heard Kame’s statement; when he stopped, honking of the cars behind them and some yelling of curses soon followed. Jin cursed and then released the breaks. “Sorry, that was...”
Kame laughed. “Was that too shocking for you to hear?”
“What do you think?” Jin countered sarcastically. “Look, I know Pi’s been an asshole to you... but to refuse an offer because you need to work with him is a bit extreme, don’t you think?”
“Says you who didn’t want to act in Anego because Johnny refused to OK our debut this year.” Kame bit back.
Jin laughed. “That seemed ages ago... and well, you got me out there, right? This time, it’s my responsibility to make sure that you get that role.”
Kame face palmed. “I don’t know how this could happen. I was hoping to act with you again when Johnny offered the audition slots to us... I don’t like this one bit, Jin.”
“We need to build up our names in this industry. Do those words seem familiar to you?”
“Yes.” Kame pouted. He hates it when someone slaps his own words to his face.
“So I trust that you know the need to accept the role.” Jin said, ending the topic smoothly. “And Kame? You can kick his ass, you know? Don’t worry about me. I can hold him off myself.”
-----
“You’re... going to release a single with Pi?” Jin was dumbstruck. When he encouraged Kame to take the Nobuta wo Produce role, he wasn’t expecting a single to come with it.
“Yes... you’re upset, aren’t you?”
“No... I am more shocked than upset.” Jin said honestly. “I think you should go for it... this would hurt our band mates but they know better to disapprove of this.” In his mind, he was saying, I know better to disapprove of this.
“This was Johnny-san’s decision... not the drama staff.” Kame cleared his throat. “Will that give you enough motivation to disapprove the single?”
Kame himself didn’t want to debut if it wasn’t with KAT-TUN, that much Jin could tell. As much as he wanted to oppose Johnny’s decision, Jin knew that the old man was toying with them, giving him a reason to impede KAT-TUN’s debut. He wouldn’t give the old man the satisfaction, that’s why he’s going to allow this.
大事な君のオトシモノ
なくしたのは 私のせい？
夢に近づくほど
離れてくのが
怖くて逃げていたの Was it my fault
That you lost something so precious?
Afraid that I was getting too close to your dream,
That I was going to take it away from you,
So you ran away September 2006
“Answer me Jin, why?” Kame’s voice croaked from the onslaught of his emotions.
“I need some time off.”
“Why? Just when the band debuted--”
Jin cut Kame off. “I worked hard to make sure that the band debuts... I think I deserve rest after all these years of hard work.” He stated, his heart clenching when he saw his friend giving him a shocked look.
“I know that you’ve been working hard-- I-- I wasn’t implying that you don’t deserve the break... but Jin... why now?”
“I have to rethink my options.” Jin blurted out. “All these years, I was set on debuting... that was my goal... and when we did, I felt that I lost a part of myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know myself, okay? That’s why I’m going to do some soul searching.” After a few minutes of silence, Jin started again. “Kazu?”
“...” Kame couldn’t say anything. His heart ached. He wanted to cry, to shout at his best friend... but he understood the reason for this.
Jin sighed. “Don’t worry, I’m not running away. I’ll come back, I promise.”
逢いたいと思う気持ちは
同じはずなのにすれ違う
「もう君がわからない」と
つぶやかれた Ah,
涙が止まらない
Believing that we shared the same passion,
You proved me wrong
When you murmured,
“I don’t know you anymore”
Ah, my tears won’t stop January 2007
“Is he really coming here?” Junno fidgeted on his seat.
“Yes he will.” Johnny gestured for the five members of KAT-TUN to take their respective seats. “He’s already on his way to this restaurant. Order anything you want. I need you boys to talk this through because his return is vital at this point of your career. Make sure that you convince him to comeback.” He turned to leave, but Ueda’s voice stopped him.
“Where are you going?”
“Like I said, this is a talk between band members. I need you to agree to something without me hindering or overruling your decisions.” He spotted Jin coming inside. “And here he is.”
Jin smiled at the old man. “Long time no see, Johnny-san.” Out of sheer happiness to see someone familiar, Jin hugged the man as if he was his own grandfather.
Johnny returned the hug with the same fervor. “I see that you became... healthy during your stay here.” He commented when Jin released his embrace on him.
“What can I say? Los Angeles agrees with me.” Jin was all smiles when he said that.
“It was nice seeing you. Well, I’ll be leaving now. See you back at the hotel.” Johnny waved his goodbye, and was gone.
“Hi guys.” Jin took the seat next to Kame. “Damn, you all look good!”
“You don’t.” Koki aggressively shot. “You’re... fat. You know that’s not a good thing with us, Johnny’s.”
“Lay off, Koki.” Kame ordered, and Koki looked like he was a puppy that Kame had kicked.
“Let’s get straight to the point.” Ueda started. “We know you’re on indefinite leave... but we all want to know how long this would take. The band’s career depends on this.”
“I don’t know...” Was all Jin could offer to his band mates. “Truth be told, I’m still undecided with what to do with my career.”
“Do you want to come back to us?” Maru inquired. “And answer me truthfully!”
“I...” Jin paused, his eyes roamed from one member to another. They all threw him expectant looks. Kame’s eyes, particularly even gave him a message that said, ‘you promised me you would’. Jin gathered his resolve and answered. “I...” He said, wavering in front of his friends. “I want to come back, if you still want me back.”
Yells of yes were heard. Even Koki, the person who wanted to murder Jin when he learned that the older man was leaving the group, was grateful to learn that Jin wants to come back.
“This is a relief! Come on; let’s celebrate by splurging on food.” Ueda smiled from ear-to-ear. It was tough on him when Jin left because he shouldered all of Jin’s lines on their songs.
Merriment soon followed and no one, save for Jin, noticed that Kame wasn’t as relieved as everyone was.
-----
After eating, the boys just hung out at the restaurant.
That is until Junno couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Hey do you guys wanna explore the city?” Junno burped when he asked that.
“That’s a good plan.” Koki agreed.
“I can show you around.” Jin offered. “I haven’t been here in New York but I’ve heard of some places that we can visit.” He grinned and the others consented with that plan.
After paying the bill, they headed out and Kazuya excused himself. “I’m beat.” He said with an apologetic tone. “You guys have fun.”
“Oh, alright.” KAT-TUN members pouted but they understood.
Kame started walking his way back to the hotel. Seeing Kame’s back made Jin change his mind.
“You know what, I changed my mind. I’m going to accompany Kame back to your hotel.”
“As always, you just want his company.” Ueda teased, but Jin didn’t pay heed to that cajole. Instead, he ran up to Kame.
“Hey again.” Jin slowed down to match Kame’s pace.
Kame was shocked. “Aren’t you going to tour them around?”
Jin grinned. “Who am I kidding? I don’t know this place.”
“Ah.”
“And... I want to talk to you too.” Just then, they reached the hotel and both men entered the building.
“...” Kame said nothing in response to Jin.
“Kazu?”
“Hm?”
“Aren’t you happy?”
“Why should I be?” Kame’s voice hitched a bit.
“I told you I was going to come back, right?”
“You did... but I don’t... I don’t see that you really want to come back.” Kame accusingly said. “I know you Jin... or at least, I knew you. I don’t understand you at all now!”
“Okay... so what got up your ass this time?” Jin snapped.
“Excuse me?” Kame shouted, and that gathered the attention of everyone present at the hotel’s lobby.
“You idiot, are you planning to make a scene here?” Jin irritably said, and dragged Kame to the elevator area. “What floor?” He asked, pressing the up button.
“Why do you care? I don’t see any need to tell you.”
“Kame, don’t do this to me please.” The elevator chimed and its door opened. Jin dragged Kame inside the lift. “Press the damned floor.” He said in a threatening tone when Kame didn’t make a move.
Giving in, Kame pressed the button for the 23rd floor.
“We’ll talk inside your room.”
“The hell we are.”
True to his words, Kame didn’t speak with Jin, no matter how hard the latter tried to make the first talk.
失くしたものの大切さを
失ってから今はじめて気が付いたの
心が欠けて足りないなら
月のカケラで君の心を満月にするよ
信じてThe importance of those things you lost
Did you notice them when they were first lost?
If your heart is lacking in anything
I’ll take fragments of the moon and make your heart into a full moon
Have faith in meMay 2007
“He still refuses to talk with you?” Yamapi smiled as he drank directly from his beer bottle. He and Jin were at their favorite club for their weekly nigh out.
“I don’t get him, Pi. Why is he acting this way?”
“Why do you think he’s acting that way?” Yamapi returned the question.
Jin glowered at his best friend. “Did he talk to you about this?”
“Saaa~ what do you think?” Yamapi snickered, seeing Jin glower at him some more. “Of course he did. He’s my friend too, you know?”
Jin closed his eyes remembering how Kame and Yamapi fixed their differences during the filming of Nobuta wo Produce. It was no easy feat for the two men, but they managed to do it and now, they are closer than Jin and Kame ever was. For some reason, that ticked Jin off the wrong way.
“Okay, since you’re my best friend... I’m going to tell you something... I’m going to tell you this because... well, because Kame didn’t really forbid me to tell you this...” Yamapi gave in to the forlorn look Jin had.
Jin visibly perked up. “Okay. So, tell me!”
“Kame loves you.”
Jin puckered his brow. “Of course he does. I love him too.”
Yamapi laughed. “No, he loves you.”
“...”
“Like love, love you!” Yamapi continued. “In the romantic sense.”
That got Jin going. He stood up and left Yamapi on his own to find Kame and have him explain himself.
“Oi!” Yamapi called out after him. “Your bill! Don’t tell me I’m going to pay for this?”
“Yeah, you will!” Jin yelled and walked out of the club.
Yamapi shook his head. “It’s about time you two... you know.” In his mind, he apologized to Kame.
-----
Persistent knocking on his door got Kame irritated. Just when he was just about to fall asleep, an idiot decided to disturb him! He opened the door. “What?”
“Don’t what me!” Jin forced his way inside Kame’s apartment. “Why is it that Pi knows you love me, and I don’t know?”
“Pi said what now?” Kame gritted his teeth. That idiot will get it from him! He calmly closed the door to his apartment and gestured for Jin to sit on the couch.
“That you love me.” Jin said, staring at Kame pensively as he sat down.
“Let me guess... you’re disgusted with me?” The smaller man agitatedly asked.
“No! Stop putting words into my mouth.” Jin glared. “When have you started feeling this way towards me?”
Kazuya decided there was no use of bluffing his way out of this mess so he answered truthfully. “For as long as I could remember.”
“Bull shit. You’ve been in love with me for ages and you never cared to inform me?”
“Why should I?” Kame answered, still defiant as Jin could remember him to be. “I know you won’t feel the same way. I’d rather keep it to myself.”
Jin snorted. “How is telling Pi keeping it to yourself?” He asked rhetorically.
“He doesn’t count. He got the information out of me while I was drunk.”
“And so, you tell everyone when you’re drunk? So by now, many people must know already except, ironically, me, the damned object of your affection!”
Kame laughed sadly, shaking his head softly. “Great, you’re implying I get drunk a lot.”
“No! That’s not it! Kame, we’re best of friends. What changed? Why are you acting this way... why... why can’t you see that I feel the same way towards you?” Jin made his real feelings slip and that caught Kame’s attention.
“You what?”
“I love you too.” Jin got up the couch, rushed to Kame, and gave him the hugging of a lifetime. “You dolt!” He murmured when he felt Kame shaking against him. “Don’t cry on me, okay? I’m wearing a vintage shirt and it’s really expensive.”
Kame laughed, and the air of tension went away.
こぼれおちる涙が星になったら
君の眼にも映ってくれるのかな
ひとりじゃ明日がこわいよ
行かないでよ
ここにいてよ If each of my tears will become stars
Will they reflect you as you are sleeping?
I’m so afraid of being alone tomorrow
So please don’t go,
And just stay here with me September 2008
“What do you mean...?” Kazuya grasped his chest, feeling his hear clenching.
“You heard me.” Jin sighed. “I’m breaking up with you.”
“Why?”
“Higher ups told me to.”
“Is it Johnny-san? Why now? We’ve been together for more than a year. Why the need to intervene now?”
“No, it’s not Johnny-san. It’s one of the bigots up there. I can’t remember who it was.” Seeing that Kame won’t be speaking anytime soon, Jin continued. “They instructed me to date a girl and I chose that Nishiyama Maki to accomplish this task.”
“So you’re not going to fight to be with me?” Kame asked, hiding his pain under a monotonous voice.
“It’s not like that. Whatever happens to both of us happens to the rest of the band. I just know they will drop the band if I don’t comply with their wishes, and hell if that happens. I’ll do everything to prevent that.”
Kame suddenly smiled, but streaks of tears marred his beautiful face. Jin stopped himself from consoling the younger man. In his mind, this was the right path to take, and Kame needs to understand that.
“Also,” Jin added, having decided to deliver the final blow to Kame. “They offered me to star in a movie if I obey obediently.”
Kame laughed hollowly. “Good for you.” He said, swallowing the nonexistent lump on his throat. “Leave.”
“What?”
“Leave please.” Kame closed his eyes. “Please, before I break down in front of you.”
“So you understand?”
“Yes, and I hate myself for being able to do so.”
Jin nodded and left Kame who sunk to his knees, his strength suddenly leaving him.
Hearing Jin open the door to his apartment, Kame fought the desire to turn and convince the other not to leave him. The door didn’t immediately close. Kame reckoned it was because Jin didn’t want to leave him... but when the door shut close, there was nothing else Kame could do but cry his heart out.
ふたりはずっと大丈夫と
もう一度強く君に抱きしめてほしい
震える夜はそばにいてよ
どうか勇気をください
私はなにも変わってないよ I want you to embrace me tightly,
Tell me that we’ll always be together
No matter what, stay with me
And give me courage on the nights when I shiver
I’m still the same, I haven’t changed at all December 2009
As much as everyone would have wanted to fix the relationship between Kame and Jin, there was nothing that could mend it.
Ueda helplessly glanced to Junno. “What would it take for them to talk?”
The taller man shrugged. “Beats me... I got tired trying to do something about it so let’s just leave them as is.”
“But this is irritating the hell out of me!”
“Who isn’t getting upset about this, Tatchan?” Junno patted Ueda’s shoulders. “They feel more upset than we ever could be...” His voice trailed seeing Kame enter KAT-TUN’s break room.
“Hey.” Kame smiled as he took the seat across Ueda and Junno. “What are you gossiping about?”
“Nothing much; Junno was just telling me how much he’s saved up on his coin bank.” Ueda quickly made something up.
“Yeah! Tatchan doesn’t believe I already saved about 100,000 yen!” Junno pouted for effect, and that totally made Kame crack up.
“I told him if he really saved up that much, then he should treat us Yakiniku, but he refuses to do so... in short, he hasn’t really saved up that much. Wouldn’t you agree?” Ueda evilly added, seeing an opportunity to con the normally frugal Junno into treating him dinner.
Kame grinned conspiratorially at Ueda. “Yeah, I think the only way you can prove that you saved up that much is to treat us.” He good-naturedly winked and laughed at Junno’s expense.
The laugh Kame surprised Junno and Ueda. Kame laughed, really laughed to his heart’s content. It was a first after his break up with Jin.
Ueda glanced at Junno, as if to say, you were right to say leave them be.
Junno smiled. “Fine! I’ll treat you Yakiniku just to prove it!” He says confidently.
“Yatta!” Kame cheered, not noticing Ueda mouthing thanks to Junno who just winked at the older man.
“What’s this? I heard Yakiniku!”
The three men turned and saw Jin with his arms in akimbo by the door.
“Yeah.” Kame answered, smiling but with that guarded look on his face.
“Then I should join you too.” Jin casually said as he entered the break room. “I have news to break to you guys too.” He cleared his throat. “Can everyone from the band attend?”
“But I only have enough coin bank savings for these two here.” Junno pointed to Ueda and Kame.
Jin smiled. “Don’t worry, um, I’ll pay for the meal. Treat them next time.” He out his phone and dialed a number. “Hey Koki? Yeah, is Maru with you? Great, then meet us in Yajirobe, my treat.” With that, he ended the call. “We should get going. They’ll meet us there.” He grabbed his bag and left.
Kame, Ueda and Junno stared at each other.
“Um, come on. Let’s follow him.” Ueda also grabbed his bag and gestured for the other two to follow suit.
-----
“A solo concert has been offered to me, and I decided to do it.” Jin unceremoniously announced. “Hope that’s cool with you all.”
“Well, you already agreed to it, correct?” Maru confirmed.
Jin sniffed. “Yeah, I already did. I wasn’t really looking for approval, you guys.”
“You’re a real bastard, you know that?” Kame couldn’t help but comment. “Go, do your stuff. After all, that’s what you do best.” He left, but not before leaving some bills to the table. “Here, I’ll pay for my share. I don’t want a treat from a bastard.”
When Kazuya left, accusing looks were thrown in Jin’s direction.
“I’m sorry it had to come one like that, but that was the only way I know I could deliver it without Kame getting hurt.” Jin said firmly.
“Whatever man.” Koki sighed. “Please run after him and make sure he’s okay. After everything you did to him, this is the worst.”
Jin took out his credit card and left it with Junno. “Just charge everything to that.”
“Will gladly do.” Junno said. “Now what are you waiting for?”
Jin left to follow Kazuya. He caught sight of the younger man hailing a cab, so he immediately ran to catch up. When Kame was about to close the door, Jin arrived and forcefully entered the cab. “South 23rd avenue please.” He instructed the cab driver.
“I’m tired of you Jin.”
“I know.”
“...”
“I’m sorry.”
“...”
“I still love you.” Jin lets out.
“But that’s not enough for you to stay, isn’t it.”
“Yes.”
“Hah. Who would have thought this would end this way?” Kame closed his eyes. “You know, I convinced myself that this is just a nightmare that I can wake up from anytime I wanted.”
“How ironic is that? We’re doing the same thing.” Jin offered. “For all the things I’ve done to you... I sincerely apologize for them. This has gone too far, I cannot walk out now.”
“I know.” Kame tiredly said. “Looking back, I think everything’s my fault...” He sighed, the past four years flashed in his mind. “I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t convince you to take Anego. Will we have a different ending?”
“I don’t know, Kazu.”
“I’ll set you free, Jin.”
“I’ve already let you go.”
Kame chuckled, hurt evident in his eyes. “I know you already have. You wouldn’t have done this if you haven’t.” He gazed lovingly at Jin. “I love you. Do your best. Don’t make me regret ever setting you free.”
Jin nodded.
“Good.” Kame said, and when the cab stopped at the stop light, he opened the door and left Jin.
失ってから大切さに
気付いても今から輝きとりもどせる
想いが欠けて消えそうなら
あの星屑集めて君に届けてみせるから
待ってて 信じてRealizing the significance after it has been lost,
I will now make it regain its shine once more
And if your resolve is about to disappear
I’ll collect countless of stardust and send them over to you
So please wait, have faith in meDecember 2010
“Will you be here for the Countdown Concert?” Kame talked to the speakerphone as he walked around the room to clean up before his mother arrives to pick up Ran.
“Nope.” Jin said. “Johnny-san supposed it was too early to do that.”
“Ah.”
“Enough talk about me. How have you been?”
“I’m great.” Kame had a real smile on his face. “I got to play baseball all year long.”
Jin laughed, before turning serious. “Can I tell you something?”
“Sure, shoot it.” Kame eagerly said.
“I’m afraid.”
“You are?” Kame paused. “Why?”
“I don’t know if I did the right thing. Leaving you, I mean.”
Kame smiled. “That’s already history. You got what you wanted the most in the world, right?”
“Ah... but I’m not too sure now if this is what I really wanted.”
“Stop it. I hate the fact that you’re becoming indecisive. Runaway from this again, and I’ll kick your ass.”
Jin laughed. “If you can.”
“Sure I can.” The doorbell rang and Kame grabbed the handset on his way to the door. He frowned when he saw no one from the peephole.
“No you can’t!” Jin insisted.
“I totally can!” Kame argued. Again, the doorbell sounded. Still seeing nobody from the peephole, he decided to open the door and got the shock of his life when Jin suddenly appeared in front of him. “Jin!”
“You’re not a badass, Kazu, so you can’t.” Jin v-signed ala Hayato. “Tadaima!
The shock of their unexpected meeting made Kame cry happy tears. “Okaeri.” He replied.
Finis /// Back to Fic List
-----
A/N: Is it so obvious that I’m trying to be optimistic here; optimism that is definitely not for the band or Jin’s career, but for my love of writing Akame? I’ve said this countless of times, but writing them has never been the same for me ever since Jin left for real this time. It took me months, and this song, to realize that I needed to write something encouraging like this. I want to believe that I will still be able continue writing them without bias, without hurt. Does that make sense? Probably it won’t. I don’t understand it myself either. ^^;;
Comments/feedbacks/violent reactions are most welcomed. Trust me, I need them right now and see where I am failing -- aside from grammar and shifting of POVs on this songfic of course, because that’s already a given! Haha! *gets bricked*
Comment ください! Tell me if I failed writing more than I already did with the past updates! ORZ
Pairings: Akame
Summary: Lost dreams, compromised principles, change in directions, extreme differences... at the end of the day, was it my fault that we lost something so precious?
Notes: オトシモノis a song written and sung by MIWA so you can fairly guess that I do not own the song. The translation below is a combination of the translations done by Heiwa Fansubs and verduistering; I just made it flow easier. (^_~)v
大事な君のオトシモノ
気付かずに風吹いて
吹かれて飛んでいく 手の届かない
遠くへどこまでも
早くここに戻らなきゃと That precious thing you lost,
You didn’t even realize that the wind had blown it away
Out of your reach, it flew away
Rushing off to somewhere,
Never to return here again March 2005
“No.” Jin glared at Johnny-san. “I already told you, I won’t be taking any acting jobs until you agree for KAT-TUN to debut.”
The old man massaged his head, migraine slowly building up. “Jin-kun, do you understand your position? You do not have the right to boycott offers.” The president paused, trying to find a better way to phrase his next words. “Your popularity rose because you acted in Gokusen 2. Now, if we ride on that height, then 2006 will be the year for KAT-TUN to debut. This year is just too early for you guys.”
“I don’t get it! It’s 2005 right now, so what difference does it make if we debut a year earlier than you had planned?”
“Do you really want me to answer you honestly?” The old man’s voice was soft, yet threatening.
Jin wasn’t scared. He wanted to know the truth. They’ve been working their asses off, ever since that 2002 concert, a concert KAT-TUN fans demanded to have, what more does Johnny want from them?
“Tell me then! Be honest with us! If you don’t want us to debut, just say so and I’ll be more than happy to submit my resignation letter.” This time, Jin felt it was his turn to intimidate the old man.
“Jin...” A fleeting touch on his arm from Kazuya made Jin remember that his best friend and younger band mate was with him.
Jin turned to Kazuya and demanded. “Help me out here. Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Chill, okay?” Kazuya gave Jin a smile and a patronizing pat on the head.
The taller of the two scowled. “Don’t treat me like a kid.”
“Well, you’re acting like one right now.” Kazuya reasoned out. “Johnny-san is the Jimusho’s president. Give him the respect that he deserves.” He lectured and smirked in triumph when Jin gave him a small nod.
“The group is not mature enough to debut.” Johnny honestly admitted. “And until I see the band change its group dynamics, you will never debut.”
“I understand.” Kame, the unofficial leader of KAT-TUN, replied. “We will work on it.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Johnny nodded in approval at Kame’s statement. “Now that we have that out in the open, will you accept the job for this spring drama?” He turned to Jin.
“The hell I will!” Jin irritably said, and left the office in a rush.
Kazuya bowed. “I’m really sorry for the way he is acting.”
“It’s not your fault, kid.” Johnny continued rubbing his forehead’s temple. “Follow him for me, will you? If he doesn’t accept this offer, I don’t think there will ever be a time for your band to debut. We need to establish your names in the industry, and acting is a good way to do it.”
“I know what you mean.” Kame shook his head. “Please, allow me to talk to him. He’s just overwhelmed. We all thought that there was a chance for debut after filming Gokusen 2.”
“I know, and I am sorry for giving you a false hope.”
“If you would excuse me, I need to drag that idiot back here by his ears.”
Johnny laughed. “You’re a good match for him, Kazuya-kun. Run along now, and do as you had said. I am expecting a show of defiance when you show up here with him later.”
Kame amusedly shook his head. “You always loved brawls between us, don’t you?”
“Of course! It’s the most amusing thing in the world.” Johnny winked.
“If you say so...” Kame left and ran after Jin, whom he knew would be in the cafeteria. The older boy always desired to eat cake after he had a disagreement with somebody, so that’s most likely where he’ll find his best friend.
僕は必死に追いかけた
「いまさら間に合わない」と
君は言うけれど
それでも
あきらめない Distraught, I ran after it
You told me,
“You wouldn’t make it in time”
Nevertheless,
I didn’t want to give up “But he... Kame!” Jin whined. “I don’t want to do this! Why are you pushing this matter anyways? I don’t get it...” He said, and with such passion, he forked his way through finishing the last bite of his cake.
“We need to build up our names in this industry, Jin.”
Kame seemed older when he said that, and Jin didn’t like seeing the younger boy looked older than his age. He was younger than him, damn it, but he allowed the boy continue.
“I want KAT-TUN to debut, do you understand that? I thought that was what you wanted?”
“I do... but I want to debut now. I still don’t understand why we can’t debut NOW!”
“Johnny-san needs to look for a chance first before we can do that. Don’t you believe in him? I do. I don’t think he will lead us astray. If he says that there’s still something lacking in our group, then let’s find out what it is then fix it. We need to change for the better so that we will be allowed to debut.”
“Then why do I need to act?”
“Am I speaking to a large boulder here?!” Kame lost his cool and gave Jin a light punch on the head. “Do I really need to elaborate more on we need to build up our names in this industry, or is that understandable as it is?” He then proceeded to give light punches on Jin’s chest.
“Geez. Stop it!” Jin tried to get away from those blows, but to no avail, Kame delivered them efficiently. “Fine, I get it. I just have to act, right?”
“Yep.”
“But... Johnny-san must have been upset with me. Maybe he changed his mind and gave the role to... say, MatsuJun.”
“I doubt it.” Kame smiled encouragingly at his band mate. “He wants you to do it, so you’ll do it, okay? If you can’t do it for him, then do it for me... for us.”
“Okay...” Jin grabbed the younger man and embraced him tightly. “I’ll do it for both of us.”
They heard clearing of throats, and both turned to the direction where it came from.
“What about, I’ll do it for the band?” It was clear that Ueda didn’t find it amusing to hear Jin saying both of us, and it was noticeable that the other three remaining members of KAT-TUN wasn’t pleased with that as well.
“Er, I didn’t know you were there!” Jin released Kame from his hold and scratched his head sheepishly. “Had I known, I would have made us all do a group hug and say I’ll do it for the band.”
“Yeah right.” Koki dismissed the matter. He knew Jin didn’t really mean just him and Kame because he knows what Jin wants, and it’s not a selfish want because he has included all KAT-TUN members in his dreams.
“Go, and tell Johnny-san you had a change of heart.” Maru advised. “I just overheard Nishikido saying he was going to negotiate the role.”
“The hell he would be negotiating it out of me!” Jin grabbed Kame’s hands. “Come on, let’s beat the shortie to Johnny’s office.”
Kame smiled, and then subjected himself to Jin.
失くしたものの大切さを
もう一度光にあてて輝かせたい
想いが欠けて消えそうなら
あの星屑集めて君に届けてみせるから
待ってて The important thing you lost
I want to hold it to the light for it to shine again
And if your resolve is about to disappear
I’ll collect countless of stardust and send them over to you
So please wait September 2005
“Shut up! We’ll get the role, you’ll see!” Jin glared, and even gave Yamashita Tomohisa the finger for testing him.
“Jin, behave.” It was clear that Kame wasn’t amused with the way Jin was acting.
“Yeah, listen to your master Jinnie-boy.” Yamapi spitefully said master towards Kamenashi. He didn’t like the boy, not now, not ever. How Jin was able to stomach Kamenashi’s attitude, was beyond his comprehension.
Jin glared at Yamapi before excusing himself, and Yamapi in extension, from Kame. The younger boy simply nodded and re-read his lines once again. Jin dragged Yamapi in a corner to confront him. “Yamapi, shut up. You know he’s my best friend.”
“And what am I, your other woman? I’m also your best friend, you idiot!”
“Are you jealous?” Jin was amused to hear Pi’s retort.
“I am not. I just don’t like the guy, okay? He’s a sissy. Can you believe he actually cried when I ate his pudding?”
Jin snickered. “I think you’re forgetting the fact that after he cried, he gave you a punch that knocked your lights off for the next 30 minutes.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t like mentioning that part.” Yamapi frowned. “He’s going to destroy you someday, you know? I just know it...”
“No, you don’t know anything. Now please, just be civil towards him, okay? Your anger towards him is unfounded. His mother made that pudding. Even I would kill for it!” Jin clamped his hands on Yamapi’s shoulders.
“Next up, Akanishi Jin.”A drama staff called out.
“Hai!” Jin answered the call, and gestured to Yamapi to head back to their seats. “Play nice now.” Jin warns Yamapi, and the latter just shrugged nonchalantly.
“I will if he doesn’t open that mouth of his.”
Jin sighed, and headed for the room where the station is holding the auditions, while Yamapi headed towards Kame.
I don’t like hanging out with Yamapi... but because he’s Jin’s other best friend... then I will do everything to tolerate his presence. Kame thought without knowing that Yamapi shared the same sentiment. To keep himself busy, again, he re-read the script he had for the nth time.
“Kamenashi-senpai!”
Both Yamapi and Kame turned to the direction of the voice’s owner.
“Oh, and Yamashita-senpai.” Yuuto bowed apologetically to Yamapi, an even distinguished senpai than Kamenashi.
Kame rolled his eyes. If Yamashita will say so much a word with Yuuto’s failure to greet a much prominent senpai that he was more than Kamenashi, he will surely blow a fuse. Grateful that Yamashita didn’t, he gave Yuuto an encouraging smile.
“So how was your audition?” Kame gestured for Yuuto to take the seat that Jin vacated.
It was clear that Yamashita was also interested, so Yuuto smiled excitedly at them both and answered Kame’s question. “It went great! I did everything I can there... so I really hope I’ll get the part.”
Kame, always the good senpai that he was, ruffled Yuuto’s hair. “Good job, kiddo. I’m sure you’ll get it.”
Yamapi snorted. “Don’t give him false hopes, baka.” He couldn’t help but comment.
The tense and antagonistic atmosphere between the two started back up. Yuuto wondered if he should get out of the warzone before it hits him.
Contrary to Yuuto’s expectation, Kame didn’t blow lose his temper. Instead, Kame just smiled at Yamashita. “It doesn’t help to be optimistic at times, you know, Yamashita-senpai.”
“Next up, Kamenashi Kazuya!” A staff announced. Kame gracefully stood up, and at that very moment, Yuuto was thanking the heavenly gods for watching over him.
“Kamenashi-senpai, do your best there!” Yuuto cheered.
“Thanks.” Kame winked at the younger boy.
Yamapi couldn’t help but butt in. “Yeah, break your leg out there, Turtle-chan.” He taunted.
“Break a leg, you mean? I will, don’t you worry.” Kame replied sardonically before leaving.
-----
“Sorry I wasn’t chosen.” Jin muttered, maneuvering the car out of NTV’s premises.
“It’s not your fault...” That was all Kame could say. “I don’t know, Jin. I think I will refuse the part.”
Jin accidentally stepped on the breaks when he heard Kame’s statement; when he stopped, honking of the cars behind them and some yelling of curses soon followed. Jin cursed and then released the breaks. “Sorry, that was...”
Kame laughed. “Was that too shocking for you to hear?”
“What do you think?” Jin countered sarcastically. “Look, I know Pi’s been an asshole to you... but to refuse an offer because you need to work with him is a bit extreme, don’t you think?”
“Says you who didn’t want to act in Anego because Johnny refused to OK our debut this year.” Kame bit back.
Jin laughed. “That seemed ages ago... and well, you got me out there, right? This time, it’s my responsibility to make sure that you get that role.”
Kame face palmed. “I don’t know how this could happen. I was hoping to act with you again when Johnny offered the audition slots to us... I don’t like this one bit, Jin.”
“We need to build up our names in this industry. Do those words seem familiar to you?”
“Yes.” Kame pouted. He hates it when someone slaps his own words to his face.
“So I trust that you know the need to accept the role.” Jin said, ending the topic smoothly. “And Kame? You can kick his ass, you know? Don’t worry about me. I can hold him off myself.”
-----
“You’re... going to release a single with Pi?” Jin was dumbstruck. When he encouraged Kame to take the Nobuta wo Produce role, he wasn’t expecting a single to come with it.
“Yes... you’re upset, aren’t you?”
“No... I am more shocked than upset.” Jin said honestly. “I think you should go for it... this would hurt our band mates but they know better to disapprove of this.” In his mind, he was saying, I know better to disapprove of this.
“This was Johnny-san’s decision... not the drama staff.” Kame cleared his throat. “Will that give you enough motivation to disapprove the single?”
Kame himself didn’t want to debut if it wasn’t with KAT-TUN, that much Jin could tell. As much as he wanted to oppose Johnny’s decision, Jin knew that the old man was toying with them, giving him a reason to impede KAT-TUN’s debut. He wouldn’t give the old man the satisfaction, that’s why he’s going to allow this.
大事な君のオトシモノ
なくしたのは 私のせい？
夢に近づくほど
離れてくのが
怖くて逃げていたの Was it my fault
That you lost something so precious?
Afraid that I was getting too close to your dream,
That I was going to take it away from you,
So you ran away September 2006
“Answer me Jin, why?” Kame’s voice croaked from the onslaught of his emotions.
“I need some time off.”
“Why? Just when the band debuted--”
Jin cut Kame off. “I worked hard to make sure that the band debuts... I think I deserve rest after all these years of hard work.” He stated, his heart clenching when he saw his friend giving him a shocked look.
“I know that you’ve been working hard-- I-- I wasn’t implying that you don’t deserve the break... but Jin... why now?”
“I have to rethink my options.” Jin blurted out. “All these years, I was set on debuting... that was my goal... and when we did, I felt that I lost a part of myself.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know myself, okay? That’s why I’m going to do some soul searching.” After a few minutes of silence, Jin started again. “Kazu?”
“...” Kame couldn’t say anything. His heart ached. He wanted to cry, to shout at his best friend... but he understood the reason for this.
Jin sighed. “Don’t worry, I’m not running away. I’ll come back, I promise.”
逢いたいと思う気持ちは
同じはずなのにすれ違う
「もう君がわからない」と
つぶやかれた Ah,
涙が止まらない
Believing that we shared the same passion,
You proved me wrong
When you murmured,
“I don’t know you anymore”
Ah, my tears won’t stop January 2007
“Is he really coming here?” Junno fidgeted on his seat.
“Yes he will.” Johnny gestured for the five members of KAT-TUN to take their respective seats. “He’s already on his way to this restaurant. Order anything you want. I need you boys to talk this through because his return is vital at this point of your career. Make sure that you convince him to comeback.” He turned to leave, but Ueda’s voice stopped him.
“Where are you going?”
“Like I said, this is a talk between band members. I need you to agree to something without me hindering or overruling your decisions.” He spotted Jin coming inside. “And here he is.”
Jin smiled at the old man. “Long time no see, Johnny-san.” Out of sheer happiness to see someone familiar, Jin hugged the man as if he was his own grandfather.
Johnny returned the hug with the same fervor. “I see that you became... healthy during your stay here.” He commented when Jin released his embrace on him.
“What can I say? Los Angeles agrees with me.” Jin was all smiles when he said that.
“It was nice seeing you. Well, I’ll be leaving now. See you back at the hotel.” Johnny waved his goodbye, and was gone.
“Hi guys.” Jin took the seat next to Kame. “Damn, you all look good!”
“You don’t.” Koki aggressively shot. “You’re... fat. You know that’s not a good thing with us, Johnny’s.”
“Lay off, Koki.” Kame ordered, and Koki looked like he was a puppy that Kame had kicked.
“Let’s get straight to the point.” Ueda started. “We know you’re on indefinite leave... but we all want to know how long this would take. The band’s career depends on this.”
“I don’t know...” Was all Jin could offer to his band mates. “Truth be told, I’m still undecided with what to do with my career.”
“Do you want to come back to us?” Maru inquired. “And answer me truthfully!”
“I...” Jin paused, his eyes roamed from one member to another. They all threw him expectant looks. Kame’s eyes, particularly even gave him a message that said, ‘you promised me you would’. Jin gathered his resolve and answered. “I...” He said, wavering in front of his friends. “I want to come back, if you still want me back.”
Yells of yes were heard. Even Koki, the person who wanted to murder Jin when he learned that the older man was leaving the group, was grateful to learn that Jin wants to come back.
“This is a relief! Come on; let’s celebrate by splurging on food.” Ueda smiled from ear-to-ear. It was tough on him when Jin left because he shouldered all of Jin’s lines on their songs.
Merriment soon followed and no one, save for Jin, noticed that Kame wasn’t as relieved as everyone was.
-----
After eating, the boys just hung out at the restaurant.
That is until Junno couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Hey do you guys wanna explore the city?” Junno burped when he asked that.
“That’s a good plan.” Koki agreed.
“I can show you around.” Jin offered. “I haven’t been here in New York but I’ve heard of some places that we can visit.” He grinned and the others consented with that plan.
After paying the bill, they headed out and Kazuya excused himself. “I’m beat.” He said with an apologetic tone. “You guys have fun.”
“Oh, alright.” KAT-TUN members pouted but they understood.
Kame started walking his way back to the hotel. Seeing Kame’s back made Jin change his mind.
“You know what, I changed my mind. I’m going to accompany Kame back to your hotel.”
“As always, you just want his company.” Ueda teased, but Jin didn’t pay heed to that cajole. Instead, he ran up to Kame.
“Hey again.” Jin slowed down to match Kame’s pace.
Kame was shocked. “Aren’t you going to tour them around?”
Jin grinned. “Who am I kidding? I don’t know this place.”
“Ah.”
“And... I want to talk to you too.” Just then, they reached the hotel and both men entered the building.
“...” Kame said nothing in response to Jin.
“Kazu?”
“Hm?”
“Aren’t you happy?”
“Why should I be?” Kame’s voice hitched a bit.
“I told you I was going to come back, right?”
“You did... but I don’t... I don’t see that you really want to come back.” Kame accusingly said. “I know you Jin... or at least, I knew you. I don’t understand you at all now!”
“Okay... so what got up your ass this time?” Jin snapped.
“Excuse me?” Kame shouted, and that gathered the attention of everyone present at the hotel’s lobby.
“You idiot, are you planning to make a scene here?” Jin irritably said, and dragged Kame to the elevator area. “What floor?” He asked, pressing the up button.
“Why do you care? I don’t see any need to tell you.”
“Kame, don’t do this to me please.” The elevator chimed and its door opened. Jin dragged Kame inside the lift. “Press the damned floor.” He said in a threatening tone when Kame didn’t make a move.
Giving in, Kame pressed the button for the 23rd floor.
“We’ll talk inside your room.”
“The hell we are.”
True to his words, Kame didn’t speak with Jin, no matter how hard the latter tried to make the first talk.
失くしたものの大切さを
失ってから今はじめて気が付いたの
心が欠けて足りないなら
月のカケラで君の心を満月にするよ
信じてThe importance of those things you lost
Did you notice them when they were first lost?
If your heart is lacking in anything
I’ll take fragments of the moon and make your heart into a full moon
Have faith in meMay 2007
“He still refuses to talk with you?” Yamapi smiled as he drank directly from his beer bottle. He and Jin were at their favorite club for their weekly nigh out.
“I don’t get him, Pi. Why is he acting this way?”
“Why do you think he’s acting that way?” Yamapi returned the question.
Jin glowered at his best friend. “Did he talk to you about this?”
“Saaa~ what do you think?” Yamapi snickered, seeing Jin glower at him some more. “Of course he did. He’s my friend too, you know?”
Jin closed his eyes remembering how Kame and Yamapi fixed their differences during the filming of Nobuta wo Produce. It was no easy feat for the two men, but they managed to do it and now, they are closer than Jin and Kame ever was. For some reason, that ticked Jin off the wrong way.
“Okay, since you’re my best friend... I’m going to tell you something... I’m going to tell you this because... well, because Kame didn’t really forbid me to tell you this...” Yamapi gave in to the forlorn look Jin had.
Jin visibly perked up. “Okay. So, tell me!”
“Kame loves you.”
Jin puckered his brow. “Of course he does. I love him too.”
Yamapi laughed. “No, he loves you.”
“...”
“Like love, love you!” Yamapi continued. “In the romantic sense.”
That got Jin going. He stood up and left Yamapi on his own to find Kame and have him explain himself.
“Oi!” Yamapi called out after him. “Your bill! Don’t tell me I’m going to pay for this?”
“Yeah, you will!” Jin yelled and walked out of the club.
Yamapi shook his head. “It’s about time you two... you know.” In his mind, he apologized to Kame.
-----
Persistent knocking on his door got Kame irritated. Just when he was just about to fall asleep, an idiot decided to disturb him! He opened the door. “What?”
“Don’t what me!” Jin forced his way inside Kame’s apartment. “Why is it that Pi knows you love me, and I don’t know?”
“Pi said what now?” Kame gritted his teeth. That idiot will get it from him! He calmly closed the door to his apartment and gestured for Jin to sit on the couch.
“That you love me.” Jin said, staring at Kame pensively as he sat down.
“Let me guess... you’re disgusted with me?” The smaller man agitatedly asked.
“No! Stop putting words into my mouth.” Jin glared. “When have you started feeling this way towards me?”
Kazuya decided there was no use of bluffing his way out of this mess so he answered truthfully. “For as long as I could remember.”
“Bull shit. You’ve been in love with me for ages and you never cared to inform me?”
“Why should I?” Kame answered, still defiant as Jin could remember him to be. “I know you won’t feel the same way. I’d rather keep it to myself.”
Jin snorted. “How is telling Pi keeping it to yourself?” He asked rhetorically.
“He doesn’t count. He got the information out of me while I was drunk.”
“And so, you tell everyone when you’re drunk? So by now, many people must know already except, ironically, me, the damned object of your affection!”
Kame laughed sadly, shaking his head softly. “Great, you’re implying I get drunk a lot.”
“No! That’s not it! Kame, we’re best of friends. What changed? Why are you acting this way... why... why can’t you see that I feel the same way towards you?” Jin made his real feelings slip and that caught Kame’s attention.
“You what?”
“I love you too.” Jin got up the couch, rushed to Kame, and gave him the hugging of a lifetime. “You dolt!” He murmured when he felt Kame shaking against him. “Don’t cry on me, okay? I’m wearing a vintage shirt and it’s really expensive.”
Kame laughed, and the air of tension went away.
こぼれおちる涙が星になったら
君の眼にも映ってくれるのかな
ひとりじゃ明日がこわいよ
行かないでよ
ここにいてよ If each of my tears will become stars
Will they reflect you as you are sleeping?
I’m so afraid of being alone tomorrow
So please don’t go,
And just stay here with me September 2008
“What do you mean...?” Kazuya grasped his chest, feeling his hear clenching.
“You heard me.” Jin sighed. “I’m breaking up with you.”
“Why?”
“Higher ups told me to.”
“Is it Johnny-san? Why now? We’ve been together for more than a year. Why the need to intervene now?”
“No, it’s not Johnny-san. It’s one of the bigots up there. I can’t remember who it was.” Seeing that Kame won’t be speaking anytime soon, Jin continued. “They instructed me to date a girl and I chose that Nishiyama Maki to accomplish this task.”
“So you’re not going to fight to be with me?” Kame asked, hiding his pain under a monotonous voice.
“It’s not like that. Whatever happens to both of us happens to the rest of the band. I just know they will drop the band if I don’t comply with their wishes, and hell if that happens. I’ll do everything to prevent that.”
Kame suddenly smiled, but streaks of tears marred his beautiful face. Jin stopped himself from consoling the younger man. In his mind, this was the right path to take, and Kame needs to understand that.
“Also,” Jin added, having decided to deliver the final blow to Kame. “They offered me to star in a movie if I obey obediently.”
Kame laughed hollowly. “Good for you.” He said, swallowing the nonexistent lump on his throat. “Leave.”
“What?”
“Leave please.” Kame closed his eyes. “Please, before I break down in front of you.”
“So you understand?”
“Yes, and I hate myself for being able to do so.”
Jin nodded and left Kame who sunk to his knees, his strength suddenly leaving him.
Hearing Jin open the door to his apartment, Kame fought the desire to turn and convince the other not to leave him. The door didn’t immediately close. Kame reckoned it was because Jin didn’t want to leave him... but when the door shut close, there was nothing else Kame could do but cry his heart out.
ふたりはずっと大丈夫と
もう一度強く君に抱きしめてほしい
震える夜はそばにいてよ
どうか勇気をください
私はなにも変わってないよ I want you to embrace me tightly,
Tell me that we’ll always be together
No matter what, stay with me
And give me courage on the nights when I shiver
I’m still the same, I haven’t changed at all December 2009
As much as everyone would have wanted to fix the relationship between Kame and Jin, there was nothing that could mend it.
Ueda helplessly glanced to Junno. “What would it take for them to talk?”
The taller man shrugged. “Beats me... I got tired trying to do something about it so let’s just leave them as is.”
“But this is irritating the hell out of me!”
“Who isn’t getting upset about this, Tatchan?” Junno patted Ueda’s shoulders. “They feel more upset than we ever could be...” His voice trailed seeing Kame enter KAT-TUN’s break room.
“Hey.” Kame smiled as he took the seat across Ueda and Junno. “What are you gossiping about?”
“Nothing much; Junno was just telling me how much he’s saved up on his coin bank.” Ueda quickly made something up.
“Yeah! Tatchan doesn’t believe I already saved about 100,000 yen!” Junno pouted for effect, and that totally made Kame crack up.
“I told him if he really saved up that much, then he should treat us Yakiniku, but he refuses to do so... in short, he hasn’t really saved up that much. Wouldn’t you agree?” Ueda evilly added, seeing an opportunity to con the normally frugal Junno into treating him dinner.
Kame grinned conspiratorially at Ueda. “Yeah, I think the only way you can prove that you saved up that much is to treat us.” He good-naturedly winked and laughed at Junno’s expense.
The laugh Kame surprised Junno and Ueda. Kame laughed, really laughed to his heart’s content. It was a first after his break up with Jin.
Ueda glanced at Junno, as if to say, you were right to say leave them be.
Junno smiled. “Fine! I’ll treat you Yakiniku just to prove it!” He says confidently.
“Yatta!” Kame cheered, not noticing Ueda mouthing thanks to Junno who just winked at the older man.
“What’s this? I heard Yakiniku!”
The three men turned and saw Jin with his arms in akimbo by the door.
“Yeah.” Kame answered, smiling but with that guarded look on his face.
“Then I should join you too.” Jin casually said as he entered the break room. “I have news to break to you guys too.” He cleared his throat. “Can everyone from the band attend?”
“But I only have enough coin bank savings for these two here.” Junno pointed to Ueda and Kame.
Jin smiled. “Don’t worry, um, I’ll pay for the meal. Treat them next time.” He out his phone and dialed a number. “Hey Koki? Yeah, is Maru with you? Great, then meet us in Yajirobe, my treat.” With that, he ended the call. “We should get going. They’ll meet us there.” He grabbed his bag and left.
Kame, Ueda and Junno stared at each other.
“Um, come on. Let’s follow him.” Ueda also grabbed his bag and gestured for the other two to follow suit.
-----
“A solo concert has been offered to me, and I decided to do it.” Jin unceremoniously announced. “Hope that’s cool with you all.”
“Well, you already agreed to it, correct?” Maru confirmed.
Jin sniffed. “Yeah, I already did. I wasn’t really looking for approval, you guys.”
“You’re a real bastard, you know that?” Kame couldn’t help but comment. “Go, do your stuff. After all, that’s what you do best.” He left, but not before leaving some bills to the table. “Here, I’ll pay for my share. I don’t want a treat from a bastard.”
When Kazuya left, accusing looks were thrown in Jin’s direction.
“I’m sorry it had to come one like that, but that was the only way I know I could deliver it without Kame getting hurt.” Jin said firmly.
“Whatever man.” Koki sighed. “Please run after him and make sure he’s okay. After everything you did to him, this is the worst.”
Jin took out his credit card and left it with Junno. “Just charge everything to that.”
“Will gladly do.” Junno said. “Now what are you waiting for?”
Jin left to follow Kazuya. He caught sight of the younger man hailing a cab, so he immediately ran to catch up. When Kame was about to close the door, Jin arrived and forcefully entered the cab. “South 23rd avenue please.” He instructed the cab driver.
“I’m tired of you Jin.”
“I know.”
“...”
“I’m sorry.”
“...”
“I still love you.” Jin lets out.
“But that’s not enough for you to stay, isn’t it.”
“Yes.”
“Hah. Who would have thought this would end this way?” Kame closed his eyes. “You know, I convinced myself that this is just a nightmare that I can wake up from anytime I wanted.”
“How ironic is that? We’re doing the same thing.” Jin offered. “For all the things I’ve done to you... I sincerely apologize for them. This has gone too far, I cannot walk out now.”
“I know.” Kame tiredly said. “Looking back, I think everything’s my fault...” He sighed, the past four years flashed in his mind. “I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t convince you to take Anego. Will we have a different ending?”
“I don’t know, Kazu.”
“I’ll set you free, Jin.”
“I’ve already let you go.”
Kame chuckled, hurt evident in his eyes. “I know you already have. You wouldn’t have done this if you haven’t.” He gazed lovingly at Jin. “I love you. Do your best. Don’t make me regret ever setting you free.”
Jin nodded.
“Good.” Kame said, and when the cab stopped at the stop light, he opened the door and left Jin.
失ってから大切さに
気付いても今から輝きとりもどせる
想いが欠けて消えそうなら
あの星屑集めて君に届けてみせるから
待ってて 信じてRealizing the significance after it has been lost,
I will now make it regain its shine once more
And if your resolve is about to disappear
I’ll collect countless of stardust and send them over to you
So please wait, have faith in meDecember 2010
“Will you be here for the Countdown Concert?” Kame talked to the speakerphone as he walked around the room to clean up before his mother arrives to pick up Ran.
“Nope.” Jin said. “Johnny-san supposed it was too early to do that.”
“Ah.”
“Enough talk about me. How have you been?”
“I’m great.” Kame had a real smile on his face. “I got to play baseball all year long.”
Jin laughed, before turning serious. “Can I tell you something?”
“Sure, shoot it.” Kame eagerly said.
“I’m afraid.”
“You are?” Kame paused. “Why?”
“I don’t know if I did the right thing. Leaving you, I mean.”
Kame smiled. “That’s already history. You got what you wanted the most in the world, right?”
“Ah... but I’m not too sure now if this is what I really wanted.”
“Stop it. I hate the fact that you’re becoming indecisive. Runaway from this again, and I’ll kick your ass.”
Jin laughed. “If you can.”
“Sure I can.” The doorbell rang and Kame grabbed the handset on his way to the door. He frowned when he saw no one from the peephole.
“No you can’t!” Jin insisted.
“I totally can!” Kame argued. Again, the doorbell sounded. Still seeing nobody from the peephole, he decided to open the door and got the shock of his life when Jin suddenly appeared in front of him. “Jin!”
“You’re not a badass, Kazu, so you can’t.” Jin v-signed ala Hayato. “Tadaima!
The shock of their unexpected meeting made Kame cry happy tears. “Okaeri.” He replied.
Finis /// Back to Fic List
-----
A/N: Is it so obvious that I’m trying to be optimistic here; optimism that is definitely not for the band or Jin’s career, but for my love of writing Akame? I’ve said this countless of times, but writing them has never been the same for me ever since Jin left for real this time. It took me months, and this song, to realize that I needed to write something encouraging like this. I want to believe that I will still be able continue writing them without bias, without hurt. Does that make sense? Probably it won’t. I don’t understand it myself either. ^^;;
Comments/feedbacks/violent reactions are most welcomed. Trust me, I need them right now and see where I am failing -- aside from grammar and shifting of POVs on this songfic of course, because that’s already a given! Haha! *gets bricked*
Comment ください! Tell me if I failed writing more than I already did with the past updates! ORZ