Attention epistolarians
I was reading a journal entry of a friend of a friend and became increasingly irritated by the content. This person chose a particularly long and unsatisfying way of saying "Love is the desire for two to become one, but that's hard." YEAH, AND THE SKY IS FUCKING BLUE AND CHINESE PEOPLE HAVE SLANTED EYES.
This journal writer's intellectual paraphrasing of the Spice Girls' "When Two Become One" has inspired me to write the following set of rules that every lonely guy should follow when writing a journal entry at 3:23 AM.
Before you wax faux-poetic on your livejournal, you should have the following prepared and sharpened:
1) A modest command of the English language.
2) Something relavent or interesting to convey to your friends.
3) The realization that what you write in your journal entry might infuriate a random passerby who is better educated and probably smarter than you.
4) The understanding that using words such as bourgeois, hoi polloi and zeitgeist liberally in arguments about "society" is the equivalent of invoking comparisons to Hitler at a discussion about race and instantly disqualifies you and what you say from any serious discussion. There is nothing more embarrassing than the notion that one is part of the intelligentsia when one is, in fact, not.
Livejournal is to pseudo-intellectualism what Paris Hilton is to the socialite crew. A whore. Filthy, fucking, whore.
This journal writer's intellectual paraphrasing of the Spice Girls' "When Two Become One" has inspired me to write the following set of rules that every lonely guy should follow when writing a journal entry at 3:23 AM.
Before you wax faux-poetic on your livejournal, you should have the following prepared and sharpened:
1) A modest command of the English language.
2) Something relavent or interesting to convey to your friends.
3) The realization that what you write in your journal entry might infuriate a random passerby who is better educated and probably smarter than you.
4) The understanding that using words such as bourgeois, hoi polloi and zeitgeist liberally in arguments about "society" is the equivalent of invoking comparisons to Hitler at a discussion about race and instantly disqualifies you and what you say from any serious discussion. There is nothing more embarrassing than the notion that one is part of the intelligentsia when one is, in fact, not.
Livejournal is to pseudo-intellectualism what Paris Hilton is to the socialite crew. A whore. Filthy, fucking, whore.