12 Days of Teyla Fic: Five Ways Teyla Tells PG
When Teyla was five, her mother had gotten pregnant again. Perhaps the fetus was too young for the wraith to detect, because before Teyla was six Athos was culled again and the life was sucked out of her mother’s body and womb. She did not remember how far her mother was along, if she had already started showing, but she can recall the hope and joy her parents had exuded. And her memory of the night when everyone was screaming, when she hid in the trees and watched the wraith kill her mother, is perfectly clear. And oddly enough, the thing that sticks out the most is the way her mother’s hand aged and withered away on her stomach, as if her last impulse was a futile attempt to save her unborn child.
But then Teyla was left with her father, the way she is afraid her child has been left with her. And unlike the way she reacted on Athos when a new child was expected, new life was brought into the world, she cannot celebrate as long as her baby signifies both what she has lost and the one thing that will prevent her from finding them. Because if she has to stop looking for a few months, she’s afraid she will never find her people. Of course, she wants Kanan with her most of all, but she weeps at night for Halling and Jinto and the rest of her people as much as for him. She is a leader, after all.
If Teyla had her way, she would look for the Athosians until the baby pushed out of her, and then she’d pick him or her up and start looking again. But she knows that they won’t let her. Most of the people on the expedition from Earth come from places where war is something they “go to,” not something that comes to them. There are others that live differently on their planet, but they do not number amongst the senior staff that will decide whether she can serve on Sheppard’s team or not. To a woman whose pregnancy means one more reason to go out and fight, their privileged point of view seems ridiculous, but her opinion will probably not hold that much weight. That’s why she hasn’t told the Stargate personnel, including her own team yet.
But a pregnancy is impossible to hide forever, and it will slip out eventually. The only question is how.
One
When Teyla steps out of the gate, she commits what she’s heard John call a “rookie” mistake, something she thinks comes from one of the games he loves to watch, and stops right in the path of the person behind her. Rodney yelps as he sidesteps and stumbles, and her innate politeness prompts her to apologize. It isn’t often Teyla ignores courtesies, but things are changing.
They’re on a world they’ve visited several times before, but usually other teams make the trek. It’s a marketplace, and the worst dangers they face are generally pickpockets and the odd altercation between venders, but the last team out had heard something about Ancient technology that Rodney insisted he check out personally. He could have gone with another team, but Sam had decided this would be a cake-run for her flagship team so they could have a rest for once.
The gate is within a few minutes’ walk of the market so that people can evacuate quickly if the wraith come, and the market moves every so often to ensure that they are never culled. So even from here, she can hear the sounds of people buying and selling goods and chattering with excitement.
Chattering. That’s the key. Most everyone comes to the market to deal, so the number one commodity is gossip. Teyla has already asked that any teams going to the market keep asking about the Athosians, but at that moment, sitting there, she realizes the only way to make certain she hears something is if she stays on that planet. As it is, people are more likely to talk to a Pegasus native than the big, hulking marines Colonel Carter usually sends.
She turns to her teammates and calmly tells them that she is going to stay. Perhaps it’s the seriousness on her face, the steadiness of her voice, or the utter implacability in her eyes, but no one argues. Ronan even offers to stay, and of all of them, he’s the only one who understands, so she’s tempted. But she shakes her head. “I’ll need my things,” she says softly.
At that, John winces. He tells her she’ll be missed. “With the replicators and the wraith, we need you more than ever. I understand that you think this is the best place to get information, but you could keep coming back…” he isn’t arguing, he’s suggesting, but she shakes her head. “If I leave, I will spend every second of my life wondering if I missed something, if they died because I wasn’t here to hear something.”
They leave. But two months later, the replicators are on the verge of annihilating human worlds and they have the chance to the fight them once and for all, and they don’t want to go into battle one person short. They get to the latest planet designated as the marketplace and decide to surprise Teyla instead of radioing her when they arrive.
Ronan asks someone for directions amidst jokes from Rodney that he wouldn’t be doing so if he was a man from Earth. Judging from Ronan’s glare, McKay’s next workout would be painful.
They round a corner and see her cottage. She’s in the garden, tending to some flowers, in a flowing dress of some silky material that does nothing to hide her curves. Even if they hadn’t quite realized her condition yet, she chooses that moment to stand, holding her hand to her back in a pose they have seen on pregnant women on a hundred different worlds.
No one says anything, or makes a sound, but the instincts that make her a warrior causes Teyla to swing around and her mouth drops open. She gets over her shock first, and begins to look wary.
But she’s standing against the sun, and the child expanding her belly is the most beautiful thing any of them have ever seen. As a unit, her men smile in astonished joy. The practicalities of it, the worries, the questions melt away, and right then, it’s a hundred years ago, a thousand, yesterday, and they can only marvel at creation and the most basic symbol of life.
Two
Teyla hasn’t told them yet, and she knows she should. But every mission is more vital than the last, and she can’t imagine staying out as she knows they will make her do.
But this time, when the explosion catches her and throws her like a rag doll, this time, she wonders if the last hope of the Athosians has died with her.
When John falls to his knees beside her, hands running over her with a skill he’s learned from a hundred missions, she knows she has to tell him. Teyla isn’t an idiot; the only risks she has taken for her child have been in order to achieve something for him or her- a safe galaxy where the baby can grow up in as much peace and security as is possible. “John,” she gasps.
“Shut up,” he tells her fiercely. “Don’t talk; let me give you this shot.”
“Wait!” she orders, not sure what he’s giving her. “I’m pregnant.”
In any other circumstance, the look on his face might be amusing, as well as questions he tries to splutter before realizing this isn’t the time. But right then she’s afraid that she is going to die, or suffer a miscarriage, and she’s not quite sure what’s worse.
When she wakes up, her team is there. All of them are sleeping, but the machines she’s attached to alert Dr. Keller to her return to consciousness. The young woman smiles tremulously as she approaches, but she’s still new to the harsh realities of war, or perhaps life in general, because her face betrays the truth instantly. “Oh no,” Teyla isn’t aware of speaking, but the words must be coming from her because Keller’s face trembles, and John and Ronan wake up.
John searches for words, and rubs his hand over his face. But Ronan, sweet Ronan, gets up from his chair and walks to her. He puts his arms around her and holds her in a grip that is tight enough to warm and cuddle without suffocating the breath out of her. She hears Rodney wake up, but for once the awkward man says nothing, he just leans over and pats her hair with his large palm.
As she is held by Ronan it occurs to her that whatever happens, the Athosians cannot die. She is determined to find them. And if she doesn’t, she will ensure that her genes are passed on. They, whoever they are, cannot win.
Three
She holds a meeting. It’s rather like a council the Athosians had, and as their leader Teyla organized them quite often. However, it’s the first time she’s doing it so formally on Atlantis, and the senior staff and Ronan seem somewhat nervous.
John’s eyes skitter towards her, then away, and she knows that he thinks she’s going to leave them. The last few missions have revolved around Atlantean business, but she would not begrudge Rodney his attempt to save his sister, and the last time she saw Elizabeth, even a Replicator copy, well- she wouldn’t have missed that for anything. But the Seer didn’t tell her anything of use, and the fate of ALL her people is at stake. They know she’s been impatient, and they are afraid she’s going to leave.
There’s a part of her that’s been thinking of it, but she won’t do it. Yes, she’d probably get further if she didn’t have to put the fate of earth before New Athos, but she’s lost one community and she doesn’t think she has it in her to give up another.
“Thank you for agreeing to hold this meeting,” she acknowledged. “It is your generosity and cooperation that makes it especially difficult for me to announce something that may prompt you to remove me from the team.”
“Nothing”- John starts to say, and she’s grateful for it, but interrupts him because she isn’t sure she can bear hearing it.
“I’m pregnant.”
There’s dead silence, and it’s almost amusing. John’s face bleaches of all color, and she can see questions he doesn’t quite want to voice in front of everyone (Colonel Carter). But he doesn’t quite have the right, in her opinion. She doubts he’s lived as a monk for the past three years, and he’s definitely showed more overt interest in other women during that time than he has with her. Does he actually know that none of those unions have resulted in children? So despite whatever subtext they’ve had, he doesn’t have a claim on her.
Rodney has the gall to ask “How?” and she’s not quite sure if it’s Zelenka or Ronan who hits him. Judging from the fact that she’s pretty sure he’s exaggerating his limp when he gets up, she guesses it was not Ronan. Otherwise he’d be calling for medical intervention.
Colonel Carter gives her congratulations, but there’s a wistful expression on her face that Teyla doesn’t quite understand. Athosian women have never been held back from anything by childbirth; life is too valuable to cheapen by forcing people to choose between it and their dreams.
Zelenka stutters out his congratulations too, and she has the urge to lean over and kiss him for the honest pleasure on his face. Ronan’s joy is tempered only with sadness. He knows the father isn’t one of the many men on Atlantis that he has scared off, and because Ronan says little but sees everything, Teyla is quite sure he knows exactly who it is.
John still doesn’t say anything. He’s silent through everything until she starts to talk about her position on the team, and that she wants to stay on. Carter’s face isn’t encouraging, but before she can defend her position, John interrupts. “No, no, this isn’t the time to work out the details. We’re not on the roster for at least a couple of days, let’s do this tomorrow.”
Everyone stops and turns to look at him. There’s this undercurrent of tension, because apparently their weird subtext is not much of a secret. “Colonel Sheppard?” she asks uncertainly.
He gets up and walks to her. Tugging at her hands, he pulls her to her feet. There’s a new care to his grasp, but she’s going to take that as consideration and not underestimation. Slowly he lowers his head and she meets his in the traditional Athosian gesture of respect and affection. Then he steps away and smiles. “Tonight, Teyla, we celebrate.”
There’ll be problems ahead, she knows. There will be a clash of the cultures they come from and the different ideas they have of how pregnant women should behave. But tonight, it’s fitting that they celebrate. Because her people might be lost and humanity may be in desperate peril, but she’s having a child and that is a good thing.
Four
She’s almost five months pregnant, and no one seems the wiser. That’s a little amusing to both her and Keller, especially because it’s not that impossible to believe just looking at her. She’s already got a little bump, and even the looser clothes and jackets she’s wearing can’t hide her burgeoning belly anymore.
She’s also got second trimester morning sickness, according to Keller, and the lack of fresh fruits available on the base, what with the Replicators wiping out their trading partners, makes it even harder not to be sick. Because their away missions often require them to stay the night, most of her teammates have seen her retch in the mornings, but aside from asking solicitously if she has the flu, or in Rodney’s case keeping five feet away from her out of his fear of germs, they do not comment. At one point Sheppard orders her to see Keller, but he subsides when she tells him she has and there’s nothing wrong with her.
Then there are the cravings. Most of her teammates suffer from insomnia at some point or another, but she rarely does unless there are wraith or whales nearby, or her team leader has been touching strange alien creatures again. So it should be odd to see her stumbling into the cafeteria at odd hours of the night, but again, no one comments even though she runs into at least one of her teammates almost every time. She’s never there for longer than it takes to devour some odd concoction but they seem to put it down to odd Athosian tastes and leave her alone.
Her workouts have changed too. While it’s important for her to stay fit, she doesn’t want to risk harming the child so she has altered her workouts to incorporate more exercises that protect her belly or cushion blows. Although Ronan does notice these changes, he suggests she stop worrying about hurting herself and take down her opponent instead. She throws her stick at him and stalks out.
Later he comes to apologize. Because he has food, she forgives him. She considers telling him the truth, but then remembers how protective he already is. The last time she tried to date someone in the city, Ronan stalked the poor Marine for several days to make certain that he was trustworthy. By the time Ronan decided he liked him, the man had canceled their date.
She thinks she’s just relieved, but doesn’t see the anger building within her until it’s too late. It finally comes out when she’s getting up from the table where the other members of her team are still eating breakfast.
“Hey, Teyla,” Ronan remarks. “You’ve put on some weight.”
“Ronan!” Sheppard says sharply. He smiles at Teyla and gestures for her to sit down again. “She’s fine.”
“Besides, you Neanderthal, even I know not to speak to women like that.” Rodney’s voice is smug, but he isn’t looking at her.
“Oh come on, Teyla isn’t that kind of girl,” Ronan only digs his hole deeper.
She sits down. “Oh no? Then what kind of girl am I?” her voice is sickly sweet. The two expedition members from Earth wince, and even Ronan seems to get that he’s in trouble, but he keeps on.
“Teyla, you’re a fighter and you can take the truth. You have to be in shape, but you’re always eating and it’s showing. You’re also fighting weird. You need to practice more.”
Fire was sizzling in her eyes, and at this point Sheppard and McKay are trying to escape, but they’re held captive as much by their fear of catching her attention as a sick, morbid fascination with seeing how she hands Ronan’s ass back to him.
“I’m not in shape? I’m fighting ‘weird?’ Tell you what Ronan Dex, let’s go down to one of the workout rooms and I’ll show you just how much I need to practice.”
“Come on Teyla, don’t get mad. It’s perfectly normal. Lots of people, especially women, start putting on weight easier when they reach a certain age”-
“Oh my God, it’s like watching a natural disaster and being unable to look away,” Rodney said, awe-struck.
Teyla loses her temper spectacularly in a way they haven’t seen her expend on anyone but the wraith. “You idiot! I’m not getting fat or old! I’m pregnant!”
It’s almost comical the way the three men’s jaws dropped simultaneously. But she’s tired and angry and in no mood to coddle their confusion. She sweeps out the door and down the corridor to the one place that she knows they will not follow her on pain of needles and invasive procedures- Keller’s infirmary. There, she is eventually joined by Colonel Carter, and the three women simmer over chocolate and tea and vent out their frustration with all the men of their acquaintances.
Five
In the end, she has to tell them about her pregnancy after a wraith stunner knocks them all out on the floor of a jumper. Sheppard is impatient and surprised and angry, but his reaction makes her cringe. He makes her feel one foot tall, and as if she’s personally betrayed him.
Ronan, on the other hand, is wonderful. He holds her hand, and makes her feel safe in a way no one has since she lost her father. Perhaps it’s his size, or the way he holds her, or maybe it’s just the fact that he knows the father and promises to help her find him. Or perhaps it comes down to his unwavering support and lack of judgment.
Rodney isn’t there when she tells the rest of the team, but he drops by and mutters something that sounds like “Congratulations” and what she suspects may have been an inquiry as to her baby’s parenthood. He asks her if she needs something, and offers Jeannie’s help acquiring baby and maternal things from Earth, but she reminds him that women have been propagating for thousands of years in the Pegasus Galaxy. She doesn’t mention that they have been doing so despite the wraith and cullings because it isn’t her place to cause dissent in the ranks. But she feels like he would understand- he didn’t speak to his sister for years because she stopped working after becoming pregnant.
Carter stops by as well and congratulates her. She doesn’t want to talk about Sheppard’s decision, and Teyla can see her torn between her respect for his leadership, her own upbringing in a place where women probably did not carry children into battle, and the understanding of a female leader who won’t be kept back from a war that involves everyone she loves.
At the end, Teyla knows staying safe is a luxury she has as little as she wants. Sheppard can tell her to stay at home as much as he wishes, and he can keep her away from certain missions, but the Replicators and the wraith will threaten wherever she remains. And Atlantis has seen its share of violence in the city.
Besides, Teyla will not stay in her room and bide her time. With or without her team,she will not give up the search for Kanan and the rest of her people. As important as it is to keep her unborn child safe, it is equally vital for her to give the baby the past that shaped the person she is, the community that she was born into and the family that made her.
THE END
Anyone else see the People's choice awards?