[electric bubble pop]

[testsubjectspaz]

        You could be there and you could be her, or are you both at the same time? This was the first thing said to me at the academy. I didn't know what it meant then, and I do know what it means now, but does it make any sense? Things never made sense then, it was all a kaleidescope of jumbled plastic images swirly through my ears and eyes and

Comments

[splinterofchaos]

I see you're still going for that incomprehensible style. Normally, I'd say it's getting old, but you're so good at it that even if the style is familiar, the concepts never overlap. I've never been able to do this in my writing because it feels incomplete, but reading this, I'm realizing that it only feels incomplete if I create too much setting. Create less, write less, and leave all the details in your head

[testsubjectspaz]

I think you misunderstood the bubbles. V.V

They're manifestations of the memories buried in his mind, but they rise immediately when he needs them. The drugs just heightened that. He's not conformed in any way, his body just acts out of reflex to any kind of perceived danger. That's what makes him a good "runner," every time he runs into danger while gathering supplies, it's immediately eliminated (you can kind of see that in the [High Jack] entry).

Also, is my style really still incomprehensible? It should be converging at least a little by now, even if you don't understand who Jack is "talking" to in this yet.

[splinterofchaos]

It is starting to become more comprehensible, you just haven't quite come into the "I can fully understand in one read" style that is what I consider comprehensible. You're very into the concept of what's happening. You don't spend much any time at all giving a true setting to your stories. Many people considering themselves experts say it's an amateurish tendency and I'm not saying your not an ametur (what you write in the future will blow whatever you write now out of the water), but I think it's a style that you use and I think you do it well

[testsubjectspaz]

Actually, yes. I was worried when you said at first that you didn't get it- you're the only one I think is going to bother trying to figure out what my writing means until I finish this. As for people who say that you should begin by immediately establishing what everything means, they've obviously never read "A Clockwork Orange." The book, right from the start, uses non-existent slang words to describe things, and it takes awhile to figure out their meaning. Slowly letting the setting slide into the reader's mind is more my style- it's like painting it. I actually know the general setting, and it's not something hard to develop quickly. I'm glad that you enjoy the style, too. Thanks for the comment!