Hm

[thacerine]

So, I really like JD's/The Summit's idea about telling people all the nice things you think of them this week. Except...I'm kinda hesitant about it. Because for some reason most of the times I've tried to really encourage someone, tell them I appreciate them, tell them how awesome they are, etc., they've reacted like I'm some kind of creepy

Comments

[tcbcaone]

Hmm. I've been thinking about this since Sunday night. Not really sure myself. I always feel like, in a perfect world, it'd be great if we'd all compliment each other when compliment was due. But realistically, I can't see it. Our culture seems too closed-off for anyone to do that. Which is kinda a lie, because I know so many people who can pull that off with grace and style. But it seems really impossible for me.

And about the other question: I'm not sure. I apologize if I've every reacted that way--honestly don't remember an instance--but I've seen it happen. idk. You're quite competent at nice and encouraging (one of the most sincere in my experience, might I add), so I'm not sure why it'd be received poorly. Spur-of-the-moment brainstorming [insert disclaimer here]: maybe people are taken aback by sincere encouragement, because it's so rare. Or maybe people come to expect snark from you, so when they see another side of you, they're confused. Or maybe we're all just wandering in the dark and it's the human condition.

[emeraldessence]

I don't know about other people, but personally I don't take complements very well. I get all flustered because part of me(let's call it part A) responds with, 'yes, I know' and then the other part of me(lets call it part B) yells at part A for being so egotistical. Part B then lists all of the reasons why the complement is either false or short lived. To be completely honest though, Part A tends to win arguments a lot. It really frustrates Part B. Yes, it's weird and sounds very silly and I don't really know why I feel this way. Complements are great, but to tell you the truth I think I have a fear of inflating my ego way too much and not being humble enough. I suppose Part B is really just a defense mechanism. Hmm...Complementaphobia, perhaps? I suppose it all can be condensed down into one statement: I fear complements

[emeraldessence]

On second thought, and after reading JD's post, perhaps the trick to encouraging others is by giving the encouragement at the right time and place. You could also vary the amount so as not to be overwhelming or, like Tyler said, strange. Strange things are scary, even when the strange is in fact a large string of complements.