Sam, love, sex, travelling...
Argh, I don't even know where to start. Too much to think about, decisions I don't really want to make.
Things have gone so fast between me and Sam, we've only been together for 2 weeks tomorrow, but I love him, I really do. And he loves me. It's so strange, because since I'm still at his place, we're together 24/7, basically. Except for the times I just need to be alone. Like today. When I just need some time to think.
The thing is that I've got to leave. Whether it's tomorrow or next week, I've got to go some time, and actually, some time soon. Or, well, I want to be in Adelaide by Christmas, which is still some time from now. But for some reason, part of me wants to leave, as soon as possible. I'm scared, so very scared.
Scared of loving him too much; because he's 5 years older; because I need to go some time; because of sex...It all seems so simple: I love him, he loves me, I could stay...so why am I so scared? Why does part of me want to leave so badly?
Right now, I would give anything to be able to talk to one of my friends face to face. I need someone to talk to, but there's no one here I know well enough...
:sigh: I just really don't know...I need to decide today if I'm leaving within the next few days, or if I'm staying for a few more weeks & get a job, but I don't know if I can. God knows it seems simple enough, but I really, really don't know...
Things have gone so fast between me and Sam, we've only been together for 2 weeks tomorrow, but I love him, I really do. And he loves me. It's so strange, because since I'm still at his place, we're together 24/7, basically. Except for the times I just need to be alone. Like today. When I just need some time to think.
The thing is that I've got to leave. Whether it's tomorrow or next week, I've got to go some time, and actually, some time soon. Or, well, I want to be in Adelaide by Christmas, which is still some time from now. But for some reason, part of me wants to leave, as soon as possible. I'm scared, so very scared.
Scared of loving him too much; because he's 5 years older; because I need to go some time; because of sex...It all seems so simple: I love him, he loves me, I could stay...so why am I so scared? Why does part of me want to leave so badly?
Right now, I would give anything to be able to talk to one of my friends face to face. I need someone to talk to, but there's no one here I know well enough...
:sigh: I just really don't know...I need to decide today if I'm leaving within the next few days, or if I'm staying for a few more weeks & get a job, but I don't know if I can. God knows it seems simple enough, but I really, really don't know...