it is your journal. use it as you wish. i'm cool with that. i wasn't judging you in your previous post or trying to tell you how to be. if it came across that way, i apologize
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the hardest part of finding a friend who sees you as you really are is that you will always see yourself differently from anybody else. it isn't people trying to be mean or blind or obtuse. it is simply that nobody else lives in your head.
well...actually, i have a friend who has at least three other people living in her head. but that is not what i am talking about.
also, real friends, i mean the ones who will stand up for you, cry with you, laugh with you, tolerate your rambling about stuff you enjoy even if they don't...those are hard as hell to find. i don't know why but they are. :(
I'm slowly trying to fix myself. I've tried getting out and making friends. I've done everything I can to get out and meet people in person. All those attempts have ended like this. Me just sitting here by myself even if I do my best to not loose contact with that person.
I don't have the money for help and the only thing keeping me together is the fact that I have to watch a kid almost every day and that my mom would miss me. My close friends are doing their best to support me.
Honestly the only answer I've come up with is moving out of this shitty state and finding somewhere else to go.
Of course, it's hard to fix things on your own. I'm not in your shoes, but I believe it's hard to do, especially with no money. Maybe continuing job searching will help you get the money? I do know it's hard to find a job these days, but it's worth a re-start.
It's good that you have your close friends & your mother supporting you as best as possible. You're not completely alone. Maybe you should try sticking to them more often so you don't feel quite as alone in this. Going to them & your mother for help seems like is the best thing you could do at the moment, & really try pulling through with their support.
That might be! Maybe you have to be in a big city or something.
I job search every day. It really gets to you when you spend a few hours every day throwing your app out everywhere and no one answers even when you call.
I'm getting by slowly with their support. It's all I have.
Yeah, I'm considering a major location change. This is just maddening here in a desert with fuck all around. Literally a friend of mine looked up the area where I live and we had a good laugh for a couple hours about how empty this place is.
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well...actually, i have a friend who has at least three other people living in her head. but that is not what i am talking about.
also, real friends, i mean the ones who will stand up for you, cry with you, laugh with you, tolerate your rambling about stuff you enjoy even if they don't...those are hard as hell to find. i don't know why but they are. :(
Reply
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I don't have the money for help and the only thing keeping me together is the fact that I have to watch a kid almost every day and that my mom would miss me. My close friends are doing their best to support me.
Honestly the only answer I've come up with is moving out of this shitty state and finding somewhere else to go.
Reply
It's good that you have your close friends & your mother supporting you as best as possible. You're not completely alone. Maybe you should try sticking to them more often so you don't feel quite as alone in this. Going to them & your mother for help seems like is the best thing you could do at the moment, & really try pulling through with their support.
That might be! Maybe you have to be in a big city or something.
Reply
I'm getting by slowly with their support. It's all I have.
Yeah, I'm considering a major location change. This is just maddening here in a desert with fuck all around. Literally a friend of mine looked up the area where I live and we had a good laugh for a couple hours about how empty this place is.
Reply
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