Internalized fanphobia

[textualdeviance]

Am hashing out a very long, navel-gazing post about this sparked by Tumblr events from earlier today. Will bore you with it later, but the short version: Trying to decide whether it's inherently icky, or at least disrespectful, to be an openly lecherous fanthing. Also, whether there's a right and wrong way to be a fan (assuming one isn't actually

Comments

[noveldevice]

Many if not most people are very visual wrt attraction. You see someone, you like what they look like, you're attracted to them. Boom. Is that in some way problematic? I don't think that's in any way problematic.

I think as long as you're not being directly offensive to the person you're attracted to, you're fine, personally.

[textualdeviance]

I don't think it's problematic, but it's not how I'm wired. Physical features can get my attention, but keeping it beyond the initial prairie dogging requires personality stuff. Conversely, I'm often intensely attracted to people I find amazing who wouldn't necessarily turn my head on the street at all

[noveldevice]

I think whether your interest seems invasive or not depends on how blatant you are about it when you don't know them/they don't know you.

I know there are guys who are into me that I'm not into. I don't feel like it's invasive as long as they keep themselves to themselves once I've said "No thank you".

I used to be interested in personality and work myself around to finding someone physically attractive after the mental/emotional attraction happened. For various reasons, I'm not into that anymore. If you don't turn my head immediately, it's not going to happen. There have been a couple of exceptions to that in the last few years, and they were basically always huge mistakes, so I'm trying not to do that anymore. I'm lucky enough to attract the attention of the kind of dude I find hot--if that weren't the case, I'd have to change my approach. :)