(no subject)
Mun Name: Linda, superfluously
AIM: Pb2Ag
Email: Lunapen@hotmail.com
Notes: Feel free to hit me up anytime if you have questions, comments, critiques, or just want to chat.
Also, if one of those mediums are undesirable, feel free to post here, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I'll even leave Anon posting on for you.
Character Name: The Order of the Teutonic Knights of St. Mary's Hospital in Jerusalem -> The Teutonic Order -> Gilbert Weillschmidt
Character Series: Axis Powers: Hetalia
Character Age: Taken from 1237, right after assimilating the Livonian Brotherhood of the Sword; appears very very young
Background: Historical information, canon information, and appearences.
Personality: Allow me to start by describing the culture of the 13th century before moving on to the Teutonic Order.
To begin, think of all those lovely stories you heard as a child of King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table-The beautiful, pure women and the clean-shaven knights in their shining, plate-mail armor. Got that all envisioned? I’ll give you a second to savor it. Alright, ready to move on?
Good.
Now, punch it in the face. Punch all those myths, those stories of heroism and nobility, kindness and love, the Church controlling it all-just start punching that shit. Don’t stop. Because it’s all a load of bull. Complete and utter bull.
To begin, let’s look to the idealized form of ‘pretty people’. Simply put: people in the Middle Ages were filthy. Believing in the miasmatic theory of disease, most people were certain that illness came from smell. In order to counter the “bad” smells that caused plagues and premature deaths, one had to counter them with their own smells. In a sense, the worst you smelled, the better protected you were. AKA: no one took baths. Ever. See THIS? Pretty, beautiful people in their clean clothes with perfect hair? LOAD. OF. PUPCATS. Throw both of them into a puddle of melted snow sitting on the streets of New York City, rip out some teeth (rot the rest), and set Guinevere’s hair on fire (don’t forget to put it out). Oh, and make them both tiny. Because nutrition sucked back then. THERE is your accurate picture of the Middle Ages. In fact, King John (the fail one who lost every land forever) was scoffed at for bathing once a month. It was completely absurd! Cleanliness of self was not a priority.
Next myth to bust: the crusades. In 1095, the Council of Clermont, led by Pope Urban II began the crusades. Now, while this event is one of the most documented in the Middle Ages, every. Single. Source. Says something completely different. I would know-they were a total bitch to read through. From gaining gold and riches to glory to defeating Saladin, the anti-Christ, to leaving your families because it’s the right thing to do, NONE OF THE SOURCES AGREE ON WHAT WAS SAID. NONE OF THEM. Thankfully, though, there were a two common themes. One, the idea of “riches.” While it’s almost certain Urban II meant the riches of the afterlife, when preaching to a bunch of money hungry, second sons (they inherent no land), his words were obviously twisted. Two, the idea of saving “Christian brothers” from the Muslim menace. Every crusade, when rationalized by the Christians, was a defensive, war of vengeance for the wrongs committed by others. It was the heathen’s fault that the Christians had to kill them. It was their fault for being so backwards and stupid that the Christians had to come and make it all right. Great job, guys. As your reward, you get CRUSADE’D.
While those seem to be the main themes of Urban’s speech, the majority of those who attended it heard the words “milk and honey,” “forgiveness,” and “Jerusalem,” before picking up their swords and starting an all out dash towards the Middle East.
Later, in Urban’s letters of 1096, he was just like, “lol this was so not what I was expecting. Oops, gais.” Oh, Christianity.
Now, while I could sit here and give you a big long lesson of each individual battle of each crusade and the events leading up to the increased violence and hatred against the Orthodox Greeks and anything not-Christian, but that’d take too long, and I’d have to break out the pictures. Which means you’d probably want to strangle me. So, I’ll cut to the chase.
Crusader states.
Looking to the Kingdom of Jerusalem, in 1143 Pope Celestine II ordered the Knights Hospitaller to manage a completely German hospital in Jerusalem. Since the crusaders came from everywhere, a lot of them didn’t speak the common languages of French or Latin. So, thus began a completely Germany hospital-run for German crusaders by German crusaders. This was the beginning of the German led religious institutions, as opposed to the typical French/Roman institutions.
Now, some distance away from Jerusalem was the city of Acre, where the birth of our precious Teutonic Order took place. In 1187 some merchants got together and were like, “Hey, let’s totally do a field hospital thing like they’ve got in Jerusalem over here. GERMANS ONLY.” Approved by the pope in 1192, and after adopting the Augustinian Rule, the Teutonic Order of Knights began. President Sarkozy was there. In 1198, they were just like “fuck all this saving lives shit-LET’S KILL SOME GODDAMNED MUSLIMS FUCKYEAH CHRIST IS AWESOME” and became a military order. The Pope was just like “awesome, man. Have fun you crazy kids” and legitimized the crusader group. The Teutonic Knights then bought a giant castle a little away from Acre and made it their headquarters. From that castle, they could collect the tolls of the ships heading to Jerusalem. Fuckyeah money. It’s pretty important.
While his heartland was chillin’ in Acre, Andrew II of Hungary, in 1211, BEGGED FOR THEIR HELP IN KICKING CUMAN ASS. So the Teutonic Order frolicked up to Hungary to protect Burzenland. The Teutonic Order spent the next decade kicking the shit out of everything ever with the assistance of Hungary.
Personality-wise, think of the most ADHD little boy you know. Like, the one who is constantly moving, pulling kid’s hair, getting into fights, wallowing in mud and staining his new clothes, climbing trees and throwing acorns at the other kids-this sums up the Teutonic Order pretty damn well.
He’s a brat and thinks he’s the best at whatever he sets his mind out to do. Which, in most cases, is true. Unfortunately, this results in a giant ego. And when little kids have giant egos, they never shut the fuck up. So, while he knows he’s the best, he won’t hesitate to spread the knowledge, if you will.
He’s also highly religious. Being a religious, crusading order, his foundation lies with the Roman Catholic Church and the Pope. While, yeah, sure, a lot of his Knights are there for the fame, glory, money, and redemption from Hell, his goal and duty is still to Christianize the pagans. The Teutonic Order is willing to do anything to complete his job, even if it means being completely ruthless, impassionate, and cruel during the process. Hell, in his mind, none of those words describe his actions, because he believes that when he burns a pagan’s village down or is massacring pagan women and children, he’s doing the right thing and bringing them to the glory of God. Eventually, he even betrays his best friend for religion, because he wanted to be under the authority of the Pope, not the Magyar king.
Despite the situation, and despite the odds, he’s a blood-thirsty little brat. If there’s even the opportunity for a battle, he’ll take it, and, well, even if there isn’t, he’ll make one, because that’s how he rolls.
And, remember, at the end of the day, he’s still a child-nation. He’s blunt, and unless someone is straight-forward and obvious, he won’t understand a situation.
Abilities: The Teutonic Order was created to fight, and that’s what he’s been doing all his short life. He’s got skill with the sword, bows and arrows, siege weaponry, whatever. Name any typically used weapon from the 13th century, and he’s probably killed a Muslim or two with it.
AIM: Pb2Ag
Email: Lunapen@hotmail.com
Notes: Feel free to hit me up anytime if you have questions, comments, critiques, or just want to chat.
Also, if one of those mediums are undesirable, feel free to post here, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I'll even leave Anon posting on for you.
Character Name: The Order of the Teutonic Knights of St. Mary's Hospital in Jerusalem -> The Teutonic Order -> Gilbert Weillschmidt
Character Series: Axis Powers: Hetalia
Character Age: Taken from 1237, right after assimilating the Livonian Brotherhood of the Sword; appears very very young
Background: Historical information, canon information, and appearences.
Personality: Allow me to start by describing the culture of the 13th century before moving on to the Teutonic Order.
To begin, think of all those lovely stories you heard as a child of King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table-The beautiful, pure women and the clean-shaven knights in their shining, plate-mail armor. Got that all envisioned? I’ll give you a second to savor it. Alright, ready to move on?
Good.
Now, punch it in the face. Punch all those myths, those stories of heroism and nobility, kindness and love, the Church controlling it all-just start punching that shit. Don’t stop. Because it’s all a load of bull. Complete and utter bull.
To begin, let’s look to the idealized form of ‘pretty people’. Simply put: people in the Middle Ages were filthy. Believing in the miasmatic theory of disease, most people were certain that illness came from smell. In order to counter the “bad” smells that caused plagues and premature deaths, one had to counter them with their own smells. In a sense, the worst you smelled, the better protected you were. AKA: no one took baths. Ever. See THIS? Pretty, beautiful people in their clean clothes with perfect hair? LOAD. OF. PUPCATS. Throw both of them into a puddle of melted snow sitting on the streets of New York City, rip out some teeth (rot the rest), and set Guinevere’s hair on fire (don’t forget to put it out). Oh, and make them both tiny. Because nutrition sucked back then. THERE is your accurate picture of the Middle Ages. In fact, King John (the fail one who lost every land forever) was scoffed at for bathing once a month. It was completely absurd! Cleanliness of self was not a priority.
Next myth to bust: the crusades. In 1095, the Council of Clermont, led by Pope Urban II began the crusades. Now, while this event is one of the most documented in the Middle Ages, every. Single. Source. Says something completely different. I would know-they were a total bitch to read through. From gaining gold and riches to glory to defeating Saladin, the anti-Christ, to leaving your families because it’s the right thing to do, NONE OF THE SOURCES AGREE ON WHAT WAS SAID. NONE OF THEM. Thankfully, though, there were a two common themes. One, the idea of “riches.” While it’s almost certain Urban II meant the riches of the afterlife, when preaching to a bunch of money hungry, second sons (they inherent no land), his words were obviously twisted. Two, the idea of saving “Christian brothers” from the Muslim menace. Every crusade, when rationalized by the Christians, was a defensive, war of vengeance for the wrongs committed by others. It was the heathen’s fault that the Christians had to kill them. It was their fault for being so backwards and stupid that the Christians had to come and make it all right. Great job, guys. As your reward, you get CRUSADE’D.
While those seem to be the main themes of Urban’s speech, the majority of those who attended it heard the words “milk and honey,” “forgiveness,” and “Jerusalem,” before picking up their swords and starting an all out dash towards the Middle East.
Later, in Urban’s letters of 1096, he was just like, “lol this was so not what I was expecting. Oops, gais.” Oh, Christianity.
Now, while I could sit here and give you a big long lesson of each individual battle of each crusade and the events leading up to the increased violence and hatred against the Orthodox Greeks and anything not-Christian, but that’d take too long, and I’d have to break out the pictures. Which means you’d probably want to strangle me. So, I’ll cut to the chase.
Crusader states.
Looking to the Kingdom of Jerusalem, in 1143 Pope Celestine II ordered the Knights Hospitaller to manage a completely German hospital in Jerusalem. Since the crusaders came from everywhere, a lot of them didn’t speak the common languages of French or Latin. So, thus began a completely Germany hospital-run for German crusaders by German crusaders. This was the beginning of the German led religious institutions, as opposed to the typical French/Roman institutions.
Now, some distance away from Jerusalem was the city of Acre, where the birth of our precious Teutonic Order took place. In 1187 some merchants got together and were like, “Hey, let’s totally do a field hospital thing like they’ve got in Jerusalem over here. GERMANS ONLY.” Approved by the pope in 1192, and after adopting the Augustinian Rule, the Teutonic Order of Knights began. President Sarkozy was there. In 1198, they were just like “fuck all this saving lives shit-LET’S KILL SOME GODDAMNED MUSLIMS FUCKYEAH CHRIST IS AWESOME” and became a military order. The Pope was just like “awesome, man. Have fun you crazy kids” and legitimized the crusader group. The Teutonic Knights then bought a giant castle a little away from Acre and made it their headquarters. From that castle, they could collect the tolls of the ships heading to Jerusalem. Fuckyeah money. It’s pretty important.
While his heartland was chillin’ in Acre, Andrew II of Hungary, in 1211, BEGGED FOR THEIR HELP IN KICKING CUMAN ASS. So the Teutonic Order frolicked up to Hungary to protect Burzenland. The Teutonic Order spent the next decade kicking the shit out of everything ever with the assistance of Hungary.
Personality-wise, think of the most ADHD little boy you know. Like, the one who is constantly moving, pulling kid’s hair, getting into fights, wallowing in mud and staining his new clothes, climbing trees and throwing acorns at the other kids-this sums up the Teutonic Order pretty damn well.
He’s a brat and thinks he’s the best at whatever he sets his mind out to do. Which, in most cases, is true. Unfortunately, this results in a giant ego. And when little kids have giant egos, they never shut the fuck up. So, while he knows he’s the best, he won’t hesitate to spread the knowledge, if you will.
He’s also highly religious. Being a religious, crusading order, his foundation lies with the Roman Catholic Church and the Pope. While, yeah, sure, a lot of his Knights are there for the fame, glory, money, and redemption from Hell, his goal and duty is still to Christianize the pagans. The Teutonic Order is willing to do anything to complete his job, even if it means being completely ruthless, impassionate, and cruel during the process. Hell, in his mind, none of those words describe his actions, because he believes that when he burns a pagan’s village down or is massacring pagan women and children, he’s doing the right thing and bringing them to the glory of God. Eventually, he even betrays his best friend for religion, because he wanted to be under the authority of the Pope, not the Magyar king.
Despite the situation, and despite the odds, he’s a blood-thirsty little brat. If there’s even the opportunity for a battle, he’ll take it, and, well, even if there isn’t, he’ll make one, because that’s how he rolls.
And, remember, at the end of the day, he’s still a child-nation. He’s blunt, and unless someone is straight-forward and obvious, he won’t understand a situation.
Abilities: The Teutonic Order was created to fight, and that’s what he’s been doing all his short life. He’s got skill with the sword, bows and arrows, siege weaponry, whatever. Name any typically used weapon from the 13th century, and he’s probably killed a Muslim or two with it.